Day 212 - A Reflection

Looking from the other side...

As it is certain, you are going to die.

So consider for a moment,

You are now dead.



As you look back on your life,

You realize the great shame that you existed as,

The whole world is a shameful place,

So none are exempt



You played your part,

And worst of all,

You denied it all.

You denied yourself Life.



You accepted the system, the program,

You supported it, and encouraged it,

You reveled amidst the Massacre of Life

There's no point denying it now.



You gave up the Greatest Love of All,

Equality as Life,

Afraid of what people would think of you,

If you were Honest with yourself,



You traded Reality for the Illusion,

And refused the Gifts of Self Forgiveness and Change,

While the physical was always right here as You,

In every moment.



"Why did I not See!!!"  You try to scream,

But you have no voice,

You are dead.

You exist now only as a single point of reflection.



You misplaced your Trust,

You accepted the bribe in your secret mind,

You thought no one would Ever find out,

But you Knew



You valued your own Opinions,

What you thought was Right and Good,

Nothing but Lame Excuses and False Justifications...

All worthless now.



You proved that All you Really wanted,

Was Your Dreams, and Your Selfish Desires, for You,

The You who you BeLIEved yourself to be in your Imagination,

You fell for the cheapest lie.



You were too busy to care for real,

Too obsessed with yourself to give a fuck about Life

Now you realize...

It is over.



You had your chance,

To Stand Equal to Life,

But your sudden death was tragic,

And now you have no expression



Ask yourself this...

What would you Give,

Given the chance to go back?

Anything? ...Everything.



That is the Only Gift,

Worthy of Life

Yet when you are dead,

It is too late.

163 - Miss Breath and Miss Opportunity

Today I had to do an estimate.  During negotiations, I realized that I would not be able to do the job due to an outlet being in the wrong place.  For some reason, perhaps I figured it would take too long with the electrical work that needed to be relocated.  I quickly assumed that I would not be able to do the job, explained this to the client and closed negotiations saying I could come back when he had that issue fixed himself.

While I was driving home, it occurred to me that I probably could have done the relocation myself and charged the customer a little more for the time involved.  Why had I not seen that opportunity?  My assumption was quick, as the customer and I had been bartering over price - which was already very low, and this was causing me some frustration as I had already taken the time to drive all the way out there, which has already cost me 1/5th of the total job price in gas.

I see that I had already begun to become negative about the job, and when I realized that the plug had to be moved, I entertained a good feeling of not having to do the work with the excuse that I could not do it now.  The happy feeling was compounded by the negative feeling that I was not going to make any money, and I had in fact lost money by doing the estimate.  Within all of these feelings, I did not stop myself to assess the situation here as breath, trusting myself and the physical.  I was going by the emotion of how events like this had played out in the past - so I was in fear that the worst would happen.

The other point I realized is that, had I seen the opportunity to relocate the electrical myself and negotiated with the client for it, I may well have been upset with myself for undertaking the job, especially if there were any surprises as there always are in this line of work.  So it is a situation where I would judge myself either way.  The only solution to this is to remain here in breath, and not go into self-judgement for any reason.  Stop living my past and to live every moment as me, as breath.  I was aware of my breath the whole way to the clients house, however when I got there and the stress of the job kicked in, I lost all awareness and went on autopilot.

Business is more competitive in the winter here, and I had not prepared enough advertising for myself in the fall.  I had a job lined up which did not work out, and then expected to be able to get a job somewhere but that has not panned out either.  I will be exploring my options over the next little while to see where I can place myself to be effective and to support myself.   Besides that, process wise, things seem to be going well.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I encounter a stressful situation where I am in the vicinity of people - go on autopilot and forget my breath awareness causing me to make rash decisions and choices based in fear and how things have played out in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by systems as the projection of fear that the worst would happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not realizing the opportunity to do the extra work and make some extra money from the situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget my newly learned skills of persuasion when dealing with clients - reciprocity, authority, scarcity, consistency, liking and consensus.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to direct myself in the most effective manner so that I am able to support myself and change my world to a world worth living in with Equality of Life as the principle we all live by.

I commit myself to pushing myself to remain in breath awareness when involved in stressful situations where other people are around.

I commit myself to stop living in past definitions and begin to take responsibility for me in all situations through breathing and living from the starting point of here - as seeing every situation as a completely new experience of myself here, equal to the physical reality.

I commit myself to the realization that, to walk this process of awareness in each moment is... to bring myself back from the state of absolute self-devaluation, where my existence hangs by a single strand of knowledge of myself, in the understanding that the whole universe has in fact betrayed me, as the reflection of my own self-betrayal.... to align myself with the actual starting point of myself here, as breath, so that I may create myself as Equal to all things, as the final end of all enslavement and beginning of Life without limitation or judgement, where the value of All is Equally precious as Life.
     

160 - Parental Cloning Part 1

We grow up thinking life will be fun.   I recall my parents yelling at my siblings and I, condescendingly saying  'Do you think life is a big joke..?'

As a child, it soon becomes apparent that we are constantly dealing with a constant barrage of problems with friends, family, school and inside ourselves.  It's like we are being dragged in all directions as if to be drawn and quartered - one horse attached to each limb by a rope.  Some would refer to this as growing pains, however that is a gentle cover-up for the real story.

Due to the accepted and allowed nature of how society functions in our world - as being based in self-interest - there is a great deal of confusion and 'mixed messages' being communicated to children and teenagers.  This can make it extremely difficult, for any child or teen to decide which, or how much moral principle should be attributed to a given situation when uncertainty presents itself.  What choice should be allotted the highest value?..  and at what time?.. depending on who one is with?.. and where?

Children are instilled with moral guidelines from a very early age, as their parents train them how to 'react' when they speak, or want them to do/not do something.  Some of these moral guidelines are common sense in order to prevent the child from hurting themselves or others.  Often however, these moral guidelines are based on cultural beliefs or opinions of behavioral idealism's of the parents which are not common to everyone in society, but often based on a 'class' system, for example manners.  This presents a problem.  As the child learns these patterns of behavior, later on in their lives they act out these patterns for themselves, thinking they are 'right' as their parents taught them to believe so - only to find out that they have either offended someone, or made a 'mistake' by using the patterned behavior at an inappropriate way, time, or place.  

This is just a small fraction of the problem, as the entire sociological makeup of the child is absolutely inundated with all kinds of patterns of behavior inherited from the parents.   Everything from feelings, emotions, reactions, coping mechanisms, vices, excuses, habitual patterns, opinions, judgments, classifications, beliefs, personalities, etc etc.  In fact, the entire makeup of the parents character is imprinted on the child literally from birth, making every 'parented' child susceptible to, and a clone of their parents.

I will continue in the next post discussing the inherent problems and solutions of parental cloning.

159 - Unemployment - Equal Money Capitalism Solutions & Rewards

Problem : 

Capitalism High Unemployment Rates

Causes :

Profit Based Labor and Education Systems

- No profit potential for existent jobs required to be done that benefit society as a whole.
- Inefficient and expensive training programs (most often) at considerable expense of the trainee/student which fuels a system of debt and enslavement
- Often these programs are ineffective due to poor training techniques such as too much focus on theory as opposed to actual practical job-site experience.
- Education systems are limited and bound by those same principles of profit, thus reducing overall efficiency and effectiveness
- Responsibility to society is easily abdicated in favor of self-interest and profit to the detriment of society as a whole
- Lack of actual growth, systemic incongruencies lead to fewer job openings and potential
- Oppressed populations increasingly willing to work for lower wages in order to just survive within the system
- Irresponsible family planning leading to abuse, neglect and general overpopulation
- Over exploitation of finite resources for unnecessary consumption/profit
- Wasteful government departments and corporations draining and filtering economic resources into superfluous products and services
- Robotic systems and machinery given higher value than life due to their ability to work longer and harder with less cost and downtime.

Solution : 

Equal Money Capitalism

- Jobs that benefit society as a whole are given Equal consideration and thus performed and taken care of for the benefit of everyone
- On the job training will be more readily accepted as a common sense solution to jobs that are inherently practical and simple to perform
- Education will be considered a basic human right and thus free
- Efficiency and effectiveness overall will increase due to immense stress reduction and therefore increased employee teamwork, co-operation, satisfaction and overall well being of all involved
- Increased participation leads to exponential growth through frequently proposed solutions for overall improvement
- Exponential growth of all through expansion, inclusion, innovation, responsibility, realization and self-enjoyment
- Increased freedoms and relief of the suffering and oppressed - humans, animals, and plants alike
- More effective and specific educational programs leading to realizations of responsibility to life and an improved lifestyle for everyone.
- Responsible, practical and sustainable use of finite resources
- Wasteful systems eliminated in favor of practical functions which improve the well being of all
- Only systems which facilitate and support life as a whole will be considered and constructed in a way that is built to last and easily repaired.

Rewards :

- Increased social interaction especially among those excluded by the current system
- Considerable increase in free time as wasteful and counter-productive systems are eliminated, and efficient and effective systems are put in place
- Early retirement will provide everyone with an opportunity to enjoy life, share and express themselves in a way that they enjoy.
- Exponential increase in overall enjoyment of everyday life
- A clean, pollution free planet will become a distinct possibility, thus increasing the well being of all life - animal plant and human
- Wonderful and amazing new inventions and innovations will be created continuously through increased co-operation and freedom of expression as well as knowledge and information sharing
- Vast increases in the understanding of existence and the universe
- New exploration and travel potential and possibilities through increased cooperation
-  Profound new realizations about life itself through knowledge and information sharing
- Exceeding previous limitations and belief systems
- Transcending fears, and embracing a new era of unconditional self-expression
- End of all undesirable consequences stemming from ignorance and self-interested living

158 - Questioning the Universe

Caught myself pondering the vast mysteries of the Universe this evening.  I was going to blog about something 'er other but of course, someone had to go and fiddle with my kaleidoscope again, messing up the perfect little image I had of everything... OK.  Looking at this whole thing from a new perspective now.  I was watching a documentary on the universe narrated by Morgan Freeman, sitting in my chair I dosed off in the first 5 minutes, only to awake to catch the last 3 minutes or so.  At the end he was speaking about scientists definition of life, and what parameters they put on weather or not something is actually considered life or not, (for those unaware, as the scientists, everything has awareness lol)  ex. Does it replicate itself? - In which case many things such as machines or even cars may do so in a factory, where robots carry out instructions rather like DNA would be used as the blueprint.... this is somewhat besides the point.

So having all of my background understanding from the Desteni material, as well as perspectives of beings  brought through the inter-dimensional portal whom have done interviews from the afterlife, I began to consider the fact (as I had heard) that a 'being' can span multiple bodies.  This I find interesting, yet somewhat awkward to grasp, as how can a body, or cell, or organism... be itself as an individual, as well as part of other bodies, cells, or organisms at the same time as if to comprise itself of 2 or more 'life' embodiment's/beings?

This seemed strange to me... I have no doubt that there are more than likely perspectives and answers to this that I have not yet been privy to, in which case I remain content with the fact that I will understand more in time.  It was then that I considered something that I have already 'known' from a certain perspective, yet perhaps not entirely.

Until several years ago, I had been living my whole life within the assumption that I am a separate being.  So looking back at my childhood, my whole starting point of who I am - as who I understood and believed myself to be - was based on this assumption that -- I am separate from reality.  Rather Frightening.  This 'idea' or belief that 'I am separate' from my reality induces a tremendous amount of fear, if one perceive and consider the actuality that - I am subject to death - Death, as the untimely, untamed, and unknown monster, more evil and sinister than my greatest known fear.  The fact that it is not talked about or discussed by my parents, whom are the living representation of God to me, only re-enforces this great fear I have of death within me.  It is apparent to me that no one can actually save me from a potentially random terrifying experience, in which case I would have to face God knows what... the indoctrinated idea of hell, or my worst fear of all, non-existence.

This experience of fear, now deeply suppressed, becomes a driving force which impacts and creates my experiences of myself.  It also causes me to question who I am, but it is clear that I do not even know myself, and can only guess and 'make-believe' answers, which children frequently do. Is it any wonder that we grasp after definitions, labels, personalities, opinions and classifications of ourselves, desperately seeking to answer the question we are unable to even formulate?  Although we cannot calculate precisely, we can certainly observe the consequences in our world, of our collective irresponsibility as parents - deliberately neglecting to address this fear of death within children and themselves, rather preferring to focus on achieving egotistical goals of morality, education, and financial success. In so, many of us have yet to realize the full impact of this indescribable shame, yet we will all see soon enough, as the time has come to reap what we have sewn.  This, besides the fact that this world is already living hell for millions.

Who I am, as this 'Belief of myself' as a separate being - is really just another bubble, which eventually has to burst.  As long as I am here, I am a participant in this shared physical reality. I could say from a certain perspective that 'Who I am', as this experience of myself, is actually the Universe in totality, indirectly experiencing itself as me, through this physical body.  So I must abolish that part of me that is an illusion - the parasite - which is the belief I have always selfishly believed myself to be - so that I can be here in existence solely to share and express myself in the best interest of all life, in so creating myself as Equal to Life.  As Jesus said... I am the way - funny I always assumed that meant 'He' was the way, not understanding that Life can only exist in Equality, as standing Equal to All things.

Join The Journey to Life Group on Facebook and check out the Free Course provided by Desteni which is great Self Support.

Day 152 – The Official Zombie Questionnaire

My Dear Zombies,

I write this for you.   It is my heartfelt desire that you read this letter, so that perhaps you may finally come to realize yourself, to understand who you really are in this world.  In so doing, may you realize that you are capable of changing yourself, to become a being who truly cares, so that together we may work to free all the other zombies, and create a world that is best for all life. 

If, upon reading this list of questions I have prepared you, you find yourself answering ‘yes’ to one or more, you must realize that you my friend, are mind controlled.   Not to panic, there are many just like you in this world, unaware of themselves… all living in self-interest.  Much work has already been done to provide support specifically for cases like yours.  May you take hold of this crucial opportunity… while you have the chance.  

In All Sincerity,
William




The Official Zombie Questionnaire


Do you believe in the boogie man?

Do you believe that some being is going to save you?

Do you think you are special?

Are you afraid of who you would be if you were absolutely honest with yourself always?

Do you ever find yourself, not being yourself?

Do you ever hide behind a false personality?

Do you believe you are superior or inferior to any other beings?

Do you hear voices in your head?

Do you fear losing any personal possessions?

Do you ever wonder, or get concerned about what other people think about you?

Do you ever compare yourself to others, or judge anyone in any way?

Do you ever judge yourself?

Do you ever have secret thoughts about another person?

Do you have any personal beliefs or opinions?

Do you hold value in memories of past experiences?

Do you blame anyone for bad experiences in your life?

Do you ever get angry, upset, depressed, worried or lonely?

Do you think Love and Happiness are the primary goals in life?

Do you believe you will ascend to a higher realm when you die?

Do you allow your body to breathe for you, without your active participation in each breath?

Do you believe you can never change yourself?

Do you believe the world is just fine the way it is?


If you have answered yes to any of the preceding questions and suspect that you yourself may be a mind controlled Zombie, DO NOT PANIC!  There is plenty of help and support available for you at Eqafe.com

Day 151 – Android

I Watched the movie Prometheus tonight.  I here reflect on the character that played the robot/android.  I see how this character conducted himself to a strict regimen, taking speaking lessons upon waking up, and efficiently, at the same time eating breakfast.  This character expressed no feelings or emotions, as it had no capacity to do so given its internal programming, feeling and emotion was irrelevant and not necessary.  The function of the robot was to support the mission, and support human beings.

It is interesting, because this process (journey to life) would be interpreted by my mind as me ‘becoming a robot’ to no longer be subject to feelings and emotional programming. At the same time living within the primary function/principle of supporting all life in Equality.  

This fear, where my mind creates the idea that if I were to give up my mind as the program, I would become a robot, is deception.  The opposite is actually true – I already am a robot - if I am controlled by programs (thoughts/beliefs/opinions etc.) which trigger feelings and emotions which control me and cause me to act in self-interest and irresponsibility to life. 

So my responsibility, is not to stop all my feelings and emotions, but to stop judging them and being controlled by them.  In doing so, I learn to direct myself (and my feelings and emotions) in what is best for everyone, and my feelings and emotions are re-aligned, to no longer be based in self-interest, but are expressed in self-honesty and consideration for others – thus extended outward to include everything and everyone in existence, so that life can be supported, as without life, there would be no expression in or of existence.

I realize I have the power and responsibility to change and re-program myself using self-forgiveness as the tool of self-realization and self-correction.  In that, I am able to make the decision to live what is best for all, as Equality… equalizing myself with what is here, as my physical body, so I myself can be supported as an Equal, and all abuse of life can stop. 

So the point is to stop being a robot slave.

Join the Journey to Life

Day 141 - Self Denial Dimensions

 
Continuation from previous posts…
http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-130-self-denial.html
http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-131-self-denial-part-2.html
http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-132-self-denial-part-3.html
 
Triggers/Memories
Typically prominent when I am confronted and/or speaking with another person, yet also occurring when I am alone. Example memory - I recall when I was young, a situation where person x getting very aggressive with me.
 
Being in daycare at the time, it was winter and I had a full face mask to protect from the cold. Perhaps out of nervousness of attending daycare (I cannot recall), I chewed on the mouthpiece of the mask. Person z was asked to wear the mask by Person x, and did not want to wear it because he thought it was gross (it was all mangled up). Person x asked me why I chewed on the mouthpiece, and I replied “because it was juicy…” (lol). Person x immediately went into a rage, grabbed me by my jacket and threw me into the front seat of the car from the back. Person x began cursing and yelling at me “Why the @#$% did you do that!?”. Being in fear, I did not know what else to reply or what Person x wanted me to reply, so I kept repeating I don't know.
 
There were many similar occurrences in which I allowed myself to go into self-denial/suppression. In so I developed the personality character of Self-denial, preferring not to speak or express myself due to fear of others being disappointed with me or reacting in rage/anger that would potentially cause an uncomfortable or stressful situation which I sought to avoid.
 
 
Thoughts - Justifications and excuses
“I don't want to cause a conflict here”
“I don't want to hurt anyone”
“I will talk about/deal with that later”.
“I would rather not deal with that right now”
“I don't want to deal with that right now”
“I don't want to waste my energy on describing this whole thing”
“I don't want to impose my beliefs on x”
“I don't want to offend x”
“I deserve what I'm getting, and so I have to deal with the consequences”
“They will not understand”
“They don't/won't get it”
“Situation x will fail”
“What if situation x happens” – playing out worst case scenarios
“What if desire x does not happen”
“I don't want to expose myself”
“I don't want person x to hate me”
“I don't want person x to think I'm using them”
“I don't want person x to be upset”
“I don't want to be a bully”
“I want to give others the opportunity to be responsible for themselves”
“I don't know the answer”
“I don't want to go there”
“What if I realize that I am at fault/guilty of x”
“Its easier if I just play along”
“I can't wait to be alone/free of person x”
"I'm not self-righteous"
 
 
Feelings/Emotions
Resistance/Reluctance to direct myself. Frustration. Awkwardness. Sadness as self-pity where I create a positive energy experience of myself – to compensate for the negative experience I had of self-denial) within the point that I can blame someone else, and then enjoy going into my 'happy place' in my mind, where I can create all kinds of fantasies of imagining the other person suffering, and myself playing out and enjoying all of the things (expressions and dreams) that I feel I have been denied in my life by others - through blame.
 
 
Physical
Through taking directive principle in a conversation this evening, I realize that it takes a considerable amount of effort on my part, whereas before I could just relax and let my mind do all the work for me, only speaking to appease the other, or facilitate the conversation when I wanted to get an energetic high. Also noticing physical resistance as tiredness, and wanting to slouch back in my chair. Scratching/Rubbing my head (for luck hhh).
 
 
Beliefs/Perceptions
Belief that I cannot change the situation. Belief that I am stuck in this situation. Belief that I've done everything I can do. Belief that there are no consequences because I do not see them here now.
 
 
Desires
Desire for personal experience in self-interest, and so fear losing personal experience. Desire to fantasize what it would be like if situation x happened in real life, how I would express myself – yet only creating it in imagination dimension.
 
 
Fears
Fear someone will be disappointed or 'put out' if I express myself. Valuing others as being of more value than myself, as playing out the inferior/submissive personality character based on the perception that to be inferior is to be humble. Based in the starting point of me allowing others to take responsibility for themselves, not realizing that I was avoiding taking responsibility for myself, not understanding myself as an Equal participant or how I had been suppressing myself.
 
Fear someone will criticize me, and cause me to go into a reaction of anger and consequently self-punishment, which I also feared, as I have seen the destructive consequences of my anger. Fear others will use my expression as leverage to gain advantage over me and/or make fun of me within the context of fear of not being liked and/or accepted by others. Not accepting myself for who I am. Fear of having to put out all kinds of effort, but believing that nothing will come of it as everything has failed in the past.
 
 
Consequences
Finding myself in situations I despise and desperately do not wish to be in. Being in situations where I am forced to do something regardless of whether or not I wish to do it or not. This has the resulting consequence of me going into stress, frustration, and anger with more spin-off consequences of those patterns/systems of enslavement.
 
 
Correction
Move and direct myself to take directive principle
 
Self Forgiveness and Correction to follow in next post…

Day 128 – Comfortable Prison

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my responsibility to myself and all within my daily application, and that there are actually things that I can accomplish that would have an effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the idea that little effect is virtually no effect, therefore not worth the effort, when in actuality a little effect is what allows me to change the larger effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I become tired in the morning that I can not push through that resistance, that the tiredness feeling will stay there all day if I do not rest.  I realize that I must physically stand up and move myself to shake it off so that I can use my time efficiently and effectively. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being uncomfortable, and so fear moving myself, being content in the temporary comfort within the mind-made prison I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift into states of consciousness, hypnotized by comfort within the belief that if I just don’t do anything, I can minimize the expense and risk, in the fear and belief that I will not accomplish anything significant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through avoiding my responsibilities to myself and all in the reluctance to move myself because I have allowed my mind to dictate to me that I would rather just relax and exist in blissful comfort, not realizing that this bubble is sure to burst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run from myself and hide in comfort, without realizing that placing myself outside my comfort zone in situations of discomfort will assist me to support myself and others in doing what is necessary to be done to support Equality of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as ‘good’ and discomfort as ‘bad’.  I realize that all situations must be faced so that all can be Equally comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be double-minded, as seeing myself desiring to have the best of both worlds, where I perceive myself to be a certain ‘good’ character walking the process, yet at the same time I have allowed energy systems to play out without fully recognizing and stopping what is happening and pushing myself through the wall of resistance within clearing my starting point and breathing. I realize that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into energetic reactions because I perceive that there is no ‘value’ in pushing myself through resistances in the morning in particular.

I commit myself to re-define comfort to taking responsibility to change myself – despite my personal desires to just drift away in relaxation – to push myself through resistances by moving myself and breath awareness, doing what is required to be done and living what is best for all in each moment. 

I commit myself to realize that to push my resistances even a little bit is not wasted effort as I begin to accumulate myself here and realize that it is not necessary to be enslaved to energy and fears.

I commit myself to push my limitations I have created in my mind, where I choose to believe what I am able to do rather than do my best and see what transpires.

I commit myself to realize that there is one world, and I must not allow myself to be enslaved to energy as the mind - as the desire for heavenly experiences of myself in selfishness and the belief that I am separate.

I commit myself to addressing every item on my to do list every day and push myself to do even more than what I believe I am able to do.

I commit myself to pushing through moments of tiredness by getting up and walking or going outside.

Day 117 – The End of All Selfishness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that love can only exist if Life exists, and that love can only be real when it is given Equal value as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the extent to which I have allowed neglect and spite to exist, and the extent to which it causes pain, fear, suffering and sorrow, and the extent to which it is so easily swept away and forgotten in the mind, only to be re-enacted through the very same cycle within the desire for selfish experiences, as limited joy, and pretentious love.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clearly see and understand, that the problem has a root within myself, and that unless the root of the problem is corrected, the problem continues to physically consume me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the solution to the problem as simply taking responsibility to change myself, to give up selfishness… and in doing so, I can contribute to the solution to the root of the problem, to bring an end to fear, suffering, sorrow and all enslavement forever. 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity, that Equality as What is Best for All is the absolute solution to all problems, as everyone working together for the common sense practical solutions to assist all Life to have an Equal opportunity to express and enjoy Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through the inner valuation and judgments of my secret mind, I have participated and given my support to the greater valuation system, in spite of myself and as all of existence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Life cannot exist within competition, conflict and careless consumption, nor can it exist within a valuation system where Life is regarded as the lowest of all values, in favor of self-indulging experience as greed, as this results in Life itself being consumed, for nothing.

I commit myself to creating myself as Equal to Life so that love can exist for real, as Life, as me

I commit myself to abandon all selfish desire, so that I may honor myself and All as Equal so that Life can be of real value

I commit myself to understanding the common sense that the root of the problem must be corrected and lived within myself

I commit myself to realize the simplicity of changing myself to live Equality, and to work for common sense practical solutions that will give every being an opportunity to live, express and enjoy the gift of Life

I commit myself to make a stand against all valuations and judgments so that we can replace this valuation system for a system where Life can be supported

I commit myself to give Life as Equality the highest value so that a valuation system is no longer necessary, as all can exist Equal to Life.

Day 110 – Roots of Selfishness

Looking at my experiences when have allowed myself to go into thoughts and memories because I would rather not ‘be here’ as breath… typically because I am doing something I don’t want to do, such as heading to work, where fear and anxiety come up.   I want to avoid the situation, make myself feel better, disappear in to ‘my happy place’ in my mind… because I create the idea that ‘work’ is a negative experience – as it is tied to money as enslavement, as something I am forced to do.  As well I feel that I am being judged based on my performance and ability to ‘produce’ a good result based on the customers expectations.

I see where I have judged myself in the past if I did not meet up to expectations of others.  I have come to realize that I can only do what I am able to do, as my physical body has limitations.  So I have for the most part released that form of judgement on myself.  I don’t really mind the work most of the time.  Here though, is the stress factor, of having to work so fast that I am able to make a profit, along with not making mistakes and doing a good job  – so there is fear of the future as not having enough income to support myself.  I see this as fear of my own self judgement – as the fear of loss and fear of death.  Still discontent with who I am and what I have allowed myself to become. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and memories for temporary ‘mind-highs’ - because I want to escape the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed in my world, and so I am reluctant to face the consequences I have created for myself here in each moment.   I realize that I cannot escape myself, nor does it make the situation any better when I try to escape into my mind – It only perpetuates the addiction to energy as spite.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define work as a ‘negative experience’ of myself because I fear failure, fear loss, and fear the judgement of myself and others.  In this,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing money and time, as selfish experiences of myself.  I realize that these experiences are necessary consequences that have played out in order for me to see who I am, and face myself as what I have accepted and allowed to exist here as me.  Thus it is supportive to myself and my process of understanding myself.  I realize I have to let go of the self-created idea of who I am as ‘separate’ – so that I can realize myself, as an interconnect part of my existence as a whole.
  
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough income to support myself.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the selfish desire for ‘free time’ and ‘easy money’ wherein I seek my own self interest, or seek to boost my own ego/mind system with the idea that I could be better, have a better life, and or do things that would grant me more fun and enjoyment, as well as the admiration of others.   I realize that the first and primary responsibility I have is to become absolutely self honest with myself, so that I can rid myself of all fears, greed, and selfish delusion, and so become physical, and real with myself.  This is the only way I will free myself from the anxiety of self judgement and selfish desires, and in so I will actually be able to enjoy myself for real, for the first time ever.
Actually, the only reason for my anxiety, is because I know I am not absolutely honest with myself yet, I am not here taking responsibility for myself as all in every breath yet, and so I fear that about myself, fearing that I cannot do it, based on my past fuck ups.  I fear myself, because my mind fears losing the personal experiences of the selfish energy highs in my mind.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on my past experiences of myself – condemning myself in the idea that I cannot do it, creating an image of myself that I have too many systems, my selfish desires are too strong, or that I am too weak to stand absolutely equal with myself as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the energy highs of my mind - because my mind tells me that all I will experience will be ‘negative’ or ‘neutral’ all the time – Yet I realize that this is projection of my mind, not the actuality of me here.

My mind fears that it will take so much energy just to direct my breathing all the time, thus I fear losing the idea of myself as who I have defined myself as within my mind as energy, and  so I project that fear onto another self created idea of ‘who I would be’ (negative and/or neutral) if I stop my mind and take complete responsibility for myself in every breath.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping the energy highs of the mind because my mind tells me that “I am wasting good experiences”.  This comes from the self-definition I have created myself as a ‘non-wasteful’ person, or someone who does not like to waste things, as the fear of loss, fear of self-judgement, and fear of death.  In so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the ‘positive’ energy experiences because I fear ‘wasting the experience of myself’ in the fear of loss, fear of self-judgement, and fear of death.  I also forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as ‘non-wasteful’ in the belief that I am better than others in my world who I have defined as ‘wasteful’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent life, because I feel I was never given a fair chance to understand myself, and thus I made errors that cost me myself.  I realize that this life, and this realization is my opportunity to realize myself here. 

I commit myself to take this opportunity within this life to realize myself for myself and all so that I can rid myself of the guilt, shame, anxiety and resentment that I feel towards myself.
I commit myself to face my fears within writing so that I can realize where I am not taking responsibility for myself so that I may be as effective as humanly possible without fear of judgement, loss or death.
I commit myself to realize that the situations that I face in my reality are here to support me to self-realization, and in that, I am able to stop self-judgement so that I can stand equal to my world and reality in taking responsibility for what is here as myself as all.
I commit myself to stop all mind-created ideas and projections of ‘who I would be’ should I stop the positive, negative and neutral energy experiences within myself, which I realize are the desire for selfish experiences of myself in separation from myself as my mind.

Day 109 – Hello From The Summit of Mount Stupid!

I cannot stop the killing, torture, destruction, and wars of the military system.

Nor can I stop the bullying, harassment ,and abuse of the justice and legal systems.

Nor can I stop the corruption, abuse of power, and coercion of the political system.

Nor can I stop the lies, deception and distortion of the media system.

Nor can I stop the programming, conditioning and cloning of the education systems.

Nor can I prove to you how these systems are in fact abusive to life, each must see for themselves.  Though it ought to be blatantly obvious…  it is not, simply because we have allowed ourselves to become such ‘willing’ and ‘obedient’ slaves to the system - in our stupid and selfish desire to be better than each other, and our foolish fear for our own survival.

Selfish, Fearful and Foolish. 

Ahhh…  apparently this is what our ‘great evolution’ has taken us to.  Is it actually possible, for us to become any more retarded? No…,  we have in fact arrived, at the epitome of retardation and denial.  We are at the highest peak, the absolute summit, of Mount Stupid.  We cannot possibly get any higher on this baby. 

Now consider there are those in our world claiming to be wise and intelligent…  “Look how Smart I am…Here at the summit of Mount Stupidity!!!”  Wohoo… Who’s got a calculator?  Can we check the elevation…?

Those esteeming themselves to be of High ‘Moral fibre’… “Look how Right I am, on top of Wrong Mountain!!!  Please, someone take a picture…!

Those flaunting their ‘Goodness’… “Look how Good I am, on top of Mount Evil..!!!  Its times like this, we all benefit from a sudden gust of wind…

Those claiming to be ‘strong’ and/or ‘in shape’… “Look how strong I am… Whoa, check out them biceps…” atop Mount Weakness!!!  Did you really climb the whole way, or did you take the ego-lift?

Within the acceptance of myself as irresponsible to my world, and in my irresponsibility to see myself for who I really am as an Equal, and in simple common sense stand for what is best for all life, I have diminished myself and allowed myself and become subject to, and enslaved to foolishness.  In this system, I am literally forced to waste time and energy doing futile and senseless jobs that do not support life, but only boost peoples ego’s… so that I can make money, so that I can survive…?

WTF#!%^&!

Jesus said (Not that he was special, though some people choose to believe so, he did for the most part, understand Equality) “If you have love, you can say unto this mountain, “be thou removed and cast into the sea, and it would be done” ”.  In other words, if you cannot move a mountain, your ‘love’ is not real.  

It is only when we stand together, undivided, as Equals, Equal to the physical reality, that we can remove the mountains of Selfish Ego we have all created within ourselves, and the world as a whole.  From that starting point of Equality and Oneness, we can create Life free from the enslavement of systems, which only serve to divide, kill and destroy ourselves.  Join the Desteni I Process and see who you really are for the first time in your life.  Or, take the Free course DIP Lite, and Support an Equal Money System. www.Equalmoney.org

Day 93 - Tarot Self-Reflection Part 2

Note:  I do not promote Tarot as a tool unless one fully understand the fundamental principles of Equality.

The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Six of Pentacles (Success): A time of prosperity and profit. Success and generosity in material things. Power and influence turned to noble pursuits. Philanthropy, and the balancing of physical and spiritual life. May suggest gifts or aid to one in need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort and relaxation as when I have a feeling that things are going OK with myself.  This is my acceptance of myself through false perception - seeing myself as separate, unfocused and neglecting the rest of myself as if it were not my responsibility.  I realize that I have programmed my whole life around avoiding responsibility to myself and the rest of existence, avoiding anything that would appear to threaten my 'mindset' in a  attempting to 'just survive and be content' - trying to save myself from the evil of the world in false humility.  I realize that I have allowed these programs to run in my subconscious mind as subtle self-beliefs that I am right and doing the right things, the best I can, and that is the only way I know how to be happy - for myself in self-interest of course, without considering who I actually am as Equal to my world and reality. Its fucking amazing how I understand this and have seen and understood the point before, but completely forgotten.  I realize I have to look at the point from all angles and walk it from every perspective I have created so that I can stop the entire program.

I commit myself to GIVE all that I have and all that I am to Life.



The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Seven of Cups (Temptation): Daydreams and things seen in the glass of contemplation. The scattering of energies by strong desires and unrealistic goals. The pursuit of illusions and the dissipation of energy on false choices. Intoxication, delirium, and hallucination, leading to the negation of effort. Under rare and extreme circumstances, may indicate the revelation of transcendental spiritual truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue illusions as memories and fantasies of my mind which allow me to temporarily feel better about myself in the illusion of separation.  I realize that I have allowed myself to be drawn into the mind out of feelings of discontentment (as fear of missing/losing out on an experience - which in turn is based on the fear that I will never get another chance to have such an experience/fear of aging) and desire for experiences as good feelings for my self in self interest as false perception.  I realize that this is the trap in which I feel I deserve a certain type of experience based on comparison and self-pity, which is not real because my ideas of comparison are based on false perception of myself and the other - as seen through the eyes of the mind system, not actually seeing the whole picture of myself as who I really am and who others really are.

I commit myself to see myself as Equal and One, and NOT through the eyes of the mind.

I commit myself to realize that if I don't apply myself within my application, I can be - and am not above being - seduced by the subtlety of the mind.

The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. Eight of Wands (Swiftness): A sudden release of raw power, cutting through confusion and indecision, and setting things in motion. Rapid progress towards a desired goal, brought about by immediate and decisive action. Boldness and daring in love, business, travel, or spiritual growth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself within the belief that I cannot stop myself when being seduced into a desire for an experience or to entertain a memory in my mind. I realize that the mind does not want to give up on its desire for experience thus I am accepting and allowing the mind to dictate its desire without seeing the starting point of the desire and how it compromises me.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the excuses and justifications of the mind as the suggestions of - fear of loss of the experience - if I stop the desire for the experience and direct myself.  In so, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to fear of loss of the experience as suggested by the mind and so give up on myself.  I realize I need to stop myself and breathe within these situations so that I can understand the starting point and what and why such experiences are transpiring - as showing me what I have accepted and allowed myself to become so that I can change myself to live what is Best for All, despite the fact that it appears I will suffer if I 'lose' the opportunity to experience myself in selfish desire.

I commit myself to stop myself and take directive principle in all situations.

The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. The Magician, when reversed: Trickery, demagoguery, and artful deceptions. The use of knowledge and skill for selfish gain or destructive purposes. The abuse of technology. Incompetence and uncertainty. A lack of will power. A fatal flaw in a great work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-will to the mind of desires and selfish gain.

I commit myself to realize when I am being directed and controlled by the mind as selfish desire, and when I am living as directive principle of myself. 

The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Seven of Wands (Valor): Standing courageously for your beliefs in the face of adversity. Fear of failure overcome by the will to succeed. Great obstacles met with heroism and determination. Inner strength brought to bear at a critical moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in the character I have created as VALOR/BRAVE/COURAGEOUS.  I realize that within this character I believe myself to be 'better than' others as a hero, which only causes me to go into guilt because it is not by VALOR as a character that I become life, it is through self-honesty as seeing myself as Equal and taking responsibility - any ideas of myself as better than due to characterization are of the mind and delusion.

I commit myself to realize myself as Equal, and that no character traits are able to assist me in any way.

The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Two of Cups (Love), when reversed: Instability in romance, friendship, or business. A deep infatuation that excludes existing friends. A false promise or premature commitment. The entanglement of male and female interpreted in the broadest sense. The profaning of the sacred through the introduction of base desire. Folly, depletion, and waste. May suggest conflict, divorce, or a severing of ties.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I see desires within myself, embrace the experience rather than fear or try to hide from it, so that I can see the starting point of what I have already created within myself and deconstruct the point.  In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into self-judgement when I see a point of desire within myself.

I commit myself to live self-forgiveness, as there is no other way to live.

The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Nine of Wands (Strength): A pause in the current struggle to ready oneself. Preparation to meet the final conclusive onslaught. Forces assembled in anticipation of trials and tribulations. The steeling of the will to stand or fall. A line drawn in the sand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within the character of 'strength' and 'being strong'.  I realize that the strength character attribute creates weakness within myself as I am attempting to validate myself as 'being strong' as a character.  Obviously within comparing myself to the physical my apparent strength is virtually non-existent and a pathetic joke which deludes me and prevents me from realizing myself as Equal to and as the physical.

I commit myself to realize that there is a deadline and so I commit myself to realize myself in this life

The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Knight of Cups, when reversed: The dark essence of water behaving as fire, such as a flash flood: Deceptive charm in the service of intense insecurity and rapidly shifting moods. Selfishness, indolence, and a complete lack of maturity. Misguided idealism divorced from practicality. Destructive romantic passions and infidelity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by my mind as belief through the justification of 'if I could only get some help' or 'I need something/ outside myself' and so allow that justification to go unchecked and lead me into thoughts/desires which accumulate and ultimately lead me into a situation where I am acting in self-interest.

I commit myself to see past appearances as what may appear to be helpful, may actually be harmful through subjecting myself to unnecessary consequence.

The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Page of Pentacles, when reversed: The dark essence of earth, such as a chasm: Unfavorable news about business, finance, or the physical world. One who delights in all forms of luxury and physical excess, leaving practical matters unattended. Irrationality and failure to recognize obvious facts, coupled with a poor work ethic. Wastefulness, lack of focus, and loss. May portend the loss of a job or promotion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear working as fear of having to do things that I perceive to be negative experiences.

I commit myself to realize that it is in facing my perceived fears I am able to transcend limitations and false perceptions within my mind and so expand myself.

The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Five of Swords (Defeat), when reversed: Refusing to achieve success through personal degradation. Friendship maintained through the abandonment of a dishonorable gain. Slander and infamy avoided.

The outcome is Equality

Day 91 - Williams 7yr Journey to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to complete my process because I have not yet been able to direct every breath, as me fearing the future outcome based on the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condemn myself through self-judgement and the belief that I cannot change myself or my situation no matter how hard I try to apply myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that this process be over and I could just wake up and everyone would be standing as Equals as heaven on earth. In this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to 'skip steps' as if I am searching for a shortcut to some place I have defined in separation from what is here. I realize there is no shortcut to life, as all that is here as me must be considered, deconstructed, redefined, and walked into Equality and Oneness.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to the idea that I am stuck.  I realize that the mind is stuck in self-interest as self-limitation, therefore I am stuck is but a false perception of who I am here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of powerlessness.  I realize that the idea that I am powerless is of the mind and actually a reflection of how I am giving my power away through the belief that I am stuck or trapped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire everything to be easy for myself when easy is not what is here.  Life would be easy if we all stood as Equals, yet we have made our situation appear difficult due to separation and perceptions, simply due to our collective denial of responsibility to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fear when things appear difficult.  I realize difficulty is of the mind as fearing the future and fearing for my survival as this character and thus not who I am, but a limited perceptional point of view of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to wonder about things in the desire to 'know' things as knowledge and information thinking that that will help me understand myself and be myself, when in fact knowledge of myself is only the tool with which I use to deconstruct myself so that I may stand Equal to my physical body as the physical existence in Equality here.

I commit myself to push myself in supporting and directing myself to align myself with living what is best for all in each moment.

I commit myself to constant change as self-movement, as me in the realization that I am able to change myself, integrating into and as my physical body and out of my mind of ego and abuse.

I commit myself to expose the falsehood of preprogrammed expectations of myself within 'what I think will happen' is never actually what happens, as happening is always happening here, as me birthing and changing myself so no enslavement exists within me or my world.

I commit myself to embracing what is here as me so that I can use this opportunity to Equalize myself with all of existence. 

I commit myself to change myself when times appear difficult and use those experiences as opportunities to transcend my fear of the future/fear of survival as thought projections, expectations and ideas based on my past.

I commit myself to, when and as I perceive myself to be stuck, use the opportunity to change and direct myself so that I can move myself and prove to myself that being stuck is merely a limited idea of the mind and an illusion.

I commit myself to Equalize myself in all ways so that each moment is Equally here as me and I stand in Equality as myself no matter what.

I commit myself to realize that limitation is of the mind as it attempts to fool me into the belief that I am limited and therefore cannot change or move myself.

I commit myself to stop judgements of time as I realize that time is a mechanism through which I am able to see myself and use to expose the deception that exists within my world and reality.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 87

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe 
that I have free time.  I realize that 'Free time' cannot exist - as long as I 
am enslaved to time, and the world suffers, I am not free - thus free time 
is an illusion of temporary comfort/stimulation in self-interest, waiting for 
consequences to catch up with me rather than me facing consequence 
here through creating myself as Life as what is Best for All in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself 
as breath, but rather placed my trust as a belief in a character of my past 
memories of mistakes and failures based on valuations created through my 
programmed mind.  In not trusting myself as breath, I have not trusted life, 
and so I have manifested fears based on my past accepted and allowed 
characters whom have continually misguided me. 


I realize that Self trust cannot exist outside of standing Equal to breath, as 
trusting the mind is like trusting a cloud to remain in the same shape forever. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequences, 
and so create more ill consequences for myself through my accepted and 
allowed fear of consequences, following the patterns of my upbringing and my 
parents systems which have enslaved me to fear of taking responsibility.
I realize that Confidence cannot exist outside of breath, all confidence that is 
not within breath is of the mind, which con's oneself into thinking that one can 
Con Life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of 
others who are working to place themselves in positions where they will have 
influence in the system and so be able to impact the world and change it to 
what is best for all.  I realize that this jealousy is based on fear of being 
less than others, and that my responsibility is to align myself with what is best 
for all, and so doing, I will become self-responsible and have opportunity to 
participate in supporting Equality of Life for All. 

 

I enjoy being the directive principle of myself here

I enjoy taking responsibility for who I am in each breath

I enjoy directing my breath

I enjoy the opportunity to become Life

I enjoy being here as the physical, moving myself

I enjoy facing my resistances

I enjoy the opportunities to face myself

I enjoy taking responsibility for myself

I enjoy seeing my reflection in existence so I can change myself to what is 

best for all in all ways 

I enjoy cleaning up my mess

I enjoy exposing the lie

I enjoy the fact that I have misplaced my trust and fucked up my life for the 
sole reason that I am able to correct myself so that this will not happen ever 
again. 

I enjoy the journey to nothingness, as the journey to Life as it is the only way 
to be Life

I enjoy this opportunity to share my realizations, so that all may be free from 
the illusion. 

I enjoy freeing myself from the addiction to energy 

I enjoy becoming Equal to All as the physical

I enjoy setting myself as all life free from the abuse and harm I have allowed

Day 76 - One Person Can Change The World

Reading Creations Journey to Life Day 91, I am the ONE that decides, caused me to consider my decision making.  What thought processes go into making decisions?  For myself and most people in the world today, the struggle to survive is the primary motivating factor, and for survival in the world system, we need money. Those with plenty will not be so concerned with their survival, and so be motivated by other (typically)selfish desires and fears.  So money, as fear and or greed, has become the primary motivational factor in our lives.  Is this necessary to live like this?  No, absolutely not.

The point I would like to make is, we are somewhat 'stuck' in the consequential outflow of what we have all accepted and allowed in our past decision to support a system of inequality.  This because, not everyone is willing and or able to grasp what is really happening in our world and why it is so abusive to life.

Therefore those of us that actually have come to realize the trap we have lead ourselves into, realize we have no choice and no escape from what we have created in the grand scale - and we also realize this abuse must stop.  So all we can do is to stand as a group and do what we can collectively to support Equality and Equal Money for All, yet until the majority realize this fact and also support it themselves, it will not happen.  Within this there is an interesting point.   We are actually doing something.  We have all committed ourselves in the decision to stand for Equality - For the first time in the History of the Universe. And within that decision, comes a responsibility to support ourselves, eachother, and those that are humble enough to inquire how we can change ourselves to support and become the directive principle of what is best for all.   In that there is no longer any question, no more deciding. 

Yet we are still faced with daily decisions, tasks that must get done, work, and individual responsibilities must still be taken care of.  Within this there are many decisions we can make.  It is all of these seemingly small yet connected decisions that must be directed in common sense to support Equality.  The way to be sure that our decisions are supporting equality is through being honest with ourselves and our participation.  As we push ourselves to walk breath by breath and step by step, we see opportunities to share ourselves and our realizations such as I am doing now within this blog.  I am assisting those who realize their responsibility to life as a whole, and that the only way to solve the massive problems within ourselves and our world is through supporting one another as Equals. 

I had to push through resistances to write this blog tonight... I did not want to do it, I made the decision to do it for Equality, because I know that in supporting others, I will in turn be supported.  That is what we are creating life to become - that of giving as you would like to receive.  So in order to create that, we must change ourselves from self-interested beings, which takes considerable effort. I do not physically see the outflow or effect I am having, I trust that which I am absolutely certain of, which is the fact that I share this world and reality with others, and if I do not assist others to realize this, I am not taking responsibility for others as myself. 

Lets stop being ruled by senseless fears, beliefs and greed.  Lets make the decision once and for all, to change ourselves for real to create a world that actually is best for all.  Lets make the decision to make the effort to get real with ourselves so we can stop the abuse of a corrupt money system. Join Desteni and the 7 year Journey to Life, if you have the courage to face yourself and change for real and for what is best for all. 

Day 69 - The Rebel

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe the obvious deception in the world, and judge it as 'evil', in an attempt to separate myself from the world system, and in so define myself as a rebel, and 'good' as its opposite polarity, secretly thinking that I am better than the system, because I saw the inherent lies and abuse.   In seeing the system as evil in separation from myself, I decided that the best way to beat the system and stop the abuse, was for me to become a rebel and fight against it, as my personal war with the system, as a spiteful rebel against the system.  In so I claimed victory within myself in my mind, having beaten the system through not allowing it to enslave me to its ideas.  What I did not realize is that, I myself, created the system through my acceptances and allowances throughout my life and many past lives.  And so my mind-victory was in vain, as it did nothing to change the system to which I am still subject and enslaved to within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe the deception in the world, and judge it as 'good', in an attempt to separate myself from the world system, and in so define myself as a rebel, and 'evil' as its opposite polarity, secretly thinking that I am better than the system, because I was able to face a point of fear which others were unable to face - as the fear of defining myself as evil.  In so doing, I further perpetuated the polarity war of good vs evil, which only fueled the system I was rebelling against in my character definition of myself, and thus I actually created a war within myself in spite of myself as the system I created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly define myself as a brave and rebellious, hero character in my mind - as a positive energy experience of myself - through self-righteous judgement of the system as being evil - as a negative energy experience - without realizing that I was being irresponsible to myself as my world and reality, as, in order to address, solve and change the system, I have to stand within it and as it.  Therefore becoming the rebel character did nothing to support the actual solution to change the system as what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the actuality of myself here as a physical being.  Through my constant attempts to validate my brave, rebellious hero-character of the mind/ego, I realize that I portrayed my character as openly defiant, in thinking I was doing good by calling out perceived injustices in the system.  Yet I did not allow myself to realize, that abstaining from participating in system based functions such as the education system only put me deeper in debt to myself and life.  I realize that this abstinence, as me attempting to escape the system, in no way assisted and supported stopping the abuse of the system, but merely allowed it to persist as, hierarchical, mind-control and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate the hero character of my mind through granting him mental attributes of other hero's extracted from my memories of movies and books.  In that, I realize that the hero's in my mind were not real, but glorified, positively charged ideas I had created about what it must be like to be a real hero so that I can get glory for myself, in my war against myself, not realizing I was actually sacrificing myself as life, and the consequences of being enslaved to consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to validate my character through deliberately defining myself as 'crazy' so that I could strengthen the false perception of fearlessness as an attribute of my rebel character, and so design my character as 'free' in opposition to all the injustice represented in the system.  What I did not realize, is that in defining myself, as my  character, as 'crazy', I was enslaving myself even further, because my character was never free in any way, as it was completely make-believe within a false perception of myself as separate within my mind. In addition to that, I was clearly still dependent on the system for my survival, thus making my claim of being free based on my limited idea of myself - as a character in my mind - utterly foolish and altogether ridiculous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use activism for causes as a means whereby I can further separate myself and define my multiple characters in opposition to the system.  I realize that these attempts to judge the system is me judging myself, to which the outflow is more abuse, more war, more suffering and more deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that my perception of myself as my character, as being a brave rebel, was actually a cover for the fear I had of the system, as being too hard to understand and too powerful to stop or change.   I realize that this was a false perception that I accepted through not understanding myself as part of the system.  When I realize who I am as an equal, I can take responsibility to first understand myself, and in doing so, I can understand how the system functions and in so change myself to put myself in a position with a group that supports life, where my contribution actually supports the solution - as Equal Money for All - through a group effort, which is the only way the system can change.

I commit myself to a process of birthing myself as life in the physical, which will stop the mind system within me, which will stop supporting the polarity war of good vs evil within me, so that I can begin to understand who I am as a physical being to understand and live what it means to stand for life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand as who I am as my physical body, as taking responsibility as an Equal, and in so doing stop the characterization of myself which only deludes me further into the mind as the polarity war with myself and the system, resulting in all the raging wars in our world and reality.

I commit myself to realize who I am here through understanding my physical body, and myself within breath, so that I no longer participate in mental judgements of myself, of the system, or of others.  In so doing, I can get myself to a point of clarity, where I can actually assist and support making real, physical change within my world and reality

I commit myself to realize that in order for me to be effective and change myself and the system to that which supports life, I must stand with the group that supports life as what is best for all.  And in so doing, I can contribute my efforts which will have exponential impact through collectively assisting and supporting each other to change our world and create heaven on earth.

I commit myself to face and embrace myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, so that I may face the hidden fears and false characters I have created through cycles of the past, to no longer accept and allow any abuse of life within myself.  In that way, by accumulation factor and the equality equation of 1+1=2, we can eventually change the world system as a whole to that which supports life as what is best for all in all ways.