Day 217

Looking at an example of a point I am walking through.  I had struggled for a number of years with this point, not consecutively however.  There were times when I tried to stop the point, and did for a number of weeks only to have it return.  I did not consider the point as a priority point, so I deliberately allowed it as a means of coping with stresses in my life, as well as an emotional outlet rather than dealing with the emotions through breathing, self-forgiveness, and change.

So when recently I decided to make the point a priority, I spoke out loud, specific self-forgiveness statements on all aspects of the point I was able to see within myself.  I did this, despite the many previous failed attempts at stopping this particular point, and within the realization that it will require considerable inner fortitude to push through the resistance to change myself in this particular pattern.  So I decided I would continue with the self-forgiveness no matter what, and did so a number of times.  Seeing that I still was unable to fully push through the point - a consequence soon arose as a nausea within my physical body, which caused me some concern, thus leading to my ultimate and final decision to stop the point altogether.

My physical body had at other times shown me how this point was not supportive for me, yet I did not stop immediately. This time, there is no question, all desires are dismissed immediately because of my level of certainty and confidence within my commitment to myself.... I see no other way out. It is as if after I said the Self Forgiveness out loud, my body heard and understood exactly how to deal with the situation and decided to create a consequence to assist me to stopping myself and seeing what is going on and how. Maybe the point is not related at all to what my body is showing me, I am not fully aware either way, however I do know and realize a great sense of relief now that I have dealt with the point(s) and standing here.

Day 172 - Routine Self Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to skip my routine this morning and so not set or accomplish my goal for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my resistance to work towards getting things done that I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle of myself through drifting into states of comfort and relaxation when there were things I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect outlining and establishing specific goals for myself that need to be addressed within this current lifetime process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat moments and days differently based on energy values of how I have valued days of the week, where Monday  Tuesday  and Wednesday are negative energy experiences - Thursday and Friday are neutral energy experiences and Saturday and Sunday are positive energy experiences of myself.  I realize that all moments must be Equal and not defined within energy experiences of how I have programmed myself to feel based on days of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future consequence based on cycles of my past, and therefore repeat cycles of the past because I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the idea that I cannot transcend the past within my mind.


I commit myself to follow my morning routine as soon as I wake up and push my resistances to get things done that need to be done

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a state of comfort and relaxation - breathe, and be aware of what I am accepting and allowing within myself so that I may push through the resistance to relax in comfort so as to not allow myself to fall into the subtle trap of self-deception and self-dishonesty.

I commit myself to set my goals for the day and for my lifetime process

I commit myself to stick to my goals and my routine so that I may take responsibility for myself in supporting myself and all in self-honesty.

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself and to not allow myself to abdicate it to anyone or any situation.

I commit myself to establish self trust and communication with myself and my physical body through self-honesty so that I do not compromise myself in any situation that would cause consequences that I will end up regretting in the future.

I commit myself to know myself without question.

162 - Parental Cloning - Part 3

Throughout my years of being cloned - and cloning myself - I developed an affinity towards a particular pattern.  Although it was clearly spiteful and self-destructive in hind-sight, it is quite fascinating to now realize how I am able to use this pattern of 'giving-up' or 'self-rejection' to easily spot behavior patterns of the past which I directly need to face.  This provides keys to working my way out of my shell, or removing the bricks in the wall I constructed for myself.    

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of 'giving up' and or 'sulking' - withdrawing my participation in an attempt to sabotage myself and so make everyone feel bad, through the belief that the problem is impossible, or there is no solution but self-defeat.  I realize that I must take responsibility to stop my thoughts of self-judgment, and the corresponding emotional reactions of blame and self-pity, so that I can stand as the solution to myself and all, in bringing about a world that is Best for All in Equality.  

I also realize within this, that I must not judge or blame myself for not being able to do everything all by myself, and that I will always be more effective with the help of others.  I also realize that others may be more inclined or adept at certain tasks than I am, and in so it is not to be offended by the skills of another, but to find what skills I have to offer, as everyone has an equal and essential part to play as the whole of existence learns how to cooperate and use what is here. 

When and as I see myself going into a state of 'withdrawal', 'giving-up' or 'emotional reactions of blame or judgment' - I stop and clear my starting point to here within breath.  I recognize the pattern and change myself within the realization that I must take responsibility to direct myself in living and doing what is best for all in each moment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to differ blame onto my parents - for labeling and defining me as 'sulking', or 'suck-hole' or 'having a fit' or 'temper tantrum' in which I had the reaction of extreme inner anger at being teased, defined, belittled, and diminished - thus preventing me from actually seeing and realizing the point I actually needed to face, of what I was allowing in withdrawing myself from situations – was not helping myself or anyone, only compromising myself in anger, blame, resentment, and selfishness because things did not turn out the way I expected them to, I felt less than, and I did not understand myself as Equal to All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to words that my parents used – seeing the words as threatening, while it was my own self-judgment that allowed me to compromise myself through me resisting change and wanting to blame others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the coping mechanism of withdrawing myself - as a way of me trying to manipulate my reality, rather than actually expressing how I feel about a situation - such as me feeling left out, and so searching for, and working towards a solution where everyone and all are included.

Resistance is my assistance to dissolve the limitations of my existence.

I commit myself to investigate all confrontations where I experience a resistance or reaction within me to words someone is using to define me, and within that to clear all reactions within myself - so that I can observe myself from a non-judgmental and non-reactive state, to see if there are any points of self-dishonesty within myself that need to be addressed and aligned to change myself to living what is best for all.

I commit myself to within breath awareness, push myself to face all points of denial, judgement, or fear of facing myself so that I can learn what it is to stand for Life and change myself to become Life. 

Day 128 – Comfortable Prison

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my responsibility to myself and all within my daily application, and that there are actually things that I can accomplish that would have an effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the idea that little effect is virtually no effect, therefore not worth the effort, when in actuality a little effect is what allows me to change the larger effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I become tired in the morning that I can not push through that resistance, that the tiredness feeling will stay there all day if I do not rest.  I realize that I must physically stand up and move myself to shake it off so that I can use my time efficiently and effectively. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being uncomfortable, and so fear moving myself, being content in the temporary comfort within the mind-made prison I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift into states of consciousness, hypnotized by comfort within the belief that if I just don’t do anything, I can minimize the expense and risk, in the fear and belief that I will not accomplish anything significant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through avoiding my responsibilities to myself and all in the reluctance to move myself because I have allowed my mind to dictate to me that I would rather just relax and exist in blissful comfort, not realizing that this bubble is sure to burst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run from myself and hide in comfort, without realizing that placing myself outside my comfort zone in situations of discomfort will assist me to support myself and others in doing what is necessary to be done to support Equality of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as ‘good’ and discomfort as ‘bad’.  I realize that all situations must be faced so that all can be Equally comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be double-minded, as seeing myself desiring to have the best of both worlds, where I perceive myself to be a certain ‘good’ character walking the process, yet at the same time I have allowed energy systems to play out without fully recognizing and stopping what is happening and pushing myself through the wall of resistance within clearing my starting point and breathing. I realize that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into energetic reactions because I perceive that there is no ‘value’ in pushing myself through resistances in the morning in particular.

I commit myself to re-define comfort to taking responsibility to change myself – despite my personal desires to just drift away in relaxation – to push myself through resistances by moving myself and breath awareness, doing what is required to be done and living what is best for all in each moment. 

I commit myself to realize that to push my resistances even a little bit is not wasted effort as I begin to accumulate myself here and realize that it is not necessary to be enslaved to energy and fears.

I commit myself to push my limitations I have created in my mind, where I choose to believe what I am able to do rather than do my best and see what transpires.

I commit myself to realize that there is one world, and I must not allow myself to be enslaved to energy as the mind - as the desire for heavenly experiences of myself in selfishness and the belief that I am separate.

I commit myself to addressing every item on my to do list every day and push myself to do even more than what I believe I am able to do.

I commit myself to pushing through moments of tiredness by getting up and walking or going outside.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 34 - Pushing Resistances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself my best in every moment.  In this, I realize that at times I just want to give in to resistances if I feel tired or unmotivated - yet what I  realize is that I have been limiting myself extensively within the belief/thought that "I will not be able to push through this resistance".  Within this, I am 'keeping score' on myself within my mind as a success/fail 'valuation' where I project myself as 'having already lost' so that I may allow myself to instantly 'give in' and experience the comfort of the temporary stress release that - the mind game is temporarily over.

What I also realize in this is that, in moments where I feel resistance such as tiredness, drudgery, fear of loss, or anxiety etc. - I can stop the 'success/fail/0-1' scoring method, and instead PUSH myself within a resistance without anticipating the outcome beforehand.  If I push through completely, great - if eventually (for example with tiredness) I rest - so be it - but I do not instantly give in, but rather push myself within the resistance as best I can in each moment.  In this, I am able to transform myself and stop the 'mind game' of winning/losing within myself - and thus stop the judgement and guilt that is associated with it, because I am actively pushing my resistances to stop being enslaved to the mind system.

What often happens when I face a resistance is that, a thought/belief will emerge such as 'if I push this resistance now, it will not go away, and I will have to push it ALL DAY LONG '.  Thus the negative feeling comes up and I do not even want to push the resistance at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately because I accept and allow thoughts of 'I will not be able to push through this resistance' which limits me and tricks me into immediately give in to resistances without pushing myself at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately without pushing myself because I have placed a score/value as a win/loss or success/fail within my mind of how the outcome will be of me pushing my resistances, thus allowing myself to fall victim to judgement and guilt of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the idea that I will have to face this resistance all day long, rather than bringing myself here as breath and taking the point step by step.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my full potential by not pushing my resistances thus allowing myself to give in and diminish myself within limitations of the mind/ego/beliefs.

I commit myself to stand as self-awareness that I am able to push myself in my resistances in each moment without mind projections of success/fail/win/loss.

I commit myself to realize my full potential through pushing my resistances, as my resistances show me the way to realizing myself and aligning myself with the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to become a living example of what is best for all through pushing my resistances and transcending the limitation of beliefs and thought projections which only exist and function within the energy based system of my mind.

I commit myself to changing myself and in so changing my world as me step by step until all is Equal and life can be born for real.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 25 – Self Writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen by others as zealous, as a personality, as opposed to being an absolute equal in every way as a physical being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to appear as a 'know it all' in the fear that I will judge and/or define myself as unintelligent if I do not offer a plethora of knowledge and information as justifications to my ego/intelligence.  I realize that knowledge and information is not evil, but rather the self-condemnation through wanting to be seen as 'better than' that subverts and suppresses me into and as the polarity of 'less than' in self-judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to act, move, and speak without being the director of every action, movement and word spoken as myself.  In realizing this I find that all want or desire within myself is actually a fear of being here, in facing my responsibility to live myself to life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to haste, rush, and get through things, rather than take each moment breath by breath, step by step, word by word, in walking myself into and as equal to all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perfect in every way, in so believing perfection to be something to be attained as separate from myself, as an idea of perfection, rather than simply being my breath, and taking responsibility for myself as all of existence, consistently, point by point.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by me slowing myself down, I am able to be more direct, and specific with myself and others. Within slowing down, I can easily spot any point within myself where I am acting or speaking in want/desire of something rather than unconditional self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and in so I live self-forgiveness as me in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that what I see in others is a reflection of myself.  In realizing that reflection of myself, I can observe others, and what I see in others can assist me to discover what points of self-forgiveness are required for myself in self-honesty, and in so walk the correction in myself to align myself with what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and fear my resistances as negative in self-judgement, as opposed to trusting myself in allowing myself to face my resistances in order to change and support myself here as becoming life.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that becoming nothingness is negative and so fear nothingness as myself.  I realize that in order to change myself as all of existence, I must return to the point of origin in order to re-create/re-birth myself as Equal and One with all of existence.  I realize that there is no fear in nothingness, and neither is there any choice within this, as it is the only way to end all separation and suffering.