Day 209

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be specific enough with myself - as I acted on an idea I had, yet it did not materialize because I did not fully consider how to apply it, laying out each step in specificity before I went ahead with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the mind as the feeling of tiredness when I begin to write self forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the positively charged energetic feeling of relief as having completed a long and arduous task, and so within that allow my mind to seek another positive experience of myself as a reward.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - when I catch my mind wandering in search of the comfort of positive energy - attempt to blame myself rather than immediately apply self forgiveness and corrective application on the spot/point.  Within that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that me - seeing the starting point/corresponding consequence - and thus stopping the thought is sufficient - when in fact I must fully address each point through self forgiveness and self-correction, so that I am fully here within complete awareness and responsibility to myself and my commitment to stand in each breath as Life as what is best for all.  Me desiring/wanting a reward of comfort or relief does not relieve or solve the deception and suffering that exists in this world.

Feeling of tiredness persisted - took a walk outside and it has passed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and do too much and over step my practical responsibilities/alignment points in the belief that I can do everything by myself.  In that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of guilt for not having been as effective as possible in the past.

I commit myself to continue to push my resistances of consistently establishing and directing my breath - as the trap I have set to catch my mind before consequence is created.

I commit myself to be specific with planning my days so that I do not allow any points of justification to hide beneath good ideas or good intentions.

I commit myself  to fully realize that while my body must rest - to 'rest' as who I am is to abdicate myself to the control of the mind - is unacceptable.   I must breathe every breath as me, and stand Equal to the physical as all that is here.

Within that I realize that the times which seem more difficult to direct my breathing (typically between noon and 4pm) it is essential that I push myself specifically during these times so as to maintain consistency and continuity of my application.

Day 128 – Comfortable Prison

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my responsibility to myself and all within my daily application, and that there are actually things that I can accomplish that would have an effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the idea that little effect is virtually no effect, therefore not worth the effort, when in actuality a little effect is what allows me to change the larger effect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I become tired in the morning that I can not push through that resistance, that the tiredness feeling will stay there all day if I do not rest.  I realize that I must physically stand up and move myself to shake it off so that I can use my time efficiently and effectively. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being uncomfortable, and so fear moving myself, being content in the temporary comfort within the mind-made prison I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift into states of consciousness, hypnotized by comfort within the belief that if I just don’t do anything, I can minimize the expense and risk, in the fear and belief that I will not accomplish anything significant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through avoiding my responsibilities to myself and all in the reluctance to move myself because I have allowed my mind to dictate to me that I would rather just relax and exist in blissful comfort, not realizing that this bubble is sure to burst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run from myself and hide in comfort, without realizing that placing myself outside my comfort zone in situations of discomfort will assist me to support myself and others in doing what is necessary to be done to support Equality of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comfort as ‘good’ and discomfort as ‘bad’.  I realize that all situations must be faced so that all can be Equally comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be double-minded, as seeing myself desiring to have the best of both worlds, where I perceive myself to be a certain ‘good’ character walking the process, yet at the same time I have allowed energy systems to play out without fully recognizing and stopping what is happening and pushing myself through the wall of resistance within clearing my starting point and breathing. I realize that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into energetic reactions because I perceive that there is no ‘value’ in pushing myself through resistances in the morning in particular.

I commit myself to re-define comfort to taking responsibility to change myself – despite my personal desires to just drift away in relaxation – to push myself through resistances by moving myself and breath awareness, doing what is required to be done and living what is best for all in each moment. 

I commit myself to realize that to push my resistances even a little bit is not wasted effort as I begin to accumulate myself here and realize that it is not necessary to be enslaved to energy and fears.

I commit myself to push my limitations I have created in my mind, where I choose to believe what I am able to do rather than do my best and see what transpires.

I commit myself to realize that there is one world, and I must not allow myself to be enslaved to energy as the mind - as the desire for heavenly experiences of myself in selfishness and the belief that I am separate.

I commit myself to addressing every item on my to do list every day and push myself to do even more than what I believe I am able to do.

I commit myself to pushing through moments of tiredness by getting up and walking or going outside.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 87

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe 
that I have free time.  I realize that 'Free time' cannot exist - as long as I 
am enslaved to time, and the world suffers, I am not free - thus free time 
is an illusion of temporary comfort/stimulation in self-interest, waiting for 
consequences to catch up with me rather than me facing consequence 
here through creating myself as Life as what is Best for All in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself 
as breath, but rather placed my trust as a belief in a character of my past 
memories of mistakes and failures based on valuations created through my 
programmed mind.  In not trusting myself as breath, I have not trusted life, 
and so I have manifested fears based on my past accepted and allowed 
characters whom have continually misguided me. 


I realize that Self trust cannot exist outside of standing Equal to breath, as 
trusting the mind is like trusting a cloud to remain in the same shape forever. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequences, 
and so create more ill consequences for myself through my accepted and 
allowed fear of consequences, following the patterns of my upbringing and my 
parents systems which have enslaved me to fear of taking responsibility.
I realize that Confidence cannot exist outside of breath, all confidence that is 
not within breath is of the mind, which con's oneself into thinking that one can 
Con Life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of 
others who are working to place themselves in positions where they will have 
influence in the system and so be able to impact the world and change it to 
what is best for all.  I realize that this jealousy is based on fear of being 
less than others, and that my responsibility is to align myself with what is best 
for all, and so doing, I will become self-responsible and have opportunity to 
participate in supporting Equality of Life for All. 

 

I enjoy being the directive principle of myself here

I enjoy taking responsibility for who I am in each breath

I enjoy directing my breath

I enjoy the opportunity to become Life

I enjoy being here as the physical, moving myself

I enjoy facing my resistances

I enjoy the opportunities to face myself

I enjoy taking responsibility for myself

I enjoy seeing my reflection in existence so I can change myself to what is 

best for all in all ways 

I enjoy cleaning up my mess

I enjoy exposing the lie

I enjoy the fact that I have misplaced my trust and fucked up my life for the 
sole reason that I am able to correct myself so that this will not happen ever 
again. 

I enjoy the journey to nothingness, as the journey to Life as it is the only way 
to be Life

I enjoy this opportunity to share my realizations, so that all may be free from 
the illusion. 

I enjoy freeing myself from the addiction to energy 

I enjoy becoming Equal to All as the physical

I enjoy setting myself as all life free from the abuse and harm I have allowed