Day 203 - Decisions Decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate within uncertainty as to how I should proceed with plans.  I realize that this hesitation comes from attempting to weigh and consider all the variables to make sure I am making the best possible decision, yet at the same time I am not able to see all the outflows of decisions I make - so it is a point of standing in self-trust that whatever decision I make I can stick to it through being here as breath and adjusting the decision if necessary as I move through the point.  Too much consideration for a problem leads to frustration - in attempting to solve issues which are hypothetical and derived from 'fear of making a mistake' and therefore shows me that I am not standing in self trust and thus not moving myself as effectively as I can.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within decision making

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over analyze and over-consider problems, to the extent that I am creating infinite imaginary problems for myself and thus going into points of frustration and confusion because the problem then seems unsolvable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should have all the answers and therefore be able to make all the right decisions.  I realize within this current abusive and corrupt system there are no guarantees, which is why I am supporting myself in this process of becoming self-honest so that I can stand within absolute self-trust and absolute certainty within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset with myself for not knowing the 'right' answer 'best' or 'proper' decision beforehand.  I realize that the priority for myself is within making the decision to move myself within self-honesty, not fearing an outcome one way or another as I realize that is subjecting myself to enslavement to fear of myself and/or fear of the money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification that I do not understand or I don't know as a means of putting off making a decision for myself and moving myself within that decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the gambling game within my mind where I feel happy about myself if I made the 'right' decision and upset with myself if I made the 'wrong' decision.  I realize that each decision that I make show's me something - and so I must stop fearing to be wrong through the desire to be perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be perfect from the starting point of self-interest, where I have sought to inflate my ego/mind through the idea that I was right or that I am right or I am special in some way for being such a good decision maker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get off track when going through the decision making process.  I realize that I must consider all dimensions of a problem in an efficient and effective way so that I can move myself forward and not stagnate within uncertainty.

I commit myself to pay attention to myself within this point of decision making and move myself decisively in trusting myself and not fearing the outcome

I commit myself to step myself through the process of decision making systematically considering all dimensions and then moving myself

I commit myself to focus myself within the decision making process so that I stand by my commitment to honor Life as all decisions must align with the principle of what is best for all 

 

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 87

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe 
that I have free time.  I realize that 'Free time' cannot exist - as long as I 
am enslaved to time, and the world suffers, I am not free - thus free time 
is an illusion of temporary comfort/stimulation in self-interest, waiting for 
consequences to catch up with me rather than me facing consequence 
here through creating myself as Life as what is Best for All in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself 
as breath, but rather placed my trust as a belief in a character of my past 
memories of mistakes and failures based on valuations created through my 
programmed mind.  In not trusting myself as breath, I have not trusted life, 
and so I have manifested fears based on my past accepted and allowed 
characters whom have continually misguided me. 


I realize that Self trust cannot exist outside of standing Equal to breath, as 
trusting the mind is like trusting a cloud to remain in the same shape forever. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequences, 
and so create more ill consequences for myself through my accepted and 
allowed fear of consequences, following the patterns of my upbringing and my 
parents systems which have enslaved me to fear of taking responsibility.
I realize that Confidence cannot exist outside of breath, all confidence that is 
not within breath is of the mind, which con's oneself into thinking that one can 
Con Life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of 
others who are working to place themselves in positions where they will have 
influence in the system and so be able to impact the world and change it to 
what is best for all.  I realize that this jealousy is based on fear of being 
less than others, and that my responsibility is to align myself with what is best 
for all, and so doing, I will become self-responsible and have opportunity to 
participate in supporting Equality of Life for All. 

 

I enjoy being the directive principle of myself here

I enjoy taking responsibility for who I am in each breath

I enjoy directing my breath

I enjoy the opportunity to become Life

I enjoy being here as the physical, moving myself

I enjoy facing my resistances

I enjoy the opportunities to face myself

I enjoy taking responsibility for myself

I enjoy seeing my reflection in existence so I can change myself to what is 

best for all in all ways 

I enjoy cleaning up my mess

I enjoy exposing the lie

I enjoy the fact that I have misplaced my trust and fucked up my life for the 
sole reason that I am able to correct myself so that this will not happen ever 
again. 

I enjoy the journey to nothingness, as the journey to Life as it is the only way 
to be Life

I enjoy this opportunity to share my realizations, so that all may be free from 
the illusion. 

I enjoy freeing myself from the addiction to energy 

I enjoy becoming Equal to All as the physical

I enjoy setting myself as all life free from the abuse and harm I have allowed