Day 203 - Decisions Decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate within uncertainty as to how I should proceed with plans.  I realize that this hesitation comes from attempting to weigh and consider all the variables to make sure I am making the best possible decision, yet at the same time I am not able to see all the outflows of decisions I make - so it is a point of standing in self-trust that whatever decision I make I can stick to it through being here as breath and adjusting the decision if necessary as I move through the point.  Too much consideration for a problem leads to frustration - in attempting to solve issues which are hypothetical and derived from 'fear of making a mistake' and therefore shows me that I am not standing in self trust and thus not moving myself as effectively as I can.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within decision making

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over analyze and over-consider problems, to the extent that I am creating infinite imaginary problems for myself and thus going into points of frustration and confusion because the problem then seems unsolvable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should have all the answers and therefore be able to make all the right decisions.  I realize within this current abusive and corrupt system there are no guarantees, which is why I am supporting myself in this process of becoming self-honest so that I can stand within absolute self-trust and absolute certainty within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset with myself for not knowing the 'right' answer 'best' or 'proper' decision beforehand.  I realize that the priority for myself is within making the decision to move myself within self-honesty, not fearing an outcome one way or another as I realize that is subjecting myself to enslavement to fear of myself and/or fear of the money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification that I do not understand or I don't know as a means of putting off making a decision for myself and moving myself within that decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the gambling game within my mind where I feel happy about myself if I made the 'right' decision and upset with myself if I made the 'wrong' decision.  I realize that each decision that I make show's me something - and so I must stop fearing to be wrong through the desire to be perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be perfect from the starting point of self-interest, where I have sought to inflate my ego/mind through the idea that I was right or that I am right or I am special in some way for being such a good decision maker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get off track when going through the decision making process.  I realize that I must consider all dimensions of a problem in an efficient and effective way so that I can move myself forward and not stagnate within uncertainty.

I commit myself to pay attention to myself within this point of decision making and move myself decisively in trusting myself and not fearing the outcome

I commit myself to step myself through the process of decision making systematically considering all dimensions and then moving myself

I commit myself to focus myself within the decision making process so that I stand by my commitment to honor Life as all decisions must align with the principle of what is best for all 

 

Day 123 – Clearing the Fear in Decision Making

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions based in subtle fears, rather than slowing down,  simplifying, and analyzing all of the starting points as to why I am making the decisions I am in process of making.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand, that making decisions based in subtle fears (conscious, subconscious, or unconscious) carries with it undesirable consequences as a direct result of those decision making processes. Even though I may not be consciously aware of the fear, I am still responsible for everything that goes on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe decision making is difficult, in the fear that I will make the wrong decision.  I realize that I cannot see all possible outcomes of my decision making, therefore fretting about making a wrong decision is based in self-judgement, and thus does not support myself and others, but that of projected belief systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about decisions, based on the decisions I have made in the past - where things did not work out the way I expected.  I realize this is allowing myself to be directed and controlled by ‘fear of loss’ as ‘fear of survival’ based on our enslavement to the current money system. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about making the wrong decisions.  I realize that guilt only reflects me to myself, so that I can see myself and change myself (rather than judge and condemn myself as I have done in the past).  I simply make the decision.  If there is any guilt or judgement, I stop and check the starting points of why I made the decision to re-align myself with supporting myself in living what is best for all.

I commit myself to recognize when I am making decisions, and check the starting point of all decisions to make sure no fear or selfishness is directing me.

I commit myself to clearing my starting point before making decisions, so that I am simply here as breath when I make decisions.

I commit myself to simplify decisions based on what is necessary to be done to primarily facilitate Equality as what is best for all, and in that support myself in the process of taking responsibility to get things done.

I commit myself to enjoy decision making, as aligning enjoyment with taking responsibility within the system I have allowed to be created, so that I can change myself and the system.

I commit myself to take responsibility to direct myself within the decision making process and to embrace the fact that the money system of control is designed to induce fear.  Therefore I commit myself to not be moved by this fear, but to move myself in the simplicity of supporting myself and living what is best for all. 

Day 92 - Tarot Self Reflection

The card in the center represents the attitude you assume.
Ten of Swords (Ruin): Crushing defeat brought about by idle intellectualism divorced from reality. Sadness and desolation in the aftermath of a catastrophic and total collapse. A decisive conclusion brought about through the swift and merciless application of overwhelming force.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the attitude of defeat, as being defeated, as the mind stuck in limitation and fear of facing myself because I am embarrassed (I'm-bare-assed!) about who I am as who I have allowed myself to become - as uncertain, not knowing myself based on self-reflection from my parents, and not the hero I made myself out to be in my mind. Within this I also fear failure, as the ultimate rejection, as the rejection I felt because my parents split up when I was young and I felt rejected.

I commit myself to change my attitude of defeat to the attitude of success within creating myself as Life, by dissolving the reasons why I feel defeated and fear facing myself

Why do I not have the will to succeed, why have I given up on myself?
- Frustration
- Giving up
- Self punishment?
- Self pity?
- Blame?
- revenge?



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the pattern of Frustration leading to Self-Pity leading to Giving up as a form of Self-punishment, Blame and thus trying to get Revenge as the abdication of Self-Responsibility for what I accepted and allowed to transpire through not seeing or accepting myself as Equal to my world and reality.

I commit myself to take full responsibility for myself and my world in so that I no longer accept and allow myself to blame or punish myself, but rather direct myself in Equalizing myself to what is here and creating the solution to all as myself as Equal Responsibility for All. 



The card to the right represents the thoughts and feelings that underly your attitudes. Nine of Wands (Strength), when reversed: Delayed preparations for an impending trial. Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought. Ill health and faltering of the will.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the thoughts and feelings of weakness within giving up on myself based on my projected idea of how the situation will play out as knowledge of my past.

I commit myself to strengthen myself within breathing and preparing myself and strengthening my will to direct myself as Life and do what is necessary to be done.  I no longer accept and allow thoughts or feelings or beliefs of weakness as pathetic excuses of the mind.


The card at the top represents how your attitude is evolving and will evolve in the future. The Empress: The essence of femininity and matriarchy. Creativity, productivity, and the foundation of civilization. Initiative and practical actions that promote prosperity, comfort and luxury. Fruitfulness and motherhood.

As creating myself as Equal as Life



The card to the left represents how others perceive your attitude. The Hermit: Withdrawal from events and relationship to introspect and gather strength. Seeking the inner voice or calling upon vision from within. A need of understanding and advice, or a wise man who will offer knowing guidance. Personal experience and thoughtful temperance.

Each is Self-Responsible as Responsibility to All as Self.



The card at the bottom represents what you cannot confront or are hiding from yourself. Six of Pentacles (Success): A time of prosperity and profit. Success and generosity in material things. Power and influence turned to noble pursuits. Philanthropy, and the balancing of physical and spiritual life. May suggest gifts or aid to one in need.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot face success, as defined as me directing myself and my world as becoming the living decision to live what is Best for All. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear success and profit, as judgment based on my past programming of Self-punishment as opposed to Self-Acceptance and living Self-Forgiveness so Self can change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear debt, but rather I should use my debt as a means out of my current situation - in facing my accepted and allowed fears, fearlessly.

Day 76 - One Person Can Change The World

Reading Creations Journey to Life Day 91, I am the ONE that decides, caused me to consider my decision making.  What thought processes go into making decisions?  For myself and most people in the world today, the struggle to survive is the primary motivating factor, and for survival in the world system, we need money. Those with plenty will not be so concerned with their survival, and so be motivated by other (typically)selfish desires and fears.  So money, as fear and or greed, has become the primary motivational factor in our lives.  Is this necessary to live like this?  No, absolutely not.

The point I would like to make is, we are somewhat 'stuck' in the consequential outflow of what we have all accepted and allowed in our past decision to support a system of inequality.  This because, not everyone is willing and or able to grasp what is really happening in our world and why it is so abusive to life.

Therefore those of us that actually have come to realize the trap we have lead ourselves into, realize we have no choice and no escape from what we have created in the grand scale - and we also realize this abuse must stop.  So all we can do is to stand as a group and do what we can collectively to support Equality and Equal Money for All, yet until the majority realize this fact and also support it themselves, it will not happen.  Within this there is an interesting point.   We are actually doing something.  We have all committed ourselves in the decision to stand for Equality - For the first time in the History of the Universe. And within that decision, comes a responsibility to support ourselves, eachother, and those that are humble enough to inquire how we can change ourselves to support and become the directive principle of what is best for all.   In that there is no longer any question, no more deciding. 

Yet we are still faced with daily decisions, tasks that must get done, work, and individual responsibilities must still be taken care of.  Within this there are many decisions we can make.  It is all of these seemingly small yet connected decisions that must be directed in common sense to support Equality.  The way to be sure that our decisions are supporting equality is through being honest with ourselves and our participation.  As we push ourselves to walk breath by breath and step by step, we see opportunities to share ourselves and our realizations such as I am doing now within this blog.  I am assisting those who realize their responsibility to life as a whole, and that the only way to solve the massive problems within ourselves and our world is through supporting one another as Equals. 

I had to push through resistances to write this blog tonight... I did not want to do it, I made the decision to do it for Equality, because I know that in supporting others, I will in turn be supported.  That is what we are creating life to become - that of giving as you would like to receive.  So in order to create that, we must change ourselves from self-interested beings, which takes considerable effort. I do not physically see the outflow or effect I am having, I trust that which I am absolutely certain of, which is the fact that I share this world and reality with others, and if I do not assist others to realize this, I am not taking responsibility for others as myself. 

Lets stop being ruled by senseless fears, beliefs and greed.  Lets make the decision once and for all, to change ourselves for real to create a world that actually is best for all.  Lets make the decision to make the effort to get real with ourselves so we can stop the abuse of a corrupt money system. Join Desteni and the 7 year Journey to Life, if you have the courage to face yourself and change for real and for what is best for all.