Friday, 3 August 2012

Day 92 - Tarot Self Reflection

The card in the center represents the attitude you assume.
Ten of Swords (Ruin): Crushing defeat brought about by idle intellectualism divorced from reality. Sadness and desolation in the aftermath of a catastrophic and total collapse. A decisive conclusion brought about through the swift and merciless application of overwhelming force.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the attitude of defeat, as being defeated, as the mind stuck in limitation and fear of facing myself because I am embarrassed (I'm-bare-assed!) about who I am as who I have allowed myself to become - as uncertain, not knowing myself based on self-reflection from my parents, and not the hero I made myself out to be in my mind. Within this I also fear failure, as the ultimate rejection, as the rejection I felt because my parents split up when I was young and I felt rejected.

I commit myself to change my attitude of defeat to the attitude of success within creating myself as Life, by dissolving the reasons why I feel defeated and fear facing myself

Why do I not have the will to succeed, why have I given up on myself?
- Frustration
- Giving up
- Self punishment?
- Self pity?
- Blame?
- revenge?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the pattern of Frustration leading to Self-Pity leading to Giving up as a form of Self-punishment, Blame and thus trying to get Revenge as the abdication of Self-Responsibility for what I accepted and allowed to transpire through not seeing or accepting myself as Equal to my world and reality.

I commit myself to take full responsibility for myself and my world in so that I no longer accept and allow myself to blame or punish myself, but rather direct myself in Equalizing myself to what is here and creating the solution to all as myself as Equal Responsibility for All. 

The card to the right represents the thoughts and feelings that underly your attitudes. Nine of Wands (Strength), when reversed: Delayed preparations for an impending trial. Efforts compromised by traitors or saboteurs. The scattering of forces before the conclusive battle is fought. Ill health and faltering of the will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the thoughts and feelings of weakness within giving up on myself based on my projected idea of how the situation will play out as knowledge of my past.

I commit myself to strengthen myself within breathing and preparing myself and strengthening my will to direct myself as Life and do what is necessary to be done.  I no longer accept and allow thoughts or feelings or beliefs of weakness as pathetic excuses of the mind.

The card at the top represents how your attitude is evolving and will evolve in the future. The Empress: The essence of femininity and matriarchy. Creativity, productivity, and the foundation of civilization. Initiative and practical actions that promote prosperity, comfort and luxury. Fruitfulness and motherhood.

As creating myself as Equal as Life

The card to the left represents how others perceive your attitude. The Hermit: Withdrawal from events and relationship to introspect and gather strength. Seeking the inner voice or calling upon vision from within. A need of understanding and advice, or a wise man who will offer knowing guidance. Personal experience and thoughtful temperance.

Each is Self-Responsible as Responsibility to All as Self.

The card at the bottom represents what you cannot confront or are hiding from yourself. Six of Pentacles (Success): A time of prosperity and profit. Success and generosity in material things. Power and influence turned to noble pursuits. Philanthropy, and the balancing of physical and spiritual life. May suggest gifts or aid to one in need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot face success, as defined as me directing myself and my world as becoming the living decision to live what is Best for All. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear success and profit, as judgment based on my past programming of Self-punishment as opposed to Self-Acceptance and living Self-Forgiveness so Self can change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear debt, but rather I should use my debt as a means out of my current situation - in facing my accepted and allowed fears, fearlessly.

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