Sunday, 28 April 2013
Day 203 - Decisions Decisions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate within uncertainty as to how I should proceed with plans. I realize that this hesitation comes from attempting to weigh and consider all the variables to make sure I am making the best possible decision, yet at the same time I am not able to see all the outflows of decisions I make - so it is a point of standing in self-trust that whatever decision I make I can stick to it through being here as breath and adjusting the decision if necessary as I move through the point. Too much consideration for a problem leads to frustration - in attempting to solve issues which are hypothetical and derived from 'fear of making a mistake' and therefore shows me that I am not standing in self trust and thus not moving myself as effectively as I can.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within decision making
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over analyze and over-consider problems, to the extent that I am creating infinite imaginary problems for myself and thus going into points of frustration and confusion because the problem then seems unsolvable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should have all the answers and therefore be able to make all the right decisions. I realize within this current abusive and corrupt system there are no guarantees, which is why I am supporting myself in this process of becoming self-honest so that I can stand within absolute self-trust and absolute certainty within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset with myself for not knowing the 'right' answer 'best' or 'proper' decision beforehand. I realize that the priority for myself is within making the decision to move myself within self-honesty, not fearing an outcome one way or another as I realize that is subjecting myself to enslavement to fear of myself and/or fear of the money system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification that I do not understand or I don't know as a means of putting off making a decision for myself and moving myself within that decision.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the gambling game within my mind where I feel happy about myself if I made the 'right' decision and upset with myself if I made the 'wrong' decision. I realize that each decision that I make show's me something - and so I must stop fearing to be wrong through the desire to be perfect.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be perfect from the starting point of self-interest, where I have sought to inflate my ego/mind through the idea that I was right or that I am right or I am special in some way for being such a good decision maker.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get off track when going through the decision making process. I realize that I must consider all dimensions of a problem in an efficient and effective way so that I can move myself forward and not stagnate within uncertainty.
I commit myself to pay attention to myself within this point of decision making and move myself decisively in trusting myself and not fearing the outcome
I commit myself to step myself through the process of decision making systematically considering all dimensions and then moving myself
I commit myself to focus myself within the decision making process so that I stand by my commitment to honor Life as all decisions must align with the principle of what is best for all