Monday, 29 April 2013

Day 204

Today started off with the realization I have much more work to do on this current job than I had thought.  This has been a particular problem for me in the past where I underestimate the amount of work required to complete a job, as there is always unforeseen factors that arise throughout the job, and so end up in a situation where I don't make what I had expected to make.   I have been aware of the issue for a very long time and despite efforts to stop underestimating, the problem continues to resurface.

I am writing the point here to identify the problem for myself so that I can be more careful in considering my estimates, taking care to consider the unknown factor and not rushing myself when estimating everything that will be involved

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully consider all aspects of a job while estimating, not realizing that I will be putting myself in difficult situations in the near future due to rash and hastily made decisions that I make without full consideration of all dimensions of a job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into states of frustration while working due to
anxiety over decisions I made in the past without full consideration for what all is involved and the consequences of making poor decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the mind/ego take control of me during a situation where I did not direct myself to take a break and relax when I needed a break, and so allowed myself to try and take a short cut resulting in an error, which resulted in lost time and materials and as a result of that I allowed frustration and inner conflict to arise and possess me.  I realize that I must walk through the consequence that I create for myself and use it as a means of developing self-trust, rather than fear of a hypothetical mind-created problem.

I commit myself to write down all estimates in full so that I see clearly and exactly what needs to be done and how long it will take, as well as accounting for the unknown/unforeseen factor.

I commit myself to - when and as I see myself going into frustration due to physical tiredness - slow myself down and breath, trusting myself to work the problem out through self-forgiveness and corrective application.

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