Day 201

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to extensively limit and confine myself within the fear of god/ fear of the system - which was the reflection of me fearing myself - and so I did not allow myself opportunity to expand and find fun ways of expressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and suppress myself in fear of myself - to the extent that I feel as if I don't even know myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret 'what life is' and 'who I am' through a personality, formed through a constant barrage of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike and detest who I have created myself as, and who I have allowed myself to become.  I realize that this is in part the desire to escape consequence, as well as existing in hope that someone will walk this process for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a world so completely fucked up that expressing self-honestly sounds strange or awkward and we become uncomfortable and find it necessary and acceptable to resort to a false personality character.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see future play-outs/consequences/rewards  and so I haven't trusted myself to make critical and informed decisions about how I should direct myself in consideration for myself and others in the future.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to blame consequence for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become - as if there is an easy way to solve the problems of this world and reality.  I realize the process of changing myself can only be done breath by breath, accumulating self-honesty and self trust within myself to walk myself out of all dimensions of myself so I can be here, living what is best for all in each moment.

I commit myself to challenging my limitations of mind to see what is possible when I focus myself.

I commit myself to know myself beyond the limitations of my mind.

I commit myself to embrace myself here within the realization of my commitment to myself and my goal of becoming absolutely self-honest with myself.


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