Day 216 - Personality averts Responsibility, not Consequence

As I got out of the car, I had the thought that I would make a joke, and say that my friend should change my tire for me, since I was paying him to drive me around that day.  This manipulative personality construct suddenly manifests as a result of me 'forgetting' to direct myself in each moment.  Not taking my process seriously, but taking it too lightly an so resorting to a personality of the past.  It was not even intentional, just a joke, however my friend began helping me.  So, this point which I should have taken responsibility for myself, was passed off to another, and because I allowed it, there was consequence.

I said to my friend that he should watch the jack to make sure it is straight (as I would do if I were lifting a vehicle).  He suggested that we put a rock in front of the tire, which I never do, as I said the truck is in park anyway, which it was, yet there was some play in the gear.  Then as we lifted the truck, I noticed the jack looked uneven and suddenly I said "watch it" and the truck moved and fell off the jack, breaking the jack.  No one was hurt.  The point here is that because I did not take responsibility in the first place to do the task myself, I casually passed it off onto someone else, a problem occurred as a result of miscommunication/misunderstanding which only added to the problems I already had.

All it took was one moment of me allowing a past manipulation personality to take the place of my self-responsibility, and so go without recognizing it when it did.   I realize the jack breaking was due to the assumptions of myself within thinking that my friend would do things the way I always do them, not realizing that this is not so, and there are physical/mental communication barriers which prevent our understanding of one another.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my existence too lightly, as a personality of the past, based on me trying to escape myself and manipulate others into taking responsibility for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my process lightly without realizing that consequence will in fact manifest as soon as I pass up even the slightest responsibility to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pass off my responsibilities to another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and/or assume that others do/will do things and see things the way I do and see them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to myself in doing the things which I should do by myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through trying to manipulate another into doing something for me which I should have done myself .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to direct myself in each moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect doing self forgiveness as soon as I recognized the point of what had happened.



I commit myself to take responsibility for every thing that comes up within and as my process of taking responsibility for myself.

I commit myself to realize what my responsibilities are and so work towards expanding myself within expanding my responsibilities.



                                 

Day 207 - Consequence and Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself into a situation where I am enslaved to consequence as money, where money dictates how I experience and express myself.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped by money and by those who enforce the money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a money system to exist where life has been neglected and existence relegated to meaningless and careless actors in a horrific play of shameless ignorance and disgrace.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that consequence always existed as me, and only appears extreme and negative because I accepted and allowed myself to put it off for so long.  I realize that I must embrace consequence as myself as consequence assists me to face myself in realizing what I have done to myself and all - so that I can stop allowing abuse in myself and my world, and change to stop harmful consequence for ever.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that desire - as the desire to get or achieve - that which I have not fully taken responsibility for, creates consequences for myself and all through desiring that which is in separation and therefore does not support Life as Equality.

I commit myself to embrace consequence as embracing myself so that I can learn to change myself and stand unconditionally, no longer enslaved to systems and/or fears of the mind.

I commit myself to do what is necessary to be done in order - to create myself in what is best for all - and to stop the mind which only creates consequences of pain, suffering, and death.

I commit myself to do what must be done to support  Equal Money Capitalism and the Equal Life Foundation so that we can work together to make life worth living on this planet for Everyone.

Day 198

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a positive energy experience of myself in attempt to cover up and justify the negative energy experience of myself.  This is not to say that I should not enjoy myself, but that I must address that which my mind defines as the 'negative' experience, such as - things that I know which I must take responsibility for and act upon - and in doing so, I realize that I am doing what needs to be done to face myself as my mind-system-creation of enslavement and control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by thoughts as consciousness.  I realize that thoughts as backchat and internal conversations must be forgiven, stopped and corrected if they do not support what is best for everyone.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that fears that I have allowed in the past have integrated into my physical body - and so my responsibility is to address these fears as they surface, so that I may correct them and direct myself in a way that supports myself and is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live self forgiveness as myself in every breath as I enjoy each moment of self-movement in walking myself out of mind-control and undesirable consequences and into the process of realizing what it is to become myself for real and to become Life as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to discover myself and my full potential - which I have hidden from myself through past 'misallocated' desires based in self-interest.  I realize that the only way I can see/realize/understand myself is through self-honesty in standing Equal to myself and all that I have created myself as, here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to receive the support of others and/or support others as I would like to be supported.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste words through auto-pilot reactions, waste opportunities through unpreparedness, waste time and energy through following fears and imaginations, and waste breath through forgetting my starting point.

I commit myself to face all aspects of myself in addressing and taking responsibility to direct the negatively defined points within myself so that I may sort myself out and remove all fear associated with taking responsibility for myself and all.

I commit myself to address the backchat on any points that come up within me which do not support myself as life.

I commit myself to address and direct any and all fears that arise through my physical body within the realization that these fears are assisting me to see and understand myself.

I commit myself to live self-forgiveness as myself in each and every breath as I move myself throughout my days

I commit myself realize my full potential through walking my process of self-realization and self-movement.

I commit myself to examine all experiences where I have defined as wasteful, and use these experiences as points of correction for myself in order to perfect myself in being honest with myself.

Day 196 - Desire and Consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence, and so allow myself to be directed and controlled by that fear - to the extent that I do not move myself effectively but rather remain 'stuck' in a position of fearing the worst, in the belief that the only thing I am capable of doing or creating is more consequence.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by me being here and working out the solution to myself is the best I can do to manage consequence and stop creating more consequences for myself.

 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that facing and taking responsibility for consequence is assisting me to realize what I have accepted and allowed and therefore assisting me to become self-honest with myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to avoid consequence, as that is merely hiding from myself and not taking responsibility for what I have created myself as within this physical reality.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that my personal desires based in self-interest are self-sabotage in that they attribute a greater value to a selfish want/thought/idea in the imaginary hope of creating/experiencing something good for myself - thus creating the illusion that I am able to escape the consequences of what I am creating.  I realize that these selfish desires only create conflict within and without, because they are not what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a distance of time/space between myself and consequence in separation of myself through not being honest with myself in every moment.   I realize that the only way to stop creating consequence for myself and others in separation is to change myself here through self-forgiveness, so that I can take responsibility to prevent myself from creating anything that would potentially harm or abuse Life.  In this I also realize my responsibility to create and implement solutions to the already existing consequence that is currently playing out in myself and my world as a whole.

I commit myself to accept the reality of consequence and through the process of self-honesty face it directly.

I commit myself to bridge the gap between myself and consequence so that no separation exists between myself and the results of what I am creating.

I commit myself to stop all desires within myself which are not aligned to that which is Best for All Life.

I commit myself to create myself as the solution, managing consequence as effectively as I am able through standing Equal to myself and All in and as the physical.



 

Day 172 - Routine Self Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to skip my routine this morning and so not set or accomplish my goal for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my resistance to work towards getting things done that I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle of myself through drifting into states of comfort and relaxation when there were things I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect outlining and establishing specific goals for myself that need to be addressed within this current lifetime process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat moments and days differently based on energy values of how I have valued days of the week, where Monday  Tuesday  and Wednesday are negative energy experiences - Thursday and Friday are neutral energy experiences and Saturday and Sunday are positive energy experiences of myself.  I realize that all moments must be Equal and not defined within energy experiences of how I have programmed myself to feel based on days of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future consequence based on cycles of my past, and therefore repeat cycles of the past because I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the idea that I cannot transcend the past within my mind.


I commit myself to follow my morning routine as soon as I wake up and push my resistances to get things done that need to be done

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a state of comfort and relaxation - breathe, and be aware of what I am accepting and allowing within myself so that I may push through the resistance to relax in comfort so as to not allow myself to fall into the subtle trap of self-deception and self-dishonesty.

I commit myself to set my goals for the day and for my lifetime process

I commit myself to stick to my goals and my routine so that I may take responsibility for myself in supporting myself and all in self-honesty.

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself and to not allow myself to abdicate it to anyone or any situation.

I commit myself to establish self trust and communication with myself and my physical body through self-honesty so that I do not compromise myself in any situation that would cause consequences that I will end up regretting in the future.

I commit myself to know myself without question.

Day 95 - Pride and Vanity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Proud about things I have done in my life without realizing that pride exists in polarity to Shame and Humiliation, and as such, Pride is a false perception of myself in ignorance of the totality of myself.  I realize that Pride is an attempt to make myself appear 'better than' who I am, and so others within the mind, so that I can for a moment believe that I can escape the fear of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become - as existing completely within and as Fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Pride/Ego/Mind is what I have created, based on the interpretation of what I perceived as being myself (or no-self), as perceiving myself through and as consciousness, as a collection of defined symbols based on knowledge and information.  In so, I believed the Light to be who I am and/or who 'god' is, never realizing that this perception is in separation from the totality of myself, as the light and the darkness and all of existence, where the darkness is actually the starting point of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow Pride and Vanity to dictate my behavior, and define who I am, and in so I believed myself to be 'less than' the totality of who I am as all.  Thus in fear of diminishing, I have manifested the diminishment of myself to a collection of one dimensional ideas, definitions, perceptions, opinions, and beliefs of myself, rather than seeing, realizing, understanding and being myself here as Equal to, and One with the physical. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself from myself in and as Pride, and so making Pride the most difficult, aspect of myself to see, yet at the same time the most obvious because it is hidden in plain sight, as the very thing I was hiding myself within, and so allowing myself to think that I must achieve the highest form of Pride in the forms of happiness, love, bliss, ego, and consciousness within seeking self-gratification through energy in separation of myself as all, and therefore I manifested self-interest, greed, desire and all forms of abuse of Life as myself as All.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand the statement of Solomon in the bible "Vanity of vanities, All is vanity" which implies that even God was in Vain, and so I too feigned Vanity as myself, never realizing that the solution to Vanity was right here within in the Veins of the physical body, where All have the opportunity and are able to change to stop living in Vain, and so realize themselves as flesh and veins to become the directive principle of Life through Self Forgiveness and living what is Best for All.
 
I commit myself to realize that whenever I find myself hiding from myself, I realize I am acting within and as the deceptive character of Pride.  I realize that Pride is where I Pretend to Hide as just 'Part of the Ride' in the Van of Vanity where I am taken for a ride in my false perception/idea of Life, as opposed to taking responsibility to direct myself within and as breath. 

I commit myself to face all points of Pride within myself so that I no longer accept and allow Pride to exist as the director and controller of myself as being a slave and servant of Pride. 

I commit myself to realize the Hidden Cost and Consequence for Pride and Vanity - Shame, Humiliation, Death and Destruction of Life.

I commit myself to carefully consider the vast extent to which Pride and Vanity has been allowed to infiltrate existence through FEAR of Self, and so to not slight myself within my process through assumption and miscalculation in the great and subtle deception of Pride.

I commit myself to live what is best for me, as who I actually am as All, therefore what is Best for All is best for me.

Day 82 - Re-Constructing Consequence

Self Writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself through not prioritizing my days.

I have seen this before lol.  I have written it a number of times, yet I have not yet walked the point to completion, as I have prioritized things, and then fall back into old patterns when I forget about doing it because have not fully integrated prioritization as myself, and I believe that I am past the point.  And so consequence creeps up on me again as the point seems to be more extensive than I had perceived it to be.  My system is very adverse to prioritization, there is definitely a negative charge attached to the word, as if it would make my skin crawl. 

I have defined prioritization as 'being enslaved' where I have to follow rules.  For my whole life I have sought to bypass the rules of the system, as if this were the very key and expertise within the system - do as little as possible so i can have as much free time as possible.  So within that, the opposite charge as defined as 'freedom' - free time.  However this freedom is in self-interest.

When I don't prioritize correctly, I have taken on actual points within myself, but since they are 'out of priority', my pile continues to grow bigger.

Within this there are many supporting points/characters, such as;

- I have defined myself as a loner character, thus I have walked alone for most of my life
- I have relied on my physical strength character, and knowledge character to get by, which is typically not enough to compete with groups within the system, as there is no support when things get difficult
- I have created an efficiency character, where prioritization is based on whatever occurs, or whatever I prefer to do on any given day - thus prioritization is out the window, as I have relied on myself where I did not take into account all the facets of the mind characters.
- I have created a hope character, where I have been waiting and hoping that things would simply fall into place.
- Past situations where I had allowed the anger character are still playing out as I am still paying for the consequences rather than creating and expanding myself.
- There are still remnants of the blame character as backchat indicates.
- Within situations where I feel I have done all that I can, there is still the frustration character
- There is still the resentment for the past character, as the pattern keeps repeating.
- There is a valuation character, where the fear of losing money character keeps me from spending money because I have not made as much as I expected to and dislike being in debt.
- Within that there is another resentment character - resenting mr. Nice guy character for not charging enough money on jobs where I should have made more.
- Then when I am faced with situations, the indecisive character shows up, due to me not recognizing and correcting all these characters, but rather want to go into the blame character and the I give up character and the passify and denial characters in a never ending loop of fuckness.
- Through the passify, denial and indecisive characters, I end up with the negative energy experience as self-defeat character wanting to blame the fact that I dont have enough money to invest to expand how I would like, as I know I could be effective.
- So I go back to the resentment for the past character and ultimately self-imprisonment character as the warden of my mind prision, where I experience myself as the comfortable character who supports the fear of change and uncertainty characters.  Somewhere in the middle, there is the evade character, where when I get stuck on issues, I want to change tasks to let the problem simmer itself out for a little while.

Underlying all of that, there is the character that just wanted to live a simple, easy life - which contrasted the secret character that wants to be famous.  And of course there is still the lingering character that judged anyone who had a title, as seeing themselves as important in a position of authority in the world as evil, therefore my polar opposite spiritual and caring character avoided positions in the system that my character considered evil - through my intention to do good and be a good person character.

Lets see if I have all the characters and the entire pattern this time so I don't have to make even more rounds on this fucking bullshit merry go round.

Backchat

"If I just had money, all of these characters wouldn't be a problem". The situation as it stands is not so, therefore blaming the system will not help me here.  And there was a time where I was existing fully within the evade, fantasy and fear characters, so I am reaping the consequence of that. 

"I can't stop the consequence, its too strong for me to deal with... "

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat as internal conversation where I have created the belief as separate from myself as I cant stop the consequences of what I have created, thereby limiting myself to a belief as an idea and thought projection of myself in the future which is not best for all. 

"everything I have tried to get myself back on my feet has not been successful".

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat as memories where my mind is directing me into self suppression and self-sabotage, as keeping me enslaved to a system of self victimization.

"I wish I could win the lottery"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat as desire to win the lottery, to have the easy way out.  I realize that what I have created is my responsibility and I must face what I have allowed and walk through it so that I can realize myself and live self change for myself. 

"I hate the idea of going to kiss ass"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat as a belief system and character that hates kissing ass, I realize that within this system I must support myself, but do not have to create a character that kisses as to do so.


"Its a good thing I can write so at least I know how fucked I am"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat as the realization of fuckness, yet I do not accept and allow this knowledge to condemn me, but rather use it as a tool to assist me to direct the points that need direction in my process.

 The reality is, if I had not realized Equality through Desteni, Im almost certain I would have been in an entirely worse situation by now. The fact that I am in process does not exempt me from consequences. It only shows me how to stop creating more ill consequence.  I still have to pay up - as walking self change for myself. 


Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have walked the point of prioritization to completion, creating a prioritization character rather than continue to walk it until I have fully integrated the point into and as myself so that I become stable - financially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a loner character who is able to do everything myself.  I (at last) realize that this loner character is not effective therefore I must place myself in an environment where I have support from others, even though it may be difficult.  Either that or I make the decision to take a financial risk on investment to grow. Decision pending.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely solely on my belief in my physical strength and strength of mind to succeed.  I realize that this is not practical and that I need to find a way to get assistance or get involved with a team for support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the efficiency character.  While I have created a very efficient efficiency character, it at times goes against me and I have created  in-efficiency, in that I have allowed myself too much slack and prioritization has been neglected, and I have allowed myself to become subject to consequences of self sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and rely on the hope character.  In this I realize that hope has deserted me, as hope is not real and only produces expectations of the mind that are doomed because the expectations are based on ideas which are not physical application as dealing with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to situations in the anger character for which there are consequences which I must face.  I realize that the anger character does not support me, but is a manifestation of the blame character in that I have not fully taken responsibility to deal with my issues effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in the frustration character.  I realize that frustration does not help or assist me in any way other than to show me the point that is necessary to be dealt with.  I realize that the frustration character shows up when I have not identified characters and prioritized issues that are necessary to be dealt with.  Rather, I have forgotten about issues because I have allowed myself to procrastinate as a character, because I was uncertain as to which decision to make, because I was in fear of loss and fear of change and still relating experiences of the past to the current situation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in resentment, where I have allowed myself to fear future consequences based on past experiences rather than trusting myself to make an effective decision that would support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the fear of loss as fear of losing money.  This without realizing that if I make investments practically into my business I will have returns that will support my decision - despite the fact that some decisions have not worked in the past - does not mean I should stop making decisions in fear that they will not go as expected.  I have to take some risk in any event.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the Mr. Nice guy character, in that I have not been firm and specific enough in negotiations so that I am covered for all the work that I do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray the blame character when situations appear difficult, in fearing the future as opposed to being here and dealing with what is necessary to be dealt with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that there are too many variables when I am stuck on making a decision.  I realize that when that comes up, I can explore my options by writing down all the possibilities and from there move myself to make a decision based on my written assessment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give up because the situation appears hopeless and futile.  I realize that giving up is not an options, and that I must do what is necessary to be done in the most effective way I can manage. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the passify and denial characters, where I seek to evade responsibility within the belief that "I don't know" what to decide because there are too many variables and I believe that I am uncertain, which is used as an excuse for me not to do the work that is necessary to be done to get business going.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the indecisive character.  I realize this happens when I fail to prioritize myself properly and so create a procrastinating character in the belief that I will have time to do it later.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the self-defeat character, where I have judged my situation as too difficult to overcome and in so wanting to go back into the passify, denial and blame characters as not seeing the full extent of connected points that lead to the complete construct of characters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the pattern and so again fall into the resentment of the past character where are attached feelings of guilt and regret of missed opportunities that I did make the effort to put into perspective the starting point of what I was accepting and allowing within myself and my world.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the self-imprisonment character, where I have secluded myself in the psycho ward of my mind in trying to figure out what went wrong, but inevitably do not sort it out, because I am attempting to sort it out within my mind in which the actual starting point is easily lost and avoided in fleeting thoughts and memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray the fear of change character, where I fear that whatever situation I decide to make will not support me or will not work out.  I realize that this fear of change is limiting and suppressing me within my mind as a character and creates situations where I am unable to move myself through the point of fear of change because I have created layers of deception as beliefs for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the uncertainty character, where I do not walk self-trust here, but rather look at my past and judge myself according to my past failures in fear of failure character, because I have not sorted out the starting point of uncertainty, fear of change and indecisiveness within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the anxiety character where I exist in a thought projection of the future rather than deal with what is here and what is necessary to be done in the present.  I realize that I must plan for all eventualities so that I make sure my bases are covered within priorities.

Within this, I realize there is a point of me fearing to express myself because I had considered myself - in the past - as dishonest within myself and uncertain, because I judged myself as 'not good enough' and 'not as good as' others.  I realize that this is directly the result of the preprogramming of the mind that was designed to keep me enslaved to the idea that I was an evil character so that I would never realize myself as Equal. I realize that the judgement of myself was also due to fear of death and the pictures that flashed in my head where I would be acutely aware of in thinking that I was the creator of such pictures, and so not understanding how to stop them as myself, I rather went into self-judgement and sought to condemn myself for creating atrocities in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire things to be simple and easy in the desire to escape myself and what I have created for myself.  I realize that this is a fantasy character of the mind that only serves to comfort and energize my mind, and in so allows ill consequences to persist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be famous in my secret mind, as the polar opposite of the quiet humble character.   I realize that this desire is in self interest, selfish and does not serve what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a good person character, and in so allow myself to exist within an idea in my mind in trying to be the Houdini character  who is an escape artist of physical consequence of what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a good person character and in so perpetuate the belief system of the mind rather than actually dealing with what is necessary to be done here in changing and aligning myself with myself in the physical through writing myself out and walking the correction for myself in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by energy systems of the mind as 'mental tiredness' when writing this blog.  I realize that this is the minds attempt to get me to stop writing so I do not have to face the points within me that need to be addressed so that I can stop my mind as characters and thoughts and become effective in supporting myself and others. 





Self Commitment Statements

I commit myself to prioritizing issues in my life that need to be attended to so that I can sort out what is necessary to be done.  In that, I realize that this is a point that I really need to work on so that I can take responsibility for the primary points that need to be addressed and I can focus myself on productivity that will produce that which will support me effectively.

I commit myself use opportunities to engage others so that I may seek to get involved with a team where I can work as part of a team in supporting myself and becoming effective and expand myself and my understanding of myself and existent systems.

I commit myself to realize that I will be more effective should I be working with a team, therefore I commit myself to stop fearing myself and move myself.

I commit myself to fully consider the decisions I am making so that I do not put too much unnecessary stress on my physical body and can move effectively within making decisions.

I commit myself to rather than rely solely on myself as knowledge I have acquired realize that I can learn from others as I will also be able to assist them in understanding aspects of work as well as aspects of self realization.

I commit myself to  realize that efficiency is only a portion of being effective as myself in totality, where in becoming effective I push myself to move myself so can accumulate consistency and discipline within myself so that I do not allow myself to exist solely as part of myself.   Within that I realize that I must push resistances to move myself effectively and stop wasting time.

I commit myself to realize that hope is useless, as I must move myself and become effective, not wainting for the perfect scenario I have in my head appears to support me.  I take responsibility to support myself in what ways I am able so that I can stop being directed and controlled by the mind as fear.

I commit myself to become as effective as possible within writing and business so that I no loger accept and allow myself to create more characters that do no support life.

I commit myself to move myself and no longer allow myself to create false hope which does not support me or life in any way.

I commit myself to direct myself within breath as what is here as me, so that I do not accept and allow anger to germinate and spread within my physical body, but I direct myself to move myself within what is best for all.

I commit myself to direct myself within breath as what is here as me, so that I do not accept and allow frustration to form and develop within me as an outflow of not prioritizing and taking responsibility for what is necessary to be done in my reality.

I commit myself to take responsibility to recognize resentment when I see it within myself as looking at the past and what I have created myself as.   Within that, I commit myself to direct myself with what is here as breath so that I can accomplish that which is necessary to be done to become effective in walking my process of self realization and self change.


I commit myself to direct myself within breath as what is here as me,to no longer accept and allow the fear of loss character, but rather direct myself in self trust as what is here as me within realization that allowing fear creates fear, therefore fear does not assist me in any way.

I commit myself to realize that Mr. Nice Guy does not assist me, but rather only supports the character of the mind where I am existing within the belief that I am special and can save others through my good deeds as my belief that I am a good person.   Therefore I commit myself to assist others to realize what they have created themselves as for themselves and stop trying to take responsibility for others.

I commit myself to, rather than blaming others, take responsibility for myself so that I can change myself for myself as what is best for all so that I can stand and become effective in supporting the group that supports what is best for all .

I commit myself to stop making excuses such as there are too many variables - which only hinders my process and shows me that I am not taking my process step by step and breath by breath, but attempting to skip steps to get things done out of fear.

I commit myself to develop consistency within and as myself so that I may become effective and support myself.

I commit myself to realize that there is no such thing as giving up as there is no escape from myself here.

I commit myself to stop making excuses and face myself so that I no longer allow myself to exist within the passify and denial characters.

I commit myself to recognize when I see myself participating within the indecisive character, so that I may address the starting point as the root cause as to what I am doing to sabotage myself within my process of standing for Life.  In so I commit myself to address any points where I find myself procrastinating so that I may become effective in taking responsibility to support myself.

I commit myself to stop existing within the belief that I am defeated as a character of my mind that only wishes to suppress me and make me ineffective entirely.

I commit myself  to recognize all patterns where my mind is directing me to go back into the passify, denial and blame constructs as opposed to directing myself here within breath as the directive principle of myself.

I commit myself to stop judging myself as a failure having failed at life.  I realize that this belief system does not support life, or the process of me becoming Equal to life as my commitment to myself.

I commit myself to identify points of backchat, as these are the keys to unlocking how I am sabotaging myself within my process.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself go into moments of resentment, stop, breathe and clear my starting point to here so that I may realize what my mind is attempting to do as self-sabotage and keeping me enslaved to ideas and memories of past experiences.

I commit myself to free myself from the enslavement of the mind as self-imprisonment where I have in the past condemned myself and subject myself to self-punishment because I have defined myself as having failed myself.

I commit myself to embrace change and see it as an opportunity to move myself and align myself with the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself existing within uncertainty, write myself out, so that I may place my words in writing as visible so that I may identify any patterns that are creating uncertainty within me, so that I may become directive and eventually certain within the decisions I am making for myself as all.

I commit myself to stop fearing failure and move myself without fear of failure, fear of loss, and fear of change - but rather as self directive in doing what is necessary to be done.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself anxious, stop, breathe and clear my starting point to here so that I can address what issues are creating anxiety within me and face myself in aligning myself with what is best for all through organizing and prioritizing what is necessary to be done.

I commit myself to self-discipline, in limiting my selfish desires for relaxation and non-participation.

I commit myself to walk my self forgiveness and self-correction statements despite the spitefulness of the system which I have accepted and allowed in the past - with a clean slate from here - no longer judging and condemning myself within the realization that characters of the mind are abusive to life.


Word Redefinition

Prioritization

Dictionary definition :

1. to arrange (items to be attended to) in order of their relative importance

2. to give priority to or establish as a priority

 

 

 

Redefinition - To order myself, as self-organization.  To discipline myself so that I may accumulate an outcome for myself that does not create ill consequence but rather creates what is best for all including myself. 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a negative charge to prioritizing as organization and order where I have programmed myself to believe that this action is evil based on subjecting myself to a system of enslavement.  I realize that prioritization, order and organization are self-disciplines that I must develop for myself in order to create what is best for all, therefore the word has no charge, but rather it is essential that I create prioritization for myself so that I can become effective in walking my process of becoming self-directive and take my power back for Equality for all. 

Day 76 - One Person Can Change The World

Reading Creations Journey to Life Day 91, I am the ONE that decides, caused me to consider my decision making.  What thought processes go into making decisions?  For myself and most people in the world today, the struggle to survive is the primary motivating factor, and for survival in the world system, we need money. Those with plenty will not be so concerned with their survival, and so be motivated by other (typically)selfish desires and fears.  So money, as fear and or greed, has become the primary motivational factor in our lives.  Is this necessary to live like this?  No, absolutely not.

The point I would like to make is, we are somewhat 'stuck' in the consequential outflow of what we have all accepted and allowed in our past decision to support a system of inequality.  This because, not everyone is willing and or able to grasp what is really happening in our world and why it is so abusive to life.

Therefore those of us that actually have come to realize the trap we have lead ourselves into, realize we have no choice and no escape from what we have created in the grand scale - and we also realize this abuse must stop.  So all we can do is to stand as a group and do what we can collectively to support Equality and Equal Money for All, yet until the majority realize this fact and also support it themselves, it will not happen.  Within this there is an interesting point.   We are actually doing something.  We have all committed ourselves in the decision to stand for Equality - For the first time in the History of the Universe. And within that decision, comes a responsibility to support ourselves, eachother, and those that are humble enough to inquire how we can change ourselves to support and become the directive principle of what is best for all.   In that there is no longer any question, no more deciding. 

Yet we are still faced with daily decisions, tasks that must get done, work, and individual responsibilities must still be taken care of.  Within this there are many decisions we can make.  It is all of these seemingly small yet connected decisions that must be directed in common sense to support Equality.  The way to be sure that our decisions are supporting equality is through being honest with ourselves and our participation.  As we push ourselves to walk breath by breath and step by step, we see opportunities to share ourselves and our realizations such as I am doing now within this blog.  I am assisting those who realize their responsibility to life as a whole, and that the only way to solve the massive problems within ourselves and our world is through supporting one another as Equals. 

I had to push through resistances to write this blog tonight... I did not want to do it, I made the decision to do it for Equality, because I know that in supporting others, I will in turn be supported.  That is what we are creating life to become - that of giving as you would like to receive.  So in order to create that, we must change ourselves from self-interested beings, which takes considerable effort. I do not physically see the outflow or effect I am having, I trust that which I am absolutely certain of, which is the fact that I share this world and reality with others, and if I do not assist others to realize this, I am not taking responsibility for others as myself. 

Lets stop being ruled by senseless fears, beliefs and greed.  Lets make the decision once and for all, to change ourselves for real to create a world that actually is best for all.  Lets make the decision to make the effort to get real with ourselves so we can stop the abuse of a corrupt money system. Join Desteni and the 7 year Journey to Life, if you have the courage to face yourself and change for real and for what is best for all. 

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 56 - Time Traveling

Within my process I've become acutely aware of the ups and downs.  One day there is a feeling of up, the next its down, with even shorter intervals at times.  The most seemingly benign things can trigger ups and downs.  Something someone says, or I see a picture or something else will prompt a thought to come up, and I will reflect on it from a future perspective - as a projection, in comparing myself to someone or something - and I then create an idea of the 'best case scenario', or the 'worst case scenario'.

Thus jumping from one time dimension to another, in fear of 'what may or may not happen' in the future - all based on my past programmed thoughts and ideas.

What I really need to do is write things out immediately when they come up, that way I can trap my feelings in one dimension - here - so that I can see it and deconstruct it without the thought and feeling 'fleeing' away, only to come back at another time if it is not dealt with in the moment.

One trigger today was a picture of myself.  A thought came up that I am getting old, and so that triggered regret that I have not accomplished that which I would have liked to accomplish yet in this life - as transcending all points of self-dishonesty and standing Equal to all, here, in and as my physical body.

Another trigger further compounded the first, where I had a reaction to a perspective and judged myself as 'not being honest enough with myself yet.  This then triggered discouragement which triggered frustration, which triggered tiredness, which triggered neglect. 

Within these triggered points there also opened up other points.  I am still not living up to my expectations, and or the projected image of myself. I am desiring to be perfect in my process, yet this desire is a deception, because I am using it as a crutch, as a graven image which gives me a good feeling about myself, which I use to encourage myself - in polarity - in which case I inevitably fall into the opposite polarity of discouragement.

So it is time to drop the image so I can sort out what is here, step by step, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project an image of myself in my mind into the future based on my past so that I may manipulate myself into giving myself a good feeling and in so attempt to encourage myself within the polarity game of encouragement/discouragement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value and compare myself to the image I have constructed of myself within my mind as an idea, where I actually deny what is here and use this future projection as a point and means to blame others as 'not being as good as me', and in so compromise my self-honesty and create further consequences for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself through the image of myself I have created in my mind in fear of what others will think of me.  This also in fear of consequences that will play out instead of me being here and facing myself within writing so that I can trap and see the points in written format without them fleeing away in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the best case/worst case scenario in my mind and so react to those mind scenarios which create further cycles and time-loops within my process of self-realization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to write out points for myself as soon as I am able, so that I may see how I am hiding from myself, and so creating more cycles within which I am not being honest with myself and dealing with what is here as me, in and as the physical, moment by moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be liked or be seen as special where I have created ideas and images of myself in my mind so that I may have good feelings about myself without investigating and understanding what the outflow effect of these ideas and images will be. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be a hero in my mind where I am thinking I can, and trying to do everything by myself and so putting myself through unnecessary stress and anxiety. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to prepare myself for what points that I must face within my day and week in a structured and disciplined manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the first option that comes to mind - as opposed to having patience to explore what other opportunities are available - without unnecessarily aversion to making a decision.

I commit myself to structuring, organizing and prioritizing my days and weeks so that I may prepare myself for the points that I know I have to face within my daily participation, and so be ready to address them and deal with them appropriately in the moment.

I commit myself to physical walking of my process within breath, so that I am constantly dealing with what is here in and as my physical process.

I commit myself to face points that come up as soon as I am able so that I can deal with them before more points are triggered, and so i can stop the cycle before it starts.

I commit myself keeping my process simple through effective writing and establishing myself within and as self-trust. 



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Day 44 - Walking Unaware

I reacted to a situation today while working.  I had bought a cable that turned out to be too short so I was not able to complete the task and in realizing this, my programmed mind kicked in and directed me to say "Jesus Christ" in frustration.  I realize that by me allowing this simple point of frustration within me, I compromised myself in the mind-fear projection that I would have to go back to the store 1/2 an hour drive and get a new cable.  The customer was also standing beside me when I said this.

Later on that day, she found a suitable chain that would enable me to do the job without needing another cable.  Additionally, I did not even have time to get the job done, as I was busy working on other projects on the site.  This goes to show how my projection was not based in reality at all, but rash, unnecessary, and completely false based on my fear of having to spend the time and money to get a new cable.   This fear also came from past experiences where I have lost time and money due to situations where unanticipated circumstances arose - as they always do to test our self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in frustration to a situation based on my past experiences where I have lost money in the past.  I realize that this fear of 'not making money' is based on my programmed personality system which I am responsible to stop and change as changing myself to no longer accept and allow myself to be directed and controlled by fear and/or frustration of any kind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subject to frustration by not being aware of myself - as breath - in each moment.  As if I had fallen asleep - sleep walking, I allowed a system of frustration to infiltrate my physical body and mind-control me into doing something that I did not wish to do.  I realize that frustration is a form of demonic possession that is my responsibility to stop and not allow such situations to have an opportunity to occur in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and others through not immediately recognizing and taking responsibility to correct my actions through speaking self-forgiveness as a self-correction in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and hide from myself the fact that I had allowed myself to be controlled by a programmed energy frustration system.  When and as I see such situations occur within my walking process, I stop myself and recognize the pattern playing out in myself and correct myself so that I do not incur further consequence for myself and others through dishonesty as hiding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that what I allow within me as thought projections has consequences - regardless of my situation - I am responsible to stop any and all system mind manifestations from taking control and directing me and my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unprepared in a moment to face myself in self-honesty where I allowed myself to 'sleep walk' and so fall prey to a system energy demon of frustration so that I could see what I was allowing within myself.

I commit myself to stand aware at all times and be prepared to face myself in self-honesty so that I am ready to immediately place the correction when i recognize any movement within myself that is not self-directed.

I commit myself to catch myself at times when I am not in my breath and not directing myself moment to moment.

I commit myself to slow myself down whenever I see that I am susceptible to situations where I am not aware of myself as directing every action and outflow as to take responsibility for everything I do in absolute self-honesty

I commit myself to realize the absolute necessity of directing myself in every moment so that I do not miss myself and thus miss my opportunity to transcend and change the bullshit programming of what I have created myself as in this world.