Day 198

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a positive energy experience of myself in attempt to cover up and justify the negative energy experience of myself.  This is not to say that I should not enjoy myself, but that I must address that which my mind defines as the 'negative' experience, such as - things that I know which I must take responsibility for and act upon - and in doing so, I realize that I am doing what needs to be done to face myself as my mind-system-creation of enslavement and control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by thoughts as consciousness.  I realize that thoughts as backchat and internal conversations must be forgiven, stopped and corrected if they do not support what is best for everyone.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that fears that I have allowed in the past have integrated into my physical body - and so my responsibility is to address these fears as they surface, so that I may correct them and direct myself in a way that supports myself and is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live self forgiveness as myself in every breath as I enjoy each moment of self-movement in walking myself out of mind-control and undesirable consequences and into the process of realizing what it is to become myself for real and to become Life as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to discover myself and my full potential - which I have hidden from myself through past 'misallocated' desires based in self-interest.  I realize that the only way I can see/realize/understand myself is through self-honesty in standing Equal to myself and all that I have created myself as, here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to receive the support of others and/or support others as I would like to be supported.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste words through auto-pilot reactions, waste opportunities through unpreparedness, waste time and energy through following fears and imaginations, and waste breath through forgetting my starting point.

I commit myself to face all aspects of myself in addressing and taking responsibility to direct the negatively defined points within myself so that I may sort myself out and remove all fear associated with taking responsibility for myself and all.

I commit myself to address the backchat on any points that come up within me which do not support myself as life.

I commit myself to address and direct any and all fears that arise through my physical body within the realization that these fears are assisting me to see and understand myself.

I commit myself to live self-forgiveness as myself in each and every breath as I move myself throughout my days

I commit myself realize my full potential through walking my process of self-realization and self-movement.

I commit myself to examine all experiences where I have defined as wasteful, and use these experiences as points of correction for myself in order to perfect myself in being honest with myself.

Day 187 - Forgiving Myself

   

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the negative energy charge coming from the fear of not being able to compete with larger companies.  I realize this limitation I have imposed on myself through my mind is assisting me to change and realize what I am doing to myself through self-imposed limitations, therefore in examining this point I can see that once I drop the limited belief, I open up much more opportunity for myself to investigate other areas where I can expand myself and direct myself.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being overloaded with too much strenuous work.  I realize that this self imposed fear is leeching the enjoyment out of me!  As well, it is showing me that I have not trusted myself to be able to be here as breath, as when I am here as breath, I am acutely aware of my physical body's requirements and so am easily able to tell when my body is becoming over exhausted so that I can slow myself down – as opposed to racing against myself in submission to this fear system.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain a negative outlook based on past patterns.  I realize that this point is assisting me to change in that I must learn to forgive myself of the past and trust myself to stand here self-directed in each moment.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain a negative outlook based on 'hopeless/inescapable situation' mentality within a paranoid delusional mind-created character.  I realize that this point is assisting me to see that - allowing myself to be controlled by fear only creates self-torment, dis-functionality, stagnation and suppression of myself.  This as well as showing me that I am fully able to see the starting point and stand up to fully stop the cycle within myself, thus freeing myself from fearful mind projections.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through the feeling of being trapped in my situation/consequence.  I realize that the starting point of this fear is a thought projection from my past experiences where I have not forgiven myself, and so I have accepted and allowed myself to go into feelings of guilt.  In attempt to alleviate the consequential guilt, I accepted and allowed myself to revert to 'the easy way' or 'the path that was already chosen/created' for me within my mind as pre-programmed methods of self-punishment.  I have realized a better/the best way for myself, where self-punishment is not necessary, but rather taking responsibility to be here within and as myself in self-honesty, identifying the pattern and it's play out/consequence, forgiving myself, trusting myself, and simply walking/creating the correction.

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     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself based on the belief that I am unable to move and expand myself due to financial constraints.  I realize that this point is showing me – firstly, a fear of loss, as the fear of losing money - secondly, I am not yet trusting myself and - thirdly, I am still being controlled by fear of making mistakes as well as me being in fear of 'being punished' by myself or others for making mistakes.

Backchat dimension
“I'm in trouble” - as the phrase was commonly used when I was a child, meaning that my parents would be upset with me and I would face some form of mental/physical abuse in the form of a punishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by fear of loss, specifically of money.  I realize that this point is showing me that I have placed my trust in money as opposed to trusting myself... wups.  OK so I no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of loss as the fear of losing money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of being punished – triggered by the phrase “I'm in trouble”.  I realize that I can direct myself without punishing myself.  I also realize that if I am to be punished by an outside source which I am unable to direct or control, then it is a consequence that I have created for myself in the past which I must face to see what I have created through my acceptances and allowances, this to show me that I must stop the cycles and patterns of abuse within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes.  I realize that mistakes are showing me that the physical reality is not subject to my beliefs and expectations and that forgiveness is an essential component of Life.

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     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself resulting in a lack of personal enjoyment/fulfillment, and consequentially resulting in lack of self-motivation.  I realize that this point is showing me that suppressing myself through chasing after selfish desires is not the answer, but rather a cycle of self-delusion.  In order to transcend/break this cycle I must create for myself a way where I can enjoy sharing myself in self-honesty and assisting and supporting others to realization of the amazing awesomeness of Equality.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create internal conflict within myself as the realization of my actual potential vs system misgivings, education requirements and inflexibility.  I realize these points are showing me how many limitations I have imposed on myself through subjecting myself to negative self-image as system beliefs.  Each of these self-imposed limitations is a road map, and an opportunity for me to realize and transcend each of these false limitations through directly facing and challenging each one in order to disprove their authenticity and take authority for myself as me standing for Life.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the belief in my mind that I can temporarily sustain myself on the baseline income enough to get by.  I realize that this belief is a cover-up, showing me that I am still being controlled by, and 'living' in fear of myself.  Being controlled by fear is not living at all, it is enslavement.  Therefore I commit myself to stop being controlled by fear in any way shape or form, so that I can stop the delusion within myself and create myself as Life, as Equality.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the belief that I see no opportunity for expansion, and therefore can postpone responsibilities until an opportunity presents itself.  I realize that this point is showing me that I must create the opportunity for myself and not wait, as waiting is hoping, and hoping is not taking action.  This point again relates to fear of taking responsibility, where I have not yet fully re-defined taking responsibility for myself, as in my mind it is still related to 'being blamed' and 'having a crappy job to do'.  Therefore here...

Within the context of doing what is necessary to be done to stand for Life as Equality...

Responsibility = CREATING HEAVEN ON EARTH

Day 185 - Conflict Dream Deconstruction

Woke from a dream this morning. I was in an apartment building looking for a place to stay, having been evicted from my previous one. There were 3 to choose from and each one had its share of issues, was small and cramped and damp with many layers of paint to hide god knows what. I was searching for the landlord and ran into some guy who 'was only acting in his place' and did not take responsibility for anything. He walked backwards away from me as I inquired, holding his hands in the air in defense as if to say 'hey I just work here'. He said the real landlord would be by shortly. I then paid a visit to my relatives who lived in a nearby apartment thinking maybe I could get a better place through them somehow. They had what looked like a nice place, but not really on closer examination. I looked at this strange bundle of wires that were right near me, all clumped up. One of the wire-caps fell off, and as I tried to put it back on another cap fell off, and another. I was afraid of getting an electric shock as this big wiry mess was getting dangerous.

Looking at this dream, I see it representing a number of fears I have within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a place to stay and fear of not being satisfied with the place which I am staying at. I realize that where ever I am is where I have placed myself within allowing consequences to play out in my life through not taking responsibility for myself in dealing with what is necessary to be dealt with in self-honesty.
The man I 'met' as the substitute for the landlord representing my mind as the program acting in place of the real me, denying any responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a substitute of myself as a programmed character take the place of myself so that I could avoid my responsibility to myself and all and not have to face myself in self-honesty.

I see the clump of wires as systems and energetic conduits which have not been dealt with and I have been in fear to deal with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect dealing with systems within myself which appear hazardous. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dealing with these systems in fear of myself getting 'shocked' and/or injured. I realize that the systems must be carefully dealt with to prevent consequences.

My relative hooked me up with some girl who had a nicer place so I went to stay there with her. It turns out that all of my relatives were at war with this girl and they showed up attempting to take something back which she had apparently stolen. So here I was caught in the middle of this big fight having to choose sides, which I ended up abandoning the girl, yet not taking sides with my relatives either.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being caught in the middle of conflict and so having to take sides. In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making decisions in the fear that I will make the wrong decision. I realize that the only decision to be made is what will stand as best for everyone.

Later I found one of my relatives standing outside looking at a scene in the sky.. it was a battle with spaceships and everything. Interestingly he was using some kind of hand-device to participate in the battle. Wow I thought to myself, as he mentioned that I should check out the spaceship right behind me, which I did. I went in and investigated around, there were people inside all in chairs busy attending to duties related to the war. I went to the back of the ship and noticed a chair with a virtual reality training program. Perfect I thought, as I sat down and hooked myself up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself through participating in virtual reality in the belief that that will assist my process of standing and dealing with the actual physical reality.

I was transported to a bus, immediately as I stepped on the bus I was met by a large, aggressive man with a big gun in his hand. He was sweaty and had a military type demeanor. As I moved along toward the back of the bus I noticed all of the male passengers were soldiers who were participating in the war. Each one of them had scars on their face, some of them were well beyond repair, and some were on the verge of death. Suddenly I was thrust into battle. It was all a blur of shouting and banging noises and sure enough, I got my own scar across my face. I couldn't believe that I had been coerced into this battle. When I got back to the bus, I wanted to leave, but I knew there would be threats against me and my life. Again I was faced with the choice of taking sides. The last thing I recall is looking at the military boss and saying to him in defiance “I will take you down”. Shortly after that he was replaced by a new military boss in a fresh blue suit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame someone else for coercing me into a situation rather than me taking responsibility for whatever situation I have accepted and allowed myself to be in, and so resolve the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, rather than deal with each situation/construct/character within myself, try to fight my way out of my situation through conflict with myself. I realize that conflict is not the solution to my problems and inner battles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape the situation rather than face and deal with what I have accepted and allowed head on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act on the fear of trying to escape the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire conflict with the military boss rather than addressing the issue of how that character came to be within myself and so solving the issue through self-forgiveness and corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the creation of a new upgraded character within myself as represented by the military boss in the fresh blue suit.

I commit myself to face all the characterizations within myself and resolve the conflicting beliefs and identities and so stop the hierarchical enslavement and separation within myself through self-forgiveness and corrective application.

I commit myself to use the characters of my thoughts/feelings/emotions/ideas/beliefs/opinions in my mind to assist me to show me what needs to be changed within myself so that I can take responsibility to stand Equal to myself within and without until no separation exists.   

Day 142–Self Forgiveness on Self Denial–Dimensions

This post is a continuation from the previous day …
http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-141-self-denial-dimensions.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to controlled by fear of others whom are threatening me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to avoid uncomfortable and/or stressful situations.  I realize that these situations must be faced and sorted out through doing what is practical common sense as what is necessary to be done, not out of anger or emotion, but from the starting point of here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to cause a conflict here” – I realize this as well as all the backchat below is/are a false justifications designed by myself so that I have an excuse as to not be direct with myself and others in doing what is necessary to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “don't want to hurt anyone”. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I will talk about/deal with that later”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I would rather not deal with that right now”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to deal with that right now”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to waste my energy on describing this whole thing”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to impose my beliefs on x”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to offend x”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I deserve what I'm getting, and so I have to deal with the consequences.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “They will not understand/They don't/won't get it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “Situation x will fail”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “What if situation x happens” – playing out worst case scenarios

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “What if desire x does not happen”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to expose myself”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want person x to hate me”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want person x to think I'm using them”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want person x to be upset”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to be a bully”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I want to give others the opportunity to be responsible for themselves”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't know the answer”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I don't want to go there”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “What if I realize that I am at fault/guilty of x”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “Its easier if I just play along”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I can't wait to be alone/free of person x”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversation within my mind as “I'm not self-righteous"

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to push through the resistance to be direct with myself and others within having integrity to say what is necessary to be said in the moment, without fear of repercussions or what others might think, or how they may or may not react.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated with myself because I did not say what was necessary to be said in the moment, choosing rather to submit myself to fear of loss,  or fear of reactions from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward when confronted with others due to me fearing the awkward moment as fear of myself, fear that I am not going to be able to say what must be said, and fear of being uncomfortable in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity myself because of the negative energy connotation I have given to the experience of myself, and in so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the positive energy experience of myself through fantasizing within my mind about things that would make me happy rather than take responsibility to express myself and be here in the physical rather than imaginary realms of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what has transpired in my life, and so desire to see them suffer in my mind.  I realize that this is self dishonesty as me not taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to get an energetic high within conversing with others.  I realize that this desire is based on a personality system I have created where I have sought to avoid myself as who I am here in as a physical being, as an Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to appease others in order to avoid facing myself directly with integrity to say what is necessary to be said regardless of what the other will think of me afterwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by my mind within the reaction of tiredness, as this is the mind telling me that I am tired in order to try and avoid myself here, when I am not actually tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to slouch back or scratch my head when I am speaking with someone as a form of resistance to being here as breath in self-honesty and directly saying what is necessary to be said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot change the situation, when that is not the actuality whatsoever as I am here constantly changing and able to change myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am stuck in a situation, when that is not the case and only exists as my minds idea to keep me enslaved to self-pity and feeling down on myself .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have done everything I can do, when as long as there is inequality, there is work to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are no consequences for my actions because I do not see them immediately.  I realize that there is always consequence despite my ability to actually see it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing personal experiences of myself in self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fantasize to myself in my mind what it would be like if situation x happened in the physical.   I realize that this is an energetic experience of myself and therefore not real, but spiting myself from the physical and diminishing myself through dishonestly trying to exist in two worlds at once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will be disappointed with me or put out if I express myself in self-honesty, in so valuing others as being of ‘more value’ than myself, not seeing myself as an equal participant in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the inferior/superior polarity as well as the dominant/submissive characters based on the perception that to stand inferior is to be humble, as well as the perception that to be dominant is to be successful.  I realize this is abusive to myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will criticize me and consequently going into anger and self-punishment and self-denial.   I realize that these fears are self created self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will use my expression as leverage to gain advantage over me.  I realize that I am responsible for myself and that if I project fears, then they will materialize as a reflection of what I accept and allow in my world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself here as who I am as a physical being.  In so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others or of less value or of more value in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure as within the belief that I will have to put great effort into working with myself and others within the fear of wasting my time within the fear of failure.  I realize that failure is necessary for me to understand that things will only work when everyone works together for the common good of all – and that is the only solution.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move myself and direct myself and trust myself within the understanding of living what is best for all is the only way to live.

Self Support available at Eqafe.com

Day 73 - B-Lame excuses of the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fear of taking responsibility for myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use excuses in my mind as to why I can neglect responsibilities because of the limitations of my mind in the idea that its impossible and the belief that I am not going to be able to produce anything effective .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility to prepare myself in the morning, where as I have seen if I just allow myself to do 'whatever' I will ultimately go into frivolous activities and thus slip into a mind state of comfort and stagnation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to direct me to become obstinate, making me want to spite myself through neglect, as thinking I can escape myself in reluctance to face my responsibilities because my mind see's them as doomed to fail as being subject to the judgements of others through a corrupt money system. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I see discouragement/fear of change within my participation - realize that it is entirely a mind system and therefore stop myself through clearing my starting point to here and walking my process as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my character/personality decide what it wants to do rather than me taking authority and responsibility as my physical body to do what is best for all in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get drawn into games and not want to stop myself because I fear facing myself and the problems I am facing, and so use my time in frivolous ways.  I realize that my 'character' as my mind, makes my problems seem much bigger, profound and difficult than what they actually are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to postpone responsibilities in thinking that I have plenty of time to do it later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of guilt, and in so allow my mind to come up with reasons why I need not write myself out immediately when I see a point of my trying to escape myself here.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that things will go better tomorrow, therefore I can just relax today and not apply myself in doing something constructive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification and excuse that 'if I were busier, I would not have any problems' and so use that to blame the system for my situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in thinking I am not working hard enough and get down on myself.

I commit myself to take responsibility for myself through realizing that I cannot blame the system because I allowed it to be created this way and therefore I am responsible for changing it in whatever way I can.

I commit myself to explore my options in order to stop the limitation of my mind wherein I have thought things are a certain way which is all based on my past experiences, which creates a hypothetical 'idea' of what I will encounter if I apply myself rather than applying myself and see what happens.

I commit myself to realize that the point that I need to work on more is self-discipline so that I can be more effective in changing and aligning myself to what is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that I have already changed myself considerably, so I just need to keep pushing my resistances as much as possible. I realize that changing myself to stand absolutely equal in every way is the only thing that will remove the anxiety and falseness that exists within me as characters.

I commit myself to pay attention to triggers of system activations within myself - such as first thing when I wake up in the morning.

I commit myself  write myself a big reminder so that I will find it first thing in the morning and so remember to start the day off by clearing my starting point and some breathing exercises, realizing that I must not allow myself to be dictated by events of the previous day.

Day 48 - Change is Constant

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself.  I realize that to give up would mean that there is no opportunity for change, yet there is no such thing as giving up on myself as I am here and everything is constantly changing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the program of my past where I feel I need to punish myself.  I realize that punishing myself will not assist me in any way, but rather I need to change punishment to changing myself as self discipline - so that I can do what is necessary to be done to support myself and others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the temper tantrums of my mind direct and control me in avoiding my responsibilities to support myself and get my work done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the outcome of what will happen if I move myself in doing tasks.  I realize that this is self-sabotage and it is showing me that I have not yet developed self trust as myself here as constant and consistent moving myself and facing myself within responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate and wait till the last moment to get working on things.  I realize this reluctance to work is based in past acceptances and allowances where I only wanted to do what would give me gratification in self-interest, rather than placing myself as Equal to my world and reality in changing myself so that I could assist all as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the potential that even small changes that produce and effect that is best for all are helpful and can have great impact on my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself through allowing myself to get discouraged with myself where my mind tells me I have nothing to offer as seeing myself as useless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as useless and disregard myself through thoughts and beliefs of the mind.

I commit myself to change myself in every moment - to not accept and allow discouragement but to encourage myself in the fact that I understand myself as Equal to all, which very few understand that point in our world.

I commit myself to - when I see myself wanting to give up, stop and breathe and face my problems so that I can work them out step by step and get things done little by little.

I commit myself to self-encouragement where I can motivate myself as self-will through standing Equal to my world as the physical

Top 10 Reasons Destonians Fall in Process

We all fall at some point, so here is a list of some of the most common reasons/excuses, as well as some practical tips to get us back on our feet. If one is taking the Desteni-I-Process, I highly recommend that we ask our buddies for support when we need assistance. The forums (Desteni.org) are also a good place to write oneself out. So, if and when you fall, simply get back up, breathe, and start again.

10. The Old Ways - Whether consciously or subconsciously, in some way the systems within us still want to hold on to our 'old ways' of existing. This is an aspect of fearing to face oneself and fearing change of ourselves. Perhaps we fear the unknown of what we will become, or we second guess ourselves as what we have come to understand about ourselves. Equality is like a black hole, once you get past a certain point, you realize there is no turning back.

9. Not Understanding Points - 'Thinking' we understand but not really understanding. Research and self-introspection are our individual responsibilities. There are many articles and documents here at the desteni site to assist.

I myself struggled with the point of self-trust and self-expression for quite some time. Not trusting myself to be able to do the process, feeling overwhelmed as if I wasn't able to stop myself within the feelings of guilt, regret, anger and desires for things such as relationships. If you have not yet established self-trust, you just need to keep moving yourself, pushing your resistances, even if its just a little bit at a time. Realize that there is no such thing as giving up. Eventually you will come to a point where you are so sick of the mind games going on within yourself (as well as all the abuse within our world because of the mind) that you will find the strength and indignation to move yourself more effectively and establish stability and self-trust. Understanding it is a process that is deconstructed through time, so give yourself time and you will have time.

8. Self Punishment. This system can be from childhood from being punished as children by our parents or from bosses in work. Stop punishing yourself, it is not necessary - rather be gentle with yourself. Punishment is self-sabotage and abuse within the polarity of 'better than/less than'. Apply self-forgiveness and corrective application.

7. Laziness - as a construct of wanting to do things only in self-interest. We have to realize that process is going to be work until we get to the stage where we are standing in full awareness of ourselves as who we really are. When we are at the stage of self-perfection, doing what is best for all in all ways, process is no longer work but just self-here. Until then, we have to push ourselves and our resistances to be able to expand ourselves.

6. Not Understanding Our Responsibility - we must realize that what we do in our lives has a resonant outflow/consequence which affects everything. Either we are supporting life or we are suppressing it. This is our responsibility in walking as a group, to support life and do what is necessary to be done within the principle of what is best for all, and love thy neighbor as thyself.

5. Existing within Limitation. Limiting ourselves within our 'frame of mind' - the box. It is hard to see the limitation point if you are existing within limitation lol. Writing daily is tremendous self-support. Breathe and realize the infinite opportunity that exists in each moment as we walk our process of becoming life as unconditional, unlimited self-expression, here in every moment of breath.

4. Addiction To Energy - We must be a living example to stop our addictions which operate through energy systems in our minds. If you are in the process of stopping an energetic addiction, write about it, best not to share it openly but rather with a destonian buddy, until you are certain you have cleared the point within yourself.

3. The 'Im A Destonian' Belief System - Quite similar to a religion wherein we create an image of ourselves as wanting to appear different or special within definition - separation. This inevitably leads us to comparison and the polarity system. The outflows of this can be emotions, reactions, depression and self-judgement as well as fearing what others will think of you.

2. Guilt and Regret - Guilt is the mind showing us where we have been dishonest with ourselves in our process. Guilt is a system designed to 'weigh one down' and diminishes us if we allow it to. It does not support life, however, realize that guilt can be used as a tool to in seeing oneself and how we are accepting and allowing ourselves to compromise ourselves in our process of self-honesty and self-realization. Regret is simply holding on to the past and not applying self-forgiveness and corrective application effectively for oneself.

1. Self-Judgement - Self-judgement is a form or condemnation. This is a very common system that is essential to be looked at thoroughly through writing and applying self-forgiveness. We must understand what judgements we are placing on ourselves and others, and where they are coming from. Are they from past relationships? Parents? Siblings? Friends? Teachers? Perhaps it is an idea one has about something wherein we have created a belief and judge ourselves in comparison based on that belief/idea/perception/definition. Whatever, any judgement of self or others will only lead to self-sabotage and further cycles of enslavement. Fire the policeman in the head.