Day 73 - B-Lame excuses of the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fear of taking responsibility for myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use excuses in my mind as to why I can neglect responsibilities because of the limitations of my mind in the idea that its impossible and the belief that I am not going to be able to produce anything effective .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility to prepare myself in the morning, where as I have seen if I just allow myself to do 'whatever' I will ultimately go into frivolous activities and thus slip into a mind state of comfort and stagnation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to direct me to become obstinate, making me want to spite myself through neglect, as thinking I can escape myself in reluctance to face my responsibilities because my mind see's them as doomed to fail as being subject to the judgements of others through a corrupt money system. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I see discouragement/fear of change within my participation - realize that it is entirely a mind system and therefore stop myself through clearing my starting point to here and walking my process as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my character/personality decide what it wants to do rather than me taking authority and responsibility as my physical body to do what is best for all in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get drawn into games and not want to stop myself because I fear facing myself and the problems I am facing, and so use my time in frivolous ways.  I realize that my 'character' as my mind, makes my problems seem much bigger, profound and difficult than what they actually are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to postpone responsibilities in thinking that I have plenty of time to do it later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of guilt, and in so allow my mind to come up with reasons why I need not write myself out immediately when I see a point of my trying to escape myself here.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that things will go better tomorrow, therefore I can just relax today and not apply myself in doing something constructive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification and excuse that 'if I were busier, I would not have any problems' and so use that to blame the system for my situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in thinking I am not working hard enough and get down on myself.

I commit myself to take responsibility for myself through realizing that I cannot blame the system because I allowed it to be created this way and therefore I am responsible for changing it in whatever way I can.

I commit myself to explore my options in order to stop the limitation of my mind wherein I have thought things are a certain way which is all based on my past experiences, which creates a hypothetical 'idea' of what I will encounter if I apply myself rather than applying myself and see what happens.

I commit myself to realize that the point that I need to work on more is self-discipline so that I can be more effective in changing and aligning myself to what is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that I have already changed myself considerably, so I just need to keep pushing my resistances as much as possible. I realize that changing myself to stand absolutely equal in every way is the only thing that will remove the anxiety and falseness that exists within me as characters.

I commit myself to pay attention to triggers of system activations within myself - such as first thing when I wake up in the morning.

I commit myself  write myself a big reminder so that I will find it first thing in the morning and so remember to start the day off by clearing my starting point and some breathing exercises, realizing that I must not allow myself to be dictated by events of the previous day.