Day 193 - Daily Reflection

Looking at the extent of the deception in people and the system, it is apparent that, despite the obviousness of abuse, any attempts to provoke realization in others are largely in vain.  I say 'vain' because not only is there little recognition or realization, but also because I myself have to look at my starting point as to why I am so 'anxious' to 'preach' about Equality to others.  Why do I insist on being so 'wise' to think that I can assist anyone to realizing themselves?  It is as if I have taken the point of caring for Life and formed it into a character of myself who thinks he's got all the answers for everyone.  I recognize the pattern within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get all worked up in my mind about sharing Equality, only to entertain the vain and charitable character, and so watch my words fall into the abyss of arrogance and self-pity.

I commit myself to focus on standing for myself as my priority point, so that I may be as effective as possible at directing myself in self-honesty, and not waste my words and efforts on a fictional character of my mind.      

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in frustration towards myself because change seems to move too slowly.  I realize that this self-judgement of myself is showing me that I must continue to push through resistances to realize change as myself in each moment.

I commit myself realize that pushing through resistances is the key to change and standing up for and as myself as change in each moment - so that I may change myself and realize my ultimate goal of self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get discouraged with myself in recognizing this point within myself - where I look at my application throughout the day and see how pushing resistances appears difficult, and at times confusing - as within pushing resistances there exists some uncertainty and ambiguity.  I realize that this point is showing me that these resistances are opportunities for me to realize myself in being specific within my application, so that I can focus myself and direct myself in learning to trust myself to stand by my decisions with absolute certainty.  When and as I see my situation as difficult or confusing I slow myself down and bring myself back to breathing and doing what is necessary to be done, trusting myself that any point of dishonesty will reveal itself.

I commit myself to honor my commitment to myself in my goal of self-honesty through pushing resistances and changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in making and standing equal to my decisions as my self-movement due to past 'failure programming'.  I realize that my entire life has been taught, dictated and programmed to think and act within the success/failure construct where most experiences have been subject to failure, rejection, abandonment and criticizing, thus I accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to that very same system in an infinite loop of self-condemnation and self-judgement, ultimately creating the over-riding fear of failure.  This creates the consequence of me fearing to trust myself to make decisions and take responsibility for myself.  I realize that the process of making decisions and seeing them through to whatever end, so that I can face myself in becoming self-honest with myself.

I commit myself to recognize any fear of failure within myself and change myself to align myself with my ultimate goal of self honesty

Also within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the fear of futility - where I see my decisions as insignificant and of little value.  I realize that this point is showing me that I am still comparing myself to - and thus acting within the fear of - the money system.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to devalue myself through comparing myself with money as the value that is dictated by the system rather than valuing myself and each decision that I make as Equal to Life.

I commit myself to stand Equal to myself as the value of Life here and work to create an Equal Money System so that Life can be dignified for everyone.

Day 183 - Spite the Spite

I realized have been blaming the subconscious mind - as the layers of thought which circulate within myself and others - for holding me back in my process.  In addition to that blame, I, as my mind, created opinions and beliefs about those subconscious thoughts as a means to condemn and disqualify myself from applying myself in my process.  I could also refer to it as my judgement thoughts of the thoughts.  From those judgments/beliefs/opinions, (which I also referred to as 'passive spite') I allowed myself to be drained of my 'will' to direct myself and pursue my journey to Life - as if I were to blame others perceptions of me (and/or the mirror images in my mind) for not allowing myself to stand for Life.

Seems to be such an incredibly simple, yet subtle, point in hindsight, and the obvious solution being - to spite the spite.  Apply myself despite what others may think of me.  Apply myself despite whether or not I believe I can do it or not.  Spite the fear of not being able to do it.  Spite the judgments and beliefs I had placed on the thoughts, through not accepting and allowing myself to judge the thoughts, or be influenced by them.  Just do it regardless, without looking for approval or disapproval - because I realize it is in the best interest of everyone, not just my selfish, fearful opinion of myself.

I was trying to save myself ahahahaa...
trying to save my mind hhmmmhmmhmm...

How is it possible for fear to keep me from that which I... dare I say the 'L' word.  Yet as long as I am in separation from myself as my mind, my 'love' is not real... still only a fantasy. I have the opportunity to stand by myself, for myself, for and as All - despite my minds opinions of whether or not a belief exists as to whether or not I am able to fulfill my commitment to myself - Life can exist within and as me, I just have to become Equal to it.

Spite the Spite,
All that is not the real me,
As the real me is the physical,
And nothing more.

Then it all becomes clear,
And I can learn to direct myself,
In Common Sense as
What is Best for All of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the subconscious mind for holding me back in my process.  I realize that I accepted and allowed those thoughts, ideas and beliefs to be 'more' than me rather than standing Equal to them and realizing that it was the mind attempting to disqualify me from applying myself in my process so I would not realize who I am as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge thoughts through the mirror of my mind and  classify them as personal beliefs about myself and others and so suppress and drain my will, and prevent myself from realizing myself for who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give fear and selfish opinion precedence over the physical me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create discord within myself through allowing thoughts as judgments and beliefs to dictate to me who and what I am and/or should be, rather than me directing who I am and living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and save my mind as the judgments and fearful opinions opinions of myself.

I commit myself to Spite the Spite, and so not accept and allow the illusions, the passive spite as thoughts, judgments, and beliefs to direct and control the manifested physical reality.



 

161 - Parental Cloning Part 2

Continuing from yesterdays post - http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2013/01/160-parental-cloning-part-1.html


As children, we are dragged in all directions, attempting to keep a balance between our personal drive for fun and exploring our expression, while trying to understand and keep out of trouble with our parents and various other relationships.  I recall my parents constantly saying to me "Why don't you listen!?".  I never really understood or tried to answer that question actually, until they had repeated it about 15 times or so, then one day I decided to ask myself,... the only answer I could come up with was 'because I don't want to'.

I found it very odd that they actually expected me to enthusiastically obey and carry out their every wish - so I could be just like them?  All clean and proper all the time so I could appear presentable and in-style to others?  Looking back now, it is apparent that they thought of me as a lesser object, of which I owed them my worship and devotion. I recall being instructed to tell them 'I loved them' - how disgusting.  Whats just as disgusting is that I was too afraid to tell them what I actually thought.  Yet I had already been punished for stating how I truly felt in the past, and I deemed myself too young to fend for myself on the streets.

There were the frequent guilt trips which were mostly spoken out of frustration about total insignificant issues like shoes lying in the wrong place... Parent A "I bust my ass all day so I can put food on the table, the least you can do is..." - as if to make a person feel guilty just for being alive!  Eventually I did get a paper route of my own when I was 11 yrs old, at which time the constant nagging began to wear off for the most part.

What my parents never understood is that they were trying to impose a form of 'love' which, in their imagination was real to them, yet to the recipient of this 'love' - it is quite repulsive.  It was clear that they expected me to repay this same 'love' by having children of my own some day "Just wait till you have kids of your own... you'll see" they said, expecting I would play the same 'guilt and frustration' song and dance.  No, but thanks for all the training.  I had already taken in enough programming from them, school, church and friends to lay significant guilt trips on myself, punishing myself for reasons I didn't even understand.  This lead to many problems within self-suppression and not understanding myself, and so extensively compromising myself out of low self-esteem and a rebellious personality construct.  

I was very happy to finally move out on my own at 17, although I was facing a world which I did not understand.  I was full of dissonance within myself and without, casting myself to the mercy of the system to see if I could survive.

There is much I could rant about how much I despised my parents, however I see that they were just participants in the system I was also participating in, and had also created through my acceptances and allowances.  There is no point in blaming them, as I see how the whole system works now - one big guilt trip, disguised as 'love' so people punish themselves and others within the belief and excuse that they are 'doing it for love' and so the lucky ones remains in the semi-comfortable arms of a programmed system of  love/hate.

The real problem is that it's all fear - Fear of Self - Fear of Self-honesty - Fear of the Truth of who we are.  Its funny really... how we fear ourselves.  It would seem like that would be such an easy thing to see and transcend?  Its just me... you... here... how long will we endure this cruel game of hide and seek?

Everyone has fallen for the big delusion, so its not like anyone has to continue to feel guilty for it, especially now that we understand the solution - Self forgiveness and 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'... seeing ourselves as Equals in a shared physical reality - now there is no excuse, because once one is faced with the absolute truth of themselves, it is apparent, and inescapable, the big lie of who we are is completely exposed.  Interestingly we can deny it through a belief system, however, no belief holds water -  it is composed of an imaginary, second-hand opinion, grasped in hope that someone will verify its authenticity and make us feel better so we don't have to face our self-dishonesty and take responsibility to change ourselves.  This trap will take considerable work to get out of.

Join the Journey to Life 

Self Support at Eqafe.com

Day 145 – Embracing Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define myself and my physical body within and as consciousness as opinion based on my fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to change to give myself the enjoyment of being here without fears or self-judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own judgement of myself – projected from the past into the future - and therefore create a belief that I cannot transcend a point, thus creating myself within and as an excuse out of fear, rather than trusting myself to stand Equal within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the idea that ‘I don’t fit in’ or ‘belong’ anywhere out of fear of myself, when in fact the very idea of having to ‘fit in’ or ‘be-long’ is created in self-judgement as fear of change and fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to serve the selfish idea of who I am rather than be myself, accept myself, and embrace myself here, as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert unnecessary strain on my physical body out of fear of myself, not considering my responsibility to myself as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more than the physical body that lives in Equality with all things, and supports what is best for all life.   In so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within myself desires for energetic experiences which consume my physical body in spite of myself as all.

I commit myself to accept and embrace myself as who I am here as the physical so that I can change myself and all Life can be supported.

I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself has for a very long time been fear, as fear of myself in self-dishonesty, which I must face and change to create myself the directive principle of myself as what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to challenge myself to change the limitations I have imposed on myself and created in my mind as beliefs and opinions – to take responsibility to fully be here in each moment as breath.

I commit myself to challenge others as I would like others to challenge me – rather than submitting to and accepting a system of fear – to change, so that we can learn what it is to support each other to support Life Equally.

Day 114 – Intelligence is Fear

Fascinating, yet repulsive, how we as human beings have attributed such high value to intelligence in our world.  Yet we have deliberately neglected to realize that, this great worship of intelligence (As most believe that intelligence is the ultimate attainment in the Universe), inherently and simultaneously manifests the polar opposite – stupidity - on a massive scale.

Look in self-honesty.  If you adhere to the virtue of intelligence, as giving it ‘value’, or claim to be ‘intelligent’, do you not judge others as ‘unintelligent’… or ‘less intelligent’, and thus of ‘less value’ than yourself?  Have we ever considered who created this ‘Intelligence God’ in our minds, who judges others so that we can believe we are better, or more deserving of life?

It is really quite simple to understand.  The word Intelligence is programmed into the system and automatically given ‘high value’ so as to justify itself as real – but it is NOT REAL in any way. That is to say that, it is merely a minute perception of reality, an IDEA, an OPINION, and a LIMITED DEFINITION of what actually IS REAL.  Thus it is a FALSIFIED PERCEPTION of reality, formed out of the desire for power and control over the physical reality… and it is used to generate one thing – FEAR.

This IDEA of ‘Intelligence’ is derived from knowledge and information – which is force fed through the education system, and those who, in fear and submission, store and regurgitate the best, are given higher value.  Thus knowledge and information is manipulated and controlled for the purpose of deceiving humanity into BELIEVING the false perception of who we are.  This is done so that some beings can have power and control - while many suffer. 

We are programmed to believe this is ‘just the way it is’, and ‘it will never change’, because if we were to change, and realize ourselves for who we really are within and as the physical reality, we would never allow such deception, ever.  

We can see with our computers and information systems, knowledge and information can be broken down to a Binary system.  A combination of 1’s and 0’s, in essence, which can be arranged in a multitude of ways to produce a desired outcome.

So, why is it that we give higher/lower value to our fellow man, purely based on the configuration/or how many 1’s and 0’s ‘the system’ has attributed to them?  Especially when we have a justice system that is absolutely controlled by the very same manipulative and corrupt value system.  If you have enough 1’s and 0’s, you can literally get out of any situation.  That, is a farce. Yet that, is what we have allowed to exist. Foolishness. 

We have neglected the simplicity of living common sense as what is best for all, in favour of claiming the belief that some beings have ‘more sense’ because they have more 1’s and 0’s than others???  
Meanwhile the actual real root of the problem is fear – allowing ourselves to be controlled by the idea that we must live in, and obey Fear, and every action we take MUST be done in compliance with the ‘Great God of Fear’ - so that we can ensure our survival and the selfish energy highs of ‘good experiences’, for a limited  time.

Just look at how much we have evolved – thanks to intelligence - we have justified every possible form of cruelty, abuse, destruction, and harm imaginable, all so that we can lay claim to a selfish experience of ourselves, in absolute ignorance of what is actually happening in our world.   

Intelligence should be to support Life in common sense and living what is best for all life –  and to NOT allow ourselves to be controlled by FEAR.  How simple is that really?… It is literally a matter of 1+1=2.  

Day 113 – Dream – Condemned

I was standing outside in a parking area with trees, it was winter, and very cold.  There was a young man there, emphatically accusing me of some violation that he claimed I did.  I tried to speak to defend myself, but it was no use – no matter what I said, I knew there was absolutely nothing that I could say that would make the man consider, never mind convince him of my innocence.   His facial expression became very tense and defiant.  With closed eyes he continued raising his voice louder, yelling at me in condemnation.

The next scene was of a man in his 50’s.  He had a moustache and very stern face.  I could tell he was a very ‘cold’ person, and very set in his ways.  He did not even look at me directly, nor did he yell. He acted as if I did not exist, having the very same condemnation as the younger man.  I said nothing.  Just looking at him I could tell that In his mind I was guilty, and there was absolutely nothing that I could say that would change that, I was labelled… dead in the water, and he was going to make sure that I suffered for it. 
I returned to the scene with the younger man, as he continued to yell, a crowd formed behind him, everyone yelling in condemnation.   I felt completely helpless.

I see this dream as the nature of the system that we have created.  The consequence for what we have accepted and allowed through our ignorance and self-dishonesty.  It may have started with just a snowflake of self-dishonesty, but all the same, quietly and gently it has gathered itself and grown to become this massive consequence that is here.  The men were so resolute, showing me that the price has to be paid - until it is paid in full.  Self-forgiveness in no way lets us off the hook. We must change, face the consequences, and walk through them as living proof that we have changed, so that we never again allow such horrible consequences to play out, ever.  Self-forgiveness is the key to the door, but we have to open it and walk through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn myself, not realizing what I am doing to myself in ignorance and denial of myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a system that is absolutely negligent, and cruel beyond comprehension because it does not see itself for what it is, or realize the possibility of forgiveness and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others in the past, where I have in ignorance and selfishness, pleaded my self-righteous judgments over that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that punishment and revenge is something ‘good’ will help us change or improve the quality of life on this planet.  I realize that punishment, judgement and condemnation do nothing to solve the problems we all face, but they actually bring us all more guilt, shame and suffering.

I commit myself to assist myself and others to realize that we can change ourselves through self-forgiveness and seeing, realizing and understanding that we can live as equals without any horrible consequences that need to be paid in the future.

I commit myself to assist myself and others in the realization that Equality is the only way in which we are able to stand together within one principle that supports all life Equally, without the need of punishment, revenge, judgement or condemnation.

I commit myself to working with the one group that stands for the Solution to Life, as changing ourselves to free ourselves from this hell of enslavement to ideas as energy addictions which only serve to punish ourselves in our own greed and self-interest. 

www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org

Day 110 – Roots of Selfishness

Looking at my experiences when have allowed myself to go into thoughts and memories because I would rather not ‘be here’ as breath… typically because I am doing something I don’t want to do, such as heading to work, where fear and anxiety come up.   I want to avoid the situation, make myself feel better, disappear in to ‘my happy place’ in my mind… because I create the idea that ‘work’ is a negative experience – as it is tied to money as enslavement, as something I am forced to do.  As well I feel that I am being judged based on my performance and ability to ‘produce’ a good result based on the customers expectations.

I see where I have judged myself in the past if I did not meet up to expectations of others.  I have come to realize that I can only do what I am able to do, as my physical body has limitations.  So I have for the most part released that form of judgement on myself.  I don’t really mind the work most of the time.  Here though, is the stress factor, of having to work so fast that I am able to make a profit, along with not making mistakes and doing a good job  – so there is fear of the future as not having enough income to support myself.  I see this as fear of my own self judgement – as the fear of loss and fear of death.  Still discontent with who I am and what I have allowed myself to become. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and memories for temporary ‘mind-highs’ - because I want to escape the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed in my world, and so I am reluctant to face the consequences I have created for myself here in each moment.   I realize that I cannot escape myself, nor does it make the situation any better when I try to escape into my mind – It only perpetuates the addiction to energy as spite.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define work as a ‘negative experience’ of myself because I fear failure, fear loss, and fear the judgement of myself and others.  In this,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing money and time, as selfish experiences of myself.  I realize that these experiences are necessary consequences that have played out in order for me to see who I am, and face myself as what I have accepted and allowed to exist here as me.  Thus it is supportive to myself and my process of understanding myself.  I realize I have to let go of the self-created idea of who I am as ‘separate’ – so that I can realize myself, as an interconnect part of my existence as a whole.
  
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough income to support myself.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the selfish desire for ‘free time’ and ‘easy money’ wherein I seek my own self interest, or seek to boost my own ego/mind system with the idea that I could be better, have a better life, and or do things that would grant me more fun and enjoyment, as well as the admiration of others.   I realize that the first and primary responsibility I have is to become absolutely self honest with myself, so that I can rid myself of all fears, greed, and selfish delusion, and so become physical, and real with myself.  This is the only way I will free myself from the anxiety of self judgement and selfish desires, and in so I will actually be able to enjoy myself for real, for the first time ever.
Actually, the only reason for my anxiety, is because I know I am not absolutely honest with myself yet, I am not here taking responsibility for myself as all in every breath yet, and so I fear that about myself, fearing that I cannot do it, based on my past fuck ups.  I fear myself, because my mind fears losing the personal experiences of the selfish energy highs in my mind.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on my past experiences of myself – condemning myself in the idea that I cannot do it, creating an image of myself that I have too many systems, my selfish desires are too strong, or that I am too weak to stand absolutely equal with myself as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the energy highs of my mind - because my mind tells me that all I will experience will be ‘negative’ or ‘neutral’ all the time – Yet I realize that this is projection of my mind, not the actuality of me here.

My mind fears that it will take so much energy just to direct my breathing all the time, thus I fear losing the idea of myself as who I have defined myself as within my mind as energy, and  so I project that fear onto another self created idea of ‘who I would be’ (negative and/or neutral) if I stop my mind and take complete responsibility for myself in every breath.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping the energy highs of the mind because my mind tells me that “I am wasting good experiences”.  This comes from the self-definition I have created myself as a ‘non-wasteful’ person, or someone who does not like to waste things, as the fear of loss, fear of self-judgement, and fear of death.  In so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the ‘positive’ energy experiences because I fear ‘wasting the experience of myself’ in the fear of loss, fear of self-judgement, and fear of death.  I also forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as ‘non-wasteful’ in the belief that I am better than others in my world who I have defined as ‘wasteful’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent life, because I feel I was never given a fair chance to understand myself, and thus I made errors that cost me myself.  I realize that this life, and this realization is my opportunity to realize myself here. 

I commit myself to take this opportunity within this life to realize myself for myself and all so that I can rid myself of the guilt, shame, anxiety and resentment that I feel towards myself.
I commit myself to face my fears within writing so that I can realize where I am not taking responsibility for myself so that I may be as effective as humanly possible without fear of judgement, loss or death.
I commit myself to realize that the situations that I face in my reality are here to support me to self-realization, and in that, I am able to stop self-judgement so that I can stand equal to my world and reality in taking responsibility for what is here as myself as all.
I commit myself to stop all mind-created ideas and projections of ‘who I would be’ should I stop the positive, negative and neutral energy experiences within myself, which I realize are the desire for selfish experiences of myself in separation from myself as my mind.

Day 91 - Williams 7yr Journey to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to complete my process because I have not yet been able to direct every breath, as me fearing the future outcome based on the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condemn myself through self-judgement and the belief that I cannot change myself or my situation no matter how hard I try to apply myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that this process be over and I could just wake up and everyone would be standing as Equals as heaven on earth. In this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to 'skip steps' as if I am searching for a shortcut to some place I have defined in separation from what is here. I realize there is no shortcut to life, as all that is here as me must be considered, deconstructed, redefined, and walked into Equality and Oneness.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to the idea that I am stuck.  I realize that the mind is stuck in self-interest as self-limitation, therefore I am stuck is but a false perception of who I am here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of powerlessness.  I realize that the idea that I am powerless is of the mind and actually a reflection of how I am giving my power away through the belief that I am stuck or trapped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire everything to be easy for myself when easy is not what is here.  Life would be easy if we all stood as Equals, yet we have made our situation appear difficult due to separation and perceptions, simply due to our collective denial of responsibility to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fear when things appear difficult.  I realize difficulty is of the mind as fearing the future and fearing for my survival as this character and thus not who I am, but a limited perceptional point of view of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to wonder about things in the desire to 'know' things as knowledge and information thinking that that will help me understand myself and be myself, when in fact knowledge of myself is only the tool with which I use to deconstruct myself so that I may stand Equal to my physical body as the physical existence in Equality here.

I commit myself to push myself in supporting and directing myself to align myself with living what is best for all in each moment.

I commit myself to constant change as self-movement, as me in the realization that I am able to change myself, integrating into and as my physical body and out of my mind of ego and abuse.

I commit myself to expose the falsehood of preprogrammed expectations of myself within 'what I think will happen' is never actually what happens, as happening is always happening here, as me birthing and changing myself so no enslavement exists within me or my world.

I commit myself to embracing what is here as me so that I can use this opportunity to Equalize myself with all of existence. 

I commit myself to change myself when times appear difficult and use those experiences as opportunities to transcend my fear of the future/fear of survival as thought projections, expectations and ideas based on my past.

I commit myself to, when and as I perceive myself to be stuck, use the opportunity to change and direct myself so that I can move myself and prove to myself that being stuck is merely a limited idea of the mind and an illusion.

I commit myself to Equalize myself in all ways so that each moment is Equally here as me and I stand in Equality as myself no matter what.

I commit myself to realize that limitation is of the mind as it attempts to fool me into the belief that I am limited and therefore cannot change or move myself.

I commit myself to stop judgements of time as I realize that time is a mechanism through which I am able to see myself and use to expose the deception that exists within my world and reality.

Day 86 – Risk, Fear and Judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awful 

about myself, in that I have not done as much as I could have in the past 

because I have allowed myself to get discouraged with my situation and 

regrets/resentments of the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others 

through arguing in my head as backchat in the belief that others are to blame 

for that I have created.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to judge myself as a failure and seek to give up on myself – as the 

‘good' feeling’ of spite in my mind having played the ‘ace in the hole’

where I feel better through vengeful thoughts of spite, in spite of

myself and all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future 

outcomes based on my past where I am allowing myself to be controlled by 

fear as future projections of the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself 

to myself in the past, where I believe I was doing better or worse in the 

past – not seeing the point that I am facing here.I forgive myself that I 

have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for each thought 

that comes up and so allow thoughts to go unchecked and accumulate into 

self-judgement and fear and self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I 

can just coast through times of relaxation without pushing myself to direct 

myself in breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to 

become jealous of others who seem to have it easy in life with a well secured 

future, without realizing that each will have to face themselves as what they 

have created themselves as, thus we all face the same future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame 

myself because I have not fully walked my self-corrections, rather than do the 

work that needs to be done to correct myself through listing all the points 

and getting to the root of the issues. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this process 

as the reason I do not have enough time to focus on work, when it is this process 

that is assisting and has assisted me to become more effective in every aspect of 

my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the process for 

me not being able to make more contacts/friends/relationships within the system, 

as within the system its “who you know” that gets you money and success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not 

standing up for Equality, when it is myself who needs to perfect myself – the 

focus is always me so that I am standing absolute within myself, and then I will 

be able to assist others effectively.I forgive myself that I have accepted and 

allowed myself to blame “how I got into process” as an excuse as to why I can 

justify inaction and self-defeat, as I have trained myself in these characters of

justification.

I commit myself to write out all necessary Self Forgiveness statements so that I 

can again clear my starting point of all that must be corrected within myself 

and in so bring myself back to the starting point of here.I commit myself to take 

points of blame back to myself, not as blaming myself, but seeing why it is that 

I want to blame others – as being an excuse, so that I can use when my fear of 

failure manifests. Therefore I realize I must face all points of fear related to 

blame and stop pretending that I have no fear – If I have blame, I have fear.

I commit myself to, when I see that I am in a state of mind of 

self-defeat/discouragement – use it as an opportunity to see what points are 

activated through writing.I commit myself realize that fear of the future is of 

the mind and not real, and that getting discouraged with myself is based on past 

experiences.

I commit myself to realize that there is no stopping Equality, and that the 

outcome of changing and aligning myself to live what is best for all has great 

reward for all life in the end, as the true beginningof life, freed from all 

enslavement forever.I commit myself to exercise my opportunity to work on myself 

and push myself to become the directive principle in my life through pushing

myself to breathe every breath and face myself, as there is no point

complaining about it or putting it off, the sooner I perfect myself,

the better for all. 

Chained - Day 85

  I remember hearing this story when I was a child.  A long time ago, there was a man who lived with his family in a cabin.  One afternoon, the man was in the woods working and was bitten by a wild animal.  So he went to see a doctor to treat the wound and prevent infection.  The doctor informed him that he had contracted rabies.  The man and his family were all very sad about the news, as there was no known cure for rabies.  They understood that the virus would make him go mad - to the extent that he would go into a rage, and not be able to control himself and so possibly injure and even kill his family.  

     Then one day, the family was waiting for the man to come home from work, but he did not show up.  They all became worried, and went out to search for him, but they did not find him.  They asked all around, but no-one had seen him or knew where the man was. 

     A week later, the man’s daughter was walking in the woods and found her father chained to a tree… dead.  The man cared about his family, and the last thing he wanted was to see them get infected, or hurt by his inevitable madness.  So he made a decision.  He went out into the woods, chained himself to a tree, and threw away the key into the woods as far as he could so that it would not be found, and he would not be able to free himself. 

This story resembles very closely what we have all done to ourselves.  We have all done things in the past that we feel guilty about.  Yet through our continued self-judgement, we have diagnosed ourselves as having an in-curable disease.  And so we have ran into the ‘woods of our minds’, chained, hidden, and condemned ourselves, throwing away the key in the belief that there is no cure, or solution in fear of what we will become. There may not have been a known cure for rabies at the time, however this does not automatically imply that the man’s body could not have fought off and overcome the virus.  Also the idea that he would attack and kill his family is a fear of losing self-control, and so a justification and excuse to not face consequence.

Was what this man did honourable? 

The man trusted the doctors diagnosis, and so assumed that he would go mad, rather than trusting himself and dealing with the situation if, when, and how it actually manifested.  So his life was lost, and his family was left without him. 

This is what we often tend to do in our experience.  We trust the judgement of others rather than trust ourselves, we run from ourselves in fear of what we ‘assume or believe will happen.


Fortunately, there is a cure for what we have all allowed ourselves to become – as rabid, warring, judgemental, consumers chained to the tree of our mind in ego and self-interest.  The cure is Equality, and the medicine is self-honesty and self-forgiveness.  This medicine sets us free from the delusion that hiding and suppressing ourselves to death is the answer.   All we need to do is take the medicine and learn to trust ourselves to walk the solution. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no cure for what I have allowed myself and my world to become, when the cure is right here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and diagnose myself as evil in self-condemnation, justifying why I must run away from myself into my mind as the alternate reality where I think I can hide from myself and my responsibility to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself because ‘a doctor’ told me what would happen to me in the future.   Not to say ‘don’t trust doctors’, but rather self-honestly look at my situation and learn to communicate with my body and support my body through what my body is telling me.  I realize that getting multiple perspectives is also helpful in understanding what is best for my body and best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future rather than face the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed so that I realize that I must change myself to no longer accept and allow dishonesty within myself and my world.

I commit myself to embrace my situation as whatever presents itself in the moment, so that I can walk the correction of what I have created to realize what I am doing to myself

I commit myself to realize that beliefs are not cures, but rather deceptive pacifiers which allow projections into the future which only serve to complicate and confuse matters.  To be here requires no beliefs.

I commit myself to trust myself so that I can support myself in what my body requires

I commit myself to my agreement with my body to live without hiding in my mind as ego/personalities/characters/opinions/beliefs/thoughts/feelings and emotions, so that I can become Equal to all as a physical being in my reality that does not form judgements about myself or others.

I commit myself to realize that the only honourable way to live is to live as Equal to all, as the physical, and so bring about change in myself and my world to create a world based on the principle of what is best for all Life, rather than existing within a system of self-judgement and self-denial.

Day 73 - B-Lame excuses of the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fear of taking responsibility for myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use excuses in my mind as to why I can neglect responsibilities because of the limitations of my mind in the idea that its impossible and the belief that I am not going to be able to produce anything effective .

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility to prepare myself in the morning, where as I have seen if I just allow myself to do 'whatever' I will ultimately go into frivolous activities and thus slip into a mind state of comfort and stagnation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to direct me to become obstinate, making me want to spite myself through neglect, as thinking I can escape myself in reluctance to face my responsibilities because my mind see's them as doomed to fail as being subject to the judgements of others through a corrupt money system. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I see discouragement/fear of change within my participation - realize that it is entirely a mind system and therefore stop myself through clearing my starting point to here and walking my process as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my character/personality decide what it wants to do rather than me taking authority and responsibility as my physical body to do what is best for all in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get drawn into games and not want to stop myself because I fear facing myself and the problems I am facing, and so use my time in frivolous ways.  I realize that my 'character' as my mind, makes my problems seem much bigger, profound and difficult than what they actually are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to postpone responsibilities in thinking that I have plenty of time to do it later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of guilt, and in so allow my mind to come up with reasons why I need not write myself out immediately when I see a point of my trying to escape myself here.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that things will go better tomorrow, therefore I can just relax today and not apply myself in doing something constructive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification and excuse that 'if I were busier, I would not have any problems' and so use that to blame the system for my situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in thinking I am not working hard enough and get down on myself.

I commit myself to take responsibility for myself through realizing that I cannot blame the system because I allowed it to be created this way and therefore I am responsible for changing it in whatever way I can.

I commit myself to explore my options in order to stop the limitation of my mind wherein I have thought things are a certain way which is all based on my past experiences, which creates a hypothetical 'idea' of what I will encounter if I apply myself rather than applying myself and see what happens.

I commit myself to realize that the point that I need to work on more is self-discipline so that I can be more effective in changing and aligning myself to what is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that I have already changed myself considerably, so I just need to keep pushing my resistances as much as possible. I realize that changing myself to stand absolutely equal in every way is the only thing that will remove the anxiety and falseness that exists within me as characters.

I commit myself to pay attention to triggers of system activations within myself - such as first thing when I wake up in the morning.

I commit myself  write myself a big reminder so that I will find it first thing in the morning and so remember to start the day off by clearing my starting point and some breathing exercises, realizing that I must not allow myself to be dictated by events of the previous day.

Day 72 - Just-ice and Polarity-ice systems

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be specific with where I am driving and so end up driving by a polarity-ice officer who had no choice but to pull me over and hand me a $240 fine for not wearing a seat-belt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I can circumvent the system therefore despite the fact that I am fully capable of driving safely without a seat-belt, I must realize that I created the system and so therefore I am subject to its rules and regulations, and therefore subject to the systems robots whom are so completely enslaved they do not even realize they are enslaved.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a system where a pol-ice officer can give me a fine which keeps me enslaved to the money system, and after handing me the fine, walk away saying "drive safe!" as if to say "I need to teach you a lesson on driving by handing you a fine so you can become a safer driver" as if to use the phrase as an insult and justification for a bullying money system.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a just-ice system that is absolutely ice-cold and inconsiderate in its merciless, and opinionated judgement of beings on the planet based on a money system of greed and self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in frustration and so allow myself to get discouraged about my finances after getting a fine. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get discouraged with myself when things don't go as I would like them to go. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to dictate a mood to my physical body so that I get down on myself and become discouraged through worrying about finances.  I realize worry is a word that I have re-defined as taking action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is nothing I can do to change my financial situation

I commit myself to explore more opportunities to change my financial situation

I commit myself to push myself through resistances of frustration and so not allow my mind to dictate to my physical how I should feel based on money.

I commit myself to change myself and clear my starting point each time that a situation arises that I feel that I am being mistreated, as I realize all is an outflow of consequence that I accepted and allowed through me not taking responsibility for life.

I commit myself act in doing what is best for all in all situations

I commit myself to realize that this experience that I am living is not life, because if it were life, we would not have bullies.

I commit myself to be specific with myself within planning my itinerary as to where I am going and when and why, rather than wait till I am driving to figure it out.

Day 67 - The Non-Religious Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe religious behavior in others, and judge them as 'false' and 'religious', while not facing or realizing the point within myself that ANY belief is a religion, thus whenever I lay claim to a definition of myself as 'anti-religious' or 'atheist' or 'agnostic' or 'an authentic believer/person' in order to validate my character, I realize that I myself am playing a character in my self-created unique religion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study and memorize the beliefs of others so that I can repeat those beliefs as if I found or created them for myself, when all they were was a copy of a script for the play of my character in my mind, used to deceive myself and others in the overarching grand belief that life is to be lived as a spiteful character who supports lies and false appearances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study how people of authority are valued by others, and so pretend to be wise myself, as a copy of those I have seen as having significant influence on others - in an attempt to increase the value and validity of my own character so I can continue to hide from myself and promote opinionated, one-dimensional beliefs based on fear and greed - in spite of myself and what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Identify myself with those in authority and devise ways to get their attention in unique ways, so that I can be seen by others interacting with that person in order to gain credibility, status and power over programmable sheep who will in turn propagate my beliefs in an infinite cycle of abuse, to the detriment of all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kiss ass when around those of authority, perceived influence or 'power', so that I may be perceived as a figure of wisdom, intelligence and authority myself, in an attempt to inflate and validate my false character, in self-hate and self-delusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid, and spitefully talk down to, those who do not appear to hold value - in the eyes of those I wish to deceive with my character, and in so relish in the energetic rush I get from thinking and believing I am better than another, in my false identity and perceived ability to pass a knowledge or opinion based judgement on another.
   
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make subtle, and insulting jokes towards those who do not hold the same values as my character holds.  I realize that my jokes are an attempt to demean and devalue one who does not appreciate the value and all the hard work I put into creating my false character.  I realize that these jokes are tactful and often used in front of those whom have no integrity and will laugh because I laughed, thus validating the humorous side of my character, which gives my character the appearance of depth and of being well rounded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use name dropping of people who are influential, and perceived by others as powerful or strong in character, in order that I may be attributed by others as having influence myself, in my own false character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote charitable and/or activist causes, so that I can appears to be a person who is concerned with the well being of others, or humanity as a whole, yet I am secretly only concerned about my own character, and how that false entity is perceived by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote my vast knowledge on subjects that will grant my character more credibility with others, by memorizing and regurgitating information, and trendy catch phrases that guarantee a positive or humorous reaction amongst those who cannot distinguish the false character from the physical being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep up to date with the latest trends, so as to appear to be on the crest of evolutionary understanding by way of promoting the most recent information, which my character believes, will give me honor with those I hold in high regard, yet I have spitefully used that information to leverage myself against those I perceived to be weak, and of less value than my character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear clothing that will make me appear to be in line with the authority figure of my preference, whom I have idolized as being powerful and righteous in my mind as my puffed up ego of illusionary fantasy, while in actuality, my character cares nothing, as to him, life is just a game to be played, and winning is all that matters.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surround myself with 'lost puppies' whom have little integrity in order to appear to have a following, yet when an opportunity arises to mingle with those of higher authority occurs, I will ditch the lost puppies and act as if I barely knew them at all because I, as my character, only value the appearance of authenticity.

Day 18 - Understanding Equality for Christians

Being a former 'born again' Christian of 15 years myself, I would like to take this opportunity to relate some of the points as to how a 'Christian' can understand Equality and what questions to ask oneself to realize the nature of ones belief system.  Firstly, I would like to make a point of saying that I have no pity for those who do not have the courage to question their god and their belief system.  After all, it is your own belief that says hell is for the fearful.


Question #1 - Regarding the Foundational Belief in Hell.

Ask yourself, do I really want some people to go to hell and suffer for eternity?  Because by accepting that belief as 'gods law' you are accepting it yourself as a just punishment for non-believers.  Add to the fact that you don't really know who will go to 'hell', it could be your closest loved one for all you know.  Is this world not already a living hell for many that come into this world just to starve to death or suffer continual abuse?  If God really did love humans, why would he require the fear of hell to persuade people to love him back?


Question #2 - Regarding Knowing God or Jesus

Many Christians will claim they 'know' God or Jesus as a self-confirmation that they are different from 'religious' people who claim to be Christians but do not follow the lifestyle of being a strong believer.  There are 2 definitions of the word 'know' in the bible. One is to have acquaintance as a friend, and the other is to have an intimate sexual relationship.  Many Christians will claim they have an intimate relationship through the 'holy spirit'.  From my observations in the church, I could see many who were having strong 'energetic' experiences claiming it was the spirit of God.  So is God then energy? The word 'know' actually represents knowledge - as in the tree of knowledge as opposed to the tree of Life. So Christians with knowledge of God are merely projecting an image of how they would imagine God to be based on their preprogrammed knowledge.


Question #3 - Regarding Predestination

It is mentioned twice in the new testament that we are in fact predestined.  So what is predestination?  Is it not simply a program?  So therefore you are in fact a living program locked into a future that you cannot change.  What would be the purpose of faith then if it is already predestined?  Most would say it is to learn about God, however, this would be nonsense because you only experience God as energy as the holy spirit.  So are you not in fact a slave to God's destiny as the energy based program?  How do you know God will not run another program for you when you die and go to 'heaven'?

Question #4 - Regarding Heaven

There is very little written in the bible about heaven.  It says that the streets are paved with gold.  Personally, I always thought that was ridiculous and I wouldn't even have an interest in going to a place like that.  I would much rather have rocks and trees and rivers and oceans and mountains... like here on earth in the physical.  What are you going to do in heaven?  Bowing and Singing praise to God all the time?  Would that not get boring after a while?  Why can we not agree to create heaven on earth through living the principle of what is best for all?  Would a real God not want what is best for all as living as Equals instead of a master/slave relationship?  After all, was it not God who confused our languages when building the tower of babel because he said 'nothing would be impossible to them'?  Is that not biblical proof that we could create heaven on earth?

Question #5 - Regarding Gods Forgiveness of Sin

You realize that you are sinning all the time either openly or in your secret mind.  That being the case, being a Christian, you are subject to the 'mercy' of God all the time, and you cannot change yourself because you are predestined and he has to forgive you - you cannot forgive yourself.  You are thus his complete slave and he your master.  Was it not God who hardened the heart of Pharaoh to cause him to sin against God?  Why do you believe he will not do the same to you?  Why do you give your trust and life to a God that you don't actually know as a physical being?



Equality is the ultimate self-realization where we do not have to fear hell or believe in a god or heaven as separate from ourselves, but we realize that we are co-creators in this world and as such, we must stand to take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed to exist as us here.  It is easy to just give up on yourself and place your trust and life in god, but to trust yourself and to stand for life, that is a real challenge to yourself that has an actual, physical outcome that can be measured by our very breath.  Instead of repeating phrases from a 2000 yr old book, I speak words as me here in self-honesty in standing - not in self interest - but for that which is best for All.

Ask yourself these questions and feel free to respond if you have further questions or comments.

Thanks for reading!