Day 224 - Learning to Trust the Physical

Learning to trust the physical is an interesting part of process.  When we drop all the fears we were living as/within before, we realize that we can no longer trust those mental ideas we had once placed so much of ourselves into.  We cannot trust experiences, because they are over as soon as they start, and so they do not  provided any lasting solution.  We cannot trust our expectations, because our expectations very rarely materialize the way we expect them too, thus untrustworthy.  We cannot trust our dreams, as that would be foolishly and blindly trusting in some higher power.   Besides that, look where all the dreams of humanity have brought us to... a planet and race on the brink of total collapse and annihilation?  Dreams are certainly untrustworthy then.  We cannot trust our feelings and we definitely cannot trust our thoughts.  Thoughts have an arbitrary origin and only serve the mind of pre-programmed beliefs and egotistical opinions.  Thoughts also produce feelings which, like an addictive drug, keep use enslaved to serving our own self interest rather than living in common sense as what is Best for All.

We cannot trust what our parents, friends, and teachers taught us, as we eventually realize that all of that indoctrination and add-vice was spoken in a desire to manipulate us into a certain behavior   Obviously the mind cannot be trusted, as the mind exists in fear, fearing for its own survival.   The mind seeks to avoid any and all responsibility - because if we were to actually take responsibility for ourselves and all life, the mind would have no place to exist.  The mind is the point of separation, which exists in conflict with the physical.

What if we were to place our complete trust in ourselves, as the physical?  What would it be like to walk every day in complete trust of oneself with no fear, expressing oneself in full responsibility and accountability towards all Life?  What would it be like, to not be enslaved to a government, or a corporation, or a fear, or a system, or a thought, or any feelings?  Who would I be, if I was not enslaved?  Is there a limit on what I could be and what I could not be?  Obviously, I am not the only one in existence here, so I must first do whatever is required to support all life Equally as myself, so as to sustain my own existence and the existence of others eternally.

Trusting the physical seems very strange, yet it is such a relief from all the fear.  I am here, and I express myself based on what is here as me.  I take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be created as, and in that way, I learn how to direct myself from the starting point of breath.   I realize how critical it is to be fully aware of every decision I make, and the consequences thereof.... As I now see the horrible path that irresponsibility, denial, positive feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires has lead me on.

Join the Desteni I Process   

Day 183 - Spite the Spite

I realized have been blaming the subconscious mind - as the layers of thought which circulate within myself and others - for holding me back in my process.  In addition to that blame, I, as my mind, created opinions and beliefs about those subconscious thoughts as a means to condemn and disqualify myself from applying myself in my process.  I could also refer to it as my judgement thoughts of the thoughts.  From those judgments/beliefs/opinions, (which I also referred to as 'passive spite') I allowed myself to be drained of my 'will' to direct myself and pursue my journey to Life - as if I were to blame others perceptions of me (and/or the mirror images in my mind) for not allowing myself to stand for Life.

Seems to be such an incredibly simple, yet subtle, point in hindsight, and the obvious solution being - to spite the spite.  Apply myself despite what others may think of me.  Apply myself despite whether or not I believe I can do it or not.  Spite the fear of not being able to do it.  Spite the judgments and beliefs I had placed on the thoughts, through not accepting and allowing myself to judge the thoughts, or be influenced by them.  Just do it regardless, without looking for approval or disapproval - because I realize it is in the best interest of everyone, not just my selfish, fearful opinion of myself.

I was trying to save myself ahahahaa...
trying to save my mind hhmmmhmmhmm...

How is it possible for fear to keep me from that which I... dare I say the 'L' word.  Yet as long as I am in separation from myself as my mind, my 'love' is not real... still only a fantasy. I have the opportunity to stand by myself, for myself, for and as All - despite my minds opinions of whether or not a belief exists as to whether or not I am able to fulfill my commitment to myself - Life can exist within and as me, I just have to become Equal to it.

Spite the Spite,
All that is not the real me,
As the real me is the physical,
And nothing more.

Then it all becomes clear,
And I can learn to direct myself,
In Common Sense as
What is Best for All of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the subconscious mind for holding me back in my process.  I realize that I accepted and allowed those thoughts, ideas and beliefs to be 'more' than me rather than standing Equal to them and realizing that it was the mind attempting to disqualify me from applying myself in my process so I would not realize who I am as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge thoughts through the mirror of my mind and  classify them as personal beliefs about myself and others and so suppress and drain my will, and prevent myself from realizing myself for who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give fear and selfish opinion precedence over the physical me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create discord within myself through allowing thoughts as judgments and beliefs to dictate to me who and what I am and/or should be, rather than me directing who I am and living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and save my mind as the judgments and fearful opinions opinions of myself.

I commit myself to Spite the Spite, and so not accept and allow the illusions, the passive spite as thoughts, judgments, and beliefs to direct and control the manifested physical reality.



 

177 - Commitments

I am Here

I commit myself to stand Equal to the physical in this Life

I commit myself to realize that speaking words resonates within my physical body and changes me

I commit myself to re-program myself through writing, speaking words as me, and standing Equal to my words


I commit myself to speak words that support Equality of Life

I commit myself to speak myself to Life - OUT LOUD

I commit myself to speak myself to Life even when I don't feel like it


I commit myself to learn to take responsibility for myself, my world, and my words

I commit myself to challenge my self-imposed limitations of mind

I commit myself to transcending the desire for comfort and self-interest

I commit myself to create myself as the directive principle of myself

I commit myself to enjoy my opportunity to become Life

I commit myself to redefine fear as the sign that points the way and shows me what I need to face and direct

I commit myself to enjoy pushing my resistances when I am challenged by the mind/ego

I commit myself to Educate myself to understand the process of becoming Life

I commit myself to constantly work at being here in and as the physical through breathing

I commit myself to enjoy my work

I commit myself to redefine work - to creating myself as Life

I commit myself to sharing my process and realizations with others

I commit myself to re-peat these words that support Life until all points are transcended

I commit myself to continue to support myself through purifying my words until I stand absolute as Life here

I commit myself to realize that making videos is very supportive of myself and others

I commit myself to move myself for no other reason but to support what is Best for All

I commit myself to - when a personality system arise - stop myself within breath to see the starting point of what triggered the personality/pattern so I can forgive myself and speak or write words to change myself.

163 - Miss Breath and Miss Opportunity

Today I had to do an estimate.  During negotiations, I realized that I would not be able to do the job due to an outlet being in the wrong place.  For some reason, perhaps I figured it would take too long with the electrical work that needed to be relocated.  I quickly assumed that I would not be able to do the job, explained this to the client and closed negotiations saying I could come back when he had that issue fixed himself.

While I was driving home, it occurred to me that I probably could have done the relocation myself and charged the customer a little more for the time involved.  Why had I not seen that opportunity?  My assumption was quick, as the customer and I had been bartering over price - which was already very low, and this was causing me some frustration as I had already taken the time to drive all the way out there, which has already cost me 1/5th of the total job price in gas.

I see that I had already begun to become negative about the job, and when I realized that the plug had to be moved, I entertained a good feeling of not having to do the work with the excuse that I could not do it now.  The happy feeling was compounded by the negative feeling that I was not going to make any money, and I had in fact lost money by doing the estimate.  Within all of these feelings, I did not stop myself to assess the situation here as breath, trusting myself and the physical.  I was going by the emotion of how events like this had played out in the past - so I was in fear that the worst would happen.

The other point I realized is that, had I seen the opportunity to relocate the electrical myself and negotiated with the client for it, I may well have been upset with myself for undertaking the job, especially if there were any surprises as there always are in this line of work.  So it is a situation where I would judge myself either way.  The only solution to this is to remain here in breath, and not go into self-judgement for any reason.  Stop living my past and to live every moment as me, as breath.  I was aware of my breath the whole way to the clients house, however when I got there and the stress of the job kicked in, I lost all awareness and went on autopilot.

Business is more competitive in the winter here, and I had not prepared enough advertising for myself in the fall.  I had a job lined up which did not work out, and then expected to be able to get a job somewhere but that has not panned out either.  I will be exploring my options over the next little while to see where I can place myself to be effective and to support myself.   Besides that, process wise, things seem to be going well.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I encounter a stressful situation where I am in the vicinity of people - go on autopilot and forget my breath awareness causing me to make rash decisions and choices based in fear and how things have played out in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by systems as the projection of fear that the worst would happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not realizing the opportunity to do the extra work and make some extra money from the situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget my newly learned skills of persuasion when dealing with clients - reciprocity, authority, scarcity, consistency, liking and consensus.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to direct myself in the most effective manner so that I am able to support myself and change my world to a world worth living in with Equality of Life as the principle we all live by.

I commit myself to pushing myself to remain in breath awareness when involved in stressful situations where other people are around.

I commit myself to stop living in past definitions and begin to take responsibility for me in all situations through breathing and living from the starting point of here - as seeing every situation as a completely new experience of myself here, equal to the physical reality.

I commit myself to the realization that, to walk this process of awareness in each moment is... to bring myself back from the state of absolute self-devaluation, where my existence hangs by a single strand of knowledge of myself, in the understanding that the whole universe has in fact betrayed me, as the reflection of my own self-betrayal.... to align myself with the actual starting point of myself here, as breath, so that I may create myself as Equal to all things, as the final end of all enslavement and beginning of Life without limitation or judgement, where the value of All is Equally precious as Life.
     

Day 122–The Revised Alchemical Process of Self-Perfection

Alchemy was an influential philosophical tradition whose early practitioners' claimed profound powers which were known from antiquity. The defining objectives of alchemy are varied; these include the creation of the fabled philosopher's stone possessing powers including the capability of turning base metals into the noble metals gold or silver, as well as an elixir of life conferring youth and longevity.
The problem was, Alchemists never fully understood the nature of the problem they worked so hard to resolve, and so, without having a proper starting point, all efforts were in vain.
Here is a relative description of different stages of the alchemical processes and how they can relate and assist self in the process of self-realization and self-discovery.

1. Ablation
The separation of a component by removing the upper part, sometimes by skimming it off the surface.
The realization that we have separated ourselves through belief systems and thinking we are better than the physical reality, not realizing the consequences of such or who we are.
 
2. Stratification
An operation which produces layers in the substance in the flask.
The realization that we have separated ourselves into many layers of thought, space, and time.

3. Albification
The making of the matter in the alchemical work become white.
Trying to purify ourselves through self-righteous thoughts, beliefs and valuations in thinking we are ‘better than’ ourselves as the physical.

4. Ascension
When the active or subtle part rises up in the flask, usually by heating.
The attempt to escape oneself through raising ones vibration and creating make believe fantasies of the mind.  This erroneous belief only leads to diminishment, as one believes the fallacy that energy can exist forever, while energy feeds off and thus requires the physical to exist.

5. Conjunction
The joining of two opposite components, often seen as the union of the male and female, the subtle and gross, or even the elements.
The realization that thoughts and judgements exist in polarities (conflict) with one another which create energy, which depletes the physical.

6. Cineration
The reduction of a substance to ashes by heating.
The realization that our physical bodies are composed of physical elements of the earth, and as such are subject to return to the earth at any given moment at which time all our personalities, beliefs and memories will cease to exist.

7. Crystallization
The formation of crystals out of a solution of the substance usually in water, either by their gradual formation from the liquid, or by evaporation of the liquid.
The realization that ones thoughts, feelings, and emotions crystalize within ones physical body and are thus used to keep us enslaved to patterns of the past.

8. Decrepitation
The crackling and splitting apart of substances, for example common salt, on heating.
Investigating and dissecting ones belief systems through research to simplify and test whether they actually contain any real value.

9. Division
The separation of a substance into its elements.
The realization that thought is not composed of any physical elements.

10. Corrosion
The eating up of a substance by an acid, alkali or corrosive material.
The acid test of self-honesty one applies within oneself to test whether or not one’s beliefs are valid in that they support life, or they are corrosive and/or destructive to oneself and others.

11. Dissolution
The dissolving or transforming of a substance into a liquid.
Dissolving ones belief systems to become physical.

12. Descension
When the subtle or active part of a substance is made to go down to the bottom of a flask, rather than ascend as a vapour.
Seeing the truth of oneself as having participated in creating hell on earth, as placing oneself in the shoes of the lowest, most reviling existence, thus realizing ones responsibility to change.

13. Exhalation
The release of a gas or air from a substance.
Applying oneself within breathing (including inhalation) as the key to supporting oneself in transcending the mind.

14. Digestion
The slow modification of a substance by means of a gentle heat.
Grasping the truth of oneself through slowing oneself down in process.

15. Elaboration
The general term for the process of separating the pure from the impure, and leading a substance towards perfection.
Self-purification through eliminating that which does not support life (thoughts, beliefs, opinions, judgements etc.) and changing oneself to become that which does support life, as the physical.

16. Incineration
The conversion of a substance to ashes by means of a powerful fire.
Incinerating ones thought patterns and memories through the process of self-forgiveness.

17. Maturation
A general term applied to identify the appearance of a degree of perfection in the work.
Becoming stable in ones process of taking responsibility to change oneself in applying oneself to live what is best for all.

18. Mortification
Here the substance undergoes a kind of death, usually through a putrefaction
Facing the fact of one’s created consequential death, and thus using the current opportunity to create oneself as Life.
 
19. Purgation
The purging or purifying of a substance by it casting forth a gross part.
Applying oneself within self-forgiveness and self-correction to purge thoughts, memories and patterns of the past so that one can change to support oneself and others as an Equal.

20. Rectification
The purification of the matter by means of repeated distillations, the distillate being again distilled.
Repeated self-correction through cross-referencing with others walking the process.

22. Reiteration
The repetition of a process, particularly applied to circular distillation, in which the distillate is returned to the vessel, and the process continued for many cycles.
Consistent application and commitment so that one does not repeat the cycles and patterns of the mind, and so can break and/or transcend the limitations of such patterns.

23. Transmutation
The action of changing or the state of being changed.
The realization that self-change is possible and not confined to the limitations and belief systems of the mind.

24. Resolution
This occurs when substances which are mixed together become violently separated by being placed into a solution.
When one no longer participates in patterns of self-sabotage

25. Restinction
Here a substance at white heat is brought to perfection by being quenched in an exalting liquid.
The white heat representing the realization of the cruelty that we currently exist as, and so the exalting liquid is the realization of the possibility of self redemption through becoming the living example of Equality as physically living what is Best for All.

26. Revivification
The bringing of a mortified matter back to life, or reactivating it.
Undertaking the 7 year Journey to Life.

27. Conception
The marriage or union of the male and female aspects of substances.
Birthing Life in the physical for the first time ever in existence.

Day 117 – The End of All Selfishness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that love can only exist if Life exists, and that love can only be real when it is given Equal value as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the extent to which I have allowed neglect and spite to exist, and the extent to which it causes pain, fear, suffering and sorrow, and the extent to which it is so easily swept away and forgotten in the mind, only to be re-enacted through the very same cycle within the desire for selfish experiences, as limited joy, and pretentious love.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clearly see and understand, that the problem has a root within myself, and that unless the root of the problem is corrected, the problem continues to physically consume me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the solution to the problem as simply taking responsibility to change myself, to give up selfishness… and in doing so, I can contribute to the solution to the root of the problem, to bring an end to fear, suffering, sorrow and all enslavement forever. 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity, that Equality as What is Best for All is the absolute solution to all problems, as everyone working together for the common sense practical solutions to assist all Life to have an Equal opportunity to express and enjoy Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through the inner valuation and judgments of my secret mind, I have participated and given my support to the greater valuation system, in spite of myself and as all of existence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Life cannot exist within competition, conflict and careless consumption, nor can it exist within a valuation system where Life is regarded as the lowest of all values, in favor of self-indulging experience as greed, as this results in Life itself being consumed, for nothing.

I commit myself to creating myself as Equal to Life so that love can exist for real, as Life, as me

I commit myself to abandon all selfish desire, so that I may honor myself and All as Equal so that Life can be of real value

I commit myself to understanding the common sense that the root of the problem must be corrected and lived within myself

I commit myself to realize the simplicity of changing myself to live Equality, and to work for common sense practical solutions that will give every being an opportunity to live, express and enjoy the gift of Life

I commit myself to make a stand against all valuations and judgments so that we can replace this valuation system for a system where Life can be supported

I commit myself to give Life as Equality the highest value so that a valuation system is no longer necessary, as all can exist Equal to Life.

Day 60 - Times and Seasons

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to energy fluctuations based on the time of day.  I realize that consciousness attempts to dictate my moods and feelings based on the programmed idea of how I should feel like at certain times of the day. My physical body has no preference for time of day, therefore any preference such as 'morning person' or 'night owl' is of the mind.  I realize that any time of day is equal in nature and there are no moods connected and determined by time of day by my physical body.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to energy fluctuations based on the day of the week.  My physical body does not function by the day of the week, but supports me unconditionally as it supports itself to be here in the present moment as the physical expression of me.  Therefore I am not limited to feeling the ups and downs based on the day of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to energy fluctuations based on the seasons or the time of the year.  I realize that while my physical body may feel more comfortable in warm temperatures as opposed to cold, I am equally able to express myself within cold temperatures as well as warm. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and controlled by feelings based on traditional holidays and celebrations.  I realize that my physical body has no preference for any mind created idea of separation wherein a 'holiday' is created.  All days are equally here as I am here as my physical body.  I direct myself to express myself without having or allowing myself to be directed and controlled by a system of beliefs which seek to determine my moods (as doom) and expression - that would be self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that any day that I am here, I am able to express myself in supporting all life equally.  Through supporting all life as what is best for all, I am supporting myself and bringing myself back to the starting point of myself so that life can be born from the physical as actual real expression of self - not controlled by a system of beliefs and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in celebrations.  I realize that while my world as me is in tremendous agony - celebration is inconsideration and spiteful towards myself as my world.  How can I celebrate the suffering of billions of people, animals, plants and the entirety of existence?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create times and seasons in separation of myself as the physical.  In doing so I have attempted to understand myself within a definition of myself in separation, when I am here and I have been here all along.  I do not need a definition of myself to exist, as that only diminishes me.  All I need is for me to be honest with myself and to live as Equal to all as what is best for all in all ways always, and I will realize myself and birth myself as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on times and seasons and holy-days out of fear of facing and expressing myself.  I realize that all I have to do to realize myself is to take responsibility to face my fears in self-honesty, and if I find I am not being honest with myself, I simply forgive myself, and change myself to live as an Equal in every way.  Living in self-interest is HELL, and I hate it through and through.

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment, as each moment being equal - no time separation.

I commit myself to mess with the system through getting up in the middle of the night and waking someone up... just for the fuck of it.

I commit myself to being equal to my physical body in every way, directing myself in what is here, and changing whatever needs to be changed to align with what is best for all in all ways.

I commit myself to realize that I am the directive principle of myself here, and in so I direct all life as me in what is best for all

I commit myself to expose the deception of the system which has enslaved

I commit myself to take responsibility to express myself as here, as birthing myself in the physical.

I commit myself to assisting everyone I meet, because naturally, if my only reason for living is equality, as what is best for all, every thing I do and say will be directed to support life as Equality until it is done, and no more ignorance, fear or senseless suffering exists within me as my world.

Artwork by hibbary
http://hibbary.deviantart.com/art/Four-Seasons-82254728

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 58 - Sharing Equality

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that each person is as me as a physical being.  Therefore any judgement I have that is 'of my mind' is separating myself into and as that which is not physical.  I realize that the deception that pervades all of existence - as people abusing life through the secret mind, and not understanding themselves as who we are as physical - must be exposed openly, so that all may have the opportunity for self-realization.  I also realize that I cannot judge others - aside from stopping myself from participating in obvious, deliberate and spiteful behavior that clearly does not support life, in which case it is not a mental judgement but a physical, open statement of who I am, and what I will or will not allow myself to participate in. 

Anyone can, at any time, move themselves to 'wake up' to the self-realization of what is necessary to be done to stand for, and support Life as Equality.   I do not know the outcome - therefore I support all those willing to hear unconditionally, so that I may assist others as I would like to be assisted, were I in their shoes.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within my participation with others, I am accountable to share myself as who I have realized myself to be - As taking responsibility to direct and change myself into that which is best for all as Equal.  Within this realization, I am able to skillfully direct myself to assist another as myself, to see past the limitations of the mind, and to assist another to face the reality of the world we have all collectively accepted and allowed as ourselves - as the calculated, and self-willed abuse of life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confront others from the starting point of seeing myself as 'better than' because I have acquired the knowledge of Equality.  In so doing, I create a polarity friction war between them and myself, and manifest a point of separation within myself, as using knowledge to 'try to do something good' to make myself feel superior.  I realize that this only charges the mind within reactions, judgements and beliefs, in attempt to make others feel inferior within a knowledge belief system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to change others in my own self-interest.  The actuality is that I cannot change anyone, I can only assist others that wish to change themselves, as each is self-responsible, and any action that is an attempt to change another is merely manifesting a master/slave relationship or polarity war in and as the mind as ego consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my expression of self-standing in responsibility to myself, as self-trust, as embracing myself unconditionally is the best support I can offer myself or anyone else, where, my expression is not dependent on the perfection of grammar or phrases that I use, because my self-honest expression - regardless of the word configuration - is what will be the most effective in assisting others to see beyond their own fears and into their own self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the exponential outflow of each moment/opportunity as the compression of time as myself.  In that outflow, I can direct myself within and as self-honesty and so expose the deception, so that it can be eradicated and Life can be born - timeless and eternal, where all that will exist is Equality as Life forever.

I commit myself to stop all mental judgements that do not support life or what is best for all.

I commit myself to bring realization to myself as self-honest expression as me as doing what is best for all in every moment, every movement and every breath so that I can enjoy the fruit of my labor as having extracted the parasite of consciousness which has blinded me for eons of time. 

I commit myself sharing myself unconditionally to all who will hear the desteni message of Equality so that all of existence may understand and be brought to account of how we have abused Life

I commit myself to applying self-forgiveness and corrective application as well as making myself available to show others the tools that will assist one to change oneself to serve Life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to support life through the creation of an Equal Money System so that all that are here may be supported and life will be honored and given Equal value as the value of Life as what it should be. 

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 55 - Self Realization

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed my mind as a system to direct and control my physical body.  I realize that by allowing my mind to be the master of my physical body and reality, I have abdicated myself to a system of enslavement. 

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to direct myself, my physical body, my breathing and through those applications I can have a clear starting point to direct my world and reality without being influenced by a mind system which feeds off the physical as a parasite seeking an energy fix as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that allowing my mind to direct and control me, is giving my power away to a system of enslavement through energy.  I realize that enslavement diminishes me and does not support life or what is best for all, therefore slavery is unacceptable and is the enemy of life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious truth that is right before my eyes - as ME - as the physical reality.  How could I possibly not see that the physical for what it is - as the reflection of what I have manifested myself as in separation from myself, through spitefulness and fear of facing who I am for real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that spitefulness to myself, everyone else, and my world is the most hideous form of cruelty which is perpetuated through DENIAL and false appearances for the sake of SELF-INDULGENCE and SELF-INTEREST, where people only CLAIM to love and care,  yet all our loving and caring is nothing more than an insult to life – Because we do not stand AS EQUALS! I realize that love and care in they eyes of this world is abused through denying reality, in exchange for a temporary illusion, a fleeting feeling, and/or an energy rush...all of which is of consciousness and therefore deceitful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think I can blame the system, or blame politicians, or blame bankers or blame god, or blame some higher power, or blame my parents, or blame my friends, or blame my teachers, or blame my boss.  I realize that no-one can take responsibility for me, and I must be the one to stand and walk myself out of the brutal consequences I have created for myself through my self-dishonesty to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fearing who I am and fearing what I will lose in this reality if I stand for life as Equality.  I realize that I can never hide from myself and I am FULLY AWARE of each action I take that does/does not support all life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to stand for all life as Equality - as what is best for all - is THE HIGHEST HONOR any being can attain – as standing as an Equal, as breath, as the physical – and there is no other honor worthy of life in this current reality – as all other honors and awards are based in self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge on those who I have blamed as evil, when all along I have been lying to myself because I am the creator of evil in this world and it is my responsibility to stand for life alone.  I realize that if I desire revenge on another, I am desiring revenge for myself and therefore I will not transcend my mind as the seeker of vain glory and personal gratification within and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prey on the weak and disadvantaged in my world through using, and abusing a money system that is utterly corrupt, brutal and insidious in nature.  A system which only protects the abusive people and abusive system through portraying a pretty picture of false love, false hope and false life.

I commit myself to re-defining my world and reality within the context of Equality as what is best for all, so we can stop the illusion and bring about a real change in our physical world so that all life can be honored Equally.

I commit myself to direct myself from the starting point of me here, as the source of existence, working for the single purpose of birthing myself as life in and as the physical, so that we can put an end all abuse of life forever.

I commit myself to understand - through research and the free support offered through Desteni group – and face my fears, because I realize that fears are harmful in that they create consequence for me and others in my world and reality. Therefore when and as I see a fear within me, I stop and breathe.  I then address the fear to deconstruct the starting point of the fear, so that I may re-align myself as being here, as a physical being seeking the best interest of all rather than just living for myself in self-interest.

I commit myself to walk my process of self-honesty and self-correction, and self-realization until it is done and there exists no separation, abuse or deception - anywhere in existence whatsoever. 

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 54

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone my responsibilities till the last minute.  I realize that doing this creates consequences that I will have to face as not being effective as possible within my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think to myself that I can relax and not push myself throughout the day even at times where I feel that I don't have much to do, there are things that I can do that will assist myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself too much slack within my daily participation, as still not being completely effective with self-discipline.  I realize I need to develop a system for myself where I can discipline myself to direct myself in working at expanding myself and doing things that will manifest changes that will be reflected in my outer world as changes that are moving myself towards assisting others and myself to stand up and support equality and equal money for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the primary points in my life that need to be dealt with - with regards to work and positioning myself somehow so that I am better able to support myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inconsistent with pushing my resistances, where at times if I don't feel like doing something because I feel tired or too relaxed, I have allowed myself to become ineffective through doing things that produce no real change in myself and or my world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to consider those in my world that are in desperate situations.  Just because I do not see them right here in front of me does not mean that it is not happening - I know it is happening - and just because I am not experiencing the suffering they are going through right now does not mean it is not happening, or that I will have to face similar consequences in the future through my accepted and allowed consequences of lack of self-direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect my responsibility to myself to motivate myself, not through fear, but through me upholding my responsibility to myself as supporting life and living the principle of what is best for all in all ways.

I commit myself to change myself in every moment and to realize that I am able to change in every moment.

I commit myself to motivating myself through constantly bringing my awareness here, as the physical, and remembering what horrors this world actually exists as so that I can change myself and my world for which I am responsibile for creating as this horrible atrocity that it is.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and facing each point that comes up within me - and to no longer accept and allow myself to define myself with my mind as the ideas and personalities of the past which kept me enslaved to an idea of myself - as 'good' or 'funny' or 'cool' or 'intelligent'. I realize that the only way to solve the problems in our world is for each to self-realize through self-honesty so we can all contribute and work together to create a world that is best for all.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 53 - Enjoy the Challenge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in a rush while working because I fear not making money fast enough.  When and as I notice myself rushing and pushing myself to hard, I stop and breathe for a moment to slow myself down so that I am not allowing my mind to dictate the pace.  I realize that I must direct myself in each moment and no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of not having money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that consistency is the most effective and practical method to direct myself so that I can be effective in my work and direct myself in and as the physical.  If I am rushing, I must stop myself and check whether my starting point is fear or me directing myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all situations I find myself in are self-created, and so I must walk out the consequences.  Within that I realize that I must stop myself from creating consequences by directing myself in and as breath in every moment, not reacting to situations but directing them as myself in what is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my programmed personality based on my parents personalities and how they dealt with issues such as frustration and anxiety.  I no longer accept and allow myself to grasp onto a personality, but rather I face myself here in the challenge to change myself and direct myself in each moment, so that I can align myself with the physical as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear directing myself in each moment, as if I would fear facing myself as how I have created myself.  I realize that in taking responsibility for myself here, I must walk the consequences of what I have created, so that I can challenge myself to change myself in undoing what I have done and created as myself as this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that facing resistances and challenging my personality/ego/mind is the way to freeing myself from self-created consequence, and therefore I enjoy that challenge and I enjoy taking responsibility for myself rather than exist as a slave robot to a system of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on a nice face, smile or laugh to make someone else feel more comfortable.  I realize that this is self-compromise and I am sick of compromising myself as a program of trying to please others in fear of expressing myself self-honestly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in any way to people within conversation.  I realize that reacting is of the mind, therefore I direct myself to directly speak words as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-correction in the presence of another person.  I realize that taking responsibility to correct myself in front of others is not only assisting myself but assisting others as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face myself within self-correction immediately, so as to catch myself instantly, and walk the necessary steps to actual change from the starting point of me being honest with myself.

I challenge myself to change myself within the presence of others, within slowing down and applying the necessary steps to correct and change myself so I am speaking words as me, not in reaction, but directly speaking based on what is here as me.

I challenge myself to enjoy the challenge of pushing my resistances to change myself, and to see it as an opportunity in each moment to realize myself and to stand up for myself as what is best for all.

I challenge myself to share who I am unconditionally with those who are able to hear

I challenge myself explore new ways of expressing myself, to redefine expression as no longer within the fear of embarrassment, rather cutting through all the judgement bullshit and getting to the critical point of exposing the lies and deception in our world that has been promoted by a system of dishonesty.