Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 57

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of dullness.  I realize that dullness is of the mind/ego where my mind is attempting to dictate a mood and feeling as an experience of self-suppression.  When and as I see myself within the dullness frame of mind/limitation of mind, I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself in and as my physical body to do what is necessary to be done to take responsibility for myself and all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear directing myself as physical movement because my mind tells me that it will cost me energy.  At the same time my mind wants to consume energy for itself rather than me giving my energy to life as what is best for all, because when I do that, the mind cannot feed off of my physical body and so the mind will starve and cease to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist directing myself for fear that I will be exhausted.  To exhaust myself in changing myself to become Equal to the physical is actually the great opportunity I am dedicated to giving myself so that I can honor all life with my existence rather than consume the physical through energy which depletes the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in each moment that to desire experiences such as happiness, comfort, peace, love, joy or any feeling or emotion good or bad - only for myself - is separation and deception.  I realize that all selfish desires are fleeting, and not real if they cannot be shared Equally among ALL that exist.  That is why we must start over, from nothingness, so that all may be shared Equally by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the tremendous gift of opportunity as the portal-to-unity as a chance to change myself and to realize myself here within self-honesty and self-responsibility in this lifetime. I am grateful for this magnificent opportunity and in so commit myself to assist in birthing life as Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'puffed up' with knowledge and information as 'hot air' floating into the mind as consciousness, spiteful and ignorant of what is right under, in, and as my nose. My nose knows the duality/polarity of consciousness, and at the same time it is the key, the primary point where breath physically enters my body, therefore my nose is aware if I am directing my breath or not... and if not, then what is? If not, where am I? Do I exist?  Where and how can I exist if I do not direct the breath?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself through knowledge and information, rather than directing myself as Equal to all that is here as me.  I realize that if I use knowledge and information to make myself 'appear intelligent' or 'better than' others I am only boosting the false image of myself in my mind.  In this I realize I must slow myself down when interacting with others so I can assist myself to be aware of any fears that may arise, so I can clear myself without jumping on the first thought that comes to mind.  In this I discipline myself with patience, to take responsibility to direct my words as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear appearing foolish to others because I may stumble with my corrective application as I learn how to direct myself - as a baby learning to walk for the first time.  Within this I realize that the fear of appearing foolish is actually an opportunity to enjoy the inevitable comedy of the moment.


I commit myself to continue to write out points that I have not fully integrated into and as myself until I get it and I am stable in living the application of my words.

I commit myself to push myself to take responsibility for myself in fully executing self-correction.

I commit myself to be aware of the fear of appearing foolish, where this may allow me to discover points where I have previously hidden issues from myself.

I commit myself to use this opportunity to change myself and my world so that all life can be supported physically and practically in Equality, such as would happen if we all supported an Equal Money System.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 55 - Self Realization

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed my mind as a system to direct and control my physical body.  I realize that by allowing my mind to be the master of my physical body and reality, I have abdicated myself to a system of enslavement. 

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to direct myself, my physical body, my breathing and through those applications I can have a clear starting point to direct my world and reality without being influenced by a mind system which feeds off the physical as a parasite seeking an energy fix as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that allowing my mind to direct and control me, is giving my power away to a system of enslavement through energy.  I realize that enslavement diminishes me and does not support life or what is best for all, therefore slavery is unacceptable and is the enemy of life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious truth that is right before my eyes - as ME - as the physical reality.  How could I possibly not see that the physical for what it is - as the reflection of what I have manifested myself as in separation from myself, through spitefulness and fear of facing who I am for real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that spitefulness to myself, everyone else, and my world is the most hideous form of cruelty which is perpetuated through DENIAL and false appearances for the sake of SELF-INDULGENCE and SELF-INTEREST, where people only CLAIM to love and care,  yet all our loving and caring is nothing more than an insult to life – Because we do not stand AS EQUALS! I realize that love and care in they eyes of this world is abused through denying reality, in exchange for a temporary illusion, a fleeting feeling, and/or an energy rush...all of which is of consciousness and therefore deceitful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think I can blame the system, or blame politicians, or blame bankers or blame god, or blame some higher power, or blame my parents, or blame my friends, or blame my teachers, or blame my boss.  I realize that no-one can take responsibility for me, and I must be the one to stand and walk myself out of the brutal consequences I have created for myself through my self-dishonesty to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fearing who I am and fearing what I will lose in this reality if I stand for life as Equality.  I realize that I can never hide from myself and I am FULLY AWARE of each action I take that does/does not support all life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to stand for all life as Equality - as what is best for all - is THE HIGHEST HONOR any being can attain – as standing as an Equal, as breath, as the physical – and there is no other honor worthy of life in this current reality – as all other honors and awards are based in self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge on those who I have blamed as evil, when all along I have been lying to myself because I am the creator of evil in this world and it is my responsibility to stand for life alone.  I realize that if I desire revenge on another, I am desiring revenge for myself and therefore I will not transcend my mind as the seeker of vain glory and personal gratification within and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prey on the weak and disadvantaged in my world through using, and abusing a money system that is utterly corrupt, brutal and insidious in nature.  A system which only protects the abusive people and abusive system through portraying a pretty picture of false love, false hope and false life.

I commit myself to re-defining my world and reality within the context of Equality as what is best for all, so we can stop the illusion and bring about a real change in our physical world so that all life can be honored Equally.

I commit myself to direct myself from the starting point of me here, as the source of existence, working for the single purpose of birthing myself as life in and as the physical, so that we can put an end all abuse of life forever.

I commit myself to understand - through research and the free support offered through Desteni group – and face my fears, because I realize that fears are harmful in that they create consequence for me and others in my world and reality. Therefore when and as I see a fear within me, I stop and breathe.  I then address the fear to deconstruct the starting point of the fear, so that I may re-align myself as being here, as a physical being seeking the best interest of all rather than just living for myself in self-interest.

I commit myself to walk my process of self-honesty and self-correction, and self-realization until it is done and there exists no separation, abuse or deception - anywhere in existence whatsoever. 

Day 22 - Emotions Energy and My Physical Body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to be directed and controlled by personal 

emotions and feelings, in that I have allowed myself  

to create emotions and feelings based on fear-of-loss 

and fear-of-death, not realizing within myself that I 

am responsible for stopping those feelings and 

emotions from raping and controlling me, so that I 

can stand for life as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to believe that I was separate from my reality 

and therefore justify my emotional reactions as 

'defending myself' from my self-created fears through 

separation whereas I viewed my mind as the totality 

of me in not wanting to equally take responsibility for 

All of the me's that I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to fuel my emotional reactions with thought 

energy and picture projections in my mind as 

justifications for those fears, when all along, those 

pictures were not the actuality of the situation, but a 

false representation presented so that I could remain 

enslaved to my fears.   And the energy is what I have

allowed myself to become addicted to as addiction to 

fear, through me fearing myself and attempting to 

comfort and escape myself.  It is obvious that I cannot

escape myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to extensively judge and condemn myself in 

guilt, shame, and regret in an attempt to punish 

myself for how consequences manifested in my life, 

rather than slow myself down within breath, and 

realize and understand how I was accepting and 

allowing undesirable consequences in my life 

experience and how I could realize the patterns I was 

creating and stop them from re-occurring. Within that,

I commit myself to change myself to stand in self-

responsibility to myself AND all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to blame others for my own emotional and 

feeling reactions, and the painful consequences that I 

experienced within my physical body.  In that I realize

that I neglected the experience of myself by neglecting

the fact that my physical body was specifically showing

me that I was not being honest with myself as I was 

trying to be a hero and appear as 'a good guy' to 

others by acting as an 'energy garbage collector' and 

thus attempting to purify everything through my mind,

rather than actually stand as an Equal and share 

responsibility with everyone through allowing 

everyone work out their own dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to place my trust in others and the advice of 

others before trusting myself as seeing myself as the 

point of responsibility in understanding myself and my

reality wherein I am capable of seeing - what is best 

for all is best for me - rather than trying to collect 

knowledge and information and so use it to gain power

over others as a false god of consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to think and believe the idea that my physical 

body is the personal property of my mind in which I 

have to defend through fear of losing my personal 

property.  I realize that while we are within this 

current system, place and time, it is common sense to

defend my body if physically threatened. My physical 

body is my primary point of responsibility as the 

vehicle where I learn to stand and express myself as a 

responsible steward-in-training until I am perfectly 

standing Equal to my physical body in standing as the

living expression of what is best for all life in all ways.

In that I realize that much abusiveness and delusion 

exists within our world, therefore I commit myself to 

take responsibility for my body, in not accepting 

and allowing my physical body to be subjected to 

abuse, harm or false sentiments of those who are 

ignorant and/or unaware of the consequences of 

inequality and of being subject/slave to a mind which 

only seeks its own self-interest at the expense of Life 

as a whole.

I will not trade Life for a bowl of soup. 

Image of an inside view of a heart

from http://science.nationalgeographic.com/science/photos/heart/#/inside-heart_1008_600x450.jpg