Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 55 - Self Realization

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed my mind as a system to direct and control my physical body.  I realize that by allowing my mind to be the master of my physical body and reality, I have abdicated myself to a system of enslavement. 

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to direct myself, my physical body, my breathing and through those applications I can have a clear starting point to direct my world and reality without being influenced by a mind system which feeds off the physical as a parasite seeking an energy fix as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that allowing my mind to direct and control me, is giving my power away to a system of enslavement through energy.  I realize that enslavement diminishes me and does not support life or what is best for all, therefore slavery is unacceptable and is the enemy of life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious truth that is right before my eyes - as ME - as the physical reality.  How could I possibly not see that the physical for what it is - as the reflection of what I have manifested myself as in separation from myself, through spitefulness and fear of facing who I am for real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that spitefulness to myself, everyone else, and my world is the most hideous form of cruelty which is perpetuated through DENIAL and false appearances for the sake of SELF-INDULGENCE and SELF-INTEREST, where people only CLAIM to love and care,  yet all our loving and caring is nothing more than an insult to life – Because we do not stand AS EQUALS! I realize that love and care in they eyes of this world is abused through denying reality, in exchange for a temporary illusion, a fleeting feeling, and/or an energy rush...all of which is of consciousness and therefore deceitful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think I can blame the system, or blame politicians, or blame bankers or blame god, or blame some higher power, or blame my parents, or blame my friends, or blame my teachers, or blame my boss.  I realize that no-one can take responsibility for me, and I must be the one to stand and walk myself out of the brutal consequences I have created for myself through my self-dishonesty to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fearing who I am and fearing what I will lose in this reality if I stand for life as Equality.  I realize that I can never hide from myself and I am FULLY AWARE of each action I take that does/does not support all life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to stand for all life as Equality - as what is best for all - is THE HIGHEST HONOR any being can attain – as standing as an Equal, as breath, as the physical – and there is no other honor worthy of life in this current reality – as all other honors and awards are based in self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge on those who I have blamed as evil, when all along I have been lying to myself because I am the creator of evil in this world and it is my responsibility to stand for life alone.  I realize that if I desire revenge on another, I am desiring revenge for myself and therefore I will not transcend my mind as the seeker of vain glory and personal gratification within and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prey on the weak and disadvantaged in my world through using, and abusing a money system that is utterly corrupt, brutal and insidious in nature.  A system which only protects the abusive people and abusive system through portraying a pretty picture of false love, false hope and false life.

I commit myself to re-defining my world and reality within the context of Equality as what is best for all, so we can stop the illusion and bring about a real change in our physical world so that all life can be honored Equally.

I commit myself to direct myself from the starting point of me here, as the source of existence, working for the single purpose of birthing myself as life in and as the physical, so that we can put an end all abuse of life forever.

I commit myself to understand - through research and the free support offered through Desteni group – and face my fears, because I realize that fears are harmful in that they create consequence for me and others in my world and reality. Therefore when and as I see a fear within me, I stop and breathe.  I then address the fear to deconstruct the starting point of the fear, so that I may re-align myself as being here, as a physical being seeking the best interest of all rather than just living for myself in self-interest.

I commit myself to walk my process of self-honesty and self-correction, and self-realization until it is done and there exists no separation, abuse or deception - anywhere in existence whatsoever. 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 28 - Surprise

Ok so took a little bike ride this evening while thinking of my blog topic, was planning on addressing the falseness of how love is expressed in our world, but that will have to wait for another time, as something unexpected occurred.

It was dusk, and I was on my way back home when I saw a faint shadow by the edge of the road.  I thought it was a porcupine but it turned out to be a baby raccoon. So I went up to it and picked it up - very young baby right by the side of the road.  I immediately wanted to keep it, but was not really sure of all the implications and so I let him down and he awkwardly stumbled away. I was thinking this is strange him being all alone like this.  So I went closer to him and he stumbled a bit further away. I assumed he didn't want to come home with me.  Then I noticed a cardboard box and a plastic food tray nearby and hear another little squeaking in the bush. Sure enough another little one popped out.

So it appears that someone found the youngsters and left them by the road in the box.  So I put them in the box and took them home.  When I got to my house, I saw a pack of 4 raccoons at my driveway.  I sometimes leave food out for them so they are often around my house.  I thought if I could get them to realize I had two of their pups, maybe they would take them... but how could I do that.  I dunno.  Now what lol.

I took them inside and tried to feed them but they were too frightened to eat.  They were afraid to move until I began petting them, and then they began hobbling about.  I pet them for a while till  they got comfortable and calmed down and eventually began to fall asleep.  

On the back of one's head was a bit raw and I thought he was injured, but the other had been licking it in an effort to comfort eachother, so I knew they were under some stress. 

The sounds they make are really interesting, the sound is almost like a cross between a cats purr and a monkey.  I would really like to keep them, I realize there is a big responsibility and I don't know what all is entailed, will have to do some research.  I suspect that people in this area would frown on having raccoons as pets.  Will have to see what happens I guess.  I'm really not sure what to do at this point.  They are sleeping on my couch atm. 

In an Equal Money System all life would be cared for without question.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 26 - Life for Sale

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself for money and/or credit, as a false valuation of myself, so that I could be seen by others as special, gifted, strong, caring, wise, beautiful and powerful, in the desire to be 'more valuable' than others, foolishly thinking that I could find love and happiness in under/over-valuing myself.  Fearing myself,  I attempted to pass off the responsibility to someone else to 'save me', 'love me' and 'give me myself', not realizing that I was the one deceiving and denying myself. 

In so, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others in order to hide myself from the shame I experienced in hiding myself from myself, because I feared the valuations and judgement of others.  As fearing my own reflection, I traded the truth of me for the image in the reflection of my mind, culminating in my worst nightmare, as self-denial, anger, and self-abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself for a momentary energy high, as a rush of temporary bliss - a bump in the graph of my monotonous existence - totally neglecting that what I was doing was seeking my own selfish satisfaction in the disregard of others, and that the energy highs had deadly consequences, which were only causing me to desire more and more and more, to get higher and higher and higher in my egotistical desire, in the hope that I could one day escape it all.

In realizing this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself, through my selfish desire to be more, get more, and have more,  I neglected the fact that the only solution is to realize myself as Equal to my world and reality, and in that I am responsible to care for myself and others Equally so that I can finally get off the energy roller-coaster, and bring myself home to the end of all selfish and insatiable desires. I realize that everything I do always comes back to me - here, and that I can never escape myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trade myself for the illusion of being 'good at something' or a 'winner', in the belief that the ultimate goal of life is to score the most goals/get the most money and WIN.  When in fact, all I was doing was perpetuating the false belief that 'I am somehow better', as if I can take credit for who I am, when who I am is determined by all of existence as me.  As if, through winning, I can conquer and subdue the world, because I am so good and I don't need support from anyone.

In that, I realize that my world and reality is threatened with total annihilation - because of competition, and the desire to win and conquer the physical world we live in.  Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in competition/desire to win/desire for money, fame and glory when I see that these desires are self-deception which only bring destruction to me and everyone. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sell myself for the false reward of FALSE HUMILITY.  I realize that false humility is any action that I take wherein I try to make myself feel better, secretly thinking I am a 'good person'.  When what is really happening is I am abdicating my responsibility to everyone as a whole in thinking that I am good and others are 'less good' or evil in a secret-mind polarity game. 

I realize that the only solution to stop abuse in our world is to stop the problem at the source, through realizing we are all Equally responsible for creating the self-destructive money system currently in place in our world.  When I participate in a false humility such as - thinking that I am a 'good person' because I give to charity - or smiling to people to try and brighten someones day, or doing something good for the planet, or giving a gift to someone in an act of kindness, or promoting a 'good cause' without standing for the only solution which is best for all, I stop - and realize the game I am playing in my mind is not solving the problem, but making it worse, because I am only playing a mind game with myself, and therefore not taking responsibility to support the only solution on the grand scale of Life - Equal Money for All. 
 
I commit myself to not longer accept and allow myself to sell myself for false rewards such as false humility.

I commit myself to not longer accept and allow myself to sell myself for false rewards of thinking I am a winner through participation in competition, which is self-denial and abuse of myself.

I commit myself to not longer accept and allow myself to sell myself for false rewards as false and temporary energy highs, which only serve to slowly diminish and destroy me through my fear of facing myself.

I commit myself to stand accountable for all of existence, my world and my reality and to no longer accept and allow myself to sell myself in selfish desires for false rewards of personal happiness and love which have never helped the world in any way.