Day 117 – The End of All Selfishness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that love can only exist if Life exists, and that love can only be real when it is given Equal value as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the extent to which I have allowed neglect and spite to exist, and the extent to which it causes pain, fear, suffering and sorrow, and the extent to which it is so easily swept away and forgotten in the mind, only to be re-enacted through the very same cycle within the desire for selfish experiences, as limited joy, and pretentious love.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clearly see and understand, that the problem has a root within myself, and that unless the root of the problem is corrected, the problem continues to physically consume me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the solution to the problem as simply taking responsibility to change myself, to give up selfishness… and in doing so, I can contribute to the solution to the root of the problem, to bring an end to fear, suffering, sorrow and all enslavement forever. 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity, that Equality as What is Best for All is the absolute solution to all problems, as everyone working together for the common sense practical solutions to assist all Life to have an Equal opportunity to express and enjoy Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through the inner valuation and judgments of my secret mind, I have participated and given my support to the greater valuation system, in spite of myself and as all of existence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Life cannot exist within competition, conflict and careless consumption, nor can it exist within a valuation system where Life is regarded as the lowest of all values, in favor of self-indulging experience as greed, as this results in Life itself being consumed, for nothing.

I commit myself to creating myself as Equal to Life so that love can exist for real, as Life, as me

I commit myself to abandon all selfish desire, so that I may honor myself and All as Equal so that Life can be of real value

I commit myself to understanding the common sense that the root of the problem must be corrected and lived within myself

I commit myself to realize the simplicity of changing myself to live Equality, and to work for common sense practical solutions that will give every being an opportunity to live, express and enjoy the gift of Life

I commit myself to make a stand against all valuations and judgments so that we can replace this valuation system for a system where Life can be supported

I commit myself to give Life as Equality the highest value so that a valuation system is no longer necessary, as all can exist Equal to Life.

Day 95 - Pride and Vanity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Proud about things I have done in my life without realizing that pride exists in polarity to Shame and Humiliation, and as such, Pride is a false perception of myself in ignorance of the totality of myself.  I realize that Pride is an attempt to make myself appear 'better than' who I am, and so others within the mind, so that I can for a moment believe that I can escape the fear of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become - as existing completely within and as Fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Pride/Ego/Mind is what I have created, based on the interpretation of what I perceived as being myself (or no-self), as perceiving myself through and as consciousness, as a collection of defined symbols based on knowledge and information.  In so, I believed the Light to be who I am and/or who 'god' is, never realizing that this perception is in separation from the totality of myself, as the light and the darkness and all of existence, where the darkness is actually the starting point of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow Pride and Vanity to dictate my behavior, and define who I am, and in so I believed myself to be 'less than' the totality of who I am as all.  Thus in fear of diminishing, I have manifested the diminishment of myself to a collection of one dimensional ideas, definitions, perceptions, opinions, and beliefs of myself, rather than seeing, realizing, understanding and being myself here as Equal to, and One with the physical. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself from myself in and as Pride, and so making Pride the most difficult, aspect of myself to see, yet at the same time the most obvious because it is hidden in plain sight, as the very thing I was hiding myself within, and so allowing myself to think that I must achieve the highest form of Pride in the forms of happiness, love, bliss, ego, and consciousness within seeking self-gratification through energy in separation of myself as all, and therefore I manifested self-interest, greed, desire and all forms of abuse of Life as myself as All.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand the statement of Solomon in the bible "Vanity of vanities, All is vanity" which implies that even God was in Vain, and so I too feigned Vanity as myself, never realizing that the solution to Vanity was right here within in the Veins of the physical body, where All have the opportunity and are able to change to stop living in Vain, and so realize themselves as flesh and veins to become the directive principle of Life through Self Forgiveness and living what is Best for All.
 
I commit myself to realize that whenever I find myself hiding from myself, I realize I am acting within and as the deceptive character of Pride.  I realize that Pride is where I Pretend to Hide as just 'Part of the Ride' in the Van of Vanity where I am taken for a ride in my false perception/idea of Life, as opposed to taking responsibility to direct myself within and as breath. 

I commit myself to face all points of Pride within myself so that I no longer accept and allow Pride to exist as the director and controller of myself as being a slave and servant of Pride. 

I commit myself to realize the Hidden Cost and Consequence for Pride and Vanity - Shame, Humiliation, Death and Destruction of Life.

I commit myself to carefully consider the vast extent to which Pride and Vanity has been allowed to infiltrate existence through FEAR of Self, and so to not slight myself within my process through assumption and miscalculation in the great and subtle deception of Pride.

I commit myself to live what is best for me, as who I actually am as All, therefore what is Best for All is best for me.

Day 75 - The Ultimate Root of All Evil - FamiLIES

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - when I was a child, give in to fear as believing it to be greater and more powerful than myself, and in so create the belief that my Parents were God, and so I Worshiped them and perceived them as something I had to attain to, as 'Higher', and 'Better Than' myself, and so I allowed them to teach and Program me that - they were always Right, Just and honest.  Yet what I did not realize was that my Parents were Imposters of God, and this was a reflection of me, of how I imposed fear on myself, with the resultant consequence of me caving in to the Fear of Death, as the memories of trauma and pain I experienced at birth. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a Parent - as an Imposter of God - with the appearance of goodness, while in reality I was a Wicked Deceiver of Life, because I only cared about my Characters Limited Perception of Reality in Selfishness, as the false belief that I am 'Better Than' my child, and so I refused to be honest with myself and take responsibility for all Life as Equal as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do good deeds and promote 'good' causes, to hide and cover up my Selfishness, as the Desire for Power and Higher Status in my family system.  I realize that I was reluctant to For-Give myself due to fear - not realizing that this manifested and fueled the abuse of Life, as my personal Revenge on myself, through self-deception in the false beliefs of who I AM as separate from my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself in the character and role of a Pay-Rent, so that I could feel good about myself within my Secret desire to Dominate Life, as Revenge for the pain I felt because I had accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself through being Dominated by my own Pay-Rents.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the consequences of imposing my will as Vengeance on physically weaker and defenseless children through me programming them in my belief systems - through using my own crafty fear based system of reward and punishment - to re-enforce their fear for their survival, and so forcing my children to believe that they have to deceive themselves in creating for themselves a False Morality System, if they want to avoid suffering and survive in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a Parent, create the false idea of Heaven, wherein if my child Obeys my Holy Command(ment)s as a good Servant and Slave, they will be rewarded peace, comfort, rest, food, Television and Games. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Force my children through reward and punishment, to believe that if they don't follow my Rules and Serve my Holy Opinions as a Self-Righteous Parent God, they will go through a life of Hell, as Fear, Anger, and Suffering that I projected and created for them in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, as a Grand Parent, to portray the Care-actor of myself as a form of Supreme Righteousness and Holiness through my perfected Art of Deception and Subversion, as the appearance of gentleness, kindness and false love so that I could in fear, Win the Favor of the child as a Favorite, in order to re-enforce their belief in the system of Lies as the FamiLIE.  As the Grand Parent, I am often the one who smLIES the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an Evil Dictator of Life as a Parent, as I am the first and primary influence on a child when it is born, therefore I am directly responsible for the creation and development of a child, thus I am directly responsible for making sure that the child creates and accepts Characteristics as Personalities for him/herself, as suppression of self, rather than live the True Expression of self in self-honesty, as a physical expression of Equality, as what is Best for All.

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Hierarchy, Dictatorship and Control as The Fam-I-LIE 

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Belief Systems, False Hopes, and False Dreams - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Pride, Valuation, and Ownership - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Competition, Greed, and Lust for Power - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Secrets, Pretentiousness, and Hate  - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Rejection, Fear, and Loneliness - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Domination, Submission and Predation - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Imposters, Characters, and False Gods - FamiLIES
 
I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Wickedness, Deception and Lies - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Fakeness, Fuckedness, and Evil Suppression of Life - FamiLIES

I commit myself to Reveal what is Real as Self - Here, as Equality - In that all must Change to no longer be Enslaved to False Fears which are Hosted and Bred through - FamiLIES. 


I commit myself to See/Realize/Understand that without FamiLIES, Each Being would have no choice but to become Self-Responsible to Life, and so Life would be born in the Physical For Real.

Day 74 - You're Special

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that in thinking I am special, I have actually allowed myself to become just a spec of the I of all, in separation and denial of all as me, thus when my body dies, it breaks down to specs of dust of the earth that will no longer animate my special characters. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special, in so much that I create hypothetical situations in my mind, in trying to imagine what I would be like if everyone saw this care-actor and were so astounded by my words that they all talked about me and my great character amongst themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as a special character and so create imaginary dimensions in my mind as thoughts and judgements against others, so as to promote myself in seeking the attention and worship of others, because in the beLIEf that I am special, my point of view is more valuable, more profound, and strangely unique.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my personal feelings about someone are more valid than another beings feelings, because I believe I am special, I am an env(o)y of the universe sent to bring love and joy to everyone - even though most people do not appear to see my special character that I create in the magical world of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust that my magical character in my mind will save me from harm when danger threatens me.  I realize that I do this to bring a false sense of comfort to my special characters.  I realize that my magical mind character, my spirit guide that keeps me safe, is actually a reflection of my self-dishonesty - because I am too afraid to face the real consequences of what I have created, accepted, and allowed in the physical world - as absolute self-denial of who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create both an angel character to compliment me and validate my goodness, and also a demonic character whom I can blame everything on when I am faced with the actual physical consequences of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become - as a bi-polar mind slave that denies myself in the desire for excitement, as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in my lust for attention and energy, and in my decision to submit to fear, I have accepted myself as a compromise, a partial truth, of who I really am, and thus the partial truth of me is therefore the acceptance of me as the complete lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create thoughts in my mind as gods, demons, angels, masters, serving peasants, perverted liars and cheaters of life.  I realize that I have justified these characters as 'normal' and 'acceptable' in the I belief that 'I need them to survive', and 'I am strong and in control of my mind',  and 'I am good and would never let them get out of hand'.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create these characters in full understanding that these thoughts create severe consequences in my physical world, and thus all the torture, suffering and enslavement of the world is because of my thoughts, as I have loved my secret and selfish desires - at the extreme cost of making others pay the real price for my dishonesty, proving that I have feared death, suffering and have neglected my true self as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the simple, humble, caring and loving characters as a cover-up to hide the real me.  I realize that these cover ups are all very thin veils, and that anyone, even children and others who use fake characters, can easily see through my disguises, even though they be unwilling to drop the charade for themselves.

I commit myself to drop the charade and face myself and reality for real.

I commit myself to realize that fear is the con of consciousness which causes unnecessary and extreme suffering.

I commit myself to research and understand how I created this false mind-reality

I commit myself to stand for what is best for all.

I commit myself to changing myself from being a slave to my secret mind, to one who exposes the truth of myself to myself.

I commit myself to investing in the one and only solution to life as Equality for all

I commit myself to the journey to life, to nothingness so life can be born in the physical as best for all

I commit myself to distinguish with common sense - what is necessary for life, and what is not

I commit myself to give all of myself to life through self-forgiveness, as I would like to receive of life.

Day 67 - The Non-Religious Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe religious behavior in others, and judge them as 'false' and 'religious', while not facing or realizing the point within myself that ANY belief is a religion, thus whenever I lay claim to a definition of myself as 'anti-religious' or 'atheist' or 'agnostic' or 'an authentic believer/person' in order to validate my character, I realize that I myself am playing a character in my self-created unique religion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study and memorize the beliefs of others so that I can repeat those beliefs as if I found or created them for myself, when all they were was a copy of a script for the play of my character in my mind, used to deceive myself and others in the overarching grand belief that life is to be lived as a spiteful character who supports lies and false appearances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study how people of authority are valued by others, and so pretend to be wise myself, as a copy of those I have seen as having significant influence on others - in an attempt to increase the value and validity of my own character so I can continue to hide from myself and promote opinionated, one-dimensional beliefs based on fear and greed - in spite of myself and what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Identify myself with those in authority and devise ways to get their attention in unique ways, so that I can be seen by others interacting with that person in order to gain credibility, status and power over programmable sheep who will in turn propagate my beliefs in an infinite cycle of abuse, to the detriment of all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kiss ass when around those of authority, perceived influence or 'power', so that I may be perceived as a figure of wisdom, intelligence and authority myself, in an attempt to inflate and validate my false character, in self-hate and self-delusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid, and spitefully talk down to, those who do not appear to hold value - in the eyes of those I wish to deceive with my character, and in so relish in the energetic rush I get from thinking and believing I am better than another, in my false identity and perceived ability to pass a knowledge or opinion based judgement on another.
   
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make subtle, and insulting jokes towards those who do not hold the same values as my character holds.  I realize that my jokes are an attempt to demean and devalue one who does not appreciate the value and all the hard work I put into creating my false character.  I realize that these jokes are tactful and often used in front of those whom have no integrity and will laugh because I laughed, thus validating the humorous side of my character, which gives my character the appearance of depth and of being well rounded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use name dropping of people who are influential, and perceived by others as powerful or strong in character, in order that I may be attributed by others as having influence myself, in my own false character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote charitable and/or activist causes, so that I can appears to be a person who is concerned with the well being of others, or humanity as a whole, yet I am secretly only concerned about my own character, and how that false entity is perceived by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote my vast knowledge on subjects that will grant my character more credibility with others, by memorizing and regurgitating information, and trendy catch phrases that guarantee a positive or humorous reaction amongst those who cannot distinguish the false character from the physical being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep up to date with the latest trends, so as to appear to be on the crest of evolutionary understanding by way of promoting the most recent information, which my character believes, will give me honor with those I hold in high regard, yet I have spitefully used that information to leverage myself against those I perceived to be weak, and of less value than my character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear clothing that will make me appear to be in line with the authority figure of my preference, whom I have idolized as being powerful and righteous in my mind as my puffed up ego of illusionary fantasy, while in actuality, my character cares nothing, as to him, life is just a game to be played, and winning is all that matters.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surround myself with 'lost puppies' whom have little integrity in order to appear to have a following, yet when an opportunity arises to mingle with those of higher authority occurs, I will ditch the lost puppies and act as if I barely knew them at all because I, as my character, only value the appearance of authenticity.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 55 - Self Realization

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed my mind as a system to direct and control my physical body.  I realize that by allowing my mind to be the master of my physical body and reality, I have abdicated myself to a system of enslavement. 

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to direct myself, my physical body, my breathing and through those applications I can have a clear starting point to direct my world and reality without being influenced by a mind system which feeds off the physical as a parasite seeking an energy fix as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that allowing my mind to direct and control me, is giving my power away to a system of enslavement through energy.  I realize that enslavement diminishes me and does not support life or what is best for all, therefore slavery is unacceptable and is the enemy of life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious truth that is right before my eyes - as ME - as the physical reality.  How could I possibly not see that the physical for what it is - as the reflection of what I have manifested myself as in separation from myself, through spitefulness and fear of facing who I am for real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that spitefulness to myself, everyone else, and my world is the most hideous form of cruelty which is perpetuated through DENIAL and false appearances for the sake of SELF-INDULGENCE and SELF-INTEREST, where people only CLAIM to love and care,  yet all our loving and caring is nothing more than an insult to life – Because we do not stand AS EQUALS! I realize that love and care in they eyes of this world is abused through denying reality, in exchange for a temporary illusion, a fleeting feeling, and/or an energy rush...all of which is of consciousness and therefore deceitful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think I can blame the system, or blame politicians, or blame bankers or blame god, or blame some higher power, or blame my parents, or blame my friends, or blame my teachers, or blame my boss.  I realize that no-one can take responsibility for me, and I must be the one to stand and walk myself out of the brutal consequences I have created for myself through my self-dishonesty to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fearing who I am and fearing what I will lose in this reality if I stand for life as Equality.  I realize that I can never hide from myself and I am FULLY AWARE of each action I take that does/does not support all life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to stand for all life as Equality - as what is best for all - is THE HIGHEST HONOR any being can attain – as standing as an Equal, as breath, as the physical – and there is no other honor worthy of life in this current reality – as all other honors and awards are based in self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge on those who I have blamed as evil, when all along I have been lying to myself because I am the creator of evil in this world and it is my responsibility to stand for life alone.  I realize that if I desire revenge on another, I am desiring revenge for myself and therefore I will not transcend my mind as the seeker of vain glory and personal gratification within and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prey on the weak and disadvantaged in my world through using, and abusing a money system that is utterly corrupt, brutal and insidious in nature.  A system which only protects the abusive people and abusive system through portraying a pretty picture of false love, false hope and false life.

I commit myself to re-defining my world and reality within the context of Equality as what is best for all, so we can stop the illusion and bring about a real change in our physical world so that all life can be honored Equally.

I commit myself to direct myself from the starting point of me here, as the source of existence, working for the single purpose of birthing myself as life in and as the physical, so that we can put an end all abuse of life forever.

I commit myself to understand - through research and the free support offered through Desteni group – and face my fears, because I realize that fears are harmful in that they create consequence for me and others in my world and reality. Therefore when and as I see a fear within me, I stop and breathe.  I then address the fear to deconstruct the starting point of the fear, so that I may re-align myself as being here, as a physical being seeking the best interest of all rather than just living for myself in self-interest.

I commit myself to walk my process of self-honesty and self-correction, and self-realization until it is done and there exists no separation, abuse or deception - anywhere in existence whatsoever.