Day 67 - The Non-Religious Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe religious behavior in others, and judge them as 'false' and 'religious', while not facing or realizing the point within myself that ANY belief is a religion, thus whenever I lay claim to a definition of myself as 'anti-religious' or 'atheist' or 'agnostic' or 'an authentic believer/person' in order to validate my character, I realize that I myself am playing a character in my self-created unique religion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study and memorize the beliefs of others so that I can repeat those beliefs as if I found or created them for myself, when all they were was a copy of a script for the play of my character in my mind, used to deceive myself and others in the overarching grand belief that life is to be lived as a spiteful character who supports lies and false appearances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to study how people of authority are valued by others, and so pretend to be wise myself, as a copy of those I have seen as having significant influence on others - in an attempt to increase the value and validity of my own character so I can continue to hide from myself and promote opinionated, one-dimensional beliefs based on fear and greed - in spite of myself and what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Identify myself with those in authority and devise ways to get their attention in unique ways, so that I can be seen by others interacting with that person in order to gain credibility, status and power over programmable sheep who will in turn propagate my beliefs in an infinite cycle of abuse, to the detriment of all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kiss ass when around those of authority, perceived influence or 'power', so that I may be perceived as a figure of wisdom, intelligence and authority myself, in an attempt to inflate and validate my false character, in self-hate and self-delusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid, and spitefully talk down to, those who do not appear to hold value - in the eyes of those I wish to deceive with my character, and in so relish in the energetic rush I get from thinking and believing I am better than another, in my false identity and perceived ability to pass a knowledge or opinion based judgement on another.
   
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make subtle, and insulting jokes towards those who do not hold the same values as my character holds.  I realize that my jokes are an attempt to demean and devalue one who does not appreciate the value and all the hard work I put into creating my false character.  I realize that these jokes are tactful and often used in front of those whom have no integrity and will laugh because I laughed, thus validating the humorous side of my character, which gives my character the appearance of depth and of being well rounded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use name dropping of people who are influential, and perceived by others as powerful or strong in character, in order that I may be attributed by others as having influence myself, in my own false character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote charitable and/or activist causes, so that I can appears to be a person who is concerned with the well being of others, or humanity as a whole, yet I am secretly only concerned about my own character, and how that false entity is perceived by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to promote my vast knowledge on subjects that will grant my character more credibility with others, by memorizing and regurgitating information, and trendy catch phrases that guarantee a positive or humorous reaction amongst those who cannot distinguish the false character from the physical being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep up to date with the latest trends, so as to appear to be on the crest of evolutionary understanding by way of promoting the most recent information, which my character believes, will give me honor with those I hold in high regard, yet I have spitefully used that information to leverage myself against those I perceived to be weak, and of less value than my character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear clothing that will make me appear to be in line with the authority figure of my preference, whom I have idolized as being powerful and righteous in my mind as my puffed up ego of illusionary fantasy, while in actuality, my character cares nothing, as to him, life is just a game to be played, and winning is all that matters.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surround myself with 'lost puppies' whom have little integrity in order to appear to have a following, yet when an opportunity arises to mingle with those of higher authority occurs, I will ditch the lost puppies and act as if I barely knew them at all because I, as my character, only value the appearance of authenticity.

Day 63 - Big Bang Theory

Reflecting on conversation I had with a young christian man yesterday, he curiously wanted to know how the universe as existence came into being - How did it happen?  He was very persistent, and held onto the belief that he had to KNOW what 'IT' was that caused existence.  He claimed it had to be some intelligent life-form/being - as 'God' that created us - as the source of all life.   So in looking at the question from a christian perspective, we can see there is an obvious conundrum.  If God created us and the universe as it says in the bible, then he must have had a form of intelligence to do so - so who created God - and his (apparent) intelligence? The bible says that in the beginning was the word, and the word was God.  So for the purpose of explanation, we can simplify this to - 'in the beginning was sound, and sound was existence as a whole'.  So where did the sound come from?  What caused the sound? - Because all we know of and are apparently able to understand in our limited mind/ego based existence, is cause and effect.

Firstly, let's say we found 'the answer', something that could be put into a plausible explanation such as a strange cosmic burp of some sort.  The very searching for the answer to this question, while it is interesting to consider - does not actually serve to help the situation on our planet in any way besides helping people to understand - so that we can each individually change ourselves to support life.

If one is to claim that all of existence is a dream or 'not actually real' - consider the fact that we experience (preventable and unnecessary) pain, suffering and ultimately death as proof enough that there is a problem that must be solved here.  Fascinatingly, the solution is rather simple, yet at the same time so extensive as to make it appear difficult.  We just need to remove the false perception so that we may begin to understand, and learn to apply ourselves in walking out the solution.

So to find the first cause of existence/the universe/everything, lets put this question to a kind of allegorical test.  For example, lets say the first sound - sounded something like 'boom'.  So the first cause/intonation was 'b(uh)' as the sound of the letter b.  If I am sounding that for myself, I have to use the muscles in my face to form the expression, in which I flex my muscles within my body to then vibrate the sound.  So to create the sound 'b(uh)', I have to first 'will' the sound.  If one believes in some higher power/god is controlling me to resonate this sound, then that would fall within the belief that we are not existing, we are completely non-existent and/or completely controlled robots. 

Thus I contend that the actual cause of the sound - comes from self, in this case me - as my 'will' or desire to express the sound I created and expressed with my physical body.  So within the sounding of 'b(uh)', I realize that I AM the source of the sound, as self-will, as my desire to express myself within and as sound. 

Fascinatingly, I do not need a reason to form and express the sound - 'b(uh)'.  I can do it for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.  Alternatively, one might say - I can create the sound from NOTHING.  One might say that I made the sound because 'I am trying to find the cause of the universe'. No - I can simply create the sound for no reason, no purpose, but myself being here expressing sound.  Try it for yourself if you still don't believe me.

Interestingly, it is only when we create a sound for a REASON that we are acting within a controlled system, and thereby locked within the confines and definition of that reason, as the sound that is created is based on the reason, and not unconditional self-expression.  For example, lets say I am hungry and want something to eat, yet I do not have any food.  So I ask for some food from someone that has food.  I create the sounds "May I have some food?"  My reason or cause for expressing is that I am hungry.  So my expression is not unconditional, rather it is limited to the consequence of the cause, and so becomes the directly related effect, tied to the cause/necessity and desire for something I want and do not have.  Therefore I must convey the message accurately, so that the other person will understand me, and I can acquire the food, otherwise I will go hungry.  Hence my expression is conditional and limited to my ability to articulate my desire. 

So getting back to the point, in concluding that 'nothing' is the starting point of my sound creation, we must then go on to ask ourselves, but what is the cause of nothing?  The answer to that would be - there does not need to be a cause of 'nothing', as 'nothing' simply IS...  It is source as self, which defies definition, abstract of the limitation we currently find ourselves in.   It is a starting point, thus all attempts to define it through knowledge are useless.   Our very existence as being here experiencing ourselves is adequate proof that 'it' or 'nothingness' exists.

The real problem is that we do not understand ourselves and our existence, and WHY such atrocities exist in our world and reality.  Through our lack of understanding source(nothingness) - as self - as us here, we have separated ourselves from source through false ideas and perceptions created about our reality and thus we exist within a delusional fear-ridden reality... culminating in a disgraceful existence on a one way track to our ultimate doom.  This is essential to be understood so that we can stop abuse of life and implement a solution that would correct our starting point, as it is not aligned with what is best for all - which in itself is the ONLY way in which life can be free of limitation and the evident abuse of life.

The concept is not difficult to grasp, it is only when a person is trapped within the limitation of mind/ego that they will have a problem, because likely one is either hoping for heaven, or fearing hell. Whether it be a religious belief, or merely the religion of self - as self-interest, either way it is blatant denial for which there is no excuse, because no one can deny the physical, as we are all here, supposedly sharing it, yet it is not being shared Equally as it should be.

For a person that believes in a 'higher power' or 'god' as an intelligent being that is separate from self as source,  one must carefully consider, and beware of the limitations imposed by belief systems such as this - as they are extensive and delude one into self-deception - because one does not see the actual starting point of their self-created belief system - which is fear.  This delusional fear blinds one to the common sense and practical solutions of what is here.  If fear(delusion) is the starting point, then that fear is accepted and allowed through self-dishonesty, and carries with it inevitable consequence equal and one to the starting point of fear - that is to say - fear creates fearful consequence, not only for oneself, but for all.

That is why we at Desteni are diligently applying self-forgiveness and corrective application so that we can remove the fear that we have allowed within ourselves, so we can change ourselves to align with source - as what is best for all - as best for all supports life, AND source, as unconditional expression.  I challenge everyone to investigate Desteni and to take the Desteni-I-Process course - if you have the courage to take self-responsibility, the fears and delusional belief systems we have all allowed to exist.