Day 224 - Learning to Trust the Physical

Learning to trust the physical is an interesting part of process.  When we drop all the fears we were living as/within before, we realize that we can no longer trust those mental ideas we had once placed so much of ourselves into.  We cannot trust experiences, because they are over as soon as they start, and so they do not  provided any lasting solution.  We cannot trust our expectations, because our expectations very rarely materialize the way we expect them too, thus untrustworthy.  We cannot trust our dreams, as that would be foolishly and blindly trusting in some higher power.   Besides that, look where all the dreams of humanity have brought us to... a planet and race on the brink of total collapse and annihilation?  Dreams are certainly untrustworthy then.  We cannot trust our feelings and we definitely cannot trust our thoughts.  Thoughts have an arbitrary origin and only serve the mind of pre-programmed beliefs and egotistical opinions.  Thoughts also produce feelings which, like an addictive drug, keep use enslaved to serving our own self interest rather than living in common sense as what is Best for All.

We cannot trust what our parents, friends, and teachers taught us, as we eventually realize that all of that indoctrination and add-vice was spoken in a desire to manipulate us into a certain behavior   Obviously the mind cannot be trusted, as the mind exists in fear, fearing for its own survival.   The mind seeks to avoid any and all responsibility - because if we were to actually take responsibility for ourselves and all life, the mind would have no place to exist.  The mind is the point of separation, which exists in conflict with the physical.

What if we were to place our complete trust in ourselves, as the physical?  What would it be like to walk every day in complete trust of oneself with no fear, expressing oneself in full responsibility and accountability towards all Life?  What would it be like, to not be enslaved to a government, or a corporation, or a fear, or a system, or a thought, or any feelings?  Who would I be, if I was not enslaved?  Is there a limit on what I could be and what I could not be?  Obviously, I am not the only one in existence here, so I must first do whatever is required to support all life Equally as myself, so as to sustain my own existence and the existence of others eternally.

Trusting the physical seems very strange, yet it is such a relief from all the fear.  I am here, and I express myself based on what is here as me.  I take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be created as, and in that way, I learn how to direct myself from the starting point of breath.   I realize how critical it is to be fully aware of every decision I make, and the consequences thereof.... As I now see the horrible path that irresponsibility, denial, positive feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires has lead me on.

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Day 183 - Spite the Spite

I realized have been blaming the subconscious mind - as the layers of thought which circulate within myself and others - for holding me back in my process.  In addition to that blame, I, as my mind, created opinions and beliefs about those subconscious thoughts as a means to condemn and disqualify myself from applying myself in my process.  I could also refer to it as my judgement thoughts of the thoughts.  From those judgments/beliefs/opinions, (which I also referred to as 'passive spite') I allowed myself to be drained of my 'will' to direct myself and pursue my journey to Life - as if I were to blame others perceptions of me (and/or the mirror images in my mind) for not allowing myself to stand for Life.

Seems to be such an incredibly simple, yet subtle, point in hindsight, and the obvious solution being - to spite the spite.  Apply myself despite what others may think of me.  Apply myself despite whether or not I believe I can do it or not.  Spite the fear of not being able to do it.  Spite the judgments and beliefs I had placed on the thoughts, through not accepting and allowing myself to judge the thoughts, or be influenced by them.  Just do it regardless, without looking for approval or disapproval - because I realize it is in the best interest of everyone, not just my selfish, fearful opinion of myself.

I was trying to save myself ahahahaa...
trying to save my mind hhmmmhmmhmm...

How is it possible for fear to keep me from that which I... dare I say the 'L' word.  Yet as long as I am in separation from myself as my mind, my 'love' is not real... still only a fantasy. I have the opportunity to stand by myself, for myself, for and as All - despite my minds opinions of whether or not a belief exists as to whether or not I am able to fulfill my commitment to myself - Life can exist within and as me, I just have to become Equal to it.

Spite the Spite,
All that is not the real me,
As the real me is the physical,
And nothing more.

Then it all becomes clear,
And I can learn to direct myself,
In Common Sense as
What is Best for All of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the subconscious mind for holding me back in my process.  I realize that I accepted and allowed those thoughts, ideas and beliefs to be 'more' than me rather than standing Equal to them and realizing that it was the mind attempting to disqualify me from applying myself in my process so I would not realize who I am as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge thoughts through the mirror of my mind and  classify them as personal beliefs about myself and others and so suppress and drain my will, and prevent myself from realizing myself for who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give fear and selfish opinion precedence over the physical me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create discord within myself through allowing thoughts as judgments and beliefs to dictate to me who and what I am and/or should be, rather than me directing who I am and living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and save my mind as the judgments and fearful opinions opinions of myself.

I commit myself to Spite the Spite, and so not accept and allow the illusions, the passive spite as thoughts, judgments, and beliefs to direct and control the manifested physical reality.



 

Day 71 - Self-Responsibility to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a character of responsibility of myself rather than stand as self-responsibility as myself here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny my responsibilities through postponement, in not wanting to face points within myself that require direction.  In doing so, I realize that I am abdicating my responsibility to myself and denying myself self-responsibility as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my responsibility to life, but through my opinion of responsibility, I fooled myself into believing that I was responsible and so never pushed myself to the point of actually living responsibility as myself here in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see responsibility as something separate from me here in each moment, wherein, I could easily deny self-responsibility because I could always fall back on my character as the idea that I was responsible, yet unless I live responsibility here in each moment, I am not yet fully responsible to life, but only taking part of my responsibility, and so accepting myself as 'less than' through my belief of me as a character of responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that me being here in every breath is the point of self-responsibility, where I am not acting within a predefined idea of what responsibility is, but rather deal with each situation that manifests in my reality so I can deal with it here as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to prepare myself for taking responsibility through thinking "what would I do if" and so then imagining how my character would portray himself in the movie of my mind which is not real.  I realize that me walking in breath moment to moment is the act of taking responsibility to stop my mind of thoughts and to stop being directed by feelings and emotions which only serve the illusion of me as a character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fake responsibility through thoughts of how I could be responsible in my mind, thus bolstering my mind characters ego and creating another layer of myself in my mind which has to be investigated, stopped, cleared through self-forgiveness, and walked out of in corrective application so that I can stop time-looping myself into oblivion.

I commit myself to push myself to take on more responsibilities for myself so that I can walk myself into changing and challenging myself rather than being charged with the consequences of not taking self-responsibility for myself as all as Equal.

I commit myself to create myself as the living word in the flesh

I commit myself re-define myself through words until no more definition is required, as all is Equal, and undefinable.

I commit myself to stop all definitions and characterizations of myself as being self-responsible.  I realize this is of no use whatsoever, and that self-responsibility is to become the living flesh without mind chatter.

I commit myself to beware of the responsibility character and all his facets, traits, attributes and false appearances within myself

I commit myself to devote myself to living self-responsibility as myself in each moment of breath, that way I walk responsibility here through practical living, in facing each and every point that must be dealt with and stopping all delusional fears which place me in time loops and limit me in my ability to take self-responsibility for real.

I commit myself face my responsibilities in each moment as they require direction from me, because I am the One that has created this mess on this planet and in this existence, therefore I am the One that can and must clean it up, and I am the One that will decide when and how life will be born for real in the physical, as I am the One, as life, as Equal, as all - who makes all the decisions to create Life as what is best for all.

For further reference please see:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
and
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/p/timeline.html

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 55 - Self Realization

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed my mind as a system to direct and control my physical body.  I realize that by allowing my mind to be the master of my physical body and reality, I have abdicated myself to a system of enslavement. 

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibility to direct myself, my physical body, my breathing and through those applications I can have a clear starting point to direct my world and reality without being influenced by a mind system which feeds off the physical as a parasite seeking an energy fix as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that allowing my mind to direct and control me, is giving my power away to a system of enslavement through energy.  I realize that enslavement diminishes me and does not support life or what is best for all, therefore slavery is unacceptable and is the enemy of life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the obvious truth that is right before my eyes - as ME - as the physical reality.  How could I possibly not see that the physical for what it is - as the reflection of what I have manifested myself as in separation from myself, through spitefulness and fear of facing who I am for real.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that spitefulness to myself, everyone else, and my world is the most hideous form of cruelty which is perpetuated through DENIAL and false appearances for the sake of SELF-INDULGENCE and SELF-INTEREST, where people only CLAIM to love and care,  yet all our loving and caring is nothing more than an insult to life – Because we do not stand AS EQUALS! I realize that love and care in they eyes of this world is abused through denying reality, in exchange for a temporary illusion, a fleeting feeling, and/or an energy rush...all of which is of consciousness and therefore deceitful.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to think I can blame the system, or blame politicians, or blame bankers or blame god, or blame some higher power, or blame my parents, or blame my friends, or blame my teachers, or blame my boss.  I realize that no-one can take responsibility for me, and I must be the one to stand and walk myself out of the brutal consequences I have created for myself through my self-dishonesty to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from myself in fearing who I am and fearing what I will lose in this reality if I stand for life as Equality.  I realize that I can never hide from myself and I am FULLY AWARE of each action I take that does/does not support all life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to stand for all life as Equality - as what is best for all - is THE HIGHEST HONOR any being can attain – as standing as an Equal, as breath, as the physical – and there is no other honor worthy of life in this current reality – as all other honors and awards are based in self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge on those who I have blamed as evil, when all along I have been lying to myself because I am the creator of evil in this world and it is my responsibility to stand for life alone.  I realize that if I desire revenge on another, I am desiring revenge for myself and therefore I will not transcend my mind as the seeker of vain glory and personal gratification within and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prey on the weak and disadvantaged in my world through using, and abusing a money system that is utterly corrupt, brutal and insidious in nature.  A system which only protects the abusive people and abusive system through portraying a pretty picture of false love, false hope and false life.

I commit myself to re-defining my world and reality within the context of Equality as what is best for all, so we can stop the illusion and bring about a real change in our physical world so that all life can be honored Equally.

I commit myself to direct myself from the starting point of me here, as the source of existence, working for the single purpose of birthing myself as life in and as the physical, so that we can put an end all abuse of life forever.

I commit myself to understand - through research and the free support offered through Desteni group – and face my fears, because I realize that fears are harmful in that they create consequence for me and others in my world and reality. Therefore when and as I see a fear within me, I stop and breathe.  I then address the fear to deconstruct the starting point of the fear, so that I may re-align myself as being here, as a physical being seeking the best interest of all rather than just living for myself in self-interest.

I commit myself to walk my process of self-honesty and self-correction, and self-realization until it is done and there exists no separation, abuse or deception - anywhere in existence whatsoever. 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 53 - Enjoy the Challenge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in a rush while working because I fear not making money fast enough.  When and as I notice myself rushing and pushing myself to hard, I stop and breathe for a moment to slow myself down so that I am not allowing my mind to dictate the pace.  I realize that I must direct myself in each moment and no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of not having money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that consistency is the most effective and practical method to direct myself so that I can be effective in my work and direct myself in and as the physical.  If I am rushing, I must stop myself and check whether my starting point is fear or me directing myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all situations I find myself in are self-created, and so I must walk out the consequences.  Within that I realize that I must stop myself from creating consequences by directing myself in and as breath in every moment, not reacting to situations but directing them as myself in what is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my programmed personality based on my parents personalities and how they dealt with issues such as frustration and anxiety.  I no longer accept and allow myself to grasp onto a personality, but rather I face myself here in the challenge to change myself and direct myself in each moment, so that I can align myself with the physical as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear directing myself in each moment, as if I would fear facing myself as how I have created myself.  I realize that in taking responsibility for myself here, I must walk the consequences of what I have created, so that I can challenge myself to change myself in undoing what I have done and created as myself as this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that facing resistances and challenging my personality/ego/mind is the way to freeing myself from self-created consequence, and therefore I enjoy that challenge and I enjoy taking responsibility for myself rather than exist as a slave robot to a system of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on a nice face, smile or laugh to make someone else feel more comfortable.  I realize that this is self-compromise and I am sick of compromising myself as a program of trying to please others in fear of expressing myself self-honestly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in any way to people within conversation.  I realize that reacting is of the mind, therefore I direct myself to directly speak words as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-correction in the presence of another person.  I realize that taking responsibility to correct myself in front of others is not only assisting myself but assisting others as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face myself within self-correction immediately, so as to catch myself instantly, and walk the necessary steps to actual change from the starting point of me being honest with myself.

I challenge myself to change myself within the presence of others, within slowing down and applying the necessary steps to correct and change myself so I am speaking words as me, not in reaction, but directly speaking based on what is here as me.

I challenge myself to enjoy the challenge of pushing my resistances to change myself, and to see it as an opportunity in each moment to realize myself and to stand up for myself as what is best for all.

I challenge myself to share who I am unconditionally with those who are able to hear

I challenge myself explore new ways of expressing myself, to redefine expression as no longer within the fear of embarrassment, rather cutting through all the judgement bullshit and getting to the critical point of exposing the lies and deception in our world that has been promoted by a system of dishonesty.

Day 42 - The Cold, Hard Truth

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide from the illusion of this world through creating personalities and false ideas that 'I am in love' or 'I love someone' or 'someone is special to me'.  I realize that in doing this, I am further separating myself into and as energetic identities which feed off my physical body ultimately resulting in diminishment and death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow the crowd without investigating for myself what is really going on in my world and reality.  I realize that in not taking the time to research for myself, I am placing my trust in others so I can live my life in self-interest within the assumption that I will have someone to blame in the end.  I realize that the belief that I can blame someone for my own self-dishonesty is actually self-sabotage to which there is no escaping myself as I know exactly what I have been doing all along.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately deny the abuse and suffering going on in my world in the belief that 'as long as I can have fun and do what I want' - purely living for myself, not caring or considering the fate of all as me.  I realize that this denial of myself can only lead to my disillusionment and my complete non-existence, because I proved that I was unworthy of life through my living experience through denial and did not take heed to forgive and change myself when the opportunity was here as me.  I realize there is no excuse that will save me from the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I will have a chance to change someday in the future, not realizing that my life could end at any moment, and I would have to face the truth of myself as a deceiver, as someone who denied myself and the true nature of my existence, because I allowed myself to fall into the trap I set for myself as the belief I had free choice to do whatever I wanted - based on my false personality which I believed to be me, when it is not me at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up and making a visible statement of who I am as Equal and in so work with self-honesty and self-forgiveness to change myself to a physical being that supports all life Equally.  I realize that fear of standing up and being visible is me being a slave to fear, thus not being real with myself and therefore I cannot be life if I cannot even be real with myself by standing up and living the truth of who I am - through participating with the group that supports Life and the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others will think of me if I say something that is contrary to my personality system or the system in general.  In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear instead of facing the fear - how can I be life if I am controlled by fear?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be worshiped and honored by others as being seen as special, so I can charge up the belief in my mind that I am a good person and deserve to be treated as special and 'better than' others.  I realize that me desiring to be seen/treated as special or good or loving or caring is self-deception, and in this desire I am creating an alternate personality of myself rather than honestly expressing myself as a physical being that is no more or less important than anyone/anything in the physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in conversations in my head where I think less of others and more of myself so I can 'win' in my mind and thus feel better about myself through energy.  I realize that this secret mind I am expressing is mining my body of energy through/into/as my mind which I give power to through the spitefulness.  I realize that I believe that I am powerless to change because I am addicted to the 'feel good' high of energy as thoughts and emotions, and I believe I don't have the guts to face myself as who I really am - which is a deceptive, programmed belief to keep me enslaved to the mind as energy.

I commit myself to STAND UP within myself and become a living statement of Equality and what is best for all through having the courage to face my fears which are merely the tools of enslavement.

I commit myself to OPEN MY EYES in no longer following the crowd, but develop my own self-honesty through self-intimacy as into-me-I-see and have insight as to how I have allowed myself to deceive myself in the past so that I can stop all participation in that which perpetuates abuse in my world and reality.

I commit myself to WILL MYSELF to face my fears and change through the Desteni-I-Process of self-change where I will learn what it really is to face myself in self-honesty rather than continuing to live the lie of my self-created personality in fear of survival and death.

I commit myself to CATCH myself when I find that I am having spiteful backchat conversations within my mind that I am deliberately using to make myself feel better in fear that if I stop my mind, I will not exist, so I commit myself to face myself in self-honesty in every moment of every breath so I can be here with myself, and stop searching for myself in delusions of love and friendship.

I commit myself to Self-love, where I stand as an Equal in my world, no longer seeking to vaunt myself into a blissful mind-state for the sake of temporary comfort, but support myself in common sense in what is necessary to be done, and changing myself into a living example so I can assist others and so assist all life in self-realization. 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 27 - Love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I could experience love for myself while the rest of the world suffers.  And in so, I justified my personal and selfish desire for love through the excuse -  'It's to big for me to understand' - 'there's nothing I can do about it' and 'it's too scary for me to consider'.  Never allowing myself to realize and understand that all the fictitious bandage excuses I used were only a cover up, and never able to stop my addiction to the desire to experience love - in spite of the big picture - I always knew my love wasn't real, the evidence was all around me, every moment of my existence, I was just too afraid to face who I am for real, and in so, I denied who I am, and traded my eternal self for a morphine high, subject to the ultimate low of death, as complete self-denial.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is a spiritual 'heart of love' out there somewhere, in the great beyond, that has accounted for - numbered, and made a record of, all my feelings of love that I had in my life, so that I in my selfish mind, could use these thoughts of love to comfort myself in thinking that I lived a good life - because I felt feelings of love.  Yet I never allowed myself to realize that these feelings of love can only exist within a physical body - therefore when my body dies, all my love DIES with it - completely proving that my love was never real, but only fleeting feelings of selfishness to cover my guilt and shame of who I had accepted and allowed myself to become - as a self-deceiver that did not give my whole life to expose spite, and honor all life Equally.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the lie that love is forever, when in fact love is subject to time and death, and cannot exist without me or the earth - as a physical expression of me, as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my love is sweet and caring, when in fact, my love has only the appearance of sweetness, but it is a deadly poisoned apple, seducing and killing all who eat it through a slow and painful death by corruption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my love as bait to lure others into my traps of guilt, shame and desire for revenge I experienced within myself, so that I could have company in my judgement against life, sighting legalities and false justifications, in my self-denial, misery and deceitfulness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself through thinking that I wanted love when what I really wanted was sex, as an energy high to pacify my irresponsibility to life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become entranced and enchanted with thoughts of love and delight, seeking nothing but fulfillment of selfish desire, in full awareness of how I was injecting hatred and enmity into all of existence as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to celebrate the lie of love, and in so manifest the extreme polarity as murder, rape and killing in my world because I laughingly accepted my own lie, thinking I could somehow escape myself, and would not have to face the consequences of what I had allowed myself to become.     

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am brave because I accepted the lie of love, I am brave because I can deny myself,  I am brave because I see fear in the reactions of others, I am brave because I can cheat death,  'I must be a supreme God' because I can abuse love - when the reality is no one is able to cheat death, as the manifested consequence of what we have allowed through the belief in love - which is spite - as fear of self.

I commit myself to expose the lie of love and its deception which is used by Hollywood, media, and corporations to sell more products to fuel consumerism for profit resulting in the corruption of life and the destruction of our planet.

I commit myself to live myself here as breath in every moment facing myself for who I am as a physical being that does not require love from an outside source.  I embrace, support and care for myself as I embrace, support and care for all life as changing myself and our world into a place where life is honored in Equality

I commit myself to stand for and support the only solution that will bring us out of the massive problems and consequences we face in our world.  Equal Money for All.

I commit myself to bring awareness of Equality to those who do not fully understand the deception propagated by corporations, Hollywood, media and politicians in our world through blogging and sharing and becoming a living example of what is best for all

I commit myself to give all of myself to Life as Equality as breath as aligning myself with the physical in all ways so that I may become the living expression of life, Equal and One, until it is done.