Day 191 - Freedom

What is Freedom?  What is it to be Free... is it the ability to have a walk in the park, in our 'free' time?  Getting out of jail?  Is it the ability to buy an expensive gift with the money we 'earned' through our hard slavery/work? Is it the ability to make a choice about who we think is beautiful and/or ugly?  Or is it just a good Feeling?

Would not actual Freedom 'free' us from the very limited ideas and definitions of Freedom itself?  Would not real, ultimate 'Freedom' eliminate all Fear, Doubt, Guilt, and Shame?    

Why then do we harbor the false belief that we are 'free'?  Simply because in doing so, we create a positive 'feel good' experience within ourselves.  Seems harmless on the surface.  The term Freedom, as it is used, interpreted, and perceived within our world, is a dualistic concept... An idea only attainable with the existence of it's polar opposite counterpart, and dependent - Slavery.  So, if we are self-honest, we will admit that we are refusing to realize and consider the inherent consequence of promoting such a belief.  In actuality, 'believing we are free' manifests as a direct result of the fear of facing the discomforting realization that many experience the opposite side of the coin - as extreme suffering and miserable lives - so that we can have our tyrannical belief.

We see the word 'Freedom' splashed all over the news and tossed around by guru's and preachers alike.  It is the subtle bait which triggers our subconscious emotions into our beloved fear induced mind-euphoria.  Many believe enlightenment is freedom, or that Jesus will set you free.  So peaceful in the bubble.  Fascinating, that despite all we have seen, we still do not recognize the renown of consequence for being abrupt, crude, and unforgiving... the ultimate bubble-crusher... and let's not forget or deny the blatantly obvious fact that no god can or will, save us from ourselves.  

Still we are stiff-necked, individually choosing to experience ourselves within and as this positive feeling of being free, further believing that it is 'better' to selfishly 'feel positive' then it is to be honest and considerate of Life.  We are Dom-inated by our belief in Free-dom, a blashpemy and disgrace of Life.  

Free-Choice then is the evidence that we are enslaved - because free-choice creates the illusion that we can decide to live in self-interest without facing any consequences of our own decisions.  The only viable choice in a shared physical reality is to live what is best for all - that way, all is living within the principle of responsibility to life, and no one has the 'free choice' to abuse another.

The acceptance of the idea of 'Freedom' and the existence of 'Free Choice' in Duality/Separation is complete Self-Deception, and therefore unacceptable.  There is only one option that will support Life - that is Equality and living what is Best for All.  

Day 172 - Routine Self Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to skip my routine this morning and so not set or accomplish my goal for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my resistance to work towards getting things done that I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle of myself through drifting into states of comfort and relaxation when there were things I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect outlining and establishing specific goals for myself that need to be addressed within this current lifetime process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat moments and days differently based on energy values of how I have valued days of the week, where Monday  Tuesday  and Wednesday are negative energy experiences - Thursday and Friday are neutral energy experiences and Saturday and Sunday are positive energy experiences of myself.  I realize that all moments must be Equal and not defined within energy experiences of how I have programmed myself to feel based on days of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future consequence based on cycles of my past, and therefore repeat cycles of the past because I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the idea that I cannot transcend the past within my mind.


I commit myself to follow my morning routine as soon as I wake up and push my resistances to get things done that need to be done

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a state of comfort and relaxation - breathe, and be aware of what I am accepting and allowing within myself so that I may push through the resistance to relax in comfort so as to not allow myself to fall into the subtle trap of self-deception and self-dishonesty.

I commit myself to set my goals for the day and for my lifetime process

I commit myself to stick to my goals and my routine so that I may take responsibility for myself in supporting myself and all in self-honesty.

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself and to not allow myself to abdicate it to anyone or any situation.

I commit myself to establish self trust and communication with myself and my physical body through self-honesty so that I do not compromise myself in any situation that would cause consequences that I will end up regretting in the future.

I commit myself to know myself without question.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 62

So much to write about.  I woke up feeling shitty and allowed that 'mood' to dictate my morning, through hiding from myself in a computer game of chess.  I was within limitation of the mind, blinding myself to the potential to move myself, and so not allowing myself to do anything constructive.  I was stuck in decision again... not sure what to do.  Trying to get myself out of my mindfuck by using my mind, comparing myself in my mind to the less fortunate.  So I try to be grateful, yet still fear of money exists.  The fear of god as money.  There is also the fear of being enslaved to responsibility, of having to work and slave for money, only to end up in a fuckup where I wont be seen as worthy of the money I worked for, and so become broke.  So I try to put shit out of my mind, fearing a mountain of consequences, which only makes matters worse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subject to morning moods which are passed from the past of the last day.  Even thought that is what I just blogged about the day before, I realize - and commit myself - that I must discipline myself first thing in the morning to clear myself, as when I awaken in the morning, I am more susceptible to autopilot syndrome and thus allowing myself to feel down on myself and my situation. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear money and spending money - as fear of taking the risk.  I realize that everything in this matrix is a risk, whether I make a decision or refrain, I am risking myself as expressing myself within and as risk. I realize that I must write out what risks I plan to take so that I can check the starting point.  If the starting point is clear on paper as me moving myself to support myself, as well as all other factors being clear, I must move myself to make a decision and stay with it until it is time for change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to the less fortunate and thus use that comparison as a starting point for encouraging and moving myself.  This is a mindfuck because through this comparison, I end up feeling shitty about myself and my world.  I go into a limited perception of myself such as "everything is so fucked up, nothing I do will have any effect".  So then I just want to neglect myself.

Within that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to neglect myself because I do not see any potential outcome.  I realize that regardless of the fact of me being able to see my impact, I must walk the process of disciplining and directing myself here in the physical, and in so doing change myself to not be directed and controlled by energy.

By the time I was able to move myself, I went and did a job, which came together well.  I noticed some fear of expressing myself here as me when talking to the customer.  I tried to curb the conversation and eventually got to mention the abusive money system, gently pushing some points and took self-direction in the conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself within conversation from the start.  I realize that I created the outflow through me allowing the conversation to go in the direction it was going - because I did not direct it immediately within breath, and so I had to curb the conversation to regain my directive principle.

I was able to tell both of the customers about equal money which was cool.

I then decided to go downtown as it was a warm evening.  Being around many people there, there were many observations to take note of, which I will share in the next blog.  It is interesting to note how my day did not go anything like what I expected it to be when I woke up in the morning, it ended up being quite interesting.  

7yr Journey to Life - Day 53 - Enjoy the Challenge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in a rush while working because I fear not making money fast enough.  When and as I notice myself rushing and pushing myself to hard, I stop and breathe for a moment to slow myself down so that I am not allowing my mind to dictate the pace.  I realize that I must direct myself in each moment and no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of not having money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that consistency is the most effective and practical method to direct myself so that I can be effective in my work and direct myself in and as the physical.  If I am rushing, I must stop myself and check whether my starting point is fear or me directing myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all situations I find myself in are self-created, and so I must walk out the consequences.  Within that I realize that I must stop myself from creating consequences by directing myself in and as breath in every moment, not reacting to situations but directing them as myself in what is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my programmed personality based on my parents personalities and how they dealt with issues such as frustration and anxiety.  I no longer accept and allow myself to grasp onto a personality, but rather I face myself here in the challenge to change myself and direct myself in each moment, so that I can align myself with the physical as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear directing myself in each moment, as if I would fear facing myself as how I have created myself.  I realize that in taking responsibility for myself here, I must walk the consequences of what I have created, so that I can challenge myself to change myself in undoing what I have done and created as myself as this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that facing resistances and challenging my personality/ego/mind is the way to freeing myself from self-created consequence, and therefore I enjoy that challenge and I enjoy taking responsibility for myself rather than exist as a slave robot to a system of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on a nice face, smile or laugh to make someone else feel more comfortable.  I realize that this is self-compromise and I am sick of compromising myself as a program of trying to please others in fear of expressing myself self-honestly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in any way to people within conversation.  I realize that reacting is of the mind, therefore I direct myself to directly speak words as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-correction in the presence of another person.  I realize that taking responsibility to correct myself in front of others is not only assisting myself but assisting others as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face myself within self-correction immediately, so as to catch myself instantly, and walk the necessary steps to actual change from the starting point of me being honest with myself.

I challenge myself to change myself within the presence of others, within slowing down and applying the necessary steps to correct and change myself so I am speaking words as me, not in reaction, but directly speaking based on what is here as me.

I challenge myself to enjoy the challenge of pushing my resistances to change myself, and to see it as an opportunity in each moment to realize myself and to stand up for myself as what is best for all.

I challenge myself to share who I am unconditionally with those who are able to hear

I challenge myself explore new ways of expressing myself, to redefine expression as no longer within the fear of embarrassment, rather cutting through all the judgement bullshit and getting to the critical point of exposing the lies and deception in our world that has been promoted by a system of dishonesty.