Day 95 - Pride and Vanity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Proud about things I have done in my life without realizing that pride exists in polarity to Shame and Humiliation, and as such, Pride is a false perception of myself in ignorance of the totality of myself.  I realize that Pride is an attempt to make myself appear 'better than' who I am, and so others within the mind, so that I can for a moment believe that I can escape the fear of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become - as existing completely within and as Fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Pride/Ego/Mind is what I have created, based on the interpretation of what I perceived as being myself (or no-self), as perceiving myself through and as consciousness, as a collection of defined symbols based on knowledge and information.  In so, I believed the Light to be who I am and/or who 'god' is, never realizing that this perception is in separation from the totality of myself, as the light and the darkness and all of existence, where the darkness is actually the starting point of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow Pride and Vanity to dictate my behavior, and define who I am, and in so I believed myself to be 'less than' the totality of who I am as all.  Thus in fear of diminishing, I have manifested the diminishment of myself to a collection of one dimensional ideas, definitions, perceptions, opinions, and beliefs of myself, rather than seeing, realizing, understanding and being myself here as Equal to, and One with the physical. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself from myself in and as Pride, and so making Pride the most difficult, aspect of myself to see, yet at the same time the most obvious because it is hidden in plain sight, as the very thing I was hiding myself within, and so allowing myself to think that I must achieve the highest form of Pride in the forms of happiness, love, bliss, ego, and consciousness within seeking self-gratification through energy in separation of myself as all, and therefore I manifested self-interest, greed, desire and all forms of abuse of Life as myself as All.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand the statement of Solomon in the bible "Vanity of vanities, All is vanity" which implies that even God was in Vain, and so I too feigned Vanity as myself, never realizing that the solution to Vanity was right here within in the Veins of the physical body, where All have the opportunity and are able to change to stop living in Vain, and so realize themselves as flesh and veins to become the directive principle of Life through Self Forgiveness and living what is Best for All.
 
I commit myself to realize that whenever I find myself hiding from myself, I realize I am acting within and as the deceptive character of Pride.  I realize that Pride is where I Pretend to Hide as just 'Part of the Ride' in the Van of Vanity where I am taken for a ride in my false perception/idea of Life, as opposed to taking responsibility to direct myself within and as breath. 

I commit myself to face all points of Pride within myself so that I no longer accept and allow Pride to exist as the director and controller of myself as being a slave and servant of Pride. 

I commit myself to realize the Hidden Cost and Consequence for Pride and Vanity - Shame, Humiliation, Death and Destruction of Life.

I commit myself to carefully consider the vast extent to which Pride and Vanity has been allowed to infiltrate existence through FEAR of Self, and so to not slight myself within my process through assumption and miscalculation in the great and subtle deception of Pride.

I commit myself to live what is best for me, as who I actually am as All, therefore what is Best for All is best for me.

Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 58 - Sharing Equality

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that each person is as me as a physical being.  Therefore any judgement I have that is 'of my mind' is separating myself into and as that which is not physical.  I realize that the deception that pervades all of existence - as people abusing life through the secret mind, and not understanding themselves as who we are as physical - must be exposed openly, so that all may have the opportunity for self-realization.  I also realize that I cannot judge others - aside from stopping myself from participating in obvious, deliberate and spiteful behavior that clearly does not support life, in which case it is not a mental judgement but a physical, open statement of who I am, and what I will or will not allow myself to participate in. 

Anyone can, at any time, move themselves to 'wake up' to the self-realization of what is necessary to be done to stand for, and support Life as Equality.   I do not know the outcome - therefore I support all those willing to hear unconditionally, so that I may assist others as I would like to be assisted, were I in their shoes.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within my participation with others, I am accountable to share myself as who I have realized myself to be - As taking responsibility to direct and change myself into that which is best for all as Equal.  Within this realization, I am able to skillfully direct myself to assist another as myself, to see past the limitations of the mind, and to assist another to face the reality of the world we have all collectively accepted and allowed as ourselves - as the calculated, and self-willed abuse of life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confront others from the starting point of seeing myself as 'better than' because I have acquired the knowledge of Equality.  In so doing, I create a polarity friction war between them and myself, and manifest a point of separation within myself, as using knowledge to 'try to do something good' to make myself feel superior.  I realize that this only charges the mind within reactions, judgements and beliefs, in attempt to make others feel inferior within a knowledge belief system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to change others in my own self-interest.  The actuality is that I cannot change anyone, I can only assist others that wish to change themselves, as each is self-responsible, and any action that is an attempt to change another is merely manifesting a master/slave relationship or polarity war in and as the mind as ego consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my expression of self-standing in responsibility to myself, as self-trust, as embracing myself unconditionally is the best support I can offer myself or anyone else, where, my expression is not dependent on the perfection of grammar or phrases that I use, because my self-honest expression - regardless of the word configuration - is what will be the most effective in assisting others to see beyond their own fears and into their own self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the exponential outflow of each moment/opportunity as the compression of time as myself.  In that outflow, I can direct myself within and as self-honesty and so expose the deception, so that it can be eradicated and Life can be born - timeless and eternal, where all that will exist is Equality as Life forever.

I commit myself to stop all mental judgements that do not support life or what is best for all.

I commit myself to bring realization to myself as self-honest expression as me as doing what is best for all in every moment, every movement and every breath so that I can enjoy the fruit of my labor as having extracted the parasite of consciousness which has blinded me for eons of time. 

I commit myself sharing myself unconditionally to all who will hear the desteni message of Equality so that all of existence may understand and be brought to account of how we have abused Life

I commit myself to applying self-forgiveness and corrective application as well as making myself available to show others the tools that will assist one to change oneself to serve Life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to support life through the creation of an Equal Money System so that all that are here may be supported and life will be honored and given Equal value as the value of Life as what it should be. 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 51 - Words Change Time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my self-forgiveness statements as not standing Equal to and One with my words, where I have written out words of self-forgiveness, and yet not followed through with the full corrective application in changing myself to align myself with my words as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treat my words as less than me - through not living true to my words as who I am in each moment - as directing myself as the physical in standing for life, without compromise, or going into my mind of thoughts as desires for experiences of the past where experiences 'felt good'.  I realize this desire to go back into the past is in separation of myself here, and what is necessary to be done for me to stand as life in self-responsibility to all in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I must discipline myself - because my programmed mind and the information stored within my physical body will still want to take the easiest road as following the path of cycles of the past so I can operate on autopilot as being dragged through life by my mind of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my responsibilities to myself and my group where I have not given my best in each and every moment, through allowing myself to be subject to discouragement - as fear of not having any encouragement in the polarity system as needing an external stimulus in order to conduct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being here and directing my movements, my breath and my words as me, constantly making excuses in my mind because my mind wants control of me because my mind fears its own death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use my time as effectively as possible.  I realize at times when my mind takes over - as autopilot - I have accepted it and allowed it to continue unchecked, assuming that everything is fine, yet if this happens, it is evidence that I am not fully directing myself in every moment and I am allowing myself to be mind controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project ideas of my financial situation into the future and so allow my mind to use that as a tool against me to sabotage me into believing that my situation is much worse than it is. I realize that if I move myself here in each moment as doing what is best for all, then I will be able to support myself as always doing what is necessary to be done in any given situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a reaction to my minds future projection of the possibilities of what could happen, and in so allow it to impose feelings of discouragement on me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change, in any construct that I have created.  ALL mind/personality manifestations can be stopped with the tools of self-forgiveness, breathing, and corrective application.   I realize I do not have to fear stopping patterns, or fear letting go of patterns because I am still here in each moment and I am doing what is best for me as best for all. And best of all I am birthing myself as life by walking myself to nothingness to undo all of the spitefulness that I have accepted and allowed within my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reactions of others if I talk slowly, and or directly, with care for my words, correcting myself if necessary and speaking self forgiveness.  I realize that me fearing what others will think of me creates anger and indignation within me through suppression of self and conformity to a system of false beliefs.

I commit myself to stand equal to my words, to slow myself down and stand boldly in the face of fear so I can express myself without concern for what others think.  In so, I am allowing myself to express myself as true to myself, as standing Equal to my words so that I can by example, change my world and reality.

I commit myself to integrate all that is not physical within me, all that is not Equal and One with my physical body.  I will do this through deconstructing the mind and thoughts, feelings, emotions and DESIRES and transmuting them into physicality, as what is tangible, able to be seen by all, and thus trustworthy

I commit myself to self-realization in each moment, despite what fears may come up, I deal with them without judgment upon myself, I stand for life no matter what events or experiences occur.

I commit myself to use my time effectively in moving myself and directing each movement so all aligns with the principle of what is best for all - so there need be no feelings of guilt or remorse, as everything I do supports life as best as I am able.

Day 48 - Change is Constant

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself.  I realize that to give up would mean that there is no opportunity for change, yet there is no such thing as giving up on myself as I am here and everything is constantly changing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the program of my past where I feel I need to punish myself.  I realize that punishing myself will not assist me in any way, but rather I need to change punishment to changing myself as self discipline - so that I can do what is necessary to be done to support myself and others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the temper tantrums of my mind direct and control me in avoiding my responsibilities to support myself and get my work done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the outcome of what will happen if I move myself in doing tasks.  I realize that this is self-sabotage and it is showing me that I have not yet developed self trust as myself here as constant and consistent moving myself and facing myself within responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate and wait till the last moment to get working on things.  I realize this reluctance to work is based in past acceptances and allowances where I only wanted to do what would give me gratification in self-interest, rather than placing myself as Equal to my world and reality in changing myself so that I could assist all as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the potential that even small changes that produce and effect that is best for all are helpful and can have great impact on my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself through allowing myself to get discouraged with myself where my mind tells me I have nothing to offer as seeing myself as useless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as useless and disregard myself through thoughts and beliefs of the mind.

I commit myself to change myself in every moment - to not accept and allow discouragement but to encourage myself in the fact that I understand myself as Equal to all, which very few understand that point in our world.

I commit myself to - when I see myself wanting to give up, stop and breathe and face my problems so that I can work them out step by step and get things done little by little.

I commit myself to self-encouragement where I can motivate myself as self-will through standing Equal to my world as the physical

Day 42 - The Cold, Hard Truth

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide from the illusion of this world through creating personalities and false ideas that 'I am in love' or 'I love someone' or 'someone is special to me'.  I realize that in doing this, I am further separating myself into and as energetic identities which feed off my physical body ultimately resulting in diminishment and death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow the crowd without investigating for myself what is really going on in my world and reality.  I realize that in not taking the time to research for myself, I am placing my trust in others so I can live my life in self-interest within the assumption that I will have someone to blame in the end.  I realize that the belief that I can blame someone for my own self-dishonesty is actually self-sabotage to which there is no escaping myself as I know exactly what I have been doing all along.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately deny the abuse and suffering going on in my world in the belief that 'as long as I can have fun and do what I want' - purely living for myself, not caring or considering the fate of all as me.  I realize that this denial of myself can only lead to my disillusionment and my complete non-existence, because I proved that I was unworthy of life through my living experience through denial and did not take heed to forgive and change myself when the opportunity was here as me.  I realize there is no excuse that will save me from the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I will have a chance to change someday in the future, not realizing that my life could end at any moment, and I would have to face the truth of myself as a deceiver, as someone who denied myself and the true nature of my existence, because I allowed myself to fall into the trap I set for myself as the belief I had free choice to do whatever I wanted - based on my false personality which I believed to be me, when it is not me at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up and making a visible statement of who I am as Equal and in so work with self-honesty and self-forgiveness to change myself to a physical being that supports all life Equally.  I realize that fear of standing up and being visible is me being a slave to fear, thus not being real with myself and therefore I cannot be life if I cannot even be real with myself by standing up and living the truth of who I am - through participating with the group that supports Life and the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others will think of me if I say something that is contrary to my personality system or the system in general.  In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear instead of facing the fear - how can I be life if I am controlled by fear?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be worshiped and honored by others as being seen as special, so I can charge up the belief in my mind that I am a good person and deserve to be treated as special and 'better than' others.  I realize that me desiring to be seen/treated as special or good or loving or caring is self-deception, and in this desire I am creating an alternate personality of myself rather than honestly expressing myself as a physical being that is no more or less important than anyone/anything in the physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in conversations in my head where I think less of others and more of myself so I can 'win' in my mind and thus feel better about myself through energy.  I realize that this secret mind I am expressing is mining my body of energy through/into/as my mind which I give power to through the spitefulness.  I realize that I believe that I am powerless to change because I am addicted to the 'feel good' high of energy as thoughts and emotions, and I believe I don't have the guts to face myself as who I really am - which is a deceptive, programmed belief to keep me enslaved to the mind as energy.

I commit myself to STAND UP within myself and become a living statement of Equality and what is best for all through having the courage to face my fears which are merely the tools of enslavement.

I commit myself to OPEN MY EYES in no longer following the crowd, but develop my own self-honesty through self-intimacy as into-me-I-see and have insight as to how I have allowed myself to deceive myself in the past so that I can stop all participation in that which perpetuates abuse in my world and reality.

I commit myself to WILL MYSELF to face my fears and change through the Desteni-I-Process of self-change where I will learn what it really is to face myself in self-honesty rather than continuing to live the lie of my self-created personality in fear of survival and death.

I commit myself to CATCH myself when I find that I am having spiteful backchat conversations within my mind that I am deliberately using to make myself feel better in fear that if I stop my mind, I will not exist, so I commit myself to face myself in self-honesty in every moment of every breath so I can be here with myself, and stop searching for myself in delusions of love and friendship.

I commit myself to Self-love, where I stand as an Equal in my world, no longer seeking to vaunt myself into a blissful mind-state for the sake of temporary comfort, but support myself in common sense in what is necessary to be done, and changing myself into a living example so I can assist others and so assist all life in self-realization. 

Day 33 - I am my Words

The more I hold myself accountable to all as myself and my world, the more I am aware of my responsibility to - through my living example - assist others to see and understand the root problem of our reality.  Each and every one is responsible, and all excuses and justifications stem from fearful and selfish, ego-based desires in attempt to escape responsibility change and align ourselves to the principle of what is best for all.

So how can I direct myself most effectively so that others can garner the necessary knowledge and information required to unlock their individual fears and false perceptions of reality in order so that they may realize themselves as Equal?

I have to apply myself in every moment of breath as becoming equal and one with my words so that my inner reality is reflected in my outer reality.  To stand as my words as every word spoken as me.  In that I take care that when I speak, I am specific and considerate of all potential outflows of how my words are received. From the simplest of conversations to the most in depth, it is to be ever aware of myself here and my responsibility to my agreement with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my words as insignificant and meaningless, when my words have potential to assist myself and others in self-realization at any given time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where I have created a system that dictates what words I should speak and when/what words are morally 'correct' and what is morally 'incorrect' - as a system that has replaced responsibility to life with valuation of deceitfulness where I get a receipt for my co-operation and compliance rather than sharing earths resources equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where my words are not the expression of me, but my words are dictated and programmed through an education system which does not support life - but slavery as creating 'good slaves' and 'bad slaves' to a cruel system of self-destructive nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my world, my reality and my existence through abusing words to justify 'correctness' in the belief that some are 'better than' others in fear of survival.  I realize that living from the starting point of fear-of-survival and competition does not support life, but manifests the inevitable plundering of all of the earths resources through and insatiable lust of consumerism which can only result in suffering and death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through my words in my own self-deception because I felt I could not live without playing the game of competition, always seeking and desiring more and more and more and more and more in a never ending cycle of self-abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words to fill gaps of space where I feel uncomfortable if I do not say something.  In that, I take the opportunity to consider the possibilities where I can take self-responsibility to express myself in a way that my words have impact and change my world and reality to that which honors all life Equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my ability to use words because I fear saying things in front of certain people or I fear the people themselves and thus fear the reactions I may/may not get. 

I commit myself to use my words as effectively and specifically as possible within slowing myself down and breathing so that I am speaking words as myself in creating only that which supports all life Equally as what is best for all

I commit myself to speak my words effectively as possible so that they may have an impact and manifestation of change as me and within my world and reality.

I commit myself to work diligently with discipline in using my words with care and consideration for all life.

I commit myself to retrace my words that I speak so that I may purify my words and clarify as I purify and clarify myself into a living example of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for me.

Day 32 - Me as My Words

"Everyone Pays Full Price" I stated into my cell phone voice recorder yesterday. 

So after finishing my job of the past two days, it came time for the customer to pay.  He did not want to pay tax (as is typical of most clients), so I accepted that.  In addition to that, the customer was telling me that the type of work I was doing was not worth what I was asking, despite the agreement we had on the price beforehand.  So he began 'talking me down'.  I argued my points that I was well worth the price I was asking, and I had done a great job, yet he continued to demand a lower price.  So I conceded to give him 10% off the price in addition to the taxes discount. 

Upon reflection of what happened, I realized that I accepted the compromise, I did not stand my ground and demand full price, because I felt I had no ground to stand on, I needed the money and re-acted in fear of not getting it from interactions in the past.  What I did not realize is that I was compromising myself in not standing equal to my words.  In compromised myself through pitying the client, even though he was very wealthy.  Self-sabotage yet again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in not standing equal and one with my words, and so sabotage myself through irresponsibility to myself and my world through speaking words of compromise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am my words and thus when I speak words as me, I stand in agreement with myself as my words without compromise through reactions of pity or fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pity on someone else, and their fear of having to spend money, and in so compromise myself and my words through lack of integrity to my agreement to myself and my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall victim of fear of not getting paid and in so compromise myself and my words and my agreement with myself as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the emotions of someone else rather than standing absolute as myself, my agreement with myself and my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can compromise my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to take responsibility for others through compromising myself in the desire to be a good, helpful and kind person.  I realize that if I compromise myself and my words through kindness, goodness and helping others, I abdicate myself and my agreement with myself as my words which is unacceptable and denial of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to be specific with my words as myself in walking my process of self-honesty, and in so reap the consequences of inequality as the evidence of me not standing equal and one with my words as me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down in and as my breath to clear myself before I speak words as me.

There is no half-life, either I stand absolutely equal to life in every way, or I cease to exist.

I commit myself to stand Equal and One with my words as me in total agreement with myself

I commit myself to be the living example of standing Equal and One with my words

I commit myself to slow myself down in breath awareness and clear myself before I speak, so that I can be sure that the words that I speak are self-directed in full awareness of my responsibility to my agreement to myself and my words.

I commit myself to, when I find myself running at the mouth, stop myself, clear myself through breath, and speak words as myself even if it means having to go back and re-state what I had said previously.

Everyone Pays Full Price in repayment of the debt we all have to Life.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 25 – Self Writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen by others as zealous, as a personality, as opposed to being an absolute equal in every way as a physical being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to appear as a 'know it all' in the fear that I will judge and/or define myself as unintelligent if I do not offer a plethora of knowledge and information as justifications to my ego/intelligence.  I realize that knowledge and information is not evil, but rather the self-condemnation through wanting to be seen as 'better than' that subverts and suppresses me into and as the polarity of 'less than' in self-judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to act, move, and speak without being the director of every action, movement and word spoken as myself.  In realizing this I find that all want or desire within myself is actually a fear of being here, in facing my responsibility to live myself to life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to haste, rush, and get through things, rather than take each moment breath by breath, step by step, word by word, in walking myself into and as equal to all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perfect in every way, in so believing perfection to be something to be attained as separate from myself, as an idea of perfection, rather than simply being my breath, and taking responsibility for myself as all of existence, consistently, point by point.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by me slowing myself down, I am able to be more direct, and specific with myself and others. Within slowing down, I can easily spot any point within myself where I am acting or speaking in want/desire of something rather than unconditional self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and in so I live self-forgiveness as me in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that what I see in others is a reflection of myself.  In realizing that reflection of myself, I can observe others, and what I see in others can assist me to discover what points of self-forgiveness are required for myself in self-honesty, and in so walk the correction in myself to align myself with what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and fear my resistances as negative in self-judgement, as opposed to trusting myself in allowing myself to face my resistances in order to change and support myself here as becoming life.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that becoming nothingness is negative and so fear nothingness as myself.  I realize that in order to change myself as all of existence, I must return to the point of origin in order to re-create/re-birth myself as Equal and One with all of existence.  I realize that there is no fear in nothingness, and neither is there any choice within this, as it is the only way to end all separation and suffering.