Day 48 - Change is Constant

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself.  I realize that to give up would mean that there is no opportunity for change, yet there is no such thing as giving up on myself as I am here and everything is constantly changing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the program of my past where I feel I need to punish myself.  I realize that punishing myself will not assist me in any way, but rather I need to change punishment to changing myself as self discipline - so that I can do what is necessary to be done to support myself and others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the temper tantrums of my mind direct and control me in avoiding my responsibilities to support myself and get my work done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the outcome of what will happen if I move myself in doing tasks.  I realize that this is self-sabotage and it is showing me that I have not yet developed self trust as myself here as constant and consistent moving myself and facing myself within responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate and wait till the last moment to get working on things.  I realize this reluctance to work is based in past acceptances and allowances where I only wanted to do what would give me gratification in self-interest, rather than placing myself as Equal to my world and reality in changing myself so that I could assist all as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the potential that even small changes that produce and effect that is best for all are helpful and can have great impact on my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself through allowing myself to get discouraged with myself where my mind tells me I have nothing to offer as seeing myself as useless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as useless and disregard myself through thoughts and beliefs of the mind.

I commit myself to change myself in every moment - to not accept and allow discouragement but to encourage myself in the fact that I understand myself as Equal to all, which very few understand that point in our world.

I commit myself to - when I see myself wanting to give up, stop and breathe and face my problems so that I can work them out step by step and get things done little by little.

I commit myself to self-encouragement where I can motivate myself as self-will through standing Equal to my world as the physical

Day 33 - I am my Words

The more I hold myself accountable to all as myself and my world, the more I am aware of my responsibility to - through my living example - assist others to see and understand the root problem of our reality.  Each and every one is responsible, and all excuses and justifications stem from fearful and selfish, ego-based desires in attempt to escape responsibility change and align ourselves to the principle of what is best for all.

So how can I direct myself most effectively so that others can garner the necessary knowledge and information required to unlock their individual fears and false perceptions of reality in order so that they may realize themselves as Equal?

I have to apply myself in every moment of breath as becoming equal and one with my words so that my inner reality is reflected in my outer reality.  To stand as my words as every word spoken as me.  In that I take care that when I speak, I am specific and considerate of all potential outflows of how my words are received. From the simplest of conversations to the most in depth, it is to be ever aware of myself here and my responsibility to my agreement with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my words as insignificant and meaningless, when my words have potential to assist myself and others in self-realization at any given time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where I have created a system that dictates what words I should speak and when/what words are morally 'correct' and what is morally 'incorrect' - as a system that has replaced responsibility to life with valuation of deceitfulness where I get a receipt for my co-operation and compliance rather than sharing earths resources equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where my words are not the expression of me, but my words are dictated and programmed through an education system which does not support life - but slavery as creating 'good slaves' and 'bad slaves' to a cruel system of self-destructive nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my world, my reality and my existence through abusing words to justify 'correctness' in the belief that some are 'better than' others in fear of survival.  I realize that living from the starting point of fear-of-survival and competition does not support life, but manifests the inevitable plundering of all of the earths resources through and insatiable lust of consumerism which can only result in suffering and death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through my words in my own self-deception because I felt I could not live without playing the game of competition, always seeking and desiring more and more and more and more and more in a never ending cycle of self-abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words to fill gaps of space where I feel uncomfortable if I do not say something.  In that, I take the opportunity to consider the possibilities where I can take self-responsibility to express myself in a way that my words have impact and change my world and reality to that which honors all life Equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my ability to use words because I fear saying things in front of certain people or I fear the people themselves and thus fear the reactions I may/may not get. 

I commit myself to use my words as effectively and specifically as possible within slowing myself down and breathing so that I am speaking words as myself in creating only that which supports all life Equally as what is best for all

I commit myself to speak my words effectively as possible so that they may have an impact and manifestation of change as me and within my world and reality.

I commit myself to work diligently with discipline in using my words with care and consideration for all life.

I commit myself to retrace my words that I speak so that I may purify my words and clarify as I purify and clarify myself into a living example of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for me.

Day 32 - Me as My Words

"Everyone Pays Full Price" I stated into my cell phone voice recorder yesterday. 

So after finishing my job of the past two days, it came time for the customer to pay.  He did not want to pay tax (as is typical of most clients), so I accepted that.  In addition to that, the customer was telling me that the type of work I was doing was not worth what I was asking, despite the agreement we had on the price beforehand.  So he began 'talking me down'.  I argued my points that I was well worth the price I was asking, and I had done a great job, yet he continued to demand a lower price.  So I conceded to give him 10% off the price in addition to the taxes discount. 

Upon reflection of what happened, I realized that I accepted the compromise, I did not stand my ground and demand full price, because I felt I had no ground to stand on, I needed the money and re-acted in fear of not getting it from interactions in the past.  What I did not realize is that I was compromising myself in not standing equal to my words.  In compromised myself through pitying the client, even though he was very wealthy.  Self-sabotage yet again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in not standing equal and one with my words, and so sabotage myself through irresponsibility to myself and my world through speaking words of compromise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am my words and thus when I speak words as me, I stand in agreement with myself as my words without compromise through reactions of pity or fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pity on someone else, and their fear of having to spend money, and in so compromise myself and my words through lack of integrity to my agreement to myself and my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall victim of fear of not getting paid and in so compromise myself and my words and my agreement with myself as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the emotions of someone else rather than standing absolute as myself, my agreement with myself and my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can compromise my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to take responsibility for others through compromising myself in the desire to be a good, helpful and kind person.  I realize that if I compromise myself and my words through kindness, goodness and helping others, I abdicate myself and my agreement with myself as my words which is unacceptable and denial of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to be specific with my words as myself in walking my process of self-honesty, and in so reap the consequences of inequality as the evidence of me not standing equal and one with my words as me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down in and as my breath to clear myself before I speak words as me.

There is no half-life, either I stand absolutely equal to life in every way, or I cease to exist.

I commit myself to stand Equal and One with my words as me in total agreement with myself

I commit myself to be the living example of standing Equal and One with my words

I commit myself to slow myself down in breath awareness and clear myself before I speak, so that I can be sure that the words that I speak are self-directed in full awareness of my responsibility to my agreement to myself and my words.

I commit myself to, when I find myself running at the mouth, stop myself, clear myself through breath, and speak words as myself even if it means having to go back and re-state what I had said previously.

Everyone Pays Full Price in repayment of the debt we all have to Life.