Tuesday, 22 May 2012
7yr Journey to Life - Day 25 – Self Writing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen by others as zealous, as a personality, as opposed to being an absolute equal in every way as a physical being here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to appear as a 'know it all' in the fear that I will judge and/or define myself as unintelligent if I do not offer a plethora of knowledge and information as justifications to my ego/intelligence. I realize that knowledge and information is not evil, but rather the self-condemnation through wanting to be seen as 'better than' that subverts and suppresses me into and as the polarity of 'less than' in self-judgement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to act, move, and speak without being the director of every action, movement and word spoken as myself. In realizing this I find that all want or desire within myself is actually a fear of being here, in facing my responsibility to live myself to life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to haste, rush, and get through things, rather than take each moment breath by breath, step by step, word by word, in walking myself into and as equal to all of existence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perfect in every way, in so believing perfection to be something to be attained as separate from myself, as an idea of perfection, rather than simply being my breath, and taking responsibility for myself as all of existence, consistently, point by point.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by me slowing myself down, I am able to be more direct, and specific with myself and others. Within slowing down, I can easily spot any point within myself where I am acting or speaking in want/desire of something rather than unconditional self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, and in so I live self-forgiveness as me in every moment of breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that what I see in others is a reflection of myself. In realizing that reflection of myself, I can observe others, and what I see in others can assist me to discover what points of self-forgiveness are required for myself in self-honesty, and in so walk the correction in myself to align myself with what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and fear my resistances as negative in self-judgement, as opposed to trusting myself in allowing myself to face my resistances in order to change and support myself here as becoming life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that becoming nothingness is negative and so fear nothingness as myself. I realize that in order to change myself as all of existence, I must return to the point of origin in order to re-create/re-birth myself as Equal and One with all of existence. I realize that there is no fear in nothingness, and neither is there any choice within this, as it is the only way to end all separation and suffering.