Sunday, 20 May 2012
Day 23 - Mind, Energy and Speaking
My mind always wants to 'figure' it out - as placing a figure(picture) or definition or label on it - Why? Sometimes it is necessary to see/identify a pattern I am playing out so I can stop the pattern. Other times, I am seeking to encourage myself. Is encouragement necessary or genuine? Do I not trust myself? Do I need encouragement? I am self-encouragement, if I realize myself as being here as a physical being as only desiring Equality as that which is best for all, self-trust is solidified through time as myself here, realizing myself as self-response-able.
At times I am glad of assistance, if I allow myself to get discouraged with myself as self-judgement. So I asked for assistance, and got some. Why do I fear that I am not 'doing good enough' in process - because I am not here in every breath, and I have at times uncertainties that have not been thoroughly cleared through writing and self-forgiveness. Insecurity, as evidence within my in-effectiveness in my blogs as knowing I did not consider something or did not consider all dimensions and outflows - Equally.
Point - not being specific, also, to not giving my all in every breath to Life. Why do I not 'give my all'. Fear of losing myself. Ideas that I must punish myself (past programming). Fear of running out of energy. Fear I do not have enough energy thus not focusing myself. Trying to save my energy. Belief that I am subject to energy. Forgetting who I am lol - thinking I am the 'image' in my mind of who I am rather than here as a physical being applying myself in birthing Life as the physical. Belief in the 'image' of myself as self-judgement can only exist in an unchangeable image of the mind. Belief/idea that I am unworthy due to patterns of the past I am still accepting and allowing to play out. Fear of exposing my expression and being 'labelled' as overzealous.
Speaking to others - Catching myself on autopilot when encountering a person because I have not trusted myself as here and able to move and change myself in the myriad of opportunities of every moment. Moving too fast.
Seeing/judging others who do not understand Equality as zombies 'less than'. I need to stop and clear myself before I just ramble off at the mouth, so I can speak words, specifically as myself, in what way I decide how they should be spoken, slowly, and precisely, within realizing my profound responsibility to Life, in that what I say resonates throughout multi-dimensionality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to dictate/project me, as trying to place definitions, images and labels of me within my life experience so that I do not see and direct myself here in each moment of breath.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to establish self-trust within myself and my living experience where I accumulate and solidify self-trust as myself here through walking self-honesty and applying myself in corrective application.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I judge myself and become discouraged with myself - not slow myself down, stop, clear myself and apply self-forgiveness so that I can stop undesirable consequences and re-align myself with myself here in supporting myself as all life and what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as 'not good enough' and so fear asking for assistance because at times I am glad of assistance as it assists me to support myself in aligning myself in living Equality as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inconsiderate of all dimensions of myself in that I do not fully consider all outflows of myself and so find myself in undesirable consequence of realization of what I accepted and allowed in the past experience of myself which always leads to here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'not give my all' in applying myself in self-honesty in every breath here because I have accepted the belief of 'fear of losing myself' when in fact, I am not losing myself but becoming true to myself for the first time ever.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play out the self-punishment program of the past within my mind, ignoring the fact that it creates consequence within my living experience for myself and others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I do not have enough energy or that I will run out of energy as an excuse as to why I cannot give my all in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and 'save' my energy in the belief that I am subject to energy. I direct energy as me as supporting myself and in so supporting equality for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget who I am, as seeing myself as the image within my mind based on my past experience, and so I limit and judge myself in the belief that I cannot change, as I am only an image. I am here as a physical being in supporting myself in living every moment as Equal to what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am unworthy due to patterns in the past that I am still accepting and allowing to play out within my mind as not applying self-forgiveness and corrective application for past acceptances and allowances and then changing myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being labelled as overzealous and so suppress myself expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist and participate within speaking on autopilot when encountering a person because I have not trusted myself as here and able to move and change myself in the myriad of opportunities of every moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move too fast. When and as I see myself attempting to move fast, I stop, I slow myself down and within breath I clear myself so that I may speak the words which I decide must be spoken, specifically and directly as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pre-judge others who do not understand Equality as zombies or 'less than'. I stop all pre-judgement as prejudice in giving everyone Equal opportunity to self-realize. I act in common sense in not accepting and allowing myself to participate in any form of spiteful behavior and as such, do not associate with those who are explicitly spiteful.
I commit myself to stop imprecise, empty words as verbal diarrhea on autopilot, but to place my words with care as myself, in speaking words that I can stand as - into eternity.