Day 49 - Organization, Prioritization and Motivation

One point in particular that I allowed myself to get discouraged lately was where I am trying to a certain form of abstract artwork over the past year.  I have spent many many hours trying to get it but I am not getting the desired effect.  It is very challenging to see something that you would like to do, but it is not turning out the way I would like whatsoever.

So I am stuck in the situation, because I am committed to keep trying to get it.  I suppose I should stop judging the outcome and just keep working at it until either I realize that it is not going to happen or I create something I'm happy with.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get discouraged with myself through judging what I have been attempting to do.  In this judgement, I am not realizing that what I am attempting to do takes some development and learning, and that I am in the learning phase of this process.  Therefore I stop all self-judgement and apply myself practically to see how I can assist myself to achieve my goal - or perhaps alter my goal accordingly. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - through the discouragement system - disregard my responsibility to myself, to see the bigger picture in the long run, so that what I do today creates the world I want to live in tomorrow.

Through this, I see that when I accept and allow myself to participate in my mind without pushing my resistances, but rather 'putting things off', I am accepting and allowing the current consequences of what is here - as hell on earth - to direct my situation rather than me changing myself and directing and supporting myself to have an impact on this world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in a state of mind where I feel that I am unable to work in doing practical things because 'I don't feel like it right now' or 'I can do that later'.  I realize that I have to change myself to become effective in doing things immediately when I have responsibilities.  If I do not do them, there must be a resistance stopping me from doing them so I have to write out the points and apply self-forgiveness for them. Again I am writing the procrastination system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off within doing my work.  I realize that I have to work, and I do enjoy working, yet there is resistance to working at times.  I realize that I have to push through the resistances to working.  In this I am seeing a pattern of myself not being effective enough with my work, where situations are arising which are causing me to have to do much more work than is necessary and for less money.  I also realize that if I push this point/resistance effectively I will alleviate a lot of stress and anxiety from my life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by resistances to working at my computer.  I realize that I need to organize and prioritize my life so I can become more effective in getting things done that need to be done so I will not have stress and anxiety in the future - because I have not taken responsibility in the present.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame rich people and the world in anger and frustration for what I have myself created for myself as my current situation.  I realize that what is here is my responsibility and therefore this is what I have to work with.

I commit myself to pay attention to myself as to pushing resistances and getting things done that need to be done through organizing myself and prioritizing things in my life.

I commit myself to - when a system of discouragement arises within me - to stop, breathe and WRITE OUT what is going on within myself so I can see myself from a different perspective and stop the cause that is causing the negative/self-sabotaging effect in my life.

I commit myself to maintain an up to date and easy to reference prioritization of things that need to be done

I commit myself to staying organized and staying on top of issues so I can become effective in my world.

I commit myself to motivate myself through self-encouragement by doing work that I will be happy with in the future with things such as blogging and vlogging so that I am contributing in making an effort to change my world to a world that will support life as Equality and an Equal Money System.

Day 23 - Mind, Energy and Speaking

My mind always wants to 'figure' it out - as placing a figure(picture) or definition or label on it - Why? Sometimes it is necessary to see/identify a pattern I am playing out so I can stop the pattern. Other times, I am seeking to encourage myself. Is encouragement necessary or genuine? Do I not trust myself? Do I need encouragement? I am self-encouragement, if I realize myself as being here as a physical being as only desiring Equality as that which is best for all, self-trust is solidified through time as myself here, realizing myself as self-response-able. 

At times I am glad of assistance, if I allow myself to get discouraged with myself as self-judgement. So I asked for assistance, and got some. Why do I fear that I am not 'doing good enough' in process - because I am not here in every breath, and I have at times uncertainties that have not been thoroughly cleared through writing and self-forgiveness.  Insecurity, as evidence within my in-effectiveness in my blogs as knowing I did not consider something or did not consider all dimensions and outflows - Equally.

Point - not being specific, also, to not giving my all in every breath to Life. Why do I not 'give my all'.  Fear of losing myself.  Ideas that I must punish myself (past programming).  Fear of running out of energy.  Fear I do not have enough energy thus not focusing myself.  Trying to save my energy. Belief that I am subject to energy.  Forgetting who I am lol - thinking I am the 'image' in my mind of who I am rather than here as a physical being applying myself in birthing Life as the physical.   Belief in the 'image' of myself as self-judgement can only exist in an unchangeable image of the mind.  Belief/idea that I am unworthy due to patterns of the past I am still accepting and allowing to play out. Fear of exposing my expression and being 'labelled' as overzealous.

Speaking to others - Catching myself on autopilot when encountering a person because I have not trusted myself as here and able to move and change myself in the myriad of opportunities of every moment.  Moving too fast. 

Seeing/judging others who do not understand Equality as zombies 'less than'. I need to stop and clear myself before I just ramble off at the mouth, so I can speak words, specifically as myself, in what way I decide how they should be spoken, slowly, and precisely, within realizing my profound responsibility to Life, in that what I say resonates throughout multi-dimensionality. 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my mind to dictate/project me, as trying to place definitions, images and labels of me within my life experience so that I do not see and direct myself here in each moment of breath.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to establish self-trust within myself and my living experience where I accumulate and solidify self-trust as myself here through walking self-honesty and applying myself in corrective application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I judge myself and become discouraged with myself - not slow myself down, stop, clear myself and apply self-forgiveness so that I can stop undesirable consequences and re-align myself with myself here in supporting myself as all life and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as 'not good enough' and so fear asking for assistance because at times I am glad of assistance as it assists me to support myself in aligning myself in living Equality as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inconsiderate of all dimensions of myself in that I do not fully consider all outflows of myself and so find myself in undesirable consequence of realization of what I accepted and allowed in the past experience of myself which always leads to here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'not give my all' in applying myself in self-honesty in every breath here because I have accepted the belief of 'fear of losing myself' when in fact, I am not losing myself but becoming true to myself for the first time ever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play out the self-punishment program of the past within my mind, ignoring the fact that it creates consequence within my living experience for myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I do not have enough energy or that I will run out of energy as an excuse as to why I cannot give my all in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and 'save' my energy in the belief that I am subject to energy.  I direct energy as me as supporting myself and in so supporting equality for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget who I am, as seeing myself as the image within my mind based on my past experience, and so I limit and judge myself in the belief that I cannot change, as I am only an image. I am here as a physical being in supporting myself in living every moment as Equal to what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am unworthy due to patterns in the past that I am still accepting and allowing to play out within my mind as not applying self-forgiveness and corrective application for past acceptances and allowances and then changing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being labelled as overzealous and so suppress myself expression. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist and participate within speaking on autopilot when encountering a person because I have not trusted myself as here and able to move and change myself in the myriad of opportunities of every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move too fast.  When and as I see myself attempting to move fast, I stop, I slow myself down and within breath I clear myself so that I may speak the words which I decide must be spoken, specifically and directly as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pre-judge others who do not understand Equality as zombies or 'less than'.  I stop all pre-judgement as prejudice in giving everyone Equal opportunity to self-realize.  I act in common sense in not accepting and allowing myself to participate in any form of spiteful behavior and as such, do not associate with those who are explicitly spiteful.

I commit myself to stop imprecise, empty words as verbal diarrhea on autopilot, but to place my words with care as myself, in speaking words that I can stand as - into eternity.