Day 188 - Dispelling the Delusions of Sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within myself for a sexual experience with another person, as seeing sex as something separate from myself - which I must apparently 'attain to' in order to achieve value for myself as a positive/good energetic feeling - a false ego-boost - a positive/good energetically charged feeling of accomplishment - and/or a positive/good energetically charged feeling of excitement. I realize that the positive energy experience of myself is used by the mind in attempt to cover-up/pacify the negative energy experience, which only results in the perpetuation of separation of myself as (+ -) energy, and thus self-delusion and enslavement. I realize that the definition of sex which I have accepted and allowed to be programmed into my mind throughout my life experience is not real – as it was specifically designed to keep me distracted, and chasing after the desire for experiences, rather than realizing the truth of who I am and my responsibility to stand Equal to myself and Life as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to escape my responsibility to myself and my commitment to myself through chasing after the desire for a sexual experience - in the belief that I can release myself from the anxiety of life's problems through seeking/attaining a positively charged sexual relationship. I realize that this desire for a positively charged sexual experience - triggered by the mind - is a form of self-manipulation where I have defined the act of sex with another as simply 'enjoying myself', meanwhile not fully understanding 'who I really am' and thus not fully understanding 'what sex is' - I have neglected to see how the entire system is playing out within and as myself, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself, deny myself, and neglect seeing myself for 'who I really am' out of fear of facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the 'fear of loss' system, where I have submitted myself to the fear of losing an opportunity to experience myself within a limited, predefined thought of myself, believing it to be the totality of 'who I am' when it is absolutely not. So within this belief, I have accepted and allowed my mind system of beliefs to direct and control me in seeking to fulfill this 'thought/fantasy' with justifications such as 'I will feel better' or I will have 'achieved something special' – when in actual physical reality, the positive energy feeling/excitement soon dissipates, and I all I have 'achieved' is the maintenance of the mind system which keeps me blinded and enslaved to chasing after positive feelings and fleeing from negative emotions. I realize that this form of self-denial accumulates, prolongs, and compounds consequence for myself and all, as I am fully aware that inevitably, I must face myself in self-honesty, and stop the enslavement of myself to false assumptions, delusional desires, and energetically charged feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after a moment of enjoyment, and so within seeking to accommodate a selfish desire, I am accepting and allowing myself to sacrifice of a vastly larger part of myself for a limited, and temporary experience of myself - as allowing myself to be the subject of pre-programmed mind desires, rather than taking responsibility to be self-directed and express myself in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that Life in this physical existence is the priority, as without Life in the physical, sex cannot exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with the words sex and love, limiting and defining them within the beauty and value systems, and so limiting and defining myself in self-dishonesty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a high value on an experience of sex - defining it as the best possible experience I can have for myself, when in actuality, I realize that all moments must be Equalized as Equal to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the belief that within the act of having sex I am doing something good by making another person feel good. I realize that this justification is another program designed to 'make me feel better about myself' in order to feed the mind with energy, and that each person must take responsibility for themselves to stop enslavement to Equalize and direct themselves as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sex as 'good' or 'bad' from the starting point of a morality based belief system, rather than assessing myself in self-honesty and self-intimacy, in order to determine and create myself as what is in fact, best for all.

I commit myself to stop all enslavement to energetically charged systems of the mind and so face myself in self-honesty in every moment so that I may stand Equal to myself in the physical as Life, here. 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 27 - Love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I could experience love for myself while the rest of the world suffers.  And in so, I justified my personal and selfish desire for love through the excuse -  'It's to big for me to understand' - 'there's nothing I can do about it' and 'it's too scary for me to consider'.  Never allowing myself to realize and understand that all the fictitious bandage excuses I used were only a cover up, and never able to stop my addiction to the desire to experience love - in spite of the big picture - I always knew my love wasn't real, the evidence was all around me, every moment of my existence, I was just too afraid to face who I am for real, and in so, I denied who I am, and traded my eternal self for a morphine high, subject to the ultimate low of death, as complete self-denial.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is a spiritual 'heart of love' out there somewhere, in the great beyond, that has accounted for - numbered, and made a record of, all my feelings of love that I had in my life, so that I in my selfish mind, could use these thoughts of love to comfort myself in thinking that I lived a good life - because I felt feelings of love.  Yet I never allowed myself to realize that these feelings of love can only exist within a physical body - therefore when my body dies, all my love DIES with it - completely proving that my love was never real, but only fleeting feelings of selfishness to cover my guilt and shame of who I had accepted and allowed myself to become - as a self-deceiver that did not give my whole life to expose spite, and honor all life Equally.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the lie that love is forever, when in fact love is subject to time and death, and cannot exist without me or the earth - as a physical expression of me, as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my love is sweet and caring, when in fact, my love has only the appearance of sweetness, but it is a deadly poisoned apple, seducing and killing all who eat it through a slow and painful death by corruption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my love as bait to lure others into my traps of guilt, shame and desire for revenge I experienced within myself, so that I could have company in my judgement against life, sighting legalities and false justifications, in my self-denial, misery and deceitfulness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself through thinking that I wanted love when what I really wanted was sex, as an energy high to pacify my irresponsibility to life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become entranced and enchanted with thoughts of love and delight, seeking nothing but fulfillment of selfish desire, in full awareness of how I was injecting hatred and enmity into all of existence as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to celebrate the lie of love, and in so manifest the extreme polarity as murder, rape and killing in my world because I laughingly accepted my own lie, thinking I could somehow escape myself, and would not have to face the consequences of what I had allowed myself to become.     

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am brave because I accepted the lie of love, I am brave because I can deny myself,  I am brave because I see fear in the reactions of others, I am brave because I can cheat death,  'I must be a supreme God' because I can abuse love - when the reality is no one is able to cheat death, as the manifested consequence of what we have allowed through the belief in love - which is spite - as fear of self.

I commit myself to expose the lie of love and its deception which is used by Hollywood, media, and corporations to sell more products to fuel consumerism for profit resulting in the corruption of life and the destruction of our planet.

I commit myself to live myself here as breath in every moment facing myself for who I am as a physical being that does not require love from an outside source.  I embrace, support and care for myself as I embrace, support and care for all life as changing myself and our world into a place where life is honored in Equality

I commit myself to stand for and support the only solution that will bring us out of the massive problems and consequences we face in our world.  Equal Money for All.

I commit myself to bring awareness of Equality to those who do not fully understand the deception propagated by corporations, Hollywood, media and politicians in our world through blogging and sharing and becoming a living example of what is best for all

I commit myself to give all of myself to Life as Equality as breath as aligning myself with the physical in all ways so that I may become the living expression of life, Equal and One, until it is done.

Day 20 - What would you do with a Million Dollars?

What images flashed in your head?

Would you explore the world, entertain and be entertained, buy expensive gifts for yourself and others? Would you use all your free time doing things that you enjoy, and so leverage your time to gain fame, recognition, or even more wealth!?  

Most people desire money, because in this current world system, money can buy virtually any desire we have... even love!  Look at the point - If you have money, not only can you survive, but you will have access to all the necessities and luxuries to support your life.  Additionally, you can live a clean, rich and healthy lifestyle, with lots of free time, free from life threatening stresses many without money face in our world daily.  Many people will want to be around you (especially members of the opposite sex) because you have lots of money, even if you are an ass, its really not that hard to put on a fake face and act out a likeable personality - just look around you, everyone is doing it, everyone is a faker for money.  Rather disgusting isn't it.

Oh but you're not a faker you say?   Really?  Take a moment to ask yourself if you have any personal desires such as money, happiness, friends, career, home, travel.

Do you realize that every one of your desires is actually a FEAR in disguise?

Yes, interestingly your desires are not real in fact, because you are living in denial of yourself and supporting your fears, and fear is not real - it is self-deception. 

Money not only changes who you are, but actually DICTATES who you are.  In fact, you are not true to who you really are because of money.  Money - as the manifestation of greed and self-interest - rules this world. It is utterly corrupt and abused, and since we are all subject to money, we too are greedy and corrupted, and so it ruins our lives.  Only we do not see to what extent it does so, because we have been programmed to accept the system as 'just the way it is' and 'unchangeable'.  The truth is, we only accept it as unchangeable because we do not desire to change ourselves - because we see no money in it for us!!

And so the program runs in a loop.  We program our children to be better than others so they can win and get money.  Our children then succumb to personal desires and abuse money in self-interest and fear for their survival.  Through those desires they then accept the system as unchangeable and so fear changing themselves... and so the cycle of abuse continues.  

There is only ONE desire that is not fear based, and that is EQUALITY.  Within Equality and an Equal Money System where everyone's needs are met, we can stop fear and self-interest entirely. We can change ourselves to stop abuse and corruption, and live in the best interest of all.

There is no excuse to live in fear and denial of ourselves.  No excuse for being a faker.  We all reap the consequences if we allow greed and selfish desires to persist.  This leaves only one question: 

Will you stand for all Life within Equality, and support an Equal Money System, or will you try to hide in your selfishness.   My challenge to you is to see past your ego and fears, to stop being a faker and investigate Desteni and Equal Money. 
 

7yr Journey to Life - Day 12 - Domination

Every time we have a thought, it is accepted and allowed desire for Submission or Domination.  And so, we have Dominated ourselves, and all become slaves to our minds. 

Domination is often played out in sexual fantasy games such as BDSM.  Why is it that we enjoy these experiences?  For the most part, we are seeking energetic experiences through pushing our limitations of fear and pain.  But the interesting part is that this type of experience can create an addiction to an energetic rush of fear and excitement, where we are seeking a limited personal bliss as a form of enlightenment, rather than actually transcending our fears and directing ourselves to become effective and do what is necessary to be done to change our world as a whole.  

Humans are considered the 'Dominant' species.  Yet, do we humans ever consider what we are Dominating? Is it not obvious that through our desire for Domination, we are acting like Dominoes in killing and destroying all life on earth?    Domination is the polarity of Submission, so we have also desired Submission through wanting others to take responsibility for us rather than taking responsibility for ourselves. All mankind has ever done throughout history is seek Domination through war and conflict in the quest for power and control.

The solution to the problem is common sense within understanding who we really are as Equals.

Therefore the only thing that stands in the way of becoming life - Self-Realization.  And there are only 2 things that stand in the way of self-realization;

Fear and Resistance.

Both of which are programs taught to us through our predecessors.  And so we believed them because we thought them to be 'wise' and 'understanding'.  Yet if we look at our current existence, it is plain to see that clearly they lacked understanding - because we still have a world full of humans who heedlessly seek Domination, power and control.  Why do we allow this?  Because the Domination and Submission systems exist within US.

What is the Fear?

Simply facing who we really are as physical beings rather than 'ideas' and 'opinions' and 'beliefs' of who we are.  Personalities and status identities in conflicting rivalries that resonate and manifest war both inside ourselves and outside as our world as a whole.

We are all Equally responsible.   So how do we stop conflict and war?  By individually taking responsibility to stop supporting and participating in ideas, opinions, beliefs and egotistical personalities, erroneously thinking 'that is who we are'.  Nonsense.  Certainly we can all agree on the one and only absolute reality that is not debatable - We are physical beings on a physical planet.  In so doing, we will actually work to create Heaven on Earth.

Common Sense. If everyone on earth gave everything they had instead of greedily hoarding the resources on our planet - EVERYONE would have access to EVERYTHING they need and more than they could ever imagine. We would all live RICH and fulfilling lives beyond our wildest dreams, and for the first time ever in existence - we would not have to fight for our survival, but we would actually LIVE - through giving.  Every day would be ten thousand times better than the best Christmas anyone ever had!

What is the Resistance? 

Change.  Believing that we cannot change because we are so afraid of letting go of our personal desires and beliefs.  Hung up on guilt and self condemnation.  Hung up on living in self-interest.  Hung up on fears of what we would have to give up.  All mind created non-sense that does not take into consideration what it is we are actually sacrificing by NOT giving up our self-interest and false ideas of free choice.  Change happens only though self-forgiveness and self-correction.

Domination is not Life.   Can we all agree to Live for once, and for All?


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek Domination as that of desiring power and control through egotistical desires and personality constructs that I have accepted and allowed as real throughout my life experience when they were not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and Dominate myself as the physical reality and in so create machines of enslavement, where I thought I would find comfort and happiness, but instead I found only misery and delusion as being subject to, and less than my physical existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a Domino effect within my reality through inconsideration of myself as Equal to my reality and in so I found myself subject to consequential outflows of fear, suffering and enslavement, which I allowed though my active participation within fear and not transcending resistance to change myself into that which stands for what is best for all in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect myself and be ignorant of the fact that desiring energetic experiences of myself as pictures in my mind in self-interest are not in fact real, but me attempting to Dominate myself in fear of facing who I am.  I realize that I am here as the physical and so must face resistance and use it as a tool in establishing who I am as Equal to my world and my reality.  Therefore I take responsibility to stand within the realization that - who I am affects my world and my reality as me in resonant agreement to unconditionally stand for Equality of Life in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek Submission as enslavement to systems, whereby I do not live but exist as an organic robot slave.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek Submission as enslavement as trying to escape responsibility to direct myself and avoid facing myself as who I am as co-creator of existence here within manifested consequential outflows which reflect to me myself.  I no longer accept and allow myself to desire to be directed by systems, but I choose to live as Equal, as self-direction and in so I give myself to Life so that I may give and all may see that giving is the way to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be a Master and in so create myself as a slave to my own creation as systems.