177 - Commitments

I am Here

I commit myself to stand Equal to the physical in this Life

I commit myself to realize that speaking words resonates within my physical body and changes me

I commit myself to re-program myself through writing, speaking words as me, and standing Equal to my words


I commit myself to speak words that support Equality of Life

I commit myself to speak myself to Life - OUT LOUD

I commit myself to speak myself to Life even when I don't feel like it


I commit myself to learn to take responsibility for myself, my world, and my words

I commit myself to challenge my self-imposed limitations of mind

I commit myself to transcending the desire for comfort and self-interest

I commit myself to create myself as the directive principle of myself

I commit myself to enjoy my opportunity to become Life

I commit myself to redefine fear as the sign that points the way and shows me what I need to face and direct

I commit myself to enjoy pushing my resistances when I am challenged by the mind/ego

I commit myself to Educate myself to understand the process of becoming Life

I commit myself to constantly work at being here in and as the physical through breathing

I commit myself to enjoy my work

I commit myself to redefine work - to creating myself as Life

I commit myself to sharing my process and realizations with others

I commit myself to re-peat these words that support Life until all points are transcended

I commit myself to continue to support myself through purifying my words until I stand absolute as Life here

I commit myself to realize that making videos is very supportive of myself and others

I commit myself to move myself for no other reason but to support what is Best for All

I commit myself to - when a personality system arise - stop myself within breath to see the starting point of what triggered the personality/pattern so I can forgive myself and speak or write words to change myself.

161 - Parental Cloning Part 2

Continuing from yesterdays post - http://transmutation-process.blogspot.com/2013/01/160-parental-cloning-part-1.html


As children, we are dragged in all directions, attempting to keep a balance between our personal drive for fun and exploring our expression, while trying to understand and keep out of trouble with our parents and various other relationships.  I recall my parents constantly saying to me "Why don't you listen!?".  I never really understood or tried to answer that question actually, until they had repeated it about 15 times or so, then one day I decided to ask myself,... the only answer I could come up with was 'because I don't want to'.

I found it very odd that they actually expected me to enthusiastically obey and carry out their every wish - so I could be just like them?  All clean and proper all the time so I could appear presentable and in-style to others?  Looking back now, it is apparent that they thought of me as a lesser object, of which I owed them my worship and devotion. I recall being instructed to tell them 'I loved them' - how disgusting.  Whats just as disgusting is that I was too afraid to tell them what I actually thought.  Yet I had already been punished for stating how I truly felt in the past, and I deemed myself too young to fend for myself on the streets.

There were the frequent guilt trips which were mostly spoken out of frustration about total insignificant issues like shoes lying in the wrong place... Parent A "I bust my ass all day so I can put food on the table, the least you can do is..." - as if to make a person feel guilty just for being alive!  Eventually I did get a paper route of my own when I was 11 yrs old, at which time the constant nagging began to wear off for the most part.

What my parents never understood is that they were trying to impose a form of 'love' which, in their imagination was real to them, yet to the recipient of this 'love' - it is quite repulsive.  It was clear that they expected me to repay this same 'love' by having children of my own some day "Just wait till you have kids of your own... you'll see" they said, expecting I would play the same 'guilt and frustration' song and dance.  No, but thanks for all the training.  I had already taken in enough programming from them, school, church and friends to lay significant guilt trips on myself, punishing myself for reasons I didn't even understand.  This lead to many problems within self-suppression and not understanding myself, and so extensively compromising myself out of low self-esteem and a rebellious personality construct.  

I was very happy to finally move out on my own at 17, although I was facing a world which I did not understand.  I was full of dissonance within myself and without, casting myself to the mercy of the system to see if I could survive.

There is much I could rant about how much I despised my parents, however I see that they were just participants in the system I was also participating in, and had also created through my acceptances and allowances.  There is no point in blaming them, as I see how the whole system works now - one big guilt trip, disguised as 'love' so people punish themselves and others within the belief and excuse that they are 'doing it for love' and so the lucky ones remains in the semi-comfortable arms of a programmed system of  love/hate.

The real problem is that it's all fear - Fear of Self - Fear of Self-honesty - Fear of the Truth of who we are.  Its funny really... how we fear ourselves.  It would seem like that would be such an easy thing to see and transcend?  Its just me... you... here... how long will we endure this cruel game of hide and seek?

Everyone has fallen for the big delusion, so its not like anyone has to continue to feel guilty for it, especially now that we understand the solution - Self forgiveness and 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'... seeing ourselves as Equals in a shared physical reality - now there is no excuse, because once one is faced with the absolute truth of themselves, it is apparent, and inescapable, the big lie of who we are is completely exposed.  Interestingly we can deny it through a belief system, however, no belief holds water -  it is composed of an imaginary, second-hand opinion, grasped in hope that someone will verify its authenticity and make us feel better so we don't have to face our self-dishonesty and take responsibility to change ourselves.  This trap will take considerable work to get out of.

Join the Journey to Life 

Self Support at Eqafe.com

Day 151 – Android

I Watched the movie Prometheus tonight.  I here reflect on the character that played the robot/android.  I see how this character conducted himself to a strict regimen, taking speaking lessons upon waking up, and efficiently, at the same time eating breakfast.  This character expressed no feelings or emotions, as it had no capacity to do so given its internal programming, feeling and emotion was irrelevant and not necessary.  The function of the robot was to support the mission, and support human beings.

It is interesting, because this process (journey to life) would be interpreted by my mind as me ‘becoming a robot’ to no longer be subject to feelings and emotional programming. At the same time living within the primary function/principle of supporting all life in Equality.  

This fear, where my mind creates the idea that if I were to give up my mind as the program, I would become a robot, is deception.  The opposite is actually true – I already am a robot - if I am controlled by programs (thoughts/beliefs/opinions etc.) which trigger feelings and emotions which control me and cause me to act in self-interest and irresponsibility to life. 

So my responsibility, is not to stop all my feelings and emotions, but to stop judging them and being controlled by them.  In doing so, I learn to direct myself (and my feelings and emotions) in what is best for everyone, and my feelings and emotions are re-aligned, to no longer be based in self-interest, but are expressed in self-honesty and consideration for others – thus extended outward to include everything and everyone in existence, so that life can be supported, as without life, there would be no expression in or of existence.

I realize I have the power and responsibility to change and re-program myself using self-forgiveness as the tool of self-realization and self-correction.  In that, I am able to make the decision to live what is best for all, as Equality… equalizing myself with what is here, as my physical body, so I myself can be supported as an Equal, and all abuse of life can stop. 

So the point is to stop being a robot slave.

Join the Journey to Life

Day 75 - The Ultimate Root of All Evil - FamiLIES

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - when I was a child, give in to fear as believing it to be greater and more powerful than myself, and in so create the belief that my Parents were God, and so I Worshiped them and perceived them as something I had to attain to, as 'Higher', and 'Better Than' myself, and so I allowed them to teach and Program me that - they were always Right, Just and honest.  Yet what I did not realize was that my Parents were Imposters of God, and this was a reflection of me, of how I imposed fear on myself, with the resultant consequence of me caving in to the Fear of Death, as the memories of trauma and pain I experienced at birth. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a Parent - as an Imposter of God - with the appearance of goodness, while in reality I was a Wicked Deceiver of Life, because I only cared about my Characters Limited Perception of Reality in Selfishness, as the false belief that I am 'Better Than' my child, and so I refused to be honest with myself and take responsibility for all Life as Equal as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do good deeds and promote 'good' causes, to hide and cover up my Selfishness, as the Desire for Power and Higher Status in my family system.  I realize that I was reluctant to For-Give myself due to fear - not realizing that this manifested and fueled the abuse of Life, as my personal Revenge on myself, through self-deception in the false beliefs of who I AM as separate from my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself in the character and role of a Pay-Rent, so that I could feel good about myself within my Secret desire to Dominate Life, as Revenge for the pain I felt because I had accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself through being Dominated by my own Pay-Rents.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the consequences of imposing my will as Vengeance on physically weaker and defenseless children through me programming them in my belief systems - through using my own crafty fear based system of reward and punishment - to re-enforce their fear for their survival, and so forcing my children to believe that they have to deceive themselves in creating for themselves a False Morality System, if they want to avoid suffering and survive in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a Parent, create the false idea of Heaven, wherein if my child Obeys my Holy Command(ment)s as a good Servant and Slave, they will be rewarded peace, comfort, rest, food, Television and Games. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Force my children through reward and punishment, to believe that if they don't follow my Rules and Serve my Holy Opinions as a Self-Righteous Parent God, they will go through a life of Hell, as Fear, Anger, and Suffering that I projected and created for them in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, as a Grand Parent, to portray the Care-actor of myself as a form of Supreme Righteousness and Holiness through my perfected Art of Deception and Subversion, as the appearance of gentleness, kindness and false love so that I could in fear, Win the Favor of the child as a Favorite, in order to re-enforce their belief in the system of Lies as the FamiLIE.  As the Grand Parent, I am often the one who smLIES the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an Evil Dictator of Life as a Parent, as I am the first and primary influence on a child when it is born, therefore I am directly responsible for the creation and development of a child, thus I am directly responsible for making sure that the child creates and accepts Characteristics as Personalities for him/herself, as suppression of self, rather than live the True Expression of self in self-honesty, as a physical expression of Equality, as what is Best for All.

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Hierarchy, Dictatorship and Control as The Fam-I-LIE 

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Belief Systems, False Hopes, and False Dreams - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Pride, Valuation, and Ownership - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Competition, Greed, and Lust for Power - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Secrets, Pretentiousness, and Hate  - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Rejection, Fear, and Loneliness - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Domination, Submission and Predation - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Imposters, Characters, and False Gods - FamiLIES
 
I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Wickedness, Deception and Lies - FamiLIES

I commit myself to expose the root and starting point of Fakeness, Fuckedness, and Evil Suppression of Life - FamiLIES

I commit myself to Reveal what is Real as Self - Here, as Equality - In that all must Change to no longer be Enslaved to False Fears which are Hosted and Bred through - FamiLIES. 


I commit myself to See/Realize/Understand that without FamiLIES, Each Being would have no choice but to become Self-Responsible to Life, and so Life would be born in the Physical For Real.

Day 46 - Before Its Too Late

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by money, where my feelings are determined by the number in my bank account.  I realize we live in a system that is not Equal or fair in any way, but destructive in nature and that it came to be through my acceptances and allowances.  Therefore there is no choice in the matter, I must stand up for life and change myself so that I can change the system to stop the abuse of life and create a new system that supports life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think only of myself, where I lived in the belief that the rest of the world was not my responsibility and the belief that I did not create this mess, when in fact I did create this mess through my acceptances and allowances and participating in a system based on greed and self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame others such as politicians, stock market traders, bankers and those that attain money easily through leverage tactics and deliberate harm such as drug dealers and criminal activities groups.  I realize that I am no better than any of these people because I myself allowed the system to function through my direct participation, and therefore I am equally guilty for the demise of life as anyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system which tolerates abuse of life in infinite ways through the promotion of capitalism, consumerism, war, slavery and all types of cruelty and disregard for life.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system based on fear where three quarters of the world are struggling to survive because money and resources to make money is extremely difficult if not impossible to attain. I realize that this type of capitalistic system promotes fear as the primary driving force for life and thus many are so driven by fear they will stop at nothing to obtain money, even killing and torturing other human beings and animals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the deliberate murder of those who are unfortunately are out of the loop, unable to attain resources that are necessary to survive such as medicine, health care, food, water and shelter.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where people are so fearful that it is necessary to have a police force, military, and weapons that can destroy the whole planet. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system that breeds clones that mimic eachother out of fear of facing themselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where parents punish their children into submission and submit them to an education system that programs them to be good slaves to the system rather than allowing them to express themselves as life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system of religion where people are so fearful of an imaginary god that they don't even realize they are funneling money into the system which perpetuates false beliefs and false people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where money is given more value than Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system where profit and greed are promoted through the media in a propaganda war against Life to keep the masses blind to the fact that they are living in a system of enslavement, functioning as organic robot slaves to money, profit and greed.

I commit myself to stand for life in appling myself in self-honesty to stop the mind system of consciosness that is conning all of humanity into self-delusion and self-destruction.

I commit myself to expose all the abusive ways the system is being sustained through selfishness and inconsideration for everyone as a whole.

I commit myself to realize and see and understand what is really going on in my world and reality so that I can do what is necessary to be done, as standing with the group that stands for what is best for all.

I commit myself to align myself with the physical in stopping participation in the mind as that which is based on energy and pictures/thoughts/feelings/emotions/perceptions/beliefs/ideas and opinions which do not support life.