7yr Journey to Life Day 41 - Aligning the Compass

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as definitions of being less than, whereby I limit myself and punish myself in not embracing and accepting myself here, where I can change myself in each moment.  I realize I have allowed this because I have held onto the belief (of being less than the physical as me) and that I was subject/slave to systems of my mind that I have accepted and allowed in my life through self-imposed fear of myself. 

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by me embracing myself here and realizing that I am fully capable and responsible to change myself to direct myself in each moment, I am making the only logical decision to stop myself from being enslaved to a spiteful program which professes the absurdity that abuse and suffering is 'just the way it is', and such is life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget how utterly detestable this existence actually is, and in so realizing I can use this knowledge to push myself, change myself and realize myself as Equal, and stand as a physical being not influenced by the mind of the make believe world of consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pity myself or my world as I realize that each must take responsibility for self, and that I cannot help myself or anyone through pity, as this only stems from false perceptions and ideas of the mind as the desire to be a savior and/or to fuel a belief that I am in some way good in the polarity game of good/evil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future.  I realize that my responsibility lies here in each moment as breath, and therefore future consequences only play out as a result of me not taking responsibility here in each moment.  I realize I am limited in my ability to change already existent consequences in my world, yet that does not excuse me from taking responsibility to do what I am able here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate on getting things done because I fear making decisions.  I realize that if I take too long in making decisions then I am making the decision to 'not make a decision' and therefore sabotaging myself through stagnation as not moving myself effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have more responsibility that what is here as what I have created for myself.  I realize that for me to have more responsibility, I must first take responsibility for what is here as me, and so become responsible to myself in my agreement with myself to become absolutely Equal in every way within and as myself in this life.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that in order to get things done that are priorities in my life, it is necessary to sacrifice that which is not necessary, and in so I must prioritize myself and discipline myself to not accept and allow myself to fall victim to consequence of lack of responsibility to prioritize things in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking risks.  I realize that everything I do entails some risk, therefore I must carefully calculate the risks I take so that all outflows are considered and in so I can make responsible decisions that are common sense and best for all.

I commit myself to embracing myself within developing self-trust as myself - this I can do through taking responsibility for myself in each moment as doing what is necessary to be done, therefore proving and establishing self-trust here as myself where self-judgement is no longer necessary, as I stand Equal to all as myself.

I commit myself share my realizations with others unconditionally - to those that will hear. Those that do not hear, I will not waste my words. 

I commit myself to stand Equal to each moment and situation that arises within my experience of myself here, and in so take responsibility through accountability and accumulation within the Equality equation 1+1=2...

I commit myself establish myself as self-trust and self-responsibility and self-honesty through walking each layer of myself back to the starting point of how it was created and thereby deconstructing the illusions and beliefs I allowed through my participation in fear and self-sabotage.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 28 - Surprise

Ok so took a little bike ride this evening while thinking of my blog topic, was planning on addressing the falseness of how love is expressed in our world, but that will have to wait for another time, as something unexpected occurred.

It was dusk, and I was on my way back home when I saw a faint shadow by the edge of the road.  I thought it was a porcupine but it turned out to be a baby raccoon. So I went up to it and picked it up - very young baby right by the side of the road.  I immediately wanted to keep it, but was not really sure of all the implications and so I let him down and he awkwardly stumbled away. I was thinking this is strange him being all alone like this.  So I went closer to him and he stumbled a bit further away. I assumed he didn't want to come home with me.  Then I noticed a cardboard box and a plastic food tray nearby and hear another little squeaking in the bush. Sure enough another little one popped out.

So it appears that someone found the youngsters and left them by the road in the box.  So I put them in the box and took them home.  When I got to my house, I saw a pack of 4 raccoons at my driveway.  I sometimes leave food out for them so they are often around my house.  I thought if I could get them to realize I had two of their pups, maybe they would take them... but how could I do that.  I dunno.  Now what lol.

I took them inside and tried to feed them but they were too frightened to eat.  They were afraid to move until I began petting them, and then they began hobbling about.  I pet them for a while till  they got comfortable and calmed down and eventually began to fall asleep.  

On the back of one's head was a bit raw and I thought he was injured, but the other had been licking it in an effort to comfort eachother, so I knew they were under some stress. 

The sounds they make are really interesting, the sound is almost like a cross between a cats purr and a monkey.  I would really like to keep them, I realize there is a big responsibility and I don't know what all is entailed, will have to do some research.  I suspect that people in this area would frown on having raccoons as pets.  Will have to see what happens I guess.  I'm really not sure what to do at this point.  They are sleeping on my couch atm. 

In an Equal Money System all life would be cared for without question.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 13 - Interlock Step and Walkway

Today I was working on covering an existing step and walkway with some new patio stones.  My fingers were constantly wet, so they became very wrinkled.  I joked to myself how old they looked "I am old Gandalf..." lol.  It occurred to me that I was drowning the cells in my fingers and they were telling me they had had enough.  My gloves as well were worn out.  But I could not stop working.  I had a job to do - and the man I was doing the job for wanted it done asap.  So I really had no choice.

Then the man began mentioning the price of the saw rental and how that if I got done sooner, he would be able to return it and save money.  So I reacted in unawares by getting a bit stressed over the fact that I now had to work more hours today and then get up very early tomorrow to finish the cutting as soon as I could so he could save money.   I began making dangerous cuts on small pieces of stone and having anxiety - This is typically how frustration system would be triggered, but I did not allow myself to get frustrated.

It began to rain and thunder and lightning.  I went to my truck for a break till it passed.  I realized what was happening in the truck and did self-forgiveness for participating in anxiety based on the man's fear of losing money.  After a short break, I continued working in the rain trying to get as much done as possible.  The saw was soaking wet and I got 3 small electric shocks from the saw, so I cleaned up the site a bit and finished for the day. 

Point here being that I am subject to to fight for as much money as I can get to survive in this system.  To the extent that I have to continue working even though my body does not want to work anymore.  We have disregarded life as our bodies in order to 'be better' and 'look superior'.  We have chosen the idea that we can just force our physical bodies to do our bidding despite what our bodies can handle, thus we push them to extremes.  Its no wonder why we live very short lives and die.

My fingers are still wrinkled so I put some vitamin E on my hands and they feel a bit better - Vitamin E is very good for healing skin by the way. 

In an Equal Money system, we could all work at a pace where we don't have to overwork our bodies because we would realize that we have to treat our bodies with care and respect, as Equal to who we are.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in stress and anxiety in compromising myself in unawares when the man mentioned that he wanted to save money.  I realize I was trying to be a 'nice guy' and a 'good worker' by sympathizing with his wishes and fears rather than standing as Equal to who I am as my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sympathize with others and trying to solve their problems for them through sacrificing my own self-honesty in an attempt to be a 'nice guy' and a 'good guy' and a 'savior'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and save other people because I want to appear as 'mr responsible' for others meanwhile not realizing I am compromising myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the point of transcendence because I was unaware in the moment, because I am giving people more respect than they deserve as we are all Equals. 

Why I Was Able To Hear The Desteni Message

I was brought to church on Sundays as a kid and went to some religious camps, so I started off with the basic religious program in my head. When I was around the age of 8, I asked myself a question, "What do you want to do in life?". So I thought about it for a few seconds, and replied to myself "I want to help people". I remember hearing a voice in my head saying "You are just like Jesus". I shook my head and said no, no way. I see now that I feared myself and could not trust myself. Somehow I was worried that if I were equal to Jesus, I might allow myself to fall into greed and ego. I was also worried about how I would have to express myself, I didnt want to look funny in front of people or stand out.

As a child, I often reflecting to myself, my inner thoughts. I recall one summer lying on the grass, just staring at the sky for a long time. Why was the world so fake? And why was everyone acting like everything is OK when it was clearly not? This struck a chord in me which laid the foundation for a distrusting attitude in my teens. No way was I going to trust a system that did not address this core issue that was in myself, even though I did not yet have the answers, I knew what I was experiencing was in many ways, not real. I longed for realness inside myself, but I did not know how to get it.

A profound experience I recall in my teens, was during a hard rock concert. I remember seeing all these cool people, they were all so interesting, i wanted to talk and share with them all. Many were just like me. And then I felt this overwhelming sadness. I was realizing that, this moment we were all experiencing, would just pass away..? I couldn't explain it, yet it was there, clear as ever. Why is it like this? I thought to myself in an attempt to understand.

I experienced a car accident when I was around 19. We were all drinking, and I flew out the back of a pickup when the driver hit a wall. I had smashed my head and was knocked unconscious. When I came to, my brother was in front of me holding my hand with a police officer was behind him swinging a flashlight. I became quite scared at this point, and asked my other friend to hold my hand as well. I thought maybe I was dying. Maybe this was it, just like that. "I'm not ready", I repeated to myself in fear.

I spent the night in the hospital and was released the next day with some stitches in my face. Like a big reality check, this was the wake up call I needed. I could have easily been killed. Experiences such as this can really help 'open ones eyes'. I looked at myself differently after this, now I had to understand what was my responsibility here in this life. And having a religious upbringing, I figured I would find out what god wanted from me.

I decided to read the bible, and a certain verse convicted me of my 'double-mindedness'. I was living two separate personalities I saw within myself. I felt absolutely terrible about this, I knew I wasn't being real with myself, so I immediately became a zealous christian after that.

A few years after being Christian, I was told by someone, and confirmed by others that I was very 'close' to god, which I naively believed. It was an interesting experience, thinking you are a god lol. I imagine there are many others who fall for that as well. But it really did give me insights into myself that I would not have otherwise had. I became less afraid of god, and was able to question things about him and different religions and things like aliens etc.

Through this I practiced Buddhism and spent quite a few years studying many other mystical teachings, trying to get all the answers while waiting for heaven to arrive. It was then that I found the Desteni videos on the History of Mankind. I was immediately captivated. How the **** did this young girl know all this **** that I had been studying for years, and I didn't even have the answers to this stuff yet!?? I was a little pissed yes, but, I was far more intrigued. She had ALL the answers to EVERYTHING. And it all fit PERFECTLY in a perfect picture puzzle.

I watched videos sometimes 8 hours or more a day. I couldn't get enough. It was around 2 weeks that I was listening to the parts where Anu was being described. Because I had such a "close relationship" with god, I could see how he was deliberately lying to everyone. And sadly, I had accepted that, fearing for my own ass. Suddenly, it hit me... I realized, wow... if he is lying to everyone else then.... zomg! I felt like such an idiot. But, not much I could do but say wow like a hundred times.

Shortly thereafter I went out and deliberately committed a whole bunch of 'sins' hahahaaa. But the main realization that I had was the fact that, I could be EQUAL to people. This was such a huge relief to me, this is what I always wanted, where everyone is accepted and considered equally, smallest to the highest, a TOTAL DREAM COME TRUE! This was me, for real.

So within my experience, I can see how I put the pieces of the puzzle together throughout my life in asking questions of myself and getting some answers for myself. The bottom line for me was that I wanted the truth from a young age, and I was willing to sacrifice myself to get it. The fears and hatred for the way our world exists helped push me along. I gave up a lot of things for my realization, but I'm eternally grateful that I did, and I would not trade it for anything. People can have all their money and greed and delusion, its not gonna last. And then what will they do when they have no choice but to face themselves as who they really are? Not going to be a pretty sight... until we learn to stand as equals in every way, rough road ahead for everyone.

Study Desteni people, you will be glad you did... and that is an indescribably, huge understatement.
Desteni-I-Process

No more children trained for Mafia

In Mumbai India, doctors are paid to chop off the healthy arms and legs off hundreds of young children, scores of others have been blinded. The mafia gangs also pour acid on to the children’s bodies, leaving them with suppurating wounds. Crippled children generate more money as tourists sympathize with the children.

This practice was vaguely portrayed in the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Yet the situation is far worse that what was depicted in the movie.

"Complaints to the police are pointless. With the beggar mafia making more than £20 million a year in Mumbai alone, corrupt officers ensure that the trade thrives. According to official figures, as many as 44,000 children fall into the clutches of the beggar mafia in India each year and of these, hundreds are deliberately mutilated.

However, some charities say that the figure could be as high as a million. Most of the victims are under ten. ‘They are taught the most appropriate place to beg, the kind of people one should approach, and the kind of mannerisms that would make people sympathize,’ says Mufti Imran, a researcher with Save the Children"

Not all the ‘disappeared’ children are maimed or turned into beggars. But all face a truly grim future. According to human rights groups, some are forced into child pornography and used as sex slaves. Others are killed and have their organs sold to wealthy Indians.

Obviously this practice is savage and cruel, yet we have made it 'acceptable' by allowing a capitalistic system to exist. How is anyone able to say capitalism is acceptable when this is the direct consequence?

Living in self-interest, we are only concerned for our own well being and that of our families. So the root of the problem is us who have money, and in us not standing up to stop it, we are equally responsible as those who perform these acts of violence.

How would you feel if your limbs were amputated as a child so you could make money for gangs? Many will say 'oh its just the way the system works, you can't change it'. That is seditious and unacceptable. The solution is simple, an Equal Money System would stop all abuse and no longer allow such horrifying practices to continue.

Are we aware of these atrocities going on in our world? Multitudes of other disgraceful torture is currently happening that is not seen or reported in our world because of the acceptance of capitalism. This capitalist system is the destroyer of life. How much suffering will we allow before we say Enough already! Stand up and support a dignified life for all. Equal Money for All.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127056/The-real-Slumdog-Millionaires-Behind-cinema-fantasy-mafia-gangs-deliberately-crippling-children-profit.html#ixzz1h24RtrV4