169 - Setting Goals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset with myself and judge myself because I have not achieved the goals that I have set for myself.

I realize that resentment towards myself for not achieving goals does not help the situation, it is giving up on myself in rebellion and blame towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and others for the fact that I have not achieved goals.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rebel against myself for not achieving goals.

I realize that I am not to blame myself for not achieving my goals, as I am still existing within a corrupt money system which constricts my capacity to achieve goals.

I also realize that through consistent application of achieving small goals will eventually lead to larger goals through the accumulation factor of 1+1+1.

When and as I see that I have not achieved a goal for myself, I clear my starting point to here in order to find and address the reason(s) why through writing, and so re-align the point within myself through taking self-responsibility.

Rather than get upset with myself, I move myself to redo the process of setting a goal for myself.

When and as I find that I am defining the process of setting goals difficult or futile, I clear my starting point to here as breath within my commitment to myself to stand for Life in self-honesty, which is my foremost and ultimate goal - to be honest with myself always, in all ways, and in that I have no choice in the matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define goal setting as complicated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define goal setting as useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is something that I am not able to see that is obstructing me from achieving my goals, and so use that as an excuse to give up on myself and go into a state of depression within myself.

I realize that when things appear to be complicated or frustrating that that is the the point of resistance where I must push myself - through trusting myself to stand and be honest with myself.

I commit myself to - whenever I become discouraged with myself - to SIMPLIFY that matter to being here with myself and moving myself in what way I am able.

I commit myself to set small goals for myself so that I can learn how to support myself through setting goals, so that I can be effective in changing myself and supporting Equality of Life for All.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 34 - Pushing Resistances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself my best in every moment.  In this, I realize that at times I just want to give in to resistances if I feel tired or unmotivated - yet what I  realize is that I have been limiting myself extensively within the belief/thought that "I will not be able to push through this resistance".  Within this, I am 'keeping score' on myself within my mind as a success/fail 'valuation' where I project myself as 'having already lost' so that I may allow myself to instantly 'give in' and experience the comfort of the temporary stress release that - the mind game is temporarily over.

What I also realize in this is that, in moments where I feel resistance such as tiredness, drudgery, fear of loss, or anxiety etc. - I can stop the 'success/fail/0-1' scoring method, and instead PUSH myself within a resistance without anticipating the outcome beforehand.  If I push through completely, great - if eventually (for example with tiredness) I rest - so be it - but I do not instantly give in, but rather push myself within the resistance as best I can in each moment.  In this, I am able to transform myself and stop the 'mind game' of winning/losing within myself - and thus stop the judgement and guilt that is associated with it, because I am actively pushing my resistances to stop being enslaved to the mind system.

What often happens when I face a resistance is that, a thought/belief will emerge such as 'if I push this resistance now, it will not go away, and I will have to push it ALL DAY LONG '.  Thus the negative feeling comes up and I do not even want to push the resistance at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately because I accept and allow thoughts of 'I will not be able to push through this resistance' which limits me and tricks me into immediately give in to resistances without pushing myself at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately without pushing myself because I have placed a score/value as a win/loss or success/fail within my mind of how the outcome will be of me pushing my resistances, thus allowing myself to fall victim to judgement and guilt of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the idea that I will have to face this resistance all day long, rather than bringing myself here as breath and taking the point step by step.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my full potential by not pushing my resistances thus allowing myself to give in and diminish myself within limitations of the mind/ego/beliefs.

I commit myself to stand as self-awareness that I am able to push myself in my resistances in each moment without mind projections of success/fail/win/loss.

I commit myself to realize my full potential through pushing my resistances, as my resistances show me the way to realizing myself and aligning myself with the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to become a living example of what is best for all through pushing my resistances and transcending the limitation of beliefs and thought projections which only exist and function within the energy based system of my mind.

I commit myself to changing myself and in so changing my world as me step by step until all is Equal and life can be born for real.

7yr Journey to Life - Day 13 - Interlock Step and Walkway

Today I was working on covering an existing step and walkway with some new patio stones.  My fingers were constantly wet, so they became very wrinkled.  I joked to myself how old they looked "I am old Gandalf..." lol.  It occurred to me that I was drowning the cells in my fingers and they were telling me they had had enough.  My gloves as well were worn out.  But I could not stop working.  I had a job to do - and the man I was doing the job for wanted it done asap.  So I really had no choice.

Then the man began mentioning the price of the saw rental and how that if I got done sooner, he would be able to return it and save money.  So I reacted in unawares by getting a bit stressed over the fact that I now had to work more hours today and then get up very early tomorrow to finish the cutting as soon as I could so he could save money.   I began making dangerous cuts on small pieces of stone and having anxiety - This is typically how frustration system would be triggered, but I did not allow myself to get frustrated.

It began to rain and thunder and lightning.  I went to my truck for a break till it passed.  I realized what was happening in the truck and did self-forgiveness for participating in anxiety based on the man's fear of losing money.  After a short break, I continued working in the rain trying to get as much done as possible.  The saw was soaking wet and I got 3 small electric shocks from the saw, so I cleaned up the site a bit and finished for the day. 

Point here being that I am subject to to fight for as much money as I can get to survive in this system.  To the extent that I have to continue working even though my body does not want to work anymore.  We have disregarded life as our bodies in order to 'be better' and 'look superior'.  We have chosen the idea that we can just force our physical bodies to do our bidding despite what our bodies can handle, thus we push them to extremes.  Its no wonder why we live very short lives and die.

My fingers are still wrinkled so I put some vitamin E on my hands and they feel a bit better - Vitamin E is very good for healing skin by the way. 

In an Equal Money system, we could all work at a pace where we don't have to overwork our bodies because we would realize that we have to treat our bodies with care and respect, as Equal to who we are.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in stress and anxiety in compromising myself in unawares when the man mentioned that he wanted to save money.  I realize I was trying to be a 'nice guy' and a 'good worker' by sympathizing with his wishes and fears rather than standing as Equal to who I am as my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sympathize with others and trying to solve their problems for them through sacrificing my own self-honesty in an attempt to be a 'nice guy' and a 'good guy' and a 'savior'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and save other people because I want to appear as 'mr responsible' for others meanwhile not realizing I am compromising myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the point of transcendence because I was unaware in the moment, because I am giving people more respect than they deserve as we are all Equals.