Day 187 - Forgiving Myself

   

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the negative energy charge coming from the fear of not being able to compete with larger companies.  I realize this limitation I have imposed on myself through my mind is assisting me to change and realize what I am doing to myself through self-imposed limitations, therefore in examining this point I can see that once I drop the limited belief, I open up much more opportunity for myself to investigate other areas where I can expand myself and direct myself.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being overloaded with too much strenuous work.  I realize that this self imposed fear is leeching the enjoyment out of me!  As well, it is showing me that I have not trusted myself to be able to be here as breath, as when I am here as breath, I am acutely aware of my physical body's requirements and so am easily able to tell when my body is becoming over exhausted so that I can slow myself down – as opposed to racing against myself in submission to this fear system.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain a negative outlook based on past patterns.  I realize that this point is assisting me to change in that I must learn to forgive myself of the past and trust myself to stand here self-directed in each moment.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain a negative outlook based on 'hopeless/inescapable situation' mentality within a paranoid delusional mind-created character.  I realize that this point is assisting me to see that - allowing myself to be controlled by fear only creates self-torment, dis-functionality, stagnation and suppression of myself.  This as well as showing me that I am fully able to see the starting point and stand up to fully stop the cycle within myself, thus freeing myself from fearful mind projections.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through the feeling of being trapped in my situation/consequence.  I realize that the starting point of this fear is a thought projection from my past experiences where I have not forgiven myself, and so I have accepted and allowed myself to go into feelings of guilt.  In attempt to alleviate the consequential guilt, I accepted and allowed myself to revert to 'the easy way' or 'the path that was already chosen/created' for me within my mind as pre-programmed methods of self-punishment.  I have realized a better/the best way for myself, where self-punishment is not necessary, but rather taking responsibility to be here within and as myself in self-honesty, identifying the pattern and it's play out/consequence, forgiving myself, trusting myself, and simply walking/creating the correction.

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     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself based on the belief that I am unable to move and expand myself due to financial constraints.  I realize that this point is showing me – firstly, a fear of loss, as the fear of losing money - secondly, I am not yet trusting myself and - thirdly, I am still being controlled by fear of making mistakes as well as me being in fear of 'being punished' by myself or others for making mistakes.

Backchat dimension
“I'm in trouble” - as the phrase was commonly used when I was a child, meaning that my parents would be upset with me and I would face some form of mental/physical abuse in the form of a punishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by fear of loss, specifically of money.  I realize that this point is showing me that I have placed my trust in money as opposed to trusting myself... wups.  OK so I no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of loss as the fear of losing money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of being punished – triggered by the phrase “I'm in trouble”.  I realize that I can direct myself without punishing myself.  I also realize that if I am to be punished by an outside source which I am unable to direct or control, then it is a consequence that I have created for myself in the past which I must face to see what I have created through my acceptances and allowances, this to show me that I must stop the cycles and patterns of abuse within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes.  I realize that mistakes are showing me that the physical reality is not subject to my beliefs and expectations and that forgiveness is an essential component of Life.

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     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself resulting in a lack of personal enjoyment/fulfillment, and consequentially resulting in lack of self-motivation.  I realize that this point is showing me that suppressing myself through chasing after selfish desires is not the answer, but rather a cycle of self-delusion.  In order to transcend/break this cycle I must create for myself a way where I can enjoy sharing myself in self-honesty and assisting and supporting others to realization of the amazing awesomeness of Equality.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create internal conflict within myself as the realization of my actual potential vs system misgivings, education requirements and inflexibility.  I realize these points are showing me how many limitations I have imposed on myself through subjecting myself to negative self-image as system beliefs.  Each of these self-imposed limitations is a road map, and an opportunity for me to realize and transcend each of these false limitations through directly facing and challenging each one in order to disprove their authenticity and take authority for myself as me standing for Life.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the belief in my mind that I can temporarily sustain myself on the baseline income enough to get by.  I realize that this belief is a cover-up, showing me that I am still being controlled by, and 'living' in fear of myself.  Being controlled by fear is not living at all, it is enslavement.  Therefore I commit myself to stop being controlled by fear in any way shape or form, so that I can stop the delusion within myself and create myself as Life, as Equality.

     I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the belief that I see no opportunity for expansion, and therefore can postpone responsibilities until an opportunity presents itself.  I realize that this point is showing me that I must create the opportunity for myself and not wait, as waiting is hoping, and hoping is not taking action.  This point again relates to fear of taking responsibility, where I have not yet fully re-defined taking responsibility for myself, as in my mind it is still related to 'being blamed' and 'having a crappy job to do'.  Therefore here...

Within the context of doing what is necessary to be done to stand for Life as Equality...

Responsibility = CREATING HEAVEN ON EARTH

Day 83 - Limitation

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that limitation only exists because we have all individually and collectively allowed it to exist, as the system of the mind of judgments, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, control and power.  All because we fear ourselves, and feed an illusion of limitation by way of self-denial and self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the limitations of my mind, where I only consider myself in self-interest and fear, as the boundaries of what I have been taught, programmed and punished to believe.  I realize that I am responsible for accepting and allowing myself to believe the limitations of the system, despite the programming that took place, because I have contributed in creating the current abusive system in past lives that I do not remember.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to such an extent that I have diminished myself to a point where I do not even realize how much I have diminished myself and what I have actually sacrificed - as myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for my limitations within arguing and defending my limited point of view as my opinion, in ignorance and denial of myself as who I actually am as Equal to all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to such an extent that I actually believe that bullying, punishment, suppression, oppression and existing within the starting point of fear is OK with me - in my personal opinion.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only reason limitation exists is because I have created it through my irresponsibility to myself as Life. I realize that this occurs through me accepting and allowing a system of inequality to rule over me, and dictate how I should act, how I should express myself, what I should say, how I should say it, what I should wear, where I can or cannot go, and what I should be like - all promoted as freedom, when in fact it is absolute enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am contributing to my own limitations through thinking that I am happy enough, and everything is going to be alright in the end.  I realize that this is the deception, and that me accepting and allowing myself to follow the deception as a sheep - I have become the deceiver of myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the fact that my existence as all is far worse than I can comprehend through my limited senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing.  In that I realize that it is my responsibility to understand the deception that is going on beyond the borders of my senses, because if I do nothing, and just let it slide, inevitable destructive and horrific consequences will be faced by all, including myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that denying responsibility creates serious consequences of abuse of Life and self-diminishment, and if I continue to deny responsibility to Life as all as myself, I will suddenly be subject to consequences and instantly become powerless to change or correct myself for the life I lived in ignorance and spite.

I commit myself to consider that which is beyond the limited ideas of what I have been taught to believe.  In so I commit myself to realize that if I stand with the group that supports Life as Equality, limitation of the mind will diminish in time, and what will be left is unconditional self-expression, as me expressing, giving and sharing myself with all in self-honesty - rather than living a lie.

I commit myself to face my fears so that I do not accept and allow fear to rule my existence.

I commit myself to stop blaming others and relying on others to take responsibility for me

I commit myself to rather than fight for my limited and borrowed opinions and perspectives, trust myself to understand how I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself through following the opinions of others.

I commit myself to - within common sense - push myself beyond the limitations of what I have been taught to believe I am, and so face my fear of myself so that I can get to know who I really am for real as a physical being Equal to all.

I commit myself to take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist in my world and reality, and in so, look into myself in self-honesty so I can change myself and align myself with the Life honoring principle of that which is Best for All.

I commit myself to supporting the only solution to the current abusive money system - which is Equal Money for All.

I commit myself to undertake the Journey to Life in blogging and sharing myself and my self-realizations so that all will be supported in giving ourselves to life through self-forgiveness.


Artwork by :

Sebastian Eriksson

7yr Journey to Life - Day 34 - Pushing Resistances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself my best in every moment.  In this, I realize that at times I just want to give in to resistances if I feel tired or unmotivated - yet what I  realize is that I have been limiting myself extensively within the belief/thought that "I will not be able to push through this resistance".  Within this, I am 'keeping score' on myself within my mind as a success/fail 'valuation' where I project myself as 'having already lost' so that I may allow myself to instantly 'give in' and experience the comfort of the temporary stress release that - the mind game is temporarily over.

What I also realize in this is that, in moments where I feel resistance such as tiredness, drudgery, fear of loss, or anxiety etc. - I can stop the 'success/fail/0-1' scoring method, and instead PUSH myself within a resistance without anticipating the outcome beforehand.  If I push through completely, great - if eventually (for example with tiredness) I rest - so be it - but I do not instantly give in, but rather push myself within the resistance as best I can in each moment.  In this, I am able to transform myself and stop the 'mind game' of winning/losing within myself - and thus stop the judgement and guilt that is associated with it, because I am actively pushing my resistances to stop being enslaved to the mind system.

What often happens when I face a resistance is that, a thought/belief will emerge such as 'if I push this resistance now, it will not go away, and I will have to push it ALL DAY LONG '.  Thus the negative feeling comes up and I do not even want to push the resistance at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately because I accept and allow thoughts of 'I will not be able to push through this resistance' which limits me and tricks me into immediately give in to resistances without pushing myself at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to resistances immediately without pushing myself because I have placed a score/value as a win/loss or success/fail within my mind of how the outcome will be of me pushing my resistances, thus allowing myself to fall victim to judgement and guilt of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the idea that I will have to face this resistance all day long, rather than bringing myself here as breath and taking the point step by step.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my full potential by not pushing my resistances thus allowing myself to give in and diminish myself within limitations of the mind/ego/beliefs.

I commit myself to stand as self-awareness that I am able to push myself in my resistances in each moment without mind projections of success/fail/win/loss.

I commit myself to realize my full potential through pushing my resistances, as my resistances show me the way to realizing myself and aligning myself with the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to become a living example of what is best for all through pushing my resistances and transcending the limitation of beliefs and thought projections which only exist and function within the energy based system of my mind.

I commit myself to changing myself and in so changing my world as me step by step until all is Equal and life can be born for real.