Day 190 - Using the Mind as a Tool

Consciousness, or the mind, is what we have created through our separation and the 'little misunderstanding' of who we are. So consciousness is what must be used to correct ourselves... not in how we have traditionally used it - to wish for things in self-interest or make believe we are better than one another - but rather to change ourselves to support the realization of Equality, within and without.

Not long ago, I would say to myself that I would not touch the law of attraction with a ten foot pole. Within this, I was aware that I did not fully understand – within the context of my own process and systems - how the mind was controlling me, and so I was hesitant of using/abusing the mind too extensively through inconsideration and/or not doing it 'properly'. I assumed I would be creating a form of consequential hell for myself because I had not yet fully dealt with all of my priority issues. 

Even though I understood a great deal, it became apparent through my inability to direct every breath, that there was likely things which I did not fully understand yet, or perhaps only understood as knowledge and information. I chose to focus too heavily on stopping my mind, and so was not using my mind as a tool, as effectively as I could have been.

I was well aware of the fact that consciousness could be, and was being used by many people as a means of achieving money and success, and I defined that as irresponsible – which it is when used only in self-interest. Little did I recognize how I too was already using it – in allowing thoughts of limitation, thus diminishing myself. therefore I did not trust myself, and so projected this distrust onto the physical. I created a relationship to the words 'law of attraction' giving the phrase as negative energetic charge, and so within that I was partially blaming the mind as evil. Interestingly, I have noticed that the mind often makes out the physical to be the cause of dysfunction through backchat.

Meanwhile, I believed I was doing something 'good' because I was in the process of stopping my mind, and so created a polarized dissonance within myself through allowing a series of self-sabotaging beliefs and justifications, as the 'bad'. I felt guilty, and awful about myself because I knew I was not 'in control', I was still controlled by addictions, not realizing exactly how I was creating the cycles of self-abuse. This was compounded by the fact that I feared giving up my addictions.

Since then, I have grown more confident in my understanding of how the entire system works, I can trust myself more to use the mind as a tool in order to support myself to change and align myself to live the solution – as what is best for all. To give an example. It is necessary for me to get organized so that I can become more efficient and so expand myself. So when I see myself entertaining limited beliefs and thus straying into idleness of my mind, I can recognize the pattern and support myself to change it through changing the negative thought patterns into creative, self-directive, positive commitments and actions which have no negative polarity or connotation for myself or others.

7yr Journey to Life Day 41 - Aligning the Compass

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as definitions of being less than, whereby I limit myself and punish myself in not embracing and accepting myself here, where I can change myself in each moment.  I realize I have allowed this because I have held onto the belief (of being less than the physical as me) and that I was subject/slave to systems of my mind that I have accepted and allowed in my life through self-imposed fear of myself. 

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by me embracing myself here and realizing that I am fully capable and responsible to change myself to direct myself in each moment, I am making the only logical decision to stop myself from being enslaved to a spiteful program which professes the absurdity that abuse and suffering is 'just the way it is', and such is life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget how utterly detestable this existence actually is, and in so realizing I can use this knowledge to push myself, change myself and realize myself as Equal, and stand as a physical being not influenced by the mind of the make believe world of consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pity myself or my world as I realize that each must take responsibility for self, and that I cannot help myself or anyone through pity, as this only stems from false perceptions and ideas of the mind as the desire to be a savior and/or to fuel a belief that I am in some way good in the polarity game of good/evil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future.  I realize that my responsibility lies here in each moment as breath, and therefore future consequences only play out as a result of me not taking responsibility here in each moment.  I realize I am limited in my ability to change already existent consequences in my world, yet that does not excuse me from taking responsibility to do what I am able here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate on getting things done because I fear making decisions.  I realize that if I take too long in making decisions then I am making the decision to 'not make a decision' and therefore sabotaging myself through stagnation as not moving myself effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have more responsibility that what is here as what I have created for myself.  I realize that for me to have more responsibility, I must first take responsibility for what is here as me, and so become responsible to myself in my agreement with myself to become absolutely Equal in every way within and as myself in this life.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that in order to get things done that are priorities in my life, it is necessary to sacrifice that which is not necessary, and in so I must prioritize myself and discipline myself to not accept and allow myself to fall victim to consequence of lack of responsibility to prioritize things in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking risks.  I realize that everything I do entails some risk, therefore I must carefully calculate the risks I take so that all outflows are considered and in so I can make responsible decisions that are common sense and best for all.

I commit myself to embracing myself within developing self-trust as myself - this I can do through taking responsibility for myself in each moment as doing what is necessary to be done, therefore proving and establishing self-trust here as myself where self-judgement is no longer necessary, as I stand Equal to all as myself.

I commit myself share my realizations with others unconditionally - to those that will hear. Those that do not hear, I will not waste my words. 

I commit myself to stand Equal to each moment and situation that arises within my experience of myself here, and in so take responsibility through accountability and accumulation within the Equality equation 1+1=2...

I commit myself establish myself as self-trust and self-responsibility and self-honesty through walking each layer of myself back to the starting point of how it was created and thereby deconstructing the illusions and beliefs I allowed through my participation in fear and self-sabotage.