Day 190 - Using the Mind as a Tool

Consciousness, or the mind, is what we have created through our separation and the 'little misunderstanding' of who we are. So consciousness is what must be used to correct ourselves... not in how we have traditionally used it - to wish for things in self-interest or make believe we are better than one another - but rather to change ourselves to support the realization of Equality, within and without.

Not long ago, I would say to myself that I would not touch the law of attraction with a ten foot pole. Within this, I was aware that I did not fully understand – within the context of my own process and systems - how the mind was controlling me, and so I was hesitant of using/abusing the mind too extensively through inconsideration and/or not doing it 'properly'. I assumed I would be creating a form of consequential hell for myself because I had not yet fully dealt with all of my priority issues. 

Even though I understood a great deal, it became apparent through my inability to direct every breath, that there was likely things which I did not fully understand yet, or perhaps only understood as knowledge and information. I chose to focus too heavily on stopping my mind, and so was not using my mind as a tool, as effectively as I could have been.

I was well aware of the fact that consciousness could be, and was being used by many people as a means of achieving money and success, and I defined that as irresponsible – which it is when used only in self-interest. Little did I recognize how I too was already using it – in allowing thoughts of limitation, thus diminishing myself. therefore I did not trust myself, and so projected this distrust onto the physical. I created a relationship to the words 'law of attraction' giving the phrase as negative energetic charge, and so within that I was partially blaming the mind as evil. Interestingly, I have noticed that the mind often makes out the physical to be the cause of dysfunction through backchat.

Meanwhile, I believed I was doing something 'good' because I was in the process of stopping my mind, and so created a polarized dissonance within myself through allowing a series of self-sabotaging beliefs and justifications, as the 'bad'. I felt guilty, and awful about myself because I knew I was not 'in control', I was still controlled by addictions, not realizing exactly how I was creating the cycles of self-abuse. This was compounded by the fact that I feared giving up my addictions.

Since then, I have grown more confident in my understanding of how the entire system works, I can trust myself more to use the mind as a tool in order to support myself to change and align myself to live the solution – as what is best for all. To give an example. It is necessary for me to get organized so that I can become more efficient and so expand myself. So when I see myself entertaining limited beliefs and thus straying into idleness of my mind, I can recognize the pattern and support myself to change it through changing the negative thought patterns into creative, self-directive, positive commitments and actions which have no negative polarity or connotation for myself or others.

Day 66 - Self-management

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making the wrong decisions based on past experiences where so many times I have, within a false starting point, not fully considered the outflows of what I was actually participating in and thus made errors in judgement which created situations that did not assist me, but rather created more consequences which I had to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame parts of the system for my lack of responsibility to accomplish tasks that require direction, within this I realize that I must face points that my mind does not want me to face.  In that fear as blame, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate, and not take self-direction due to uncertainty.  Within that, I realize that the act of self-discipline is tied to the point of establishing a stable consistent self-discipline, where I can place myself within the system to interact with people as self-movement and expansion.  My current situation is proving to be ineffective as I do not have enough interaction with people, and thus not enough contacts as support.  Therefore I direct myself here in making the decision to changing and align my situation with something that will create a more stable interaction with the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to prioritize tasks and responsibilities.  I realize that if I do not prioritize, then I am subjecting myself to postponement as falling into past cycles of living in self interest, doing what I want, when I want as being directed by the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what I have written as the direction I have given to myself in my blogs.

Therefore I commit myself to write out and prioritize all the points that need direction, and to direct myself to applying myself in accomplishing those tasks - IN PRIORITY.  If a higher priority task requires direction - I do not allow myself to move to the next priority until it is directed effectively.  If the task is difficult for some reason, I break it down into smaller steps so that I can manage it more easily.

Within this self-management program I am going to run for myself, I will place it in a structured manner and discipline myself to update and assess it daily so that I can track my progress of achieving my goals as that which is required to be accomplished. Within this self-management program, I will commit myself to goals based on time frames of short, mid and long term goals. I will not judge myself if I do not achieve goals, however I will commit myself to consistency and diligence in my self management program in that I am constantly applying myself within it until I am able to walk it and execute it effectively.  If the point is not directed effectively, I commit myself to write out my self-management program again with more specificity in aligning myself with myself here and what is required for me to become effective, and stop wasting time.

Within this self-management program, I commit myself to train myself in making decisions immediately, in one breath, and in so develop self trust within supporting myself in my daily participation, in taking responsibility for myself and my world, so that I will no longer be a slave to consequence due to irresponsibility to face each and every point.