Sunday, 24 June 2012
Williams 7yr Journey to Life - Day 57
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of dullness. I realize that dullness is of the mind/ego where my mind is attempting to dictate a mood and feeling as an experience of self-suppression. When and as I see myself within the dullness frame of mind/limitation of mind, I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself in and as my physical body to do what is necessary to be done to take responsibility for myself and all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear directing myself as physical movement because my mind tells me that it will cost me energy. At the same time my mind wants to consume energy for itself rather than me giving my energy to life as what is best for all, because when I do that, the mind cannot feed off of my physical body and so the mind will starve and cease to exist within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist directing myself for fear that I will be exhausted. To exhaust myself in changing myself to become Equal to the physical is actually the great opportunity I am dedicated to giving myself so that I can honor all life with my existence rather than consume the physical through energy which depletes the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in each moment that to desire experiences such as happiness, comfort, peace, love, joy or any feeling or emotion good or bad - only for myself - is separation and deception. I realize that all selfish desires are fleeting, and not real if they cannot be shared Equally among ALL that exist. That is why we must start over, from nothingness, so that all may be shared Equally by all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the tremendous gift of opportunity as the portal-to-unity as a chance to change myself and to realize myself here within self-honesty and self-responsibility in this lifetime. I am grateful for this magnificent opportunity and in so commit myself to assist in birthing life as Equality and Oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'puffed up' with knowledge and information as 'hot air' floating into the mind as consciousness, spiteful and ignorant of what is right under, in, and as my nose. My nose knows the duality/polarity of consciousness, and at the same time it is the key, the primary point where breath physically enters my body, therefore my nose is aware if I am directing my breath or not... and if not, then what is? If not, where am I? Do I exist? Where and how can I exist if I do not direct the breath?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself through knowledge and information, rather than directing myself as Equal to all that is here as me. I realize that if I use knowledge and information to make myself 'appear intelligent' or 'better than' others I am only boosting the false image of myself in my mind. In this I realize I must slow myself down when interacting with others so I can assist myself to be aware of any fears that may arise, so I can clear myself without jumping on the first thought that comes to mind. In this I discipline myself with patience, to take responsibility to direct my words as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear appearing foolish to others because I may stumble with my corrective application as I learn how to direct myself - as a baby learning to walk for the first time. Within this I realize that the fear of appearing foolish is actually an opportunity to enjoy the inevitable comedy of the moment.
I commit myself to continue to write out points that I have not fully integrated into and as myself until I get it and I am stable in living the application of my words.
I commit myself to push myself to take responsibility for myself in fully executing self-correction.
I commit myself to be aware of the fear of appearing foolish, where this may allow me to discover points where I have previously hidden issues from myself.
I commit myself to use this opportunity to change myself and my world so that all life can be supported physically and practically in Equality, such as would happen if we all supported an Equal Money System.