Friday, 1 June 2012
7yr Journey to Life - Day 35 - Unplugging
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions of regret for having lived my life in ignorance and self-subjugation where I squandered my time, energy and effort in the hope of being saved by someone and finding love in another being/god that only existed as the image I had been programmed to believe and thus projected in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences for myself wherein I had to face regret as an outflow of my life experience, where I denied myself and my world because I was afraid of facing myself, of trusting myself, and of directing myself in my experience of myself. In so, I attempted to escape myself through the use of computer games, where I could hide from myself and experience the thrill of a virtual life of my dreams, rather than face what was actually happening in my world as the physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I was too small, 'not good enough', not eloquent enough, not sharp enough, not smart enough, not wise enough to face myself and my world head on in dealing with the deliberate abuse that was happening to me and my world. In that I realize that I am here as a physical being JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, and as a physical being I am accountable to myself and my whole world and reality, to expose spiteful behavior and abuse of life, wherever and whenever I observe it. I realize that I must prepare myself to take on the task, addressing myself first as the primary point of self-responsibility, and from that point I can expand myself within walking as a group with Desteni and the Desteni I Process course - which is the ONLY REAL SUPPORT FOR ALL LIFE OFFERED IN THIS WORLD.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself and sharing myself out of fear of what value others will put on me. I realize that this fear is only me fearing myself and that that fear must be faced and transcended so that I can free myself from the constriction of fear and learn to expand myself in self-honesty through self-forgiveness and self-correction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to the fear-of-loss, in fearing what I will have to give up if I apply myself in self-honesty, in being honest with myself, sharing myself, and how I feel about the world and my reality. I realize that nothing of/in this world is worth giving up my self-honesty to myself, and that if I do not move myself, I will be allowing fear to take over and diminish me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my physical energy, support, time and effort to those who are so completely consumed by the ego that they do not consider anyone beyond the borders of their imaginary world of self-interest. I realize that there is no point in lecturing to those who will only react in obstinate resistance, in spite of all the FREE support that is being offered by Desteni and those with the courage to walk the 7 year journey to Life.
I commit myself to face my fears of sharing who I am so that I can find out how I created myself and thus how I can change myself to stop awful consequences from happening in my life in the future.
I commit myself to face myself in self-honesty by using the breath as a tool so that I can take each point, breath by breath so as to deal with each point in a manageable way, being patient and gentle with myself so that I can walk myself slowly back to nothingness, to start over in creating myself as all as equal as the physical.
I commit myself to see the common sense in what is happening in our world and so realize that the only solution to such terrible abuse of life is to absolutely stand within and as the principle of what is best for all - as absolute Equality for all.
I commit myself to realize this profound opportunity I have in this life, and take advantage of it while I am able - an not squander - because I realize that this is my only opportunity to support and become life. If I do not do it now... when?