Sunday, 10 June 2012

Day 44 - Walking Unaware

I reacted to a situation today while working.  I had bought a cable that turned out to be too short so I was not able to complete the task and in realizing this, my programmed mind kicked in and directed me to say "Jesus Christ" in frustration.  I realize that by me allowing this simple point of frustration within me, I compromised myself in the mind-fear projection that I would have to go back to the store 1/2 an hour drive and get a new cable.  The customer was also standing beside me when I said this.

Later on that day, she found a suitable chain that would enable me to do the job without needing another cable.  Additionally, I did not even have time to get the job done, as I was busy working on other projects on the site.  This goes to show how my projection was not based in reality at all, but rash, unnecessary, and completely false based on my fear of having to spend the time and money to get a new cable.   This fear also came from past experiences where I have lost time and money due to situations where unanticipated circumstances arose - as they always do to test our self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in frustration to a situation based on my past experiences where I have lost money in the past.  I realize that this fear of 'not making money' is based on my programmed personality system which I am responsible to stop and change as changing myself to no longer accept and allow myself to be directed and controlled by fear and/or frustration of any kind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subject to frustration by not being aware of myself - as breath - in each moment.  As if I had fallen asleep - sleep walking, I allowed a system of frustration to infiltrate my physical body and mind-control me into doing something that I did not wish to do.  I realize that frustration is a form of demonic possession that is my responsibility to stop and not allow such situations to have an opportunity to occur in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and others through not immediately recognizing and taking responsibility to correct my actions through speaking self-forgiveness as a self-correction in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and hide from myself the fact that I had allowed myself to be controlled by a programmed energy frustration system.  When and as I see such situations occur within my walking process, I stop myself and recognize the pattern playing out in myself and correct myself so that I do not incur further consequence for myself and others through dishonesty as hiding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that what I allow within me as thought projections has consequences - regardless of my situation - I am responsible to stop any and all system mind manifestations from taking control and directing me and my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unprepared in a moment to face myself in self-honesty where I allowed myself to 'sleep walk' and so fall prey to a system energy demon of frustration so that I could see what I was allowing within myself.

I commit myself to stand aware at all times and be prepared to face myself in self-honesty so that I am ready to immediately place the correction when i recognize any movement within myself that is not self-directed.

I commit myself to catch myself at times when I am not in my breath and not directing myself moment to moment.

I commit myself to slow myself down whenever I see that I am susceptible to situations where I am not aware of myself as directing every action and outflow as to take responsibility for everything I do in absolute self-honesty

I commit myself to realize the absolute necessity of directing myself in every moment so that I do not miss myself and thus miss my opportunity to transcend and change the bullshit programming of what I have created myself as in this world.

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