Wednesday, 6 June 2012
7yr Journey to Life - Day 39 - Savior Syndrome
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the Savior in my life where I have attempted to save people, plants, animals and physical objects from the starting point of trying to be a good person. I realize that this is not being honest with myself because I am attempting to play a hero in my mind when the real issue of what is necessary to be done is neglected, rendering me in-effective in the grand scale.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and save things in my life from the starting point of 'fear of death/fear of loss. I realize that in this I am attempting to escape the consequences I have created for myself by playing the 'good person' role, in the hopes that someone will notice and promote me to a position of power. I realize this is self-sabotage and irresponsibility to myself because I am not directing myself in the best and most effective way that I am able, and so I end up placing my trust outside of myself which is self-deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and save myself through saving up money as my savings account. I realize what I am doing is hoarding and robbing myself in fear of the inevitability of facing the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as my world and reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to save myself from facing conflict within my world and reality, attempting to avoid responsibility in fear of creating negative consequences for myself. . In this I realize that I am creating further consequence through allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fear instead of me directing myself here in what is necessary to be done from the starting point of what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am doing good by giving to charities and organizations that promote good, when in fact those organizations only perpetuate and prolong cycles of enslavement through the polarizing of good and bad people, ideas and beliefs which do not serve life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to the brink of annihilation through trying to save myself through deliberate self-deception of what I was doing all along - as promoting my own good feelings and self-interest above what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of myself - thereby sabotaging myself - through doing good deeds from the starting point of leveraging my reputation for fame, personal glorification and monetary rewards.
I commit myself to expose all Savior syndrome constructs within myself and others so that all may be aligned in the best interest of all and not individuals.
I commit myself to change myself to be the directive principle of my life as opposed to allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fears
I commit myself to use myself and what is here in the best and most effective way possible that would serve the interest of stopping abuse in my world and so change my world to align with the principle of that which is best for all.
I commit myself to expose all 'good deeds' such as charitable organizations for what they really are - as irresponsible and greed driven in that they only perpetuate abuse through dishonest practices and derailing self-responsibility and self-accountability.