Thursday, 22 November 2012
Day 113 – Dream – Condemned
I was standing outside in a parking area with trees, it was winter, and very cold. There was a young man there, emphatically accusing me of some violation that he claimed I did. I tried to speak to defend myself, but it was no use – no matter what I said, I knew there was absolutely nothing that I could say that would make the man consider, never mind convince him of my innocence. His facial expression became very tense and defiant. With closed eyes he continued raising his voice louder, yelling at me in condemnation.
The next scene was of a man in his 50’s. He had a moustache and very stern face. I could tell he was a very ‘cold’ person, and very set in his ways. He did not even look at me directly, nor did he yell. He acted as if I did not exist, having the very same condemnation as the younger man. I said nothing. Just looking at him I could tell that In his mind I was guilty, and there was absolutely nothing that I could say that would change that, I was labelled… dead in the water, and he was going to make sure that I suffered for it.
I returned to the scene with the younger man, as he continued to yell, a crowd formed behind him, everyone yelling in condemnation. I felt completely helpless.
I see this dream as the nature of the system that we have created. The consequence for what we have accepted and allowed through our ignorance and self-dishonesty. It may have started with just a snowflake of self-dishonesty, but all the same, quietly and gently it has gathered itself and grown to become this massive consequence that is here. The men were so resolute, showing me that the price has to be paid - until it is paid in full. Self-forgiveness in no way lets us off the hook. We must change, face the consequences, and walk through them as living proof that we have changed, so that we never again allow such horrible consequences to play out, ever. Self-forgiveness is the key to the door, but we have to open it and walk through it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn myself, not realizing what I am doing to myself in ignorance and denial of myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a system that is absolutely negligent, and cruel beyond comprehension because it does not see itself for what it is, or realize the possibility of forgiveness and change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others in the past, where I have in ignorance and selfishness, pleaded my self-righteous judgments over that which is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that punishment and revenge is something ‘good’ will help us change or improve the quality of life on this planet. I realize that punishment, judgement and condemnation do nothing to solve the problems we all face, but they actually bring us all more guilt, shame and suffering.
I commit myself to assist myself and others to realize that we can change ourselves through self-forgiveness and seeing, realizing and understanding that we can live as equals without any horrible consequences that need to be paid in the future.
I commit myself to assist myself and others in the realization that Equality is the only way in which we are able to stand together within one principle that supports all life Equally, without the need of punishment, revenge, judgement or condemnation.
I commit myself to working with the one group that stands for the Solution to Life, as changing ourselves to free ourselves from this hell of enslavement to ideas as energy addictions which only serve to punish ourselves in our own greed and self-interest.