Day 119 – Aversion and Procrastination

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid my responsibilities in the belief that I have lots of time and I can do things later, in seeking to avoid the real issue. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my responsibility to myself and others within the belief that ‘I don’t know what to do’.  When and as I see myself saying to myself ‘I don’t know’, I clear my starting point to here within breath, and take some time to write myself out so I can see the root of the problem and work it out through self-forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to avoid negative experiences of sitting down to do work on the computer, in the belief that there is enough time for me to do it later, and so allowing myself to drift into passive positive energy experience of playing games etc when I have work to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want to do enough so that I can get by, where I only do the minimum, not pushing myself to do all that I am able, in the belief that I am content with just getting by, in the belief that ‘I’m not greedy’ and ‘I’m not motivated by fear’ – Meanwhile, these are excuses which have allowed my to avoid the actual point being - I’m not just working for myself, I have a responsibility to others . 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the negative energy charge/emotion of issues that I perceive to be difficult/undesirable – because within my personality design I resent being forced to do work that I don’t want to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want to escape the stress of the situation through avoiding the problem altogether, in fear that my work/efforts/planning will not be considered as ‘good enough’. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do something that will compromise myself, and then go into a reaction of anger because I will have found myself in another situation that I did not foresee.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being able to foresee every eventuality and outcome of a situation and therefore seek to avoid situations in fear that ‘I did something wrong’ because I did not see every outcome that would happen in the future.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making the wrong decision or making a mistake in self-judgement, thus seeking to avoid a situation where I fear that I would judge myself and/or become angry with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not getting a job/contract.  As long as I continue to move myself in self-honesty, I will always have work to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of others, when they want work done right away, thus allowing myself to embody that stress within my own expression, thinking that it is my responsibility to ‘be stressed’ because the customer is stressed.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how this system of fear plays out, and stop myself within bringing myself here within breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not working hard enough, when the situations are stemming from a series of issues/beliefs/ideas which are not aligned with living what is best for all.  In this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write the issues out for myself when I find that I am in aversion to facing an issue.

 

I commit myself to align myself with Equality as what is best for all.

 

I commit myself to re-define enjoyment as taking responsibility, not only for myself but for others.

 

I commit myself to push through resistances and procrastination to stop fearing myself, and realizing that self-writing is never a waste of time.

 

I commit myself to will myself to power through resistances despite my perceptions of desiring to avoid negative energy experiences.    I realize negative energy experiences are an opportunity for me to transcend my design and change myself

 

I commit myself to stop my mind projecting situations that I believe (based on my past) will be negative experiences.

 

I commit myself to writing myself out as soon as I see that I am avoiding myself

 

I commit myself to realize that rooting out the source of the problem through writing is the key to clearing my starting point so that I can enjoy taking responsibility for myself and others.

 

I commit myself to realize how much better I will feel about myself when I take responsibility and change myself to align myself with what is best for all in each moment.