Day 69 - The Rebel

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe the obvious deception in the world, and judge it as 'evil', in an attempt to separate myself from the world system, and in so define myself as a rebel, and 'good' as its opposite polarity, secretly thinking that I am better than the system, because I saw the inherent lies and abuse.   In seeing the system as evil in separation from myself, I decided that the best way to beat the system and stop the abuse, was for me to become a rebel and fight against it, as my personal war with the system, as a spiteful rebel against the system.  In so I claimed victory within myself in my mind, having beaten the system through not allowing it to enslave me to its ideas.  What I did not realize is that, I myself, created the system through my acceptances and allowances throughout my life and many past lives.  And so my mind-victory was in vain, as it did nothing to change the system to which I am still subject and enslaved to within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to observe the deception in the world, and judge it as 'good', in an attempt to separate myself from the world system, and in so define myself as a rebel, and 'evil' as its opposite polarity, secretly thinking that I am better than the system, because I was able to face a point of fear which others were unable to face - as the fear of defining myself as evil.  In so doing, I further perpetuated the polarity war of good vs evil, which only fueled the system I was rebelling against in my character definition of myself, and thus I actually created a war within myself in spite of myself as the system I created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly define myself as a brave and rebellious, hero character in my mind - as a positive energy experience of myself - through self-righteous judgement of the system as being evil - as a negative energy experience - without realizing that I was being irresponsible to myself as my world and reality, as, in order to address, solve and change the system, I have to stand within it and as it.  Therefore becoming the rebel character did nothing to support the actual solution to change the system as what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the actuality of myself here as a physical being.  Through my constant attempts to validate my brave, rebellious hero-character of the mind/ego, I realize that I portrayed my character as openly defiant, in thinking I was doing good by calling out perceived injustices in the system.  Yet I did not allow myself to realize, that abstaining from participating in system based functions such as the education system only put me deeper in debt to myself and life.  I realize that this abstinence, as me attempting to escape the system, in no way assisted and supported stopping the abuse of the system, but merely allowed it to persist as, hierarchical, mind-control and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate the hero character of my mind through granting him mental attributes of other hero's extracted from my memories of movies and books.  In that, I realize that the hero's in my mind were not real, but glorified, positively charged ideas I had created about what it must be like to be a real hero so that I can get glory for myself, in my war against myself, not realizing I was actually sacrificing myself as life, and the consequences of being enslaved to consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to validate my character through deliberately defining myself as 'crazy' so that I could strengthen the false perception of fearlessness as an attribute of my rebel character, and so design my character as 'free' in opposition to all the injustice represented in the system.  What I did not realize, is that in defining myself, as my  character, as 'crazy', I was enslaving myself even further, because my character was never free in any way, as it was completely make-believe within a false perception of myself as separate within my mind. In addition to that, I was clearly still dependent on the system for my survival, thus making my claim of being free based on my limited idea of myself - as a character in my mind - utterly foolish and altogether ridiculous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use activism for causes as a means whereby I can further separate myself and define my multiple characters in opposition to the system.  I realize that these attempts to judge the system is me judging myself, to which the outflow is more abuse, more war, more suffering and more deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that my perception of myself as my character, as being a brave rebel, was actually a cover for the fear I had of the system, as being too hard to understand and too powerful to stop or change.   I realize that this was a false perception that I accepted through not understanding myself as part of the system.  When I realize who I am as an equal, I can take responsibility to first understand myself, and in doing so, I can understand how the system functions and in so change myself to put myself in a position with a group that supports life, where my contribution actually supports the solution - as Equal Money for All - through a group effort, which is the only way the system can change.

I commit myself to a process of birthing myself as life in the physical, which will stop the mind system within me, which will stop supporting the polarity war of good vs evil within me, so that I can begin to understand who I am as a physical being to understand and live what it means to stand for life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand as who I am as my physical body, as taking responsibility as an Equal, and in so doing stop the characterization of myself which only deludes me further into the mind as the polarity war with myself and the system, resulting in all the raging wars in our world and reality.

I commit myself to realize who I am here through understanding my physical body, and myself within breath, so that I no longer participate in mental judgements of myself, of the system, or of others.  In so doing, I can get myself to a point of clarity, where I can actually assist and support making real, physical change within my world and reality

I commit myself to realize that in order for me to be effective and change myself and the system to that which supports life, I must stand with the group that supports life as what is best for all.  And in so doing, I can contribute my efforts which will have exponential impact through collectively assisting and supporting each other to change our world and create heaven on earth.

I commit myself to face and embrace myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, so that I may face the hidden fears and false characters I have created through cycles of the past, to no longer accept and allow any abuse of life within myself.  In that way, by accumulation factor and the equality equation of 1+1=2, we can eventually change the world system as a whole to that which supports life as what is best for all in all ways.