Sunday, 8 July 2012

Day 70 - Re-writing the sugar point

Directing myself here in the moment as breath as me.  No preparation.  I am here.  This is the point to walk as myself.  All points that do not align with me standing as Equality reveal themselves, and if I am here, the point to direct will be here, to be directed and aligned with Equality in the moment, breath by breath I walk me out of consequence and into life.  Here I write the words to be lived and put into action.  Here is where I honor my commitment to myself to stand and become life.  All or nothing.  Words are easy to say, but to live all my words requires self-discipline.  There is still some resistances I have to push within my application.  I just yawned 3 times and put both hands on my face.  Just yawned again.  Facing myself as the mind wanting me to stop and rest and my mind not wanting me to write, as then my secrets are exposed.  I direct myself here to write myself, I will not accept and allow myself to be directed and controlled by tiredness.

The sugar point came up today, I am still allowing myself to eat too much sugar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the desire for sugar and so fall prey to the addiction which is harmful to my physical body.  When and as I see myself desiring sugar, I stop and clear my starting point.  I direct myself to support my body and stop harming myself through consumption of harmful products that taste good yet do not support my physical body.  I realize that this sugar point is self-abuse as I am aware of the consequences of too much sugar.  Therefore I stop myself here. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify to myself why I need sugar/chocolate.  I realize that justifications are not me directing myself here as breath, but thoughts that my mind uses to control me and divert my attention away from myself so I do not stand and be self-honest within the point of considering my whole body and what it requires to eat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel down on myself if I do not eat something sweet after a meal.  I realize that this is a point which comes from a memory of when I was at a friends house, in the kitchen when I overheard his mother saying 'I am going to die if I do not have something sweet to eat' which was after dinner.  Thus I associated the point of 'desiring to have something sweet after dinner' as the idea that 'this will give me pleasure'.  This is not the case whatsoever, because my body goes into reaction when I eat sugar, thus my body does not need or require sweet things to eat after dinner, rather this is harmful for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping sugar.  I realize that this fear is not who I am, as it is within the idea that I cannot stop myself based on past experiences where I found stopping sugar to be 'difficult'.  I realize that it is not difficult, I create the idea that it is difficult through my fear that I cannot stop.  Sugar is not best for all of my body, therefore I do not support this relationship I have formed with sugar.

I commit myself to face the sugar point within myself.  When and as I see the desire for sugar, I stop and clear my starting point within breath, I state myself as 'here'.  I take authority to direct myself within my decision to honor my agreement with myself as my physical body to stop the addiction to sugar.  Sugar is a fleeting experience as taste that I must face and deal with before the consequence forces me to the point where I have no other choice but to stop.

I commit myself to when and as I see my mind try and justify itself in directing me to have sweets, I stop and clear my starting point to here.  I direct myself in the moment of breath to consider and do what is best for all of my physical body.

I commit myself to realize that I must take responsibility for my self-created addictions, and in so, eat responsibly what my body needs and to not eat as a form of escaping myself, but eat what supports my body when actually required.

I commit myself to walk the process of directing myself and facing myself in each moment within the realization of what is necessary for my body and to not compromise myself within the justification of good taste, which is in polarity to bad taste yet has no relevance to what is actually supporting me and what is harmful for me. 

I commit myself to walk this point I have realized for myself into living application of myself, proving to myself that I am able to change, to realize myself within self-honesty.  To realize what I have missed of myself through succumbing to the addiction to sugar.

Any point can be walked with self-commitment as self-support in the starting point of Equalizing myself in self-honesty

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