Day 81 - The Con of I Don't Know

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I know full well - but I refuse to take responsibility"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say the words "I don't know" in refusing to take responsibility for myself as what I create and have created through careless and inconsiderate use of the mind in fear of myself.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is  "I blame you for my irresponsibility to life"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say the words "I don't know" in attempt to blame others for my lack of responsibility to myself and all as life.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I want someone else to take responsibility for me"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say the words "I don't know" in the desire to have others take responsibility for me and what I have created accepted and allowed.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I am too weak to face my fears"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say the words "I don't know" in the belief that I am too weak to face my fears and stand for Life.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I accept my limitation"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say the words "I don't know" in acceptance of the belief that I am limited and cannot change.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I don't care about life"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" to hide from myself and make an excuse in blame that I don't care about life, when actually this is a lie because, Life does care about Life, but it has to be lived to become real.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I am not here"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in the denial of myself here.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I am afraid of who I am"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in fear of and the desire to hide from myself as who I am.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I am afraid to die"

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" as showing myself the fear of death that existed within me.   I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death as me, as I created death, therefore fear of death is fear of myself.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I will compromise Life, if you will"

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I don't understand, meanwhile I am fully aware"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in attempt to make myself believe that I do not understand, yet I am fully aware of myself here and that I am not being honest with myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in seeking to escape myself through compromise with others by way of agreement of words or contract.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "knowledge is all there is".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in the belief that knowledge is all there is, yet clearly this is not the case, as knowledge is not a requirement for Life. 

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "Go fuck yourself"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in attempt to defend my mind as the statement go fuck yourself.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I want God to take care of me like a little baby"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in desiring for a god to care for me as a little child.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I only care about myself"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in self-interest, greed and selfishness of the mind as only caring about myself as my mind and personal experience.

 When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I give up"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in the desire to escape myself as if to surrender to the mind as "I give up".  I realize this is not an option as Life does not consist of giving up, and giving up does not consist of Life.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I can't"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" as a desired escape mechanism within the belief that "I can't" as a belief system in limitation and separation from myself here.

When I say "I don't know", what I am actually saying is "I don't want to exist"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words "I don't know" in the desire to escape myself within the thought of "I don't want to exist"

When and as I see myself using the phrase "I don't know", I stop and clear my starting point within breath to here so that I may forgive myself within realization of the fact that I am repeating a pattern of the past as self-manipulation and self-sabotage.  Through realization, I give myself the opportunity to commit myself to walk the physical change, to direct myself within the given situation to state that which I do know and understand as myself - That, I must make the decision to move myself in what is necessary to be done to change myself and align myself with the principle of Equality as what is Best for All in all ways.