Day 212 - A Reflection

Looking from the other side...

As it is certain, you are going to die.

So consider for a moment,

You are now dead.



As you look back on your life,

You realize the great shame that you existed as,

The whole world is a shameful place,

So none are exempt



You played your part,

And worst of all,

You denied it all.

You denied yourself Life.



You accepted the system, the program,

You supported it, and encouraged it,

You reveled amidst the Massacre of Life

There's no point denying it now.



You gave up the Greatest Love of All,

Equality as Life,

Afraid of what people would think of you,

If you were Honest with yourself,



You traded Reality for the Illusion,

And refused the Gifts of Self Forgiveness and Change,

While the physical was always right here as You,

In every moment.



"Why did I not See!!!"  You try to scream,

But you have no voice,

You are dead.

You exist now only as a single point of reflection.



You misplaced your Trust,

You accepted the bribe in your secret mind,

You thought no one would Ever find out,

But you Knew



You valued your own Opinions,

What you thought was Right and Good,

Nothing but Lame Excuses and False Justifications...

All worthless now.



You proved that All you Really wanted,

Was Your Dreams, and Your Selfish Desires, for You,

The You who you BeLIEved yourself to be in your Imagination,

You fell for the cheapest lie.



You were too busy to care for real,

Too obsessed with yourself to give a fuck about Life

Now you realize...

It is over.



You had your chance,

To Stand Equal to Life,

But your sudden death was tragic,

And now you have no expression



Ask yourself this...

What would you Give,

Given the chance to go back?

Anything? ...Everything.



That is the Only Gift,

Worthy of Life

Yet when you are dead,

It is too late.

Day 89 - Fear of Death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as Fear of Death, and so rather than take Responsibility for what I have created for myself - as Death - I have Feared Death as the reflection of my Self-Denial in fear of facing who I really am, in so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a complete Lie.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand that fear creates false comfort, as the system I have created to protect my self-interest from my fears with indulgences, entertainment, luxuries and every form of mind control that would prevent me from seeing who I really am, and what is actually happening as energy consuming the physical.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the lie that everything will be 'OK' at some point in the distant future, after I die. 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a religion that dictates that I must Fear God in order to have a chance to achieve my desire of escaping from myself so that I can go to a heaven somewhere out there in an alternate, spiritual reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trick myself into believing 'someone else's answer to the question - what happens when you Die? - Rather than understand fully for myself with absolute certainty how and why Death exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by fear of death so extensively that I have allowed a system of lies and enslavement to exist that constantly lures my attention away from myself and protects the illusion in the belief that "everything is going to be OK", so that I never see/realize/understand and Resolve what I have become as a system, subject to Death.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the harsh reality that Dying is the ultimate separation from Expression of Self - as the consequence for what I have allowed myself to exist as - as a Lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the Macho Male-Ego that pretends to have no fear of death so that I can appear 'wise' and 'strong' to others as a make-believe hero character that laughs at death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself - as the Macho Male Ego - to pretend to face my fear of death by killing animals, people and insects for show and/or entertainment - thinking that acts like these will make me appear courageous, as having a 'deeper understanding' of life, while I am actually demonstrating and proving that I have no understanding, no consideration, no courage, and no compassion for life whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself in pretending to face and understand death through seeking energy highs from movies, books, religions, entertainment, games, music and dressing/adorning myself in themes of death so that I can appear to be 'deep' and 'mysterious' when in reality I was just seeking to get attention from others.

I commit myself to expose the Macho Male Ego as the gutless and cowardly fear of self that it is.

I commit myself to realize that to face death is to face who I am and take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to create as spitefulness with a death sentence.

I commit myself to realize that through pretending to face death in ways which abuse life is self-deception as giving into fear of death rather than facing it for real.

I commit myself to realize that all excitement in this reality is based in fear of death, and fear cannot be Life

I commit myself to the Journey to Nothingness so that I can re-create myself as existence without death or fear thereof.

I commit myself to understand that to face death for real is to be aware of every breath so that I can stop all abuse within myself through fear of death/fear of loss and take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to create -