Friday, 11 January 2013

Day 153 – Personality Systems


Working on changing some personality systems within myself today.  Thus far, I have been able to oddly enjoy the frequent resistances, and direct myself (though there may be many contributing variables).  First - breathing and stabilizing myself in the moment.  Its interesting because the moment changes so quickly, its as if a desire comes up, and then as I breathe and focus on what I am doing, the desire is gone in a few seconds, as if it never existed… yet likely to return at a later time to test me multi-dimensionally, my self-preparedness, my self-directive principle, sticking to my commitment to myself, thoughts, triggers, reactions, emotions and feelings, coping mechanisms, etc. etc. .

Another point in reference to personality systems is how I perceive myself during a particular moment – as having already transcended the point - and then I feel ‘good’ about myself.  Clearly this is not supporting me, as I inevitably deal with the ‘bad’ feeling as fear of not transcending the point. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself in the idea that I have already transcended a personality system in my mind, as opposed to walking it here within moment by moment application as myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the future into an alternate reality, experiencing what I would do, what new decisions I would make, how I am going to live differently because I believe myself to have now transcended a personality system, making myself my own ass-ended master, by not being here directing myself as breath.   I consider the implications in full awareness of myself here, walking the point to completion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking out of a personality system, as walking it out reflects me to myself.  In so, I can see my effectiveness and my ability to process the system within myself, as directing the knowledge and information.  This includes my understanding of – to a certain extent, although all consequential outflows are exponential - what the apparent consequences will be, should I allow this system to execute itself within me.  Realizing and considering the potential consequences, I realize I do not want to participate in this system, as it will allow other sabotaging or self-compromising systems to trigger energetic reactions/emotions/feelings within myself.    

At the same time, I am starting to realize the previous unrealized potential for change, as when I make the decision to stand absolute within myself, how that can change many other things, as of course I am changing myself, so my inner world should eventually be reflected in my outer world.

I commit myself to walking through these two personality systems and using this opportunity to direct myself in each moment.  Through the frequent mind ‘reminder’ requesting my permission/decision to participate in a system of self-interest, as a thought or feeling, I breathe, and stop the personality system at the established check-point within myself.

See Eqafe for great self support

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