Day 180 - Redefining Discipline

Dicitionary Definition

dis·ci·pline

n.

1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

3.

a. Control obtained by enforcing compliance or order.

b. A systematic method to obtain obedience: a military discipline.

c. A state of order based on submission to rules and authority: a teacher who demanded discipline in the classroom.

4. Punishment intended to correct or train.

5. A set of rules or methods, as those regulating the practice of a church or monastic order.

6. A branch of knowledge or teaching.

Redefinition

I have defined the word discipline as within the context of 'being disciplined' or 'punished' by a parent or teacher, and so attaching a negative energetic response within myself – relating the word to past belittling and humiliating experiences of 'being disciplined' by parents and teachers – as well as the extreme definition of the word in the context of the militaristic system of subservience and/or submission. Other interpretations/definitions/relations to the word are;

• Loss of self-control
• loss of personal freedom
• submitting myself to a hierarchy or system of control

Another context of the word I have defined is 'disciple' or 'follower', where I have a negative energetic reaction/response triggering the rebellious system within myself. I realize that rebellion actually an act of self-sabotage.

Therefore it is necessary to redefine Self-discipline within myself, so that no energetic response occurs, but rather 'making the connection' within myself in the realization that Self-discipline is a matter of moving and directing myself so that I can manage and prevent undesirable/unpleasant consequences from occurring now and in the future, and so inevitably resulting in sequences of events that are best for myself as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect moving and directing myself due to the interpretation of my mind as defining discipline within the context of a negative energetic memory/past experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self-discipline within the context of memories of being bullied, humiliated, belittled and punished by parents, coaches, law-enforcement, judges, bosses, friends, enemies, and teachers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self-discipline within the context of being a follower, and therefore believing that I am subjecting myself to a process of enslavement and loss of control, when in actuality learning to direct myself is the means by which I regain authority of and for myself so that I may direct myself in changing myself and living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and associate discipline within the negative energetic polarity as torture, slavery, submission, boring, humiliating, belittling or unpleasant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny self-discipline in the belief that I can allow consequences to play out so that I can gain momentum from the accumulated anger/pain/frustration/resentment as me desiring to be moved by energetic reactions as opposed to me moving myself in realization of how the system functions within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the rewards of self-discipline and self-control as being giving myself back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-discipline as subjecting myself to a set of mindless rules and/or self-righteous moral and/or cultural beliefs.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-discipline was only a means of achieving an elevated egotistical belief of seeing oneself as 'better than others', and so neglecting to discipline or 'assist' myself in fear and distrust of myself and ultimately rebellion to this self created belief.  I realize self-discipline is a tool to assist and support myself to pro-actively face my problems and so prevent consequences, and create myself as self-responsible, as Life, as Equality.