Saturday, 28 January 2017

Day 348

Jan 14

Part 3


(Teal tips)

Perceptions of injustice - unwilling to accept , tied to emotions.

Creates Distrust, Betrayal, Wall of Protection, Victim (Right), Ego, Justification

Resentment supports feeling like a good person

Was I unfairly treated? I feel people were irresponsible in assisting me with my false perceptions (religion, fears, lack of scope, lack of direction etc).

Trying to gain safety by placing myself in a superior position.

What specifics am I resentful about?

Is there self-resentful? yes.

What is the impact this resentment is having on my life? What are the direct consequences? Relationships

Solution: Letting go and Acceptance

Why am I Unwilling to accept that?

Resentment is trying to kill other people by drinking poison.

What really bad thing would happen if I were to let go of the resentment? Fear of Repetition.

Deal with powerlessness by focusing on solutions.

Look at the worst case scenario.

Anger/Rage from Powerlessness spiral

How can I empower myself?

Acknowledge victim mentality (powerlessness)

Feeling Fearing like I failed to take responsibility (self blame)

Seek silver lining in resentment scenarios.

Correct how I have taken things personally.

Feelings internalized through what I did not express - fearful of rejection

Clarify what the expectations were/are.

Create the resolution.

Part 2

What would I do if I could do something with my life?

Create an Adventure. Maybe a short story would help to outline it. Then perhaps I could record it as a narrative, or make a video. Need sounds and fantasy drawings. Fairie Tale type of things, with a kind of moral supporting theme such as stopping judgments or some depiction of value.

Part 1

Headaches as a consequence of me applying quick fixes in my life. Fear of failure - quick fix - destructive consequence. I want to say that I did not understand the scope of my life. At the same time, I must admit to self dishonesty as all is here evident. At the same time I must not condemn myself in that I am within the process of understanding the multidimensional aspects of myself.

Questioning myself as to whether the point of correcting my past abandonment complex. Is it simply a desire to fulfill a fantasy to make myself feel better? Is it harmful, abusive or destructive, or dishonest? Am I subjecting myself to energetic stimuli? Am I using another as an object? What if I am assisting and supporting another to realize... is that self interest? Am I being spiteful to the rest of existence? Is there a fear of rejection? What are the consequences I am not seeing?

Practice seeing deeply into multidimensional self with questions such as how can I change myself to be what is needed most by all? How has the (believed/assumed/projected) perceptions of myself by others affected my expression?  

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