Day 345

Jan 11

Part 2

Misinterpretation - knowledge filters cartoon

Learned from hating my parents that relationships are trouble, as I was always getting into or feared getting into trouble. Emotional anxieties. Family(ies) have a negative charge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven and controlled by emotional energetic reactions when moving myself to eat food.

Entitlement happens when we do not realize our responsibility, and so fall into the belief that we deserve things in life, such as special treatment, free time, free choice, higher than average wages, etc.

Angry at women? Envy? Angry because I feel inferior to them in regards to the beauty construct. Angry because I felt betrayed, as I had expected them to know me on the inside, yet that was an unrealistic expectation I realize now. I remember a time I painted I hate females on my wall I was so upset with my xgf at the time. I feel as though I didn't measure up to my or their expectations. Failure, as the evidence that I have very limited capacity to express myself.

Part 1

Realizing the depth of my own psychological issues from

Low Self Worth

Lack of confidence

Identifying with the mind

Taking things personally

Abandonment

Hating the world (judgment)

Judging myself

Condemnation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a Low Self Worth valuation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see what points are contributing to Low Self Worth, and how those points are affecting my life experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to fix Low Self Worth with abandonment, drugs, and fantasies of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify Low Self Worth through the thought patterns of emotional anxiety and detachment in self pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly desire to be better than in fear of survival and misunderstanding self acceptance, believing that I must be better than in order to be accepted/valued by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having intimacy/sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misunderstand the scope

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others having to look after and take care of my physical body.

I forgive others for everything that I blame them for, as I realize that they are my creation and I theirs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and the world for the problems that I experience in my Life. I realize Equal responsibility for myself and all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect to push myself, thus allowing myself to constantly revert back to my default state of comfort which leads to stagnation and regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain without realizing what pain is communicating to me, and within that, pain ought not be feared but understood.