Day 347

Jan 13

Part 4

Forgiveness statements must have Solution and Correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the process of paying the bills.

Become more effective in downtime. Learning to Train myself.

Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as Life out of the belief that I am special, or that I love Life more than others. I do it out of pure Realization of the existent Self here as trapped within its own feedback resonance, thus I cannot blame myself for having 'less love' or 'too little' love. I am fearing that I am not real, as an original resonance of the past. I do not know the answer to that, but it causes the question... Can a non-original resonant being become Life?

What force is required to push oneself through the vortex?

Change self into physicality to create a world that is best for all. To stop enslavement to energy systems and Life can be real, free, unconditional expression of itself.

Part 2

List issues to prepare for

Stagnation - Push self, discipline self.

I need self discipline because I am not achieving my goals effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Self Discipline.

Redefinition

Discipline as a Useful Tool of Correction ex. rather than punching walls, do push ups as a form of Self Discipline. Polarity of Celebration.

All Punishment should be Encouragement and Self Discipline as Specific Correction to augment behavioral patterns.

Motivate Self from scratch/starting point each moment of unawareness. Back to beginning

Happiness is not the ultimate reward, however it can be a tool of perspective in process.

Buddhist Perspective on Self Discipline

Self Discipline is No Self Discipline

Learn from our successes rather than mistakes. That is to create self and trusting in the reward of life.

Smoking example

Define and Visualize Goals more effectively

Create Fun

Define Fun as a motivational tool

Create/Define enjoyment. Reward Self

Do not allow Discipline to be External to Self.

Create value as Life, in each moment transmute self as mental value to physical.

Buddhist perspective as no self, impermanence, all is suffering, Letting Go. Abandon self as thinking/fear. All is suffering in Samsara, even what I desire as lust energy.

The Raft simili - allows us to get from this shore to the other shore. Once we get to the other shore, we do not need the raft.

Discipline comes from within through Letting Go. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any value when I do not feel (enough) energy.

Finding Value in Self!

Create Self Encouragement - Brainwashing the mind, suggestion as direction, encouragement.

Train the mind - with Simplicity, Clarity, Gentleness, Skill, Tone. Training the mind is easy - programming.

Creating Will as a Quest - Going into More Doors

Getting self excited to move forward.

Train myself to learn to ENJOY work, that is to see past the deception/projection that I will not enjoy myself while performing responsibilities.

Put Joy, happiness into whatever I'm doing. Program

Address (deprogram) Rebellion, stagnation. Re-program.

Think outside of the box. Heavenly Visionary Process???

Stop Condemnation

Be Gentle, Humble, and Compassionate. See the opportunity within taking responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire lust as an energy fix, a point of excitement, as something to do without realizing the consequences of my actions.

How did I create the desire? Believing that I could attain value as love/comfort. To realize that there is no real love in lust, it is a diversion, an addiction, a quick fix for the pain of separation. How to realize this?

I invested so much into my design as sex/love, it is as if I am still trying to get value from it, or still trying to escape.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly think in terms of getting/trying to get value for myself in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can get love as value through sex.

(repeated) There are more dimensions to intimacy than sex. Sharing, giving, receiving, communicating, expressing, touching, caring, supporting, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Distract myself from the act Giving myself to Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the to Give oneself without fear is to initiate the process of becoming Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a fuck up in front of everyone.