Saturday, 29 December 2012
Day 140 – Nature Lover
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a Nature Lover which I realize is only a character personality I made up in my mind which serves to re-enforce the belief in my mind that I am someone special – which conveniently hides the fear of facing and seeing myself for who I really am - as Equal as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the character role of the Nature Lover when i am in a natural environment, acting differently than I would otherwise if I were in an urban setting, not realizing that I am not fooling anyone but myself, actually trying to hide myself from myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine seeing myself in Nature in my mind, and so believe that I am at peace with myself when I am in Nature. I realize this is only the minds idea of peace, and is not real peace, because I am aware that the systems we have created which cause so much harm and exploitation of Life, still continue to exist and create terrible consequence, while I am enjoying myself in the feeble bubble of my mind as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Nature seems peaceful because Nature does not judge me as humans do, all the while the source of the judgements is within myself in fear of who I am. In so I have fooled myself within the belief that Nature is a place where I can escape to, when in fact there is no escape from myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘more sensitive’ and thus ‘better than’ others because I can sense an awareness in Nature while others cannot, and justify myself as a good person, while the world system that I helped to create is busy destroying and exploiting the natural environment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to formulate a love relationship with Nature, as believing Nature to be ‘special’ and in so denying the Equality of life which exists in all things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray nature as ‘beautiful’ in polarity to the ‘ugliness’ and ‘nastiness’ of the world system. I realize that thoughts such as this only serve to create further conflict within participation in the judgemental beauty system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am gaining any kind of value for myself while interacting with nature or doing charitable work such as ‘saving the rain forest’. I realize that charitable work such as this only serves to fuel and support the system of fear through conflict and disagreement.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my experience in nature as the awe and inspiring feeling is actually derived from me not understanding the nature of my reality – as how I have come to be as separate from nature, and thus I am in awe because I am in fear of Nature, as the fear of the unknown, and the fear of who I am as Nature.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the ‘loneliness’ feeling that comes over me when I am in Nature is a reflection of my own diminishment through separation of myself from Nature, by means of supporting and participating in consciousness.
I commit myself to create an actual agreement with myself to stand Equal and One with Nature, as I equally stand to create an Equal and One agreement with all of the systems of the world we have created, so that all Life may be Equal and One, and we may together return to physical Life in agreement, and so stop all abuse of Life forever.
I commit myself to realize that Nature is assisting and supporting me to realize who I am here as a physical being.
I commit myself to understand why I have created myself as separate from nature and so work to change myself to reverse the cause of separation within myself.
I commit myself to embrace myself here as what I have created myself as, and in so dissolve all fears of myself so that I may stop my mind and re-integrate to an Equal and One relationship with the physical world and Nature.