Saturday, 29 December 2012
Day 139 – Reason to Live
Woke up this morning and it occurred to me. It’s Saturday. I remember being a kid, Saturdays were so fun, I would get up in great anticipation and watch cartoons, and then enjoy my time playing with friends. It seemed like an exciting adventure.
Today when I woke up, I realize I did not want to get up, because I have no personal desire or ‘reason’ to live. Sure there are some mildly enjoyable moments, like eating, or writing, or watching a movie. I suppose sex and intimacy could be included, but that I have found to be brief, self-comforting medication only to pacify the greater issue. All of the love in this world is used as a justification to remain in ignorance and not take responsibility. The only thing there is to ‘gain’ in this world is selfish experiences… and that is not gain, it is denial and diminishment.
When we realize how we have created ourselves in this world of the lifeless and selfish… all for profit, competition, and money -excitement, adventure, hopes, and fantasies we had of living, all fade, and are exposed for the false ideals that they were.
We are slaves to our own creation, as selfish desires and therefore we are completely subject to the horrible consequences of such. Working and fighting merely to survive in hell. No wonder I have to push myself to get out of bed. My whole life I thought there was actually something to gain, which created excitement in me as energy, which I lived on as the fuel for the experience of myself. Realizing the fallacy in this, what joy is there in living, as long as the rest of the world suffers and is enslaved? Minimal at best.
I see why many people do not wish to face the truth of themselves, because if they did, then they would have to give up their energetic reason for living – as it is always self interest – and that does not serve the best interest of All to stop the abuse of life.
Equal Money will change everything.