Day 135–Reversing My Self-Hypnosis

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hypnotize myself into creating a relationship with energetic experiences, where I seek to avoid taking responsibility to do practical work at home, as defining it within myself as positive/negative/neutral – in order to seek to avoid or put off tasks that I am aware need to be done.

Waking up this morning, I realized there was an emotional charge within me as a sense of irritability and anger, causing me to not want to get out of bed.  At the time I decided to go back to sleep until it passed.  I realize that I must push through these resistances as emotional reactions of irritability and anger when they are here through breathing, and applying self-forgiveness so that I can direct myself to not be controlled by emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define circumstances as ‘bad’, based on the past week of experiences and what events have or have not transpired.  I realize that in doing so I am allowing my mind to dictate my life based on what has happened in the past through fearing further undesired consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program/hypnotize myself to ‘dislike’ the idea of working within the definitions I have created in my mind as;

- working is slavery

- working is dull and boring

- working sucks

- working is hard on my body

- working is a waste of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create these definitions of ‘what work is’ when actually it is nothing of the sort. 

I realize that I must work to support myself and others, and that I am not an island.  I am responsible to work to assist myself and others in the best way possible to support changing the current system to one that supports all life Equally.  Therefore here I will re-define work for myself as just that – self support, moving myself in directly taking care of myself and others. 

In so I realize that working is not any of those definitions of my mind, but merely me being here and practically applying myself and supporting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stagnate in a state of self-hypnosis, as me being reluctant to discipline myself in each moment, preferring to avoid the situation all together within the justification that I can deal with things later.

I realize that in order to be effective with myself, I must first address the energetic/emotional charges within myself so that I can clear my starting point to here as breath.  For this, I will now start the day with writing and establishing my breathing point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive relationship energy experience to relaxing and doing things that do not support myself, as me avoiding my responsibilities and procrastinating due to the nature of the defined relationship ideas I have created in my mind. 

Also I realize there is backchat regarding the season and my mind telling me that ‘I wont be able to get any work, as it is the holiday season’.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hypnotized and controlled by mind chatter, as opposed to realizing I must take responsibility to make an effort despite my expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing my resistances, as fearing that there are too many to deal with.  I realize I must focus myself to address and deal with each resistance as it is here in so that I can deal with them effectively step by step.

I commit myself to pushing myself to get out of bed as soon as I get up in the morning.  If there are resistances such as irritability, I commit myself to writing them out first thing and clearing my starting point to here as breath

I commit myself to start my day with writing out any points of self-forgiveness that need to be addressed

I commit myself to developing self-discipline within myself through removing positive and negative energetic charges as mind created definitions which only induce my own self-hypnosis.

I commit myself to reverse my self-hypnosis through applying self-forgiveness aloud to myself when I see issues within myself.

I commit myself push myself to clear my starting point to here so that I am prepared for each new situation that arises within my day.

I commit myself to value each moment Equally, to stop defining moments within positive/negative/neutral energetic charges so that I can Equalize myself here in each moment. When and as I feel any energetic charge within me as a self-defined moment being better than or worse than another, I address the point and make a note to myself to do self-forgiveness if I am not able to do it at the present time.